Story Idea: Outsiders should stay outside!
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Feb 14, 2012 3:46 PM
Okay, so i will just simply put my ideas here, so we can all discuss them and think if the story can be interesting and think of how the main characters are going to be and everything we can actually think of.
What do we know about Italy in these days (Let's say the 60's - 70's)? We know that the "Italian Mafia" are two very dangerous words. Normal people try to do normal things and not get involved in scary situations. On the other the hand - the so called Mafia is actually controlling everything behind the curtains and if anyone doesn't like that idea is being destroyed in seconds. You get the idea about Italy and the Mafia, but some outsiders from Japan come in a small town in Italy and start to act like they run the whole place (and if we look into the future of course that the strongest Mafia family should be in the Capital of the country and our guys are just not strong enough for the capital and that's why we put them in a small town with not that strong mafia families around them). Okey so it can be a shounen/gag story where the strong have some awesome abilities and can get stronger and on the other hand we have some funny moments (Like in Reborn). I hope you get my Idea about the Japanese outsiders coming in the uknown territory being cocky and stuff - not knowing about the really strong guys around. Those Japanese outsiders are certainly to be the main characters and they are like all the other Mafia families a family too.
What do you think of my idea , if someone likes it - help out, so we can turn in into even cooler story, cause I think it's not that bad.
Modified by Drunkendog, Apr 18, 2012 5:58 PM
Apr 14, 2012 2:53 PM
The story sounds pretty interesting. But, there must be some main story or something. I mean, they come to Italy and get involved with the Italian Mafia, but what then? Are they just going to fight and stuff or is there a plot? Maybe something that connects those people, like I don't know the leader of the strongest mafia in Italy is the brother of the Japanese guy, but he doesn't know it ... well, anyway don't listen to my stupid ideas, I would really like to help out but I don't know if I'm suited to do that. You know, I don't like messing with other people's ideas. It's hard for someone other to understand what you have in your head. Like I said, I would like to help out if I can. First question, is the story meant to be more funny or serious?
Apr 16, 2012 8:35 AM
Sammy, that's the thing - you must mess in my story, so we can all create something cool. I just posted the basic plot, from where we can all create the deep part of the story. And you gave all of us a very cool idea - it's cool to have a relative connection in the whole thing.
Our mafia family is going to be unique. I think it's going to be different and cool if our family was really just a family - A father, a mother, some brothers and sisters. And the relative connection can be with the father and the boss from one of the 5 strong mafia families (which will probably all be in the Capital) - they can be first cousins. And in time they can reunite and fight together the other 4 strong mafia families or something like that.
Apr 16, 2012 3:44 PM
I've been thinking about the fact that usually people think of the Mafia as something wrong, evil and stuff. How about that the Capital's Mafia ( the strongest one ) appears to be something that worries the government, police ... The Mafia might get into a fight with the government who will of course have trouble to find and catch their members because they are staying hidden and working behind the curtains. The government who wants them to disappear does everything to make the Mafia look bad in the eyes of the people and are telling them if they have any clues that they should tell them and that they will be awarded. Here you can of course show how corrupted the humanity became and how they would do anything to get money and power, even making innocent people responsible for the things the Mafia is doing. But the so called evil Mafia must not be what the government wants them to appear. What if there was some kind of fight in the Mafia. Something like I don't know, the guy who was the last leader had two sons, and both of them wanted to be the next leader. There is a fight and the lets say older brother, who was the first choice of the Mafia because he was wise and sent the younger brother away. Who was angry and stuff and he might become a part of the government and turned the government into some kind of a Mafia. Only that the people don't know about it. And they are planning to steal everything Italy has and leave ... I don't know ^-^" The Mafia suspected something so they were spying on them the whole time ... so the "evil" Mafia would end up being good in the end. I just have to think how to connect our guys with the whole story ...
This is just an idea that came to my mind and I'm not saying it's good. But I will always post something that comes to my mind.
