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Jun 15, 2012 2:50 PM

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Ahh I have felt that. It's tough because that can likely give you a whole lot of information about them as a person. Since anime is generally pretty deep or meaningful, it can show you what that person values.

If they like things you hate, chances are they don't feel the same way about the things you value. x__x;;
 
Jun 15, 2012 2:54 PM

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I really get angry when a person hates the anime i love, but I can tolerate it and if that person wants I can talk with (s)he and we can be friends.
 
Jun 15, 2012 2:56 PM

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If they like things you hate, chances are they don't feel the same way about the things you value. x__x;;

But that doesn't make friendship impossible. Hell a big part of having real friends is knowing that their opinions are different from yours and accepting those differences.

 
Jun 15, 2012 2:56 PM

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Anime_Name said:
If you can be friends with people that don't like anime at all then you can be friends with anime fans that have different favorites than you. It's pretty superficial and childish to think otherwise.

I don't think this is the real problem some people may find here in MyAnimeList. Being a place that deals primarily with anime and manga I can understand -not share- the idea that some people may have towards fans who have very different tastes. The attitude of trying to avoid confrontation is quite common in this place, and they may think that trying to be friends with those fans in MyAnimeList would lead to disagreements and situations that will make them feel uncomfortable, because the conversations would be set on anime and manga after all.

I can't say I agree, it's just that I see other possible reasons other than being juvenile and non-accepting. Specially in this site, in real life there's other ways to build a relationship, but in this one there's a clear focus.
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Jun 15, 2012 3:00 PM

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@Anime_Name

Although that's true, it all depends on what you're talking about. If it's something very serious and they don't value it, then you're talking about some serious issues. Say people who're seriously into ecchi or overly sexual things. I am not a very sexual person and prefer to keep things like that private and out of my anime (as I've said on MAL before, if I'm looking for sex or things like that in an anime, I might as well watch hentai). So if someone is like that, it's unlikely we'll get along.
 
Jun 15, 2012 3:10 PM

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jal90 said:
Anime_Name said:
If you can be friends with people that don't like anime at all then you can be friends with anime fans that have different favorites than you. It's pretty superficial and childish to think otherwise.

I don't think this is the real problem some people may find here in MyAnimeList. Being a place that deals primarily with anime and manga I can understand -not share- the idea that some people may have towards fans who have very different tastes. The attitude of trying to avoid confrontation is quite common in this place, and they may think that trying to be friends with those fans in MyAnimeList would lead to disagreements and situations that will make them feel uncomfortable, because the conversations would be set on anime and manga after all.

I can't say I agree, it's just that I see other possible reasons other than being juvenile and non-accepting. Specially in this site, in real life there's other ways to build a relationship, but in this one there's a clear focus.


But that begs the question that does merely having different opinions on an anime list mean conflict will arise? Since anime is a niche market to begin with I can only assume that many of us here have friends that are not into anime at all and conflicts over our interest in anime has not been detrimental to our social lives.

If it's something very serious and they don't value it, then you're talking about some serious issues.

Of course degree of seriousniess matters but that's not something you can readily judge from an anime list or review.

Say people who're seriously into ecchi or overly sexual things. I am not a very sexual person and prefer to keep things like that private and out of my anime (as I've said on MAL before, if I'm looking for sex or things like that in an anime, I might as well watch hentai). So if someone is like that, it's unlikely we'll get along.

Well I hate to burst your bubble but there are plenty of sexual people out there, you probably even know some, but the only difference between your neighbors and the folks on MAL is that you know what kind of kink someone is into IF they put it on their anime list.(Knowing what someone likes doesn't mean they are going to try to include you) Please don't think that not knowing what someone's fetish is means they don't have a fetish.

 
Jun 15, 2012 3:32 PM

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Tachii said:
Ryekeel said:
GuZ said:
I'm totally okay with someone having different taste as long as it isn't embarrassingly bad. Having superficial and painful ecchi shows among your highest rated wouldn't really make a good impression on me, that's for sure.

And if people really hate my favourite shows? Don't mind it one bit. I know very well that they aren't everyone's cup of tea and I kind of prefer it to be that way. Would probably like to know the reason why they dislike them so much if we were to become friends though.


Pretty much like this. I'm not at all bothered with how much someone's taste differs from mine, but I'd rather they make concrete arguments as to why they disliked it, rather than simple one liners like "it sucked blah blah blah!".
You know what they say, opinions are fine and all, but if you can't remotely back it up, it's worth shit. Harsh, but it seems many people fail to realize this.


Ha! True! Can't be helped, I guess.
 
Jun 15, 2012 3:32 PM

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@Anime_Name

I disagree. You can get that pretty well from some anime. Not all of them, but you can get a pretty good impression.

