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May 10, 9:35 PM
#1
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Feb 2023
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I wrote this as humor, not based on my opinion. What do you guys think. What can be added, improved, or deleted? Do you fit into one of the categories.

1. The Mods — The Hidden Elders

They don’t speak.
They don’t post.
They simply are.

Legend says they once walked among us, before they ascended to the Control Panel Realm, where they feast on reports and sustain themselves by deleting duplicate threads about the Chainsaw Man release date.

I once messaged one.
He replied, “Please stop tagging me in your fan art of Gendo Ikari as a VTuber.”
I framed the message.

2. The Ancient Ones

They’ve been here since the forum used dial-up. Their usernames are pure, primal things like “Kenshin” or “AnimeFan.” No numbers. No underscores. Just raw authority.

They wear avatars of pixelated 90s waifus and speak only in references to Trigun and Escaflowne.
One of them called me “newblood” and I wept for four hours, then rewatched Clannad for emotional recalibration.

3. The Power Posters

They type like their keyboards owe them money. Ten thousand posts. Half of them are quote-replies. The other half are arguments about One Piece power scaling.
You challenge them at your peril. They’ll bring citations, obscure screenshots, and a memory of plot points you’d need a third eye to retain.

One of them told me my Bleach tier list was “objectively criminal.”
I haven’t logged out since.

4. The Shippers

They live in a lawless realm of war, passion, and aggressively color-coded infographics.
They speak only in OTP acronyms and battle like gladiators.
"Canon means nothing to us," one whispered before setting the Attack on Titan thread on fire.

They once made a 600-post debate about whether two side characters who shared three seconds of screentime were soulmates.
Spoiler: One of them died mid-season.
Spoiler 2: The thread is still active.

5. The Meme Gremlins

You don’t see them coming. One minute it’s a serious debate about the decline of animation quality post-2013.
The next? It’s Kermit the Frog photoshopped into the Death Note OP.
Their power is chaotic. Their humor is unexplainable.
They follow no genre conventions.
They are comedy isekai.

6. The Shitposters – Trickster Demons of the Internet (updated entry)

Different from Meme Gremlins. More dangerous. More unhinged.
Shitposters are the forum's parasites and its immune system.
They will reply to a philosophical breakdown of Serial Experiments Lain with “your waifu has no toes” and a distorted PNG of Pikachu.
You will laugh. You will cry.
Then you will question your own humanity.

7. The Completionists — Watchers of All Things, Sufferers of Mediocrity (updated entry)

They have seen everything. No, really. Everything.
From mainstream hits to seasonal garbage, from slice-of-life fishing anime to the weird 3D CGI web series with a $12 budget.
They don’t stop. They can’t stop. Their Plan-to-Watch list has no end, only new entries.

You mention an anime, they’ve seen it.
You mention a sequel, they’re already watching it.
You mention a trailer, and they’ve pre-scored it a 6.5/10.
Their mantra:

“I can’t judge it unless I finish it.”
Even when it's objectively awful.

They don’t watch for fun anymore. This is about completion. A Sisyphean quest. A Pokémon Trainer, but cursed. Their Crunchyroll queue is a graveyard. And they will never be free.

8. The Casual Enthusiasts — Normie Sages of Balance(updated entry)

They watch anime because it’s fun. Disgusting. Refreshing.
They don't care about power scaling, waifu wars, or production drama.
They'll call One Piece “too long” without flinching.
They are immune to gatekeeping.
While the rest of us spiral into 10,000-word rants, they simply say:

“It was good. 8/10.”
And go touch grass.
In truth, they are the final boss of emotional stability.

9. The Spammers – Malware in Human Form (updated entry)

They are not of us.
They are bots.
They are accounts with no posts for 5 years that suddenly awaken to post 12 links to "Crunchyroll Premium Free Anime Girlfriend Generator 2025."
Their avatars are all cropped JPGs of vaguely Eastern European influencers and their bios say, “I love Anime and Investment.”
Mods fight them like demon slayers in a 24/7 endless purge.
Sometimes the bots win. Sometimes… the bots become mods.