Apr 17, 2012 12:53 AM
It is a good idea, cause I wanted the Mafia to be kind of good and now we have the government to be the bad guys. My idea was that the two brothers were both good friends, but things turned out that our guy got left in some other country and had to come to Italy when he was ready or strong enough - or something like that. And when our guy comes to Italy with his family, he fights his way to get to his brother which he loves, so they can reunite and be together forever :D. And here comes the bad government trying to make the Mafia as all - the bad guys and not letting our guys to reunite with the other family (his brother). And the battles can be between other mafia families or some strong groups from the government. I don't like the idea of our guy - Let us name him Yajuu (monster) and the family can be called Rakugosha (outcast) - being hated and stuff by his brother, they have to be best friends.
Apr 17, 2012 6:39 AM
There we go, the story is building up slowly :) I like it.
I just love how your brain works. Okay, so the government simply wants to remove the Mafia from the face of earth because they believe that they are something that might be in their way. I don't know, maybe the government set up some kind of rules that the people are accepting just because they are scared to do something against it, and our Mafia is the one who is brave enough to fight them. But, like I said ... the government will make them look like bad guys so that the people are more scared of the Mafia than anything else. "The Mafia is responsible for every bad that happens in Italy " <---- Government ^-^
Yajuu's brother might become the leader of the Capital's Mafia. So Yajuu, like you said after he got stronger, comes back to Italy and tries to find his brother. But, while trying to do that he gets into a fight with other families that are supporting his brother, thinking that he is someone who is trying to harm him or do something bad. Yajuu must be stronger of course, so the informations about an " Outsider " who came to Italy will soon reach his brother who will of course want to know who the person is. I'll try to think of a good reason why Yajuu left Italy, do you want him to leave just to become stronger or do you have something else on your mind?
Apr 17, 2012 2:21 PM
I'm gettig excited about this thing, cause of your brilliant ideas!
Well they were little kids when they were separated. In the past Yajuu was too wild to handle cause of his massive energy and his father send him away as a punishment into Japan (but still he loved him and so did Yajuu), so he could learn how to be a real Mafia leader one day - he basicly needed to grow up and had to learn to control his strenght. There he met his beautiful young wife and raised his two kids with her (a big brother and little sister), but it was time to show his relatives that he was ready to handle Italy and the Mafia with his brother. Of course he trained hard in Japan and his wife and kids were into the training as much as Yajuu was - it can be said that it was just in their blood (a crazy fighting family - seems legit). Our main character has to be in some point the strongest one, but he'll of course has to get through a lot of obstacles in the way. To get stronger and get ready for Italy, Yajuu fighted with his emotions in Japan, where he learned how to control himself and fight only when needed. It will be cool to make his training ground - his backyard (it would be really strange and cool to get strong enough to destroy everything in your way just from training at your house's backyard, ain't it?)
On the other hand, his brother (it's about time we give him a name too) Eigo (intelligent) was the opposite of Yajuu - he was calm and smart,but as strong as Yajuu (they were equal and both strong, but were masters at different fighting styles). Both of them were really sad that they had to be separated (as kids), but that motivated them to get stronger and destroy the Government's bad leaders one day - together (their father had told them about the bad government and they could have suffered because of them or smth.)