I don't care if someone is into something or has fetishes. I care if it's something they are very public about. It's not my business and I can't say it's really anyone else's. In real life I'm not a fan of people who talk about sex a lot or crack sex jokes constantly, and I sure don't want that in my anime either.

If you like hentai or ecchi and don't put it on your list, you're likely keeping it personal. That's a-okay. If you have your list full of ecchi things and that's what you really enjoy, chances are I'm not interested in being your friend.
 
Jun 15, 2012 3:46 PM

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Opposites attract.
 
Jun 15, 2012 4:10 PM

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Anime_Name said:
jal90 said:
Anime_Name said:
If you can be friends with people that don't like anime at all then you can be friends with anime fans that have different favorites than you. It's pretty superficial and childish to think otherwise.

I don't think this is the real problem some people may find here in MyAnimeList. Being a place that deals primarily with anime and manga I can understand -not share- the idea that some people may have towards fans who have very different tastes. The attitude of trying to avoid confrontation is quite common in this place, and they may think that trying to be friends with those fans in MyAnimeList would lead to disagreements and situations that will make them feel uncomfortable, because the conversations would be set on anime and manga after all.

I can't say I agree, it's just that I see other possible reasons other than being juvenile and non-accepting. Specially in this site, in real life there's other ways to build a relationship, but in this one there's a clear focus.


But that begs the question that does merely having different opinions on an anime list mean conflict will arise? Since anime is a niche market to begin with I can only assume that many of us here have friends that are not into anime at all and conflicts over our interest in anime has not been detrimental to our social lives.

That's why I am making a difference between real life and MAL life. This site is for anime/manga fans and therefore the primary way of meeting people is through these things. Considering that most of the conversations will go, predictably, about this terms, that would mean a situation of "risk" for those who want to avoid any kind of discussion/confrontation.
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Jun 15, 2012 4:39 PM

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I accept that people have different taste and opinions, so if the other person accept that too, then i don't think we would have any problems being friends if we had other interests in common.
 
Jun 15, 2012 4:48 PM

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Differences are great and keep things diverse, sure. But you need some kind of common ground in anything in order to have a long lasting friendship.

If someone posted on my wall on here and started talking to me, and if I take a look at their ratings and taste, only to find his/her's dramatically opposite of mine, then our conversations won't go very far, as we'll simply disagree too much.

I can deal with knowing people offline that like different anime or don't really even watch it; that's different because I actually know the person. An anonymous user from MAL is a different ballgame, and it's best to keep some distance at that point.

There are people that click with each other, and there are some that simply have nothing of value to share with one another.
 
Jun 15, 2012 6:08 PM

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jal90 said:
Anime_Name said:
jal90 said:
Anime_Name said:
If you can be friends with people that don't like anime at all then you can be friends with anime fans that have different favorites than you. It's pretty superficial and childish to think otherwise.

I don't think this is the real problem some people may find here in MyAnimeList. Being a place that deals primarily with anime and manga I can understand -not share- the idea that some people may have towards fans who have very different tastes. The attitude of trying to avoid confrontation is quite common in this place, and they may think that trying to be friends with those fans in MyAnimeList would lead to disagreements and situations that will make them feel uncomfortable, because the conversations would be set on anime and manga after all.

I can't say I agree, it's just that I see other possible reasons other than being juvenile and non-accepting. Specially in this site, in real life there's other ways to build a relationship, but in this one there's a clear focus.


But that begs the question that does merely having different opinions on an anime list mean conflict will arise? Since anime is a niche market to begin with I can only assume that many of us here have friends that are not into anime at all and conflicts over our interest in anime has not been detrimental to our social lives.

That's why I am making a difference between real life and MAL life. This site is for anime/manga fans and therefore the primary way of meeting people is through these things. Considering that most of the conversations will go, predictably, about this terms, that would mean a situation of "risk" for those who want to avoid any kind of discussion/confrontation.

I agree with Jal90 tho. If you're on this site and you're searching for friends, well, the first thing to talk about is anime.

If you're already COMPLETELY incompatible with anime then I don't know... It depends on the other person, but usually it won't go well.




Autocrat said:
Hitler was good, objectively.
 
Jun 15, 2012 7:07 PM

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Screw the list,I care about the person themselves.Just because we both love One Piece,doesn't mean I'm gonna ignore the fact that s/he is a psycho murdering rapist who profile pic is a pic of pedobear.
Anyway,there isn't really any type of anime I hate or really dislike.
My Devianart

Oh & Space Brothers is still the best anime ever,in my opinion.Even when competing with Attack on Titan.
 
