Introducing "The Wanderblood Princess and Sir Try Hard" | a new webnovel

O_T_T said:
If you feel it's finished there's no real point commenting on what can be improved, but I have some notes.

Going mainly off of the first few chapters:

• There's a trend of awkward synonyms, such as the cliché of eyes described as gemstones.
  
• The use of real-world terms like Darjeeling, Poker and Cognac doesn't mesh with the fantasy this appears to be set in.
  
• There are a few moments where it seems to dip into the format of "she looked at this - description - then her gaze turned to this - description - etc," in chapter 2 especially.
  
• On a similar note, her name, and that of others, gets used in narration a little too much, almost every other paragraph.
  
• There's a rather awkward info dump explaining the climax in the final chapter.
  
• The use of "Try Hard" as a recurring phrase never really gets off the ground, so much so that ending with it just seems weird.
  
• It also feels awfully confined, in that everything revolves around the protagonist and her requiring a suitor.
  

For what it's worth though, I can commend having a plot that goes beyond just the romance, which is a credit, and a clear change in state from the start to the end. I'd give it a 6.