Modified by Drunkendog, Apr 18, 2012 6:06 PM
Apr 27, 2012 12:42 PM
My ideas aren't that great, it's just easier when more brains work on one thing ^^
What if Yajuu has hates his father a little because he had sent him away to Japan. They relationship might be distanced, but actually both, father and son care trully for each other. But, he still thinks it was unfair and that his father had no right to separate him and Eigo. I alway try to think of stories with great plot twists. It's always somewhat suprising to see that the characters who seem to be evil are the good ones. Remember, our Mafia has to look bad in the beginning of the story even to the watchers/ readers, because the Government wants so. Then again, I'm trying to think of a background story. What if there was a huge bank robbery in the past? The thieves have killed a lot of innocent people, while trying to get to the money in Italy's biggest bank. What if the Government was behind that robbery? They could've easy sent someone to get the money for them by promissing them that they'll be rewarded. Our Mafia must have a member that was a part of the Government, that's how they found out about the robbery. It's while Eigo's and Yajuu's father was the leader. He tried to stop the Government, because they trully cared about the people of Italy and had a hatred towards the Government and their unbelievable rules. One of them might be something like this: a famous killer ran away from the prison and got back home. The Government sent the police to find him at his family home, but everyone claimed that he wasn't even here. It must be someone who was actually innocent, but he couldn't prove that. The people of this small village protected him, because they knew that he's a nice person. Because of that, the Government thought of a rule to destroy the village : " The ones who have contact with those people, the ones who help them in anyway shall be punished ". So, he isolated this village, not allowing them to get any food or similar things that they need for living. One of the members of our Mafia, might be someone from that village who managed to get out and promised his people that they'll get revenge ( it could be even the guy that was the "killer" ). Because of that rule and similar, where they took everything away from the poor and used that to have a nice life, the Mafia wants to stop them at any cost. Because the bank robbery went wrong and the police appeared, it was easy to make the our Mafia responsible for the robbery, because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Our Mafia became now the main suspect - for the robbery and for the deaths of the people who were at that place. Of course, not all of the Mafia's member were at the bank, but the ones who were there, got caught by the police. Yajuu's father as the leader, just stayed quiet not telling the truth about the Government, because he would make everything much worse. There might be a person who worked in the prison as a guard or something who got really close to their father, begging him to tell the truth. He told about the Government and that guard promissed to take care of everything. But, what if that guard was someone who was on the Government's side, and was only supposed to find out how much they know. So he betrayed him and all of the caught Mafia members were sentenced to death. One of the Mafia members who were still out there, got through to the leader before his death. He wanted to plan how to save them, but the leader gave up, because there was no way to fight the Government, not here and not now. He told him that his older son, that would be Eigo is the next leader, and that he should take care of his other son. Jayuu might have someone in Japan, his grandparents or something and his father wanted to send him there, because he was worried about him. Jayuu always appeared to be strong, because he was energetic and stuff, but his father knew exactly that he was especially woundable, because of his energetic behaviour that always got him into trouble. So, he sent him to Japan, while he was still alive. The boy wanted to call his father and understand why he did that, but the Mafia members wouldn't allow that. They always said " Your father doesn't want to talk to you ", that's where his hatred came from. But, his father didn't want that he knows about his death and about the accident in the bank. Eigo found everything out, but too late. His father and the other member were already dead. He couldn't have helped them even if he wanted, since he didn't know anything before the deaths. He became the next leader and wanted to continue father's job and stop the Government. He was the youngest Mafia leader ever. Actually, mostly other people were leading the Mafia in his name, because he was too young. But, they found out soon, that the boy's really smart and that his tactics are on the same level as his father's, even if he was that young. The member of the Mafia who worked for the Government, could also betray them. The Government promissed him money to tell where the others from the Mafia are, because someone from the guys who were sentenced to death, said: " You can kill all of us, but let me tell you something, there are more of us out there, and they are just waiting for the moment to kick your ass! " xD something like that hahah ... so, the guy betrayed them for money, and they got to the hideout, and killed more of the members, but some of them survived. They built up the Mafia again, had risen above all other Mafias and are fighting to destroy the Government and bring back the justice and peace that was lost in Italy. That's where Jayuu comes to find his brother, but instead of that, he gets involved with the Mafia, finds out about his father's death and the manipulative Government and joins his brother to destroy them
OMG, sorry for the long post- that's just an idea, just tell me if you don't like it, I can think of something different.
Modified by TheAssassin, Apr 27, 2012 12:48 PM
Apr 27, 2012 1:58 PM
It is a wonderful idea for the actions in the story to take this course , Sammy - we shall stick with your plan and let me just sum things up. The twist is really good with the father and Yajuu.