Jun 15, 2012 8:22 PM

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I don't hold any personal judgement on them. We all have different tastes in all kinds of things. Still, a great disparity in anime taste does often foreshadow differing values and interests, in other words, little to talk about but some times people are a pleasant surprise.
-animeS - The plural of anime is anime. More than one deer is still deer. There is no damn "s".
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Jun 15, 2012 8:56 PM

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I... really don't care what most people like. You can't be too picky with the friends you make.
The one thing that I'd love to see is a lesbian yandere.
 
Jun 16, 2012 4:57 AM

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I wouldn't really have a problem with it. If someone I was to become friends with didn't share the same complete anime interest as I, that wouldn't bother me. If they are a nice person it shouldn't reflect how you feel about them.
 
Jun 16, 2012 10:06 AM

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I have yet to befriend a person here who has way more different anime than mine.
Most of my friend share the same anime as mine by at least 50%.

Though, I am not that good at arguments... I will never be the one who backs down when the argument is about anime/manga. I had an argument with my friend how our rating differs, since my friend argues to me that my ranking on his favorite anime is low. So I defended myself and justified why my ranking on those anime aren't the same as him. So arguing about anime is good too, since you will know other peoples' perspectives.

They say, the more you fight and argue, indicates you get along better. And it doesn't mean having a different taste in anime doesn't mean you won't get along too. It is all up to yourself and how you get along with others.
 
Jun 16, 2012 10:40 AM

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jal90 said:

That's why I am making a difference between real life and MAL life. This site is for anime/manga fans and therefore the primary way of meeting people is through these things. Considering that most of the conversations will go, predictably, about this terms, that would mean a situation of "risk" for those who want to avoid any kind of discussion/confrontation.


You're adding a lot of fluff to the argument that simply is not part of the topic at hand. It's great that you created some group of people who use MAL primarily for seeking out friends and who want to avoid any kind of discussion/conflict as those criteria seem tailor made for your point. However, different tastes in anime does not bar people from being friends. The listings function of MAL just makes people's opinions on the entertainment they watch known without having to engage in conversation or get to know the person first. Which basically opens the door to the kind of superficial judgement people tend to grow out of after kindergarten.

Your ridiculous criteria aside, If agreeing on anime/entertainment was a prerequisite for friendship then all of your friends would share your opinion of the shows you've watched. That's not impossible they'll all agree with you but it's more likely than not that they'll have some different opinions.

 
Jun 16, 2012 10:51 AM

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i think i'm the only one out of my friends to like romances and shojo type stuff a lot
for instance, dtb, clannad, air, fsn, steins;gate
that doesn't mean i'm not friends with them or whatever
also if you think because your tastes are different or whatever just go ahead and discuss your thoughts and your friends thoughts, might have more in common
~"The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands." (Pirsig)

 
Jun 16, 2012 10:58 AM

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I disagree. You can get that pretty well from some anime. Not all of them, but you can get a pretty good impression.

No, that's called stereotyping and judging someone based on a nearly static list that represents a small fraction of their life is a horrible way to get an impression.

don't care if someone is into something or has fetishes. I care if it's something they are very public about.

I wouldn't call listing porn anime you've seen on a website designed to catalog the anime you've seen while using an internet pseudonym isn't being "very public."

It's not my business and I can't say it's really anyone else's. In real life I'm not a fan of people who talk about sex a lot or crack sex jokes constantly, and I sure don't want that in my anime either.

What discussion? All we're talking about is you knowing what kind of shows a person has watched by looking at the anime list. That's not them constantly talking about sex or cracking sexual jokes in public. You looking at their lists doesn't put sex in "your" anime. Whether or not a person who puts ecchi anime on their anime list will do any of those things remains to be seen and probably is completely separate discussion.


f you like hentai or ecchi and don't put it on your list, you're likely keeping it personal. That's a-okay. If you have your list full of ecchi things and that's what you really enjoy, chances are I'm not interested in being your friend.

It's just a list and your knowledge of what some else watches. If you don't want to be friends with someone because you know they like ecchi shows but will be friends with someone who keeps it a secret from you then that speaks more about how judgmental you are than what people put on their anime lists. And I would question any relationship established where people have to hide what kind of genres they enjoy in order to remain friends.
Modified by Anime_Name, Jun 16, 2012 11:46 AM

 
Jun 16, 2012 11:21 AM

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Anime_Name said:
It's just a list and your knowledge of what some else watches. If you don't want to be friends with someone because you know they like ecchi shows but will be friends with someone who keeps it a secret from you then that how judgemental you are than what people put on their anime lists. And I would question any relationship estahblished where people have to hide what kind of genres they enjoy in order to remain friends.
--Crap. Here I go having to agree with you again. ;-)
-animeS - The plural of anime is anime. More than one deer is still deer. There is no damn "s".
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Jun 16, 2012 12:47 PM

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@Anime_Name

First - I have to say that I think you're arguing for the sake of arguing.