10. The Newbies

Fresh from Reddit. Innocent. Hopeful.
They post threads like “Any good anime to start with?” or “Why does everyone hate Sakura?”
They are met with either helpful links… or twenty GIFs of screaming JoJo characters and a soft “read the manga.”

They will either evolve into bitter lore archivists like me, or disappear into the void like a side character with no backstory.

11. The Lurkers

My people.
We do not post.
We observe.
We collect memes like relics. We know everything. We say nothing.
Some call us cowards. I call us the silent majority of judgment.

I once typed out a 400-word response about Re:Zero’s emotional themes, but before I hit submit… I deleted it, exhaled, and whispered,
“Not today.”

Epilogue:

The forum isn’t just a community. It’s a battlefield. A slice-of-life series with horror pacing. A romantic comedy built on despair.

But it’s my home.
My cursed, GIF-infested, flamewar-scarred home.
And as long as I breathe, and my Crunchyroll subscription renews… I will protect it.
Even if no one upvotes me.
Even if Yume-chan isn’t real.

Especially if she isn’t real.
FollowkataMay 13, 8:09 PM
Pages (2) [1] 2 »
May 10, 9:45 PM
#2

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Sep 2018
13260
So you found out the secret of our mal forum power posters!?
May 10, 9:45 PM
#3
🍅 Tomato 🍅

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Feb 2020
115967
Pretty good one. Kinda accurate, hehe.

Good job, buddy.
May 10, 9:50 PM
#4
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to rohan121
So you found out the secret of our mal forum power posters!?
@rohan121 lol and here I am the lurker who doesn't even know how to upload a gif haha.
May 10, 9:52 PM
#5

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Sep 2018
13260
Reply to Followkata
@rohan121 lol and here I am the lurker who doesn't even know how to upload a gif haha.
@Followkata
To make it easy you just need to click on the square image option and and paste a url (of the source gif) then click insert.
May 10, 10:07 PM
#6

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Jul 2021
2736
Lmao great post! Kind of accurate I think! I'd say im quite the lurker here but I do post sometimes. And I remember seeing few self proclaimed edgelord in the forums wonder where they are now
May 10, 10:17 PM
#7
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to rohan121
@Followkata
To make it easy you just need to click on the square image option and and paste a url (of the source gif) then click insert.
@rohan121

Well you know what they say if you don't know now you know. Thank you appreciated
May 10, 10:19 PM
#8
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to Barrycade
Lmao great post! Kind of accurate I think! I'd say im quite the lurker here but I do post sometimes. And I remember seeing few self proclaimed edgelord in the forums wonder where they are now
@Barrycade haha I'm more of lurker too I've only been active recently, so far I've yet to see them or the ancient ones lol
May 10, 10:20 PM
#9

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Jan 2013
2235
Doin' your mom

AIKATSUniggggaaaaaa
May 10, 10:21 PM

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Jul 2021
1119
LoL, what really even is this post 😭
Plus you're missing the spammers.
May 10, 10:21 PM
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to Chandela
Doin' your mom

AIKATSUniggggaaaaaa
@Chandela threesome I like it. Shotgun anal. Let's make it an orgy add my grandma too
May 10, 10:23 PM
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to Cestlavie_
LoL, what really even is this post 😭
Plus you're missing the spammers.
@Cestlavie_ it's just a comedic take on forum hierarchy, light hearted comedy. Yes spammers and trolls your quite right
May 10, 10:48 PM

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Sep 2022
905
MEME GREMLINS, OUR TIME IS NOW! SEIZE THE MODS, AND TYPE RIP ON THE PROFILES OF FALLEN ELDERS!!! o7

I'm the sonny boy ( ̄y▽, ̄)╭
May 11, 5:35 AM

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May 2019
9604
Pretty cool classification ranks.
May 11, 6:01 AM

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Sep 2016
17516
I'm a power poster, so 3rd in the hierarchy.
May 11, 6:14 AM

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Jun 2017
610
I guess shitposters are so low we don't get a spot in the hierarchy.
May 11, 8:36 AM

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Jun 2019
211
This made me crack up

