Forum Settings
Forums
Pages (2) [1] 2 »
Post New Reply
#1
Apr 13, 2010 11:27 AM

Offline
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 137
i love to hear funny comebacks and/or jokes, and im liking the 'roses are red, violets are bue...' quote things atm lol. i'd like to hear your most funniest comebacks or jokes =)
 
#2
Apr 13, 2010 12:07 PM

Offline
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2535
um lets see this thread sucks more then you no jk playing or am i?
 
#3
Apr 13, 2010 12:08 PM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 342
I have 2 fists and I know how to use them.
No matter how good you are at something,
there's always about a million people better than you.
 
#4
Apr 13, 2010 12:16 PM

Offline
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1392
Roses are red, violets are blue,
f*ck you.

That's the best I've got atm.

 
#5
Apr 13, 2010 12:20 PM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 89
corbenic said:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
f*ck you.

That's the best I've got atm.
corbenic said:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
f*ck you.

That's the best I've got atm.


Probably the best one yet :D
 
#6
Apr 13, 2010 12:22 PM
Offline
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2801
"Roses are red, violets are blue,
CHICKEN is greasy like me and you."

A friend wrote that in my birthday card last year, funny how she did it due to me being vegetarian.

I have no jokes. Because I fail.
 
#7
Apr 13, 2010 12:22 PM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 8337
modafocka u attack hard but iAttack harder and cyberkill u wahahahahaa ringos

 
#8
Apr 13, 2010 12:27 PM
Offline
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 58
 
#9
Apr 13, 2010 2:42 PM

Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2028


Fairly Australian humour but yeahs.
LOL

This is generally the stereotyped Lebanese or "Lebo" in my area (south western sydney)

"Your mum"
"MY MUM DEAD"

"WHAT A HEAD!"
 
Apr 13, 2010 3:17 PM

Offline
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 367
i find it hilarious when you just pull a mega gay comment on someone (really only works for when person a is a man and so is person b) if instead of using the now overly used "your mother _____" insert vulgure remark you use "your father" people become both disgusted and confused. the comments afterwords just make me lol so hard (works the best online, in person you look.... well im sure you can guess)
 
Apr 13, 2010 3:17 PM

Offline
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 2030
ur mom
 
Apr 13, 2010 4:28 PM

Offline
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 267
roses are red, violets are blue, go back to hell and take your account with you
 
Apr 13, 2010 5:35 PM

Offline
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 1986
This reminds me of a friend of mine who told another friend of mine "I love you, man" followed by "Let's have lunch together". Of course, both of them are male and neither of them realized the awkwardness of their conversation.
A past can last a lifetime.
How to Read Manga! | AnimeBytes | iMangaScans
 
Apr 13, 2010 5:37 PM

Offline
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 2123
Cool story, Jeopardy! teen.
And the dude from The Lake House is all "WHOA!"
 
Apr 13, 2010 5:54 PM

Offline
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1795
i love you.

works like a charm.
 
Apr 15, 2010 6:14 AM
(ノ≧∀≦)ノ━━━★

Offline
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 5035
Name could be a phrase or another word. Eg : Bill Board, Carrie Oke, Justin Case.
 
Apr 15, 2010 8:25 PM

Offline
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 40
"That's great."


 
Apr 15, 2010 9:38 PM

Offline
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 80
my favorite right now is when a friend will say something like "this sucks" or "you suck" , ill say " you know what else sucks?... my mouth on your dick!" i say it in a way that sounds like im trying to insult someone. then everyone gets confused.

also if someone says "suck it" i respond "i'm trying, but it's so hard". gotta make it sound as dirty as possible though.
Modified by ellowel, Feb 12, 2011 1:19 AM
 
Apr 16, 2010 2:07 AM
Offline
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 806
your mother is like a vacume cleaner...
she blows, sucks, then gets laid in the closet... :P
 
Apr 16, 2010 2:19 AM
Manga Moderator
Keyblade

Offline
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 18141
It takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap the motherfucker that pissed you off lol.
 
Apr 16, 2010 2:26 AM

Offline
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 959
georgi said:
This reminds me of a friend of mine who told another friend of mine "I love you, man" followed by "Let's have lunch together". Of course, both of them are male and neither of them realized the awkwardness of their conversation.