It's not stereotyping. If someone likes NGE, chances are they -got- what the show was trying to say, and if they didn't like it, they likely didn't get it. That's just what that show is like. So if I see you like NGE, then our friendship compatibility goes up in my head. If you didn't, then there's a good chance you either never have been in the place where Shinji is coming from and can't appreciate it, or you didn't think outside the box to understand it well. Either way, that's something we would disagree on, and lowers our friendship compatibility in my head. (and before you reply, if you want to argue about NGE, please don't bother because I don't have any interest in discussing it in this topic)

That being said, I'm not going to give up being friends with you just because you didn't like NGE. You'd probably have to hate a lot of other things I hold very dear and have a pattern of what you clearly like or don't like given the seriousness of the topic in the show, and also probably have a lot of fluff stuff that I seriously hate for me to look at your list and say "wow, I highly doubt we'd be friends".

Don't be so literal with my words. You're arguing semantics. I used the sex joke thing as an example. I was saying people who are very public about their sexual lives are not the kind of people I'm usually friends with. That being said, people who seriously enjoy ecchi (and I don't mean one or two, I mean a list full of them) are clearly proclaiming that they are publicly sexual people. The difference in people who do watch it and put it on their list or those who don't means that they either enjoy it in their own private world, or they are publicly announcing their enjoyment for it. It's the same thing as someone who comes up and tells me about their fetishes in real life, or someone who leaves it in the bedroom.

No one is saying that liking those things is a negative thing. I'm not asking people to keep it a secret from me, I'm just not a big fan them putting it in my face. It's not my business, so why make it my business? If you like ecchi and you are covering your list in them on a public forum that's about sharing your lists with others, then you are clearly someone who does not worry about keeping your sexual life private. There's no argument there.

Anyone can put anything they want on their list, but I think that certainly does change how I (or anyone else for that matter) see them. To most of us on this site this is a pretty important part of our lives, so usually what's on there makes up a big chunk of who we are as individuals.
Modified by SecretDuckie, Jun 16, 2012 12:50 PM
 
Jun 16, 2012 12:48 PM
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*doesn't read topic*

Who gives a shit.
 
Jun 16, 2012 1:33 PM

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Don't be so literal with my words. You're arguing semantics.

I am just trying to take what you say and try to point out how wrong it is but if what you say can't be taken literally then there's no way we can communicate since what you're saying has no literal value.

That being said, people who seriously enjoy ecchi (and I don't mean one or two, I mean a list full of them) are clearly proclaiming that they are publicly sexual people.

No they are not. They are using the ambiguity of the internet and hiding behind a pseudonym to list out what shows they've enjoyed on MAL. This is no way implies how sexually open such a person acts in public.


The difference in people who do watch it and put it on their list or those who don't means that they either enjoy it in their own private world, or they are publicly announcing their enjoyment for it.

There's no difference because anime list on MAL are their own private world and you'd have a very tough time being able to identify whether or not EcchiLover69 is your neighbor, teacher, or the guy flipping burgers at WacDonald's.

It's the same thing as someone who comes up and tells me about their fetishes in real life, or someone who leaves it in the bedroom.

It's more like you taking it upon yourself to rifling through someones closest and dresser drawers. Our anime lists are not telling or forcing the information on you. In order to gain the information of what anyone here has watched you have to be the one to click on their profile/anime list to find out.

Anyone can put anything they want on their list, but I think that certainly does change how I (or anyone else for that matter) see them. To most of us on this site this is a pretty important part of our lives, so usually what's on there makes up a big chunk of who we are as individuals.

And I think you're too busy trying hide behind what "most" people do to see that people in this thread are not as judgmental and reactionary as you when it comes to what others put on their lists.

 
Jun 16, 2012 1:33 PM

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Don't be so literal with my words. You're arguing semantics.

I am just trying to take what you say and try to point out how wrong it is but if what you say can't be taken literally then there's no way we can communicate since what you're saying has no literal value.

That being said, people who seriously enjoy ecchi (and I don't mean one or two, I mean a list full of them) are clearly proclaiming that they are publicly sexual people.

No they are not. They are using the ambiguity of the internet and hiding behind a pseudonym to list out what shows they've enjoyed on MAL. This is no way implies how sexually open such a person acts in public.


The difference in people who do watch it and put it on their list or those who don't means that they either enjoy it in their own private world, or they are publicly announcing their enjoyment for it.

There's no difference because anime list on MAL are their own private world and you'd have a very tough time being able to identify whether or not EcchiLover69 is your neighbor, teacher, or the guy flipping burgers at WacDonald's.

It's the same thing as someone who comes up and tells me about their fetishes in real life, or someone who leaves it in the bedroom.

