Guys, If your girlfriend or boyfriend has go abroad for 3 years, are you willing to wait for him or her?
| The man i love will be abroad at least 3 years... i have no idea that whether i should wait or not.... T-T |
| If it's military or humanitarian reasons just wait. |
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Hoppy said: If it's military or humanitarian reasons just wait. I agree with this, I would wait but I know some people wouldn't. |
| I think you should break it off just judging from my family's past experiance i.e dad etc w.e But if you think you can keep the fire lit more power to you. |
| Riveting is rosy, pockets full of posies, given to the mother of the deceased. Awaken at war, 'til I'm restin' in peace |
Hsin said: The man i love will be abroad at least 3 years... i have no idea that whether i should wait or not.... T-T Sounds like you don't love him at all. : / |
| I voted yes, but the answer to boil down to what you think. We do not even know all the details that you might know. (3+ years? Is there a better estimate?) You can always use 'rational thought' to evaluate, think, and weigh the choices. But as Persona 3 puts it "The silent voice within one's heart whispers the most profound wisdom." As for me, I would wait, though I'm not sure I would ever have such a significant person in my life. |
 「みんながいるからだ。」 － 棗鈴 |
Chavez said: Yeah if you really loved him you'd wait.Hsin said: The man i love will be abroad at least 3 years... i have no idea that whether i should wait or not.... T-T Sounds like you don't love him at all. : / |
| I hate you all. |
Chavez said: Hsin said: The man i love will be abroad at least 3 years... i have no idea that whether i should wait or not.... T-T Sounds like you don't love him at all. : / Well said. I personally think that people who use the word "love" to describe their feelings for someone, should be able to wait forever, and not just for mere 3 years. |
Chavez said: Aie, sucks to be him :<Hsin said: The man i love will be abroad at least 3 years... i have no idea that whether i should wait or not.... T-T Sounds like you don't love him at all. : / |
Nayah said: Chavez said: Aie, sucks to be him :<Hsin said: The man i love will be abroad at least 3 years... i have no idea that whether i should wait or not.... T-T Sounds like you don't love him at all. : / Couldn't have said it better. In WWII, men in the frontlines used to receive letters with rejection from unreliable women like OP. Generally, the victims turned out to be far less self preserving as their colleagues, and some even threw themselves in front of enemy fire. |
Hoppy said: If it's military or humanitarian reasons just wait. well... he go abroad for further study... |
| I would also just wait. Stay in contact and keep the relationship thriving. |
 Where there is no imagination there is no horror. || Arthur Conan Doyle || Happy Halloween! |
| If you love him, wait for him. Right? If you're having these doubts, I'm guessing you either haven't been with him long or you are really not (yet) serious with this person. Go with how you feel. But for me, I would wait for my boyfriend, no doubt or hesitated thoughts about it. Sure, I'd be lonely and miss him like crazy (what an understatement) but I won't get bored of waiting, or want someone else. I am extremely impatient and I'm sensitive to being away from him for too long but I'd wait for him because I love him. |
| 3 years? no thats a very long time. Time to move along and find someone else. The fact that you "don't know" already shows your feelings are not strong enough to make the situation work so just move on to another person. |
| Yes. Unless I wasn't in it for the long term then no way. |
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| Live your life however you desire while he's away and he does the same, if you still enjoy each other when he comes back get together, that's what I would do. |
| Honestly the fact you even had to ask a forum of strangers means that your answer is probably no and you're probably not all that serious about the relationship. Personally, I'd wait though. |
 Znips: When Shay is born she just crawls back in the womb to shitpost for another year |
Chavez said: Couldn't have said it better. In WWII, men in the frontlines used to receive letters with rejection from unreliable women like OP. Generally, the victims turned out to be far less self preserving as their colleagues, and some even threw themselves in front of enemy fire. That is so heartbreaking ... what kind of women would do that to their boyfriends/husbands who are putting their life on the line for not only their beloved but the entire country? Bitches, they ain't having fun doing that either. I learned something new and very depressing. Dear John Letters ... honestly. And yes, if you even have to THINK on this matter then you're better off breaking up. You don't love him. Don't use the word love. It's very strong. |
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| Get a man-friend that's out of town to keep you company without anyone local finding out and go with that until the dude gets back. Then if you still "love" him, you just have to hope he doesn't find out and possibly kill you and that guy or murder suicide, whatever. If you don't "love" him anymore, break it off and hope he doesn't kill you in a fiery rage exploding from his three years of celibacy. |
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Webeiss said: Get a man-friend that's out of town to keep you company without anyone local finding out and go with that until the dude gets back. Then if you still "love" him, you just have to hope he doesn't find out and possibly kill you and that guy or murder suicide, whatever. If you don't "love" him anymore, break it off and hope he doesn't kill you in a fiery rage exploding from his three years of celibacy. Hahahaha , so true . I agree with this guy's opinion |
| Is this something you should be asking MAL? This is a personal decision and you shouldn't let people online determine your choice on something like this. |
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| move with him |
| Because I'm part of the 80% on the internet who doesn't read what anyone else says, I don't know if this has been bought up yet, but, is he really going to wait for you for those 3 years? |
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| Depend how much you love him. |
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| Hell no. If he can't choose to stay with me then I won't choose to wait for him. |
| Just keep waiting and use the time productively. Surely, you don't really desperately need to hook up with someone for every stretch of time? Being separate leaves you free to focus on studies and whatnot too. And keep watch on Facebook, if you see him in compromising pictures with other ladies, inform him of the termination of your relationship and go out hunting for a more suitable candidate. |