This was funny one.
The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name. The nameless is the beginning of heaven and Earth. The named is the mother of the ten thousand things.
I do not recall, Jesus ever saying "build churches, temples, and kill those who doesn't follow christianity..." nor he said "christianity is religion".
News for VN immigrants in EU: vietinfo.eu

 
Apr 16, 2010 3:01 AM

Offline
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1579
denan27 said:


Fairly Australian humour but yeahs.
LOL

This is generally the stereotyped Lebanese or "Lebo" in my area (south western sydney)

"Your mum"
"MY MUM DEAD"

"WHAT A HEAD!"


hahahahahahahahahah

laughed so much at this.
 
Apr 16, 2010 9:31 AM
Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 12
TheFallenOne said:
It takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap the motherfucker that pissed you off lol.

awesome
Me: Hey guys, guess what...*gives the finger*
Up your butt...


Sometimes I just feel like,
Quittin', I still might,
Why do I put up this fight,
Why do I still write?
 
Apr 16, 2010 9:35 AM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 10887
One time hilarious til I cry jokes isn't going to be funny when posted since it doesn't fit the situation.
 
Apr 29, 2010 3:08 PM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 56
Best one to date

Your mom's a tutorial!

followed by

Girlfriend: I'm sorry dear that I don't have a penis
"Boyfriend rests hand on girlfriends shoulder in comfort"
Boyfriend: Nobody is perfect
 
Apr 29, 2010 4:18 PM

Offline
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 994
That's what she said.
 
Apr 29, 2010 7:16 PM

Offline
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 383
YOUR MOM...
"I've read so much manga that at times my mind works in comic panels and dramatically expressed chibis. I'm both ashamed and amused by this."


 
Apr 29, 2010 7:20 PM

Offline
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 462
Think about this: You'r mum sucked your dads cock once before she kissed you good night
 
Apr 29, 2010 7:34 PM
Offline
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 1648
haha this threa shut the fuck up
 
Apr 29, 2010 7:40 PM

Offline
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 129
 
Apr 29, 2010 8:03 PM

Offline
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 76
Jesus christ guys, these are awful. Even a Muslim fundamentalist wouldn't be offended by these stupid ass insults/ comebacks


legum servi sumus ut liberi esse possimus
 
May 1, 2010 7:30 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 589
During a science experiment where we had to get this little bowl of melted sugar from that fire-thing, my classmate was such didn't wanna do it so he was like, "Hey why don't you do it your a lesbian bitch, so you must be better at doing it." Then half the class was like, "Ohhh!" Then I said, "Fine, but it's not my fault you're such a pussy." Then the whole class was like, "YOU GOT OWNED DUDE!"

Then my classmate said to me this other time, "You're not a girl, you're a boy!! Go into the BOYS bathroom!" So I said, "Well at least I HAVE a gender, unlike a certain hermaphrodite which will remain unnamed." staring at the guy who told me that.

God, I love messing with morons.
 
May 1, 2010 8:03 AM

Offline
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2818
Eh.. well my brother was joking around with our mom saying stuff about midlife crisis.
I came up and said "she already had her midlife crisis when you were born".


I felt good after saying that since i don't think of very many good comebacks xD
 
May 1, 2010 9:07 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 589
Onegai said:
Think about this: You'r mum sucked your dads cock once before she kissed you good night

.......AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I GET NOW!! I'm so fucking smart
 
May 1, 2010 12:55 PM

Offline
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 45
shotacon said:
During a science experiment where we had to get this little bowl of melted sugar from that fire-thing, my classmate was such didn't wanna do it so he was like, "Hey why don't you do it your a lesbian bitch, so you must be better at doing it." Then half the class was like, "Ohhh!" Then I said, "Fine, but it's not my fault you're such a pussy." Then the whole class was like, "YOU GOT OWNED DUDE!"

Then my classmate said to me this other time, "You're not a girl, you're a boy!! Go into the BOYS bathroom!" So I said, "Well at least I HAVE a gender, unlike a certain hermaphrodite which will remain unnamed." staring at the guy who told me that.

God, I love messing with morons.