It's more like you taking it upon yourself to rifling through someones closest and dresser drawers. Our anime lists are not telling or forcing the information on you. In order to gain the information of what anyone here has watched you have to be the one to click on their profile/anime list to find out.

Anyone can put anything they want on their list, but I think that certainly does change how I (or anyone else for that matter) see them. To most of us on this site this is a pretty important part of our lives, so usually what's on there makes up a big chunk of who we are as individuals.

And I think you're too busy trying hide behind what "most" people do to see that people in this thread are not as judgmental and reactionary as you when it comes to what others put on their lists.

 
Jun 16, 2012 2:12 PM

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@Anime_Name

I don't think we're really going to get anywhere here because you clearly are not getting what it is that I'm trying to say. I'm not saying that I care if EcchiLover69 is a sex addict in his normal every day life or not, what I'm saying is that EcchiLover69 wants to tell the internet about his love of ecchi, that means that he is sharing it publicly.

I do not seek people out to look through their lists, the only ones I'm looking at are those of people who have talked to me, or those of people who post on the "above users's PTW" kinds of threads. Those people are posting there to show their list. If I wasn't looking to publicly announce my likes or dislikes, I wouldn't post in those threads. Plain and simple.

When I'm meeting people on a forum, all I really care about is their forum personality. To be honest with you, it's very unlikely I will seek out their friendship beyond that because this is the internet... the internet is not like the real world, and a lot of the people on here DO take on personas they do not in normal life. Unless we have some very serious connection where maybe, just maybe, I might add them to my facebook or IM chat with them, it's really not going to go much farther than that. I'm not looking for people who I'm going to meet in person next week or a year from now.

So if someone is willing to show how sexual they are on here, that's all that I'm caring about. They are publicly exclaiming their love for sexual things or fetishes, then I'm not interested. As simple as that. Doesn't matter if they are that way in real life or not, that was just an example.
 
Jun 16, 2012 2:14 PM

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i can actually think of one time where i heard an opinion and just went, no we cant be friends, its not over anime but i was talking to someone who though THIS


was better than this




and i just separated myself entirely from that person and i do not regret it

Immahnoob said:
Jizzy, I know you have no idea how to argue for shit,

tokiyashiro said:

Jizzy as you would call yourself because youre a dick The most butthurt award goes to you And clearly you havent watched that many shows thats why you cant determine if a show is unique or not Or maybe you're just a child who likes common stuffs where hero saves the day and guys gets all the girls. Sad taste you have there kid you came up to me in the first place making you look more like a kid who got slapped without me even knowing it and start crying about it to me

 
Jun 16, 2012 2:16 PM

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Brokencyde are amazing.
 
Jun 16, 2012 2:28 PM

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I'm not saying that I care if EcchiLover69 is a sex addict in his normal every day life or not, what I'm saying is that EcchiLover69 wants to tell the internet about his love of ecchi, that means that he is sharing it publicly.

Doing so on a private internet forum under a pseudonym is not public information. In order for it to be made public then one would have to make their real name known and inform people that he has information on MAL. Seeing that you won't be able to figure out who EcchiLover_69 is means it he is not forcing or telling the world publicly about his anime interest.


I do not seek people out to look through their lists, the only ones I'm looking at are those of people who have talked to me, or those of people who post on the "above users's PTW" kinds of threads. Those people are posting there to show their list. If I wasn't looking to publicly announce my likes or dislikes, I wouldn't post in those threads. Plain and simple.

And there's no way for you to seek or filter out people who put ecchi titles on their list before you actually look at their list. The fact that you haven't seen anyone with ecchi titles one their lists in the "above user's PTW" threads is pure coincidence on your part.


So if someone is willing to show how sexual they are on here, that's all that I'm caring about. They are publicly exclaiming their love for sexual things or fetishes, then I'm not interested. As simple as that. Doesn't matter if they are that way in real life or not, that was just an example.

It's odd that most of your comments on the subject have been trying to imply that people that put sexual titles on their lists here are also openly sexual in real life.

 
Jun 16, 2012 3:15 PM

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Ugh. You clearly don't understand what "public" means. Public refers to in the view of the general populous. In front of people. MAL is just as public as anything else on the internet. Public is just not private. Anything not private is public. Get it? So it doesn't mean anything besides that. EcchiLover69 is public about EcchiLover69's life. That doesn't mean that John Doe who is playing EcchiLover69 acts like he does on the internet. I don't care about John Doe, I care about EcchiLover69, and I don't want to be his friend. Does that mean that I might be friends with John Doe? Maybe, if he's not like his internet persona. Once again, I'm not looking for -real- friends, just internet friends for my internet personality of Secret Duckie. In the end of the day, that's not what this discussion is about. It's just been skewed because you skew what I'm saying.