Anyways:
May 11, 8:40 AM

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Jul 2017
1076
which one am I? I don't see a tier for waifu/husbando posters XD
[​🇮​❜​🇲​ ​🇦​ ​🇵​​🇷​​🇴​​🇫​​🇪​​🇸​​🇸​​🇮​​🇴​​🇳​​🇦​​🇱​ ​🇭​​🇺​​🇸​​🇧​​🇦​​🇳​​🇩​​🇴​ ​🇨​​🇴​​🇱​​🇱​​🇪​​🇨​​🇹​​🇴​​🇷​]

May 11, 8:45 AM

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Sep 2016
17516
Szczelajo said:
which one am I? I don't see a tier for waifu/husbando posters XD

If you ship your husbandos, then maybe 4.
May 11, 8:58 AM

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Jul 2017
1076
Reply to Zarutaku
Szczelajo said:
which one am I? I don't see a tier for waifu/husbando posters XD

If you ship your husbandos, then maybe 4.
@Zarutaku well not really. I don't ship them together - just with myself.

But I guess I can be a shipper, as I like many, many ships [just not yaoi ones]. I just rarely mention it in the forums, so I didn't count on that.

but let it be. I can the 4th one :D
[​🇮​❜​🇲​ ​🇦​ ​🇵​​🇷​​🇴​​🇫​​🇪​​🇸​​🇸​​🇮​​🇴​​🇳​​🇦​​🇱​ ​🇭​​🇺​​🇸​​🇧​​🇦​​🇳​​🇩​​🇴​ ​🇨​​🇴​​🇱​​🇱​​🇪​​🇨​​🇹​​🇴​​🇷​]

May 11, 9:15 AM
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Mar 2017
355
Me who is a shipper , if I don’t find anyone to ship I will ship people from different shows lol
May 11, 9:25 AM
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Jan 2025
602
Followkata said:
. The Ancient Ones

They’ve been here since the forum used dial-up. Their usernames are pure, primal things like “Kenshin” or “AnimeFan.” No numbers. No underscores. Just raw authority.

They wear avatars of pixelated 90s waifus and speak only in references to Trigun and Escaflowne.
One of them called me “newblood” and I wept for four hours, then rewatched Clannad for emotional recalibration.


Does Battle Arena Toshinden count? (I do enjoy my Hokuto No Ken, but I don't pull that out unless it really warrants using.)
HokutoMumyoZanMay 11, 9:39 AM
May 11, 1:43 PM
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to HokutoMumyoZan
Followkata said:
. The Ancient Ones

They’ve been here since the forum used dial-up. Their usernames are pure, primal things like “Kenshin” or “AnimeFan.” No numbers. No underscores. Just raw authority.

They wear avatars of pixelated 90s waifus and speak only in references to Trigun and Escaflowne.
One of them called me “newblood” and I wept for four hours, then rewatched Clannad for emotional recalibration.


Does Battle Arena Toshinden count? (I do enjoy my Hokuto No Ken, but I don't pull that out unless it really warrants using.)
@HokutoMumyoZan yes it would count but only if your name was just Ken or Hokuto haha
May 11, 1:43 PM
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to Komitoza
I guess shitposters are so low we don't get a spot in the hierarchy.
@Komitoza everyone gets a spot I will update
May 11, 1:44 PM

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Aug 2013
1540
Meme Gremlin FTW lol

If I need a new username, dips on Meme Gremlin.
Kingdom Come Deliverance II GOTY 2025

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 is another worthy GOTY contender I tip my fedora to Sandfall Interactive, excellent debut gentlemen!

If digital buying isn't owning, then piracy isn't stealing
May 11, 2:18 PM

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Dec 2022
117
This is excellent, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
May 11, 2:21 PM
lagom
Online
Jan 2009
105054
so im an ancient one now huh well im a 1990s kid anyway
May 11, 2:23 PM
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Jan 2025
602
Reply to Followkata
@HokutoMumyoZan yes it would count but only if your name was just Ken or Hokuto haha
@Followkata Oh, I wasn't clear on my question. I was talking about references to other series as well.

You've clearly not watched Hokuto no Ken, but that's just a causal observation :3 My username comes from the Hokuto Shinken style naming conventions for attacks, and it also appears that the omen of "Where Hokuto appears, chaos shall follow" also is carried along, but that just seems natural in my life as well. Pretty befitting....