dfsafsaf said: Hsin said: Hoppy said: If it's military or humanitarian reasons just wait. well... he go abroad for further study... Further study ? That means there will be girls about his age, but it also means, that he'll be come back a few times a year wont he ? Oh and one more thing, the whole thing "Will you wait?" I mean it depends will the one who went abroad will still love you as much and will or wont he find a new partner. he won't be back in 3 years. and we will have little time to communicate cuz the time differences （12 hours） 3 years is quite a long time. you never know what will happen in you love life |
HATCHA said: Just out of curiosity, how old are you two? It would be ratarded to wait wait for someone who you think you love, thats if you're like 14/15, and even if you say you'd wait for him and that you love him you'd have probably forgot about him in a few months. However I doubt thats the case here, as he's going abroad so I'm guessing it's something to do with work, but yeah on the off chance he's 14 or something and is going to study, silly thread really. I'm also puzzled to why you would ask this kind of advice to total strangers on a forum, instead of family and friends. For this reason alone, I thought you might be rather young, hence my 14/15 age group theory. EDIT: I AM GOD!1111!!1 you got the point. I'm 22 now and i will be 25 after 3 years. If I were 18 now, i would wait for him with out any hesitance . But the reality is i am not a teenager and many 25+ girls are got married in my country so many of my friends tell me not to wait . I know it's not wise to ask the silly question here but i am gonna be crazy and have no idea now. |
| I'd probably wait, but that's because I have no real interest in love, so to me - finding someone else would be too much of a hassle. |
Mr. Wonsworth, you may NOT eat my scones! |
iCab said: We need more info on your situation, age, how long you have been together. Things like that will help you get a more legitimate answer. HATCHA said: I'm also puzzled to why you would ask this kind of advice to total strangers on a forum, instead of family and friends. For this reason alone, I thought you might be rather young, hence my 14/15 age group theory. Not saying that I don't agree on the fact that maybe she should talk to a friend or family member, but sometimes is reassuring to hear things from total strangers. hehe, thanks for understanding. Just like what you said, i was confused after hearing my friends opinions so i turned to the strangers for help or some advisement. we've been together for 2 years but we were in different cities last year. So i've waited for him for 1 year, and after that, he told me that he gotta go for further study. That's really shock you know. He even didn't ask me to wait for him . It seems that he is not sure about the future neither. |
Kinoholic said: 3 years? no thats a very long time. Time to move along and find someone else. The fact that you "don't know" already shows your feelings are not strong enough to make the situation work so just move on to another person. yeah, i find that when i get older i have to consider more about the reality and more difficult to make the decision |
Hsin said: ...???....??? He even didn't ask me to wait for him . It seems that he is not sure about the future neither. Now that things are more further clarified, I have to change my answer for you: don't wait. It doesn't seem like he expects you to wait at all, perhaps he's not serious or not strong enough, and similarly it is unlikely you are. Of course, you can choose to wait, but only if you can somehow keep the relationship strong, which is difficult with a 12h time difference.(Morning here, night there; night there, morning here) The choice is yours, once you pick it, don't regret. |
「みんながいるからだ。」 － 棗鈴 |
Hsin said: But the reality is i am not a teenager and many 25+ girls are got married in my country so many of my friends tell me not to wait . It sounds like you want to rush things, be it because of peer pressure or something else. Having a boyfriend just for the sake of it seems so.. weird. |
| Mr. Wonsworth, you may NOT eat my scones! |
AnnoKano said: Reading through these comments makes one thing alarmingly clear: no-one here except the OP has actually been faced with the prospect of seperating from their loved one on a long term basis. The OP has asked a perfectly legitimate question, and its one thats not quite as easy to answer as some of you would like to believe. While saying you'll wait without having to think about it might seem noble or romantic, it's also rather naiive. Three years is a long time; since your boyfriend is going to be studying abroad, I assume you're in your late teens or early twenties. Think back to what you were like three years ago, and how much you've changed since then. And keep in mind that your boyfriend might change in three years to; in fact, being exposed to a foreign culture and the experience of University will no doubt have some impact on him as a person. Being seperated for such a long time will undoubtedly be difficult at times. It's possible that you won't be able to take it any more and will break up. If that happens after two years or so, it will have all been for nothing. And keep in mind that even if it doesn't happen to you, it could still happen to your boyfriend. Most of the responses here seem to be focusing on you as an individual; but there are two people in a relationship and both of them have the power to break it. How your boyfriend feels is just as important as how you feel, and it will have as big an impact on how you feel. At the end of the day, you should do what makes you happy, and hope that your boyfriend will also be happy. Perhaps you could keep in touch and maybe see how you feel once he returns. Whatever you do, don't feel pressured by these hopeless romantics that seem to believe that your situation exists in black and white. you are right, i am early 20s so it's time to consider more about the reality rather than the romantic. And we've been seperated for a year cuz we are in different cities . I choose to wait that time because of his word--- "trust me" . But this time, he said "i won't force you to wait . just do what you want". That pretty confused me. In fact, if he let me to trust him and wait him,maybe i will wait . But his response makes me wonder whether he love me or not. because what he said shows he's uncertain about the future. It seems that he's not sure whether he will move to other girl in this 3 years. |
| I'd know if I'd wait if I loved her. Heck, I'd just go with her, fuck that. |
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| yes, the anime Seiren taught me that she'll come back |
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