The question was do you ever see a list with anime so different from your tastes that you think "I could never be friends with that person". I said yes, because I think what their interests are and what they like directly impact how I feel about them. I just don't want to be friends with people who don't have things in common with me. Is that so strange? We're talking about anime, here, and that's what I'm looking for in "friendship"... internet anime friends.

Anyway... I'm finished with the conversation because you're clearly just being argumentative.
 
Jun 16, 2012 3:29 PM

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Ugh. You clearly don't understand what "public" means. Public refers to in the view of the general populous. In front of people.

Being public also requires a certain accountability. A person here might be "publicly" making there hobbies known but due to being disguised is one way to lessen/completely remove any publicity that could come from it.
The term "public" has taken a very loose meaning when speaking in terms of the internet.
Without a way to tie an internet identity to a real person any and all public displays on the internet are meaningless.

EcchiLover69 is public about EcchiLover69's life.

EcchiLover69 is a fictional character with no ties or restrictions to real life. Thus, being freed of most accountability EcchiLover69 is able to do/say things that he would possible not do if his identity was actually known. Completely ignoring the freedom and ambiguity the internet brings is where you logic about "public" displays fall apart.

Maybe, if he's not like his internet persona. Once again, I'm not looking for -real- friends, just internet friends for my internet personality of Secret Duckie. In the end of the day, that's not what this discussion is about. It's just been skewed because you skew what I'm saying.


It's skewed because instead of answering the topics question, can you be friends with someone who has different anime tastes, you've been slowly trying to change the question to limit it to only mean "online friends". Don't blame me for taking the topic literally. Blame yourself for wanting to answer a question that wasn't asked.

 
Jun 16, 2012 4:32 PM

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It might be hard to come up with discussions if the other guy hates animes you like and love. Atleast thats the case for me.
 
Jun 16, 2012 4:35 PM

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Anime_Name said:
Don't blame me for taking the topic literally. Blame yourself for wanting to answer a question that wasn't asked.
Even OP brought up online friends, though. Because that subject relates to the thread nicely, especially for those of us who meet anime fans almost exclusively online. And really, SecretDuckie was pretty obviously talking about that for a while now so if this thread's integrity worries you so much, you could've said so sooner instead of missing his point on purpose. Long debates on a technicality aren't what was asked for either.

But anyway, no, a few numbers are not enough to go on. Well, I guess if our scores were all the way identical, I'd assume we won't have much to discuss, but otherwise I'm fine unless your attitude puts me off or you can't write.
Modified by Nyuu3, Jun 16, 2012 4:39 PM
 
Jun 16, 2012 4:39 PM

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Anime_Name said:
jal90 said:

That's why I am making a difference between real life and MAL life. This site is for anime/manga fans and therefore the primary way of meeting people is through these things. Considering that most of the conversations will go, predictably, about this terms, that would mean a situation of "risk" for those who want to avoid any kind of discussion/confrontation.


You're adding a lot of fluff to the argument that simply is not part of the topic at hand. It's great that you created some group of people who use MAL primarily for seeking out friends and who want to avoid any kind of discussion/conflict as those criteria seem tailor made for your point. However, different tastes in anime does not bar people from being friends. The listings function of MAL just makes people's opinions on the entertainment they watch known without having to engage in conversation or get to know the person first. Which basically opens the door to the kind of superficial judgement people tend to grow out of after kindergarten.

Your ridiculous criteria aside, If agreeing on anime/entertainment was a prerequisite for friendship then all of your friends would share your opinion of the shows you've watched. That's not impossible they'll all agree with you but it's more likely than not that they'll have some different opinions.

I'm not adding fluff. If you didn't understand the argument in the first place, it's not my fault. Because this post was a rephrased, summed up version of the previous one.

You might also want to read again my first post on this stuff to realize how much do I agree with the line of thought I just claim to understand.

The rest of the answer would be just repeating myself so I think that's all for now.
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Jun 16, 2012 4:41 PM

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NyuuuuSaaaan said:
Anime_Name said:
Don't blame me for taking the topic literally. Blame yourself for wanting to answer a question that wasn't asked.
Even OP brought up online friends, though. Because that subject relates to the thread nicely, especially for those of us who meet anime fans almost exclusively online. And really, SecretDuckie was pretty obviously talking about that for a while now so if this thread's integrity worries you so much, you could've said so sooner instead of missing his point on purpose. Long debates on a technicality aren't what was asked for either.


My ass SecretDuckie was being obvious about online friends with lines like this; "It's tough because that can likely give you a whole lot of information about them as a person."
Sure SecretDuckie might have ultimately meant only online friendships but he/she was not clear about from the start and has been slowing moving the bar away from what I was discussing.

I have made no claims to care about this thread's integrity. I've only pointed out that the topic was not just about online friends and that none of my comments have been limited to one's ability to make online friends.