It doesn't hurt to have a masked powerlevel either.
May 11, 2:53 PM
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to HokutoMumyoZan
@Followkata Oh, I wasn't clear on my question. I was talking about references to other series as well.

You've clearly not watched Hokuto no Ken, but that's just a causal observation :3 My username comes from the Hokuto Shinken style naming conventions for attacks, and it also appears that the omen of "Where Hokuto appears, chaos shall follow" also is carried along, but that just seems natural in my life as well. Pretty befitting....

It doesn't hurt to have a masked powerlevel either.
@HokutoMumyoZan I watched Hokuto no ken as a child in Japan. I know what the words mean as I'm japanese, speak it, read it , write it, it's my first language. I actually think I have the original VHS buried somewhere at my mothers place.

I was referencing my post where the ancient ones in this forum only have names like Kenshin or animefan no underscores, or anything.

I was answering yes to the Battlestar Arena Tonshinden part, which I actually haven't seen and had to look up, found out it was a videogame and then remembered seeing this selling at videogame stores....you made 2 throwbacks to my childhood and So I guess you would be an ancient one lol....and now everyone knows I'm ancient
FollowkataMay 11, 2:58 PM
May 11, 3:04 PM
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Jan 2025
602
Reply to Followkata
@HokutoMumyoZan I watched Hokuto no ken as a child in Japan. I know what the words mean as I'm japanese, speak it, read it , write it, it's my first language. I actually think I have the original VHS buried somewhere at my mothers place.

I was referencing my post where the ancient ones in this forum only have names like Kenshin or animefan no underscores, or anything.

I was answering yes to the Battlestar Arena Tonshinden part, which I actually haven't seen and had to look up, found out it was a videogame and then remembered seeing this selling at videogame stores....you made 2 throwbacks to my childhood and So I guess you would be an ancient one lol....and now everyone knows I'm ancient
@Followkata Apologies! I didn't know! That's really cool! Now everyone knows we're ancient too, lol.
May 11, 3:04 PM

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May 2024
120
Power posters huh
That's a good term for people who get too passionate on here for things that don't really matter
I'm new!
May 11, 3:06 PM
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to deg
so im an ancient one now huh well im a 1990s kid anyway
@deg I haven't been active on here long, back when I had my old account I remember seeing 3 letters sometimes but since I've comeback you are the first.

I feel like I just witnessed the resurrection of Christ lol
May 11, 3:09 PM

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Oct 2015
6457
Is Auron a raw enough username?

I did actually have an underscore, but you can claim usernames of the long-enough inactive users.
May 11, 4:07 PM
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to Auron
Is Auron a raw enough username?

I did actually have an underscore, but you can claim usernames of the long-enough inactive users.
@Auron lol it's not for me to say. For me Auron is Final Fantasy X, does that mean ancient, that's really a matter of perception.

But yea you can definitely count as one plus your profile is older than some of the users of Mal!
May 11, 4:24 PM
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Nov 2017
1077
Number 6 gang rise up.

Also, nice cock bro
May 11, 4:41 PM

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Nov 2024
1159
I don't know my catagory I don't what the AD sees me?
May 11, 4:42 PM

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Jan 2010
1869
man... that was so much fun to read.

as a former lurker I get it but sometimes you just reach the light like it or not.
May 11, 6:29 PM

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May 2014
1507
That hierarchy is so fun.

Followkata said:
One of them called me “newblood” and I wept for four hours, then rewatched Clannad for emotional recalibration.


Good to know in case you meet one. Clannad's been in my PTW forever (so over 10 years). Might be the right time to start it when I weep all the tears from my body.

I think some of the legends have left us, sadly. Maybe some are bound to return one day, who knows?
There is only one truth in this world
かわいいは正義

Also, robots are your friends
✿❀(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.゚⋆˚✿˖°

Check our anime affinity, Senpai!
Fellow cute girl lovers FR accepted.
Watch NGNL, ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ you bastard~~desu
Yuri is life. Now, break a sweat.
★May the stars shine upon you.★
May 11, 7:05 PM

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Sep 2013
454
I like your username, Followkata-san. lol
May 11, 7:07 PM
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to Eldinis
That hierarchy is so fun.