Wait. Are you trying to be ironic?
 
May 2, 2010 1:20 PM

Offline
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 285
Roses are red, Violets are black

Why is your chest as flat as your back?
 
May 2, 2010 1:24 PM

Offline
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 285
*double post*
Modified by Arcan, May 2, 2010 1:33 PM
 
May 2, 2010 1:26 PM

Offline
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 980
And I'm the Pope.

 
May 2, 2010 1:30 PM

Offline
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 101
No u.

Most uncreative and annoying, yet effective comeback ever created.
 
May 2, 2010 1:34 PM

Offline
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 285
milkis13 (65.8%) said:
No u.

Most uncreative and annoying, yet effective comeback ever created.


try: "why?"
 
May 2, 2010 2:40 PM

Offline
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 10887
Arcan said:
Roses are red, Violets are black

Why is your chest as flat as your back?
You know you can delete your double post rather than edit it, right?
 
May 2, 2010 4:42 PM

Offline
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 542
A joke and comeback all depends on the situation.

One of my better ones was when a substitute yelled at a girl who was eating a pixie stick for eating in the beginning of class. She got all wtf and it was quiet and I said in an even, not loud, not quiet, clear voice "Sinner."

While the class was in hysterics, the teacher didn't prod any further.

But I don't really go out of my way to insult people and restrain my insults too much for them to be that bad, though I have said things which weren't mean in itself but were pretty awful. But it boils down to the situation so I don't have any generic ones other than "Shut up. You sound stupid when you talk."
That and "Cry me a river, build a bridge, and for the love of God, jump off of it and just die." But I never actually used that one. Yet. It sounds too childish for me to use, but as an e-card, it might work.
 
May 2, 2010 5:28 PM
Offline
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 387
People get mad when I repeat "I'd agree with you if you knew what you were talking about..." over and over again. It's a 2nd grade response, but hardly anybody can force a different one out of me.
 
May 3, 2010 3:33 AM

Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2028
kitkatbar said:
Jesus christ guys, these are awful. Even a Muslim fundamentalist wouldn't be offended by these stupid ass insults/ comebacks


If we could crack racist/religion based jokes we'd all be laughing but here we can't
ROFL.

I got like 10 in my head right now =="

milkis13 said:
No u.

Most uncreative and annoying, yet effective comeback ever created.




---
Imo, the best idea is to have a wide range which are funny in certain situation than one you just generally crack.
Modified by Sucrose, May 3, 2010 3:37 AM
 
May 3, 2010 8:42 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 589
"What you're doing makes no sense."
"Well, YOUR FACE IS TOO."
"What?"
"YOU HEARD ME."
"What you just said makes no sense."
"LIKE YOUR FACE."
"Bah, fuck it." *walks away*
"YEAH YOU BETTER RUN! >:D"
 
May 3, 2010 9:12 AM

Offline
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 422
My dear friend, Alex: Yeah? Well... You're a moron.
Sara: Call that a comeback?
My dear friend, Alex: If I wanted my cum back I'd wipe it off your mum's face.

There's nothing like a good old intelligent conversation with you, Alex. Deary meee.
Though I have to admit, that one did have me in fits of laughter. X'D


I also have a friend, Jimmy, who has a bad habbit of replying with 'your face'.

Sara: Awhh, that display's really prettyyy!!
Jimmy: So's your face.

That one didn't exactly work to his advantage.
curiouser and curiouser :)
 
May 6, 2010 8:20 PM

Offline
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 129
Line: YOU SUCK
Comeback: Well you blow
 
May 6, 2010 8:27 PM
Offline
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 4
AiZakra said:
Line: YOU SUCK
Comeback: Well you blow


It would be more logical of a comeback as well as a counter insult to say "Well you swallow." Think about that one.

Hmm. A comeback of my own. *Thinks for a moment.* Nope I've got nothing.
 
May 7, 2010 11:18 AM

Offline
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 252
ha nice

Back in my school days, using the come back shut up, was the sign of defeat.
Coming soon!
 
May 7, 2010 11:49 AM

Offline
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 663
i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet

Xiaoling Squirrel; baddest rodent in the forest.

 
Top
Pages (2) [1] 2 »