If this was a blog then maybe long debates would be out of the question but this is a forums and long debates are par for the course and to be expected. Why so many people on MAL want to the forums are just for one-liners, memes, and other kinds of vapid posts is beyond me.
Modified by Anime_Name, Jun 16, 2012 4:53 PM

 
Jun 16, 2012 4:47 PM

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jal90 said:


You might also want to read again my first post on this stuff to realize how much do I agree with the line of thought I just claim to understand.


My comments to you are based on the wonky criteria(separating MAL from real life, diving that only anime would be discussed, and supposing that a person is actively seeking to avoid conflict) you attached to the comment of mine that you quoted. I`don't really care about your first comment in this topic.

 
Jun 16, 2012 5:03 PM

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"for a while now". Personally, I figured out around the time he called MAL public that he was talking about online personas. And what I'm saying is, if you see someone moving the bar away, just say so instead of breaking his post down and pointlessly criticizing it on your own terms. If they tell you to get off their back, chances are they weren't in it to "win" from the beginning. Maybe their careless little comment was meant as casual conversation.
 
Jun 16, 2012 5:09 PM

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Anime_Name said:
jal90 said:


You might also want to read again my first post on this stuff to realize how much do I agree with the line of thought I just claim to understand.


My comments to you are based on the wonky criteria(separating MAL from real life, diving that only anime would be discussed, and supposing that a person is actively seeking to avoid conflict) you attached to the comment of mine that you quoted. I`don't really care about your first comment in this topic.

And then again, unless you want to get jerky about it, I separated MAL and real life because I do think they provide environments which are different enough to provoke different answers on some people.

MAL works both as a personal manganime list and a social network to share opinions on that kind of stuff and meet people. So I think this applies (or otherwise we wouldn't be discussing this because it happens that the OP is referring specifically to the list, and you know what, the anime list).

Some people here actively seek to avoid conflict. I'm not saying I agree with that but it exists and if their system works I'm not going to judge their decisions (given that discussing them would be useless as it would be unlikely to get an answer :P). You have probably read that guy who has over 60,000 posts (never remember his name) saying that he prefers to keep himself outside of any discussion. That to put a fair example out of many.

Anyway, claiming this behaviour as kindergarten level is something I can also do without any back up, so don't get too nerdy about it. If they feel uncomfortable in certain situations who am I to force them, or even to speculate on the real reason behind their decisions.

And by the way... "It's great that you created some group of people who use MAL primarily for seeking out friends and who want to avoid any kind of discussion/conflict as those criteria seem tailor made for your point." - You can't say you didn't miss my point. I'd say you found it, you stamped on it, and presented this new, conveniently changed view in order to have something to argue about. Or maybe it is just a trick to make it seem like a direct attack, again to hide/ignore the fact that we have similar views on the topic itself.

And to bring this to an end, I don't know what did you think this thread was about, my comment was a derivation from the main idea -having different anime/manga tastes can/cannot define your ability to become friends with somebody- which still stays and respects that main topic so I don't understand what the hell are you arguing about in that aspect.
Modified by jal90, Jun 16, 2012 5:17 PM
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Jun 16, 2012 5:24 PM

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NyuuuuSaaaan said:
"for a while now". Personally, I figured out around the time he called MAL public that he was talking about online personas.


Damn shame I am not going to retroactively change my comments based your little revelation.

jal90 said:
Anyway, claiming this behaviour as kindergarten level is something I can also do without any back up, so don't get too nerdy about it. If they feel uncomfortable in certain situations who am I to force them, or even to speculate on the real reason behind of their decisions.

You can not speculate all you like but it is funny that you wish come up with reasoning why someone might find it hard(not impossible) to make friends based on an anime list but you aren't willing enough to say what such reasoning implies about a person's maturity level or social standing. It's like you know describing childish actions is more palatable so long as you leave out the actual word, childish.

And to bring this to an end, I don't know what did you think this thread was about, my comment was a derivation on the main idea -having different anime/manga tastes can/cannot define your ability to become friends with somebody- which still stays and respects that main topic so I don't understand what the hell are you arguing about in that aspect.

You quoted me and attempted give reason to what I was describing. Don't get all shocked now that a disagreement with ensued. How often has you trying to rephrase things in politically correct way worked with me?

 
Jun 16, 2012 5:45 PM

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Anime_Name said:
jal90 said:
Anyway, claiming this behaviour as kindergarten level is something I can also do without any back up, so don't get too nerdy about it. If they feel uncomfortable in certain situations who am I to force them, or even to speculate on the real reason behind of their decisions.