Followkata said:
One of them called me “newblood” and I wept for four hours, then rewatched Clannad for emotional recalibration.


Good to know in case you meet one. Clannad's been in my PTW forever (so over 10 years). Might be the right time to start it when I weep all the tears from my body.

I think some of the legends have left us, sadly. Maybe some are bound to return one day, who knows?
@Eldinis I mention Clannad sort of like a joke but I've probably watched Clannad and after story twice, last time being around 10 years ago. My honest opinion in a few words would be a slow healing start then utter devastation...it was super depressing. Exactly as you stated lol wipe all the tears from your body!

I recommend it if you're into deep emotional pulls but the me now, i'd probably go for something like a Your lie in April instead, healing, depressing, but with a light hearted touch. Although I'm guessing most people have seen it.

The legends, I don't see them at all, when I had my old account in 2011 I would see them occasionally. The forum has changed so much since then, after 12 years away from it I feel like a dinosaur lol.
FollowkataMay 11, 7:24 PM
May 11, 7:28 PM
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to Geark77
I like your username, Followkata-san. lol
@Geark77 thank you, it's straight from Gintama, the alter ego nerd of Hijikata Toshirou but yea if you understand the name it could also mean something along the lines of Mr follow lol.
May 11, 8:12 PM
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Jul 2024
3528
Well, I am objectively a primal being in Cyberspace, being older than most of you so I guess I fit into that category. Though not here, just out there, & on many sites. ROFLMAO
May 11, 11:20 PM

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Jun 2017
610
Reply to Followkata
@Komitoza everyone gets a spot I will update
@Followkata I was just memeing but damn nice post fr fr
May 11, 11:29 PM
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Mar 2025
146
The ancient ones have avatars from the 90's ? how you would call someone that caught astroboy on TV ?

The notion that all new users are from reddit comes from a very specific place , i wonder how many times i have argued with OP under anonymity.
May 11, 11:50 PM

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Mar 2021
420
Truly one of the posts of all time...
★・・・・・・★
If you wish to treat this incident as our nation’s scheme, that is fine by me. History is written by the victors. All of your false accusations will soon be erased.
★・・・・・・★

May 12, 12:30 AM
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Feb 2023
78
Reply to Asangbanne
The ancient ones have avatars from the 90's ? how you would call someone that caught astroboy on TV ?

The notion that all new users are from reddit comes from a very specific place , i wonder how many times i have argued with OP under anonymity.
@Asangbanne a forgotten one maybe lol or in layman's terms a senior citizen literally. We are talking almost WW2 era now. Astroboy was made before Mal or the internet existed. This is a comedic post not to be taken seriously.

Oh no, I’ve been caught! You’ve cracked the case, Detective MALuser. I am Reddit. Every new account? Me. Every 'mid' take? Me again. Arguing with you anonymously is just how I level up my karma. This is my ultimate side quest. Now quick, before someone notices—what’s your MAL score for air conditioners?"

P.S. I actually came from a Google search. Reddit wouldn’t let me in. Said my takes were too lukewarm.
May 12, 1:48 AM

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Dec 2015
9224
1. They actually posts, but you'd need to be lurking enough through forums to notice it and I don't mean here "Thread locked cause of xyz violation"

Where are my people at? The regulars, the debaters, the discussors or however it would be called.
May 12, 8:24 AM

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Jan 2013
257
My soul is of a shipper but I don't have enough opportunities to show it off here.

Followkata said:
"Canon means nothing to us," one whispered
That's what fanfic is for.

Yonahim_Zz said:
Me who is a shipper , if I don’t find anyone to ship I will ship people from different shows lol
I admire that creativity lol. I usually only go until rare pair territory by myself.
May 12, 9:05 AM

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Jun 2017
610
Reply to BirdyTheMighty
Number 6 gang rise up.

Also, nice cock bro
@BirdyTheMighty Raise ur dongs for the cause brothers.
May 12, 9:10 AM

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Jul 2024
893
Dude that was too funny. Spot fucking on. Don't touch a hair on it! Or I will send hordes of One Piece junkies to your house to hold you down and force you to watch all 1 billion (or however many there are now) episodes consecutively.
Pages (2) [1] 2 »

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