I was thinking about the Mafia as all - Why is the Mafia bad - because the Government says so, because they blame them for every bad thing that has ever happend so far! The leader of the Mafia and the leader of the Government were really good friends long ago, but separated ways, and in future became sworn enemies. They hated each other so much, that when the leader became actually the Leader of the Government he made his friend in front of the ordinary people - a criminal and gangster, and most of all he made him in front of the world to be aleader of an evil organization - the Mafia. What I am saying is that , the Government's leader created the whole "Mafia" thing, he made them from just an ordinary group of people ( we shall think of what they were in future ), from an evil organization. Our leader (of the Mafia) was quiet about this thing and got used to it, becuase the ordinary people's minds were just in full trust of the Government. The only thing he wasn't quiet about was when his friends got harmed and got accused for lies! That was when he fought with all of his might, and basically that were the moments when they actually got in close contact (battling contact) with the Government. Of course they were hiding in secret.
Sammy please say what you think about my idea and if you like it, have it in mind and make your last post a little bit shorter ( sum it up I mean).Let us keep our posts shorter, so that it would easy for both of us to think, read and discuss :D (at least for me it's kinda hard). I'm really glad you're into the story and thanks for helping and discussing with me - I'm really having fun, have it in mind :) !
Apr 28, 2012 4:20 AM
Apr 30, 2012 1:19 PM
Stick with my plan?? Forget it! This is your story I am just writing down what comes to my mind. The story is going to be the way you want it to be. Who started the whole thing? I think, it is a person that you know really well xD We are just here to help you with the ideas, but it looks like you dont even need our help. Your ideas are always great. It would be pretty nice that the Government guy and our Mafia leader have known each other. Then we have to think about one important question, what happened that such good friends separated ways??
Like I said your ideas are always amazing, and I like it. Sorry really because of the long post I kind of got into the story xD Im that kind of person, who always writes down what comes to her mind. But, I will keep it shorter ^^ I also like working on the story with you, actually I have never tried before to work on a story with more people, it was a nice idea and it works <3
Yay, another person joins the discussion ! x3 Welcome XD
I also think the story is interesting, Drunkendog is the brain behind that story *.*
The story was supposed to be about the Mafia and we kind of added the Government. There must always be some bad guys, right? xD The main characters are the guys from the Mafia. Like I said, the Government is the evil one. For some reason( we are working on it ) our Mafia got into a fight with the Government and the Government is trying to make our Mafia the bad guys. To be honest, I also dont like too much action without a story, you know stuff like naruto, bleach ... Im not saying they are bad, just not my type of anime * cough* i used to be opsessed with naruto xD The flashback to past is a good idea, I would like it to be that way XD
Apr 30, 2012 1:28 PM
Apr 10, 2013 7:07 AM
Joined: Apr 2013
Guys, the story is amazing because there r so many choices! I also find it innovative cause its not like other mangas. The only thing that must be improved are the main characters. A good manga should have many different characters with different personalities so that the readers can relate to! I dont know :/ what do u think??
Apr 10, 2013 10:38 AM
Well they were little kids when they were separated. In the past Yajuu was too wild to handle cause of his massive energy and his father send him away as a punishment into Japan (but still he loved him and so did Yajuu), so he could learn how to be a real Mafia leader one day - he basicly needed to grow up and had to learn to control his strenght.
Our main character has to be in some point the strongest one, but he'll of course has to get through a lot of obstacles in the way. To get stronger and get ready for Italy, Yajuu fighted with his emotions in Japan, where he learned how to control himself and fight only when needed. It will be cool to make his training ground - his backyard (it would be really strange and cool to get strong enough to destroy everything in your way just from training at your house's backyard, ain't it?)
On the other hand, his brother (it's about time we give him a name too) Eigo (intelligent) was the opposite of Yajuu - he was calm and smart,but as strong as Yajuu (they were equal and both strong, but were masters at different fighting styles).
I guess the main characters have their basic personalities. We just have to work on them :) Basically we have a wild, uncontrolable person and his brother who is the opposite- calm, smart ...
But we need the supporting characters! Any ideas? :3
Apr 10, 2013 11:12 AM
May 5, 2013 7:18 PM