You can not speculate all you like but it is funny that you wish come up with reasoning why someone might find it hard(not impossible) to make friends based on an anime list but you aren't willing enough to say what such reasoning implies about a person's maturity level or social standing. It's like you know describing childish actions is more palatable so long as you leave out the actual word, childish.

I can speculate, as you do too. I can say that somebody might try to avoid discussion because they find this site to be a place for relaxing and just getting calmed and careless after a hard and depressing day in which they have to deal with multiple situations that get them mentally exhausted.

Anyway, that would just be another rephrase on the previous post but whatever: MAL and real life are different environments. In MAL anime (and manga) becomes the primary source to know and talk with somebody. So if people don't want to discuss ---> they avoid talking, and having a -strictly based on MAL standards- relationship with those whose tastes are not alike.

I can say and agree that this behaviour is childish. However that is not any more or less than a convenient conclusion for my own thoughts, and as I am not going to be able to know the particular reasons of those people, I prefer to avoid any kind of judgement that implies analyzing the behaviour in more levels than the ones that are shown to me.

Anime_Name said:
And to bring this to an end, I don't know what did you think this thread was about, my comment was a derivation on the main idea -having different anime/manga tastes can/cannot define your ability to become friends with somebody- which still stays and respects that main topic so I don't understand what the hell are you arguing about in that aspect.

You quoted me and attempted give reason to what I was describing. Don't get all shocked now that a disagreement with ensued. How often has you trying to rephrase things in politically correct way worked with me?

Meh, I somehow haven't lost my hopes on it.
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Jun 16, 2012 5:56 PM

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I can speculate, as you do too. I can say that somebody might try to avoid discussion because they find this site to be a place for relaxing and just getting calmed and careless after a hard and depressing day in which they have to deal with multiple situations that get them mentally exhausted.

Creating a group that supports you opinion is convenient. Of course it has nothing to do with the comment of mine you quote but it's what you do...

Anyway, that would just be another rephrase on the previous post but whatever: MAL and real life are different environments. In MAL anime (and manga) becomes the primary source to know and talk with somebody. So if people don't want to discuss ---> they avoid talking, and having a -strictly based on MAL standards- relationship with those whose tastes are not alike.

And my posts have limited the conversation possibilities to just anime or manga or just MAL friendship? I would say my comments have not done that but what would I know. They are just my comments after all.

I can say and agree that this behaviour is childish. However that is not any more or less than a convenient conclusion for my own thoughts, and as I am not going to be able to know the particular reasons of those people, I prefer to avoid any kind of judgement that implies analyzing the behaviour in more levels than the ones that are shown to me.

Good for you. I however, have not. Troubling that I post my ideas in a different way than you post yours.

Meh, I somehow haven't lost my hopes on it.

You do know what Einstein said about insanity?

 
Jun 16, 2012 6:28 PM
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This is not really aimed at anyone in particular, but I would like to point out that 'not being friends with' is totally different to disliking, or not enjoying spending time with, or talking with.

In the last 5 odd years online, I have met 2 people I consider a friend. Those 2 people have very similar tastes on anime/visual novels. It is a large part of the basis of our friendship. A lot of the talking we do is about those things, or related to it. Now, on non anime topics, and often anime topics we frequently disagree.

The thing is, chances are if these people had absolutely different tastes to me, I would not be their friend and they would not be mine. They would, instead, be part of the group of people I have met, talked to, played games with, and not been friends with. This is because a friendship needs at least some basis to run on. Without it, it is likely to be rather boring personally.

Now, as to the whole 'What about non anime things you might agree on' idea. Yes, it is possible to find non anime topics that may be agreed on. However, considering that this is MAL if I see someone has a completely conflicting list to mine, I can make a fairly solid guess that we will not get along on anime related topics. Can we be polite to eachother? Yes. Can I enjoy discussing anime with him/her? Yes. Could I enjoy discussing unrelated things with them? Yes. Does that mean I would expect us to become solid friends based entirely on our ability to give different views on anime? No, not really.
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Jun 16, 2012 6:32 PM

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This is because a friendship needs at least some basis to run on. Without it, it is likely to be rather boring personally.

Does anime need to be that basis or can something else provide the common ground?

If some other thing can serve as the basis for the friendship then could you agree on whatever that is, disagree on anime stuff, and still be friends?

 
Jun 16, 2012 7:27 PM
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Anime_Name said:
This is because a friendship needs at least some basis to run on. Without it, it is likely to be rather boring personally.

Does anime need to be that basis or can something else provide the common ground?

If some other thing can serve as the basis for the friendship then could you agree on whatever that is, disagree on anime stuff, and still be friends?


Yes, definitely. I just would not normally go to the effort to find such a thing on a site devoted entirely to anime. It is certainly possible, though.

(That said, I do not have many interests outside anime/books, so for me its really all down to the stories)
Worships Asparagus.
 
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