| No, I don't think it's all that weird at all. I feel like it's just how we look at society and at the social norms as to why it might feel weird, because we see so many people get into relationships at such a young age. Heck, I have nieces and nephews that are like 9/10 years old and already been in like a few relationships. I mean I guess it "doesn't really count" since they're young at all, but I mean still. I have a few friends that are close to your age, maybe just a year younger or so, that haven't been in a relationship. Are they incels? No where near that. You don't need to be an incel to be single for that long. Different people have different circumstances for why they're single. It sucks that society kinda views people who are single as things like lonely, someone who can't get into a relationship, etc. etc. but it's far from that. I think the important part when it comes to being single is to just focus on yourself. Focus on being the one rather than spending all that time looking for the one, because soon enough, you'll end up finding that special person. And what better way to find that person when you're at your best? I don't think relationships should make a person better, but that people should be better for themselves, and once they get into a relationship, things will just go that much more smoother and turn out to be an overall better experience. And it's good that you understand that getting into a relationship isn't like the solution to all of life's problems and what not haha. That's the big issue with a lot of people because they're looking for all the wrong reasons. This is all just my opinion tho lol. |
 ♔ caught in the wonder ♔ |
| What the hell's wrong with you. i just wanna say like "Really? your youth is so damn patheic" I guess atleast you ever had gf when in senior or junior. It's too far gone when you have to making love with your own hand haha. but here is my sugestion. do not fear to girl, dont be too picky, make sure you have intention. |
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LemurLime said: I'm 22, and I've never had a gf. EVER! Not even online. I'm beginning to think that there is something wrong here. I used to crave a lot for a relationship, but I kinda feel nothing now... like why was I so fixated on this to begin with? It really isn't as great as I used to imagine it will be. I saw it as the be all solution to all of my problems growing up, but I think this was a lie and an escape from reality. I also used to know this guy, who was in a similar situation to mine, except that he bragged to me how easy it is to get girls online as he had had many of such shallow relationships, but I can't really do that. It feels like an illusion, and fake. What do ya'all think? Just to clarify, I'm not an incel, I am not terrified from women, I've had female friends, I don't hate or blame anyone for my problems. Ah, maybe you still thinking like a kid. you going too far from reality |
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| [quote=LemurLime message=58703906] ScorpioMilo_ said: LemurLime said: I'm 22, and I've never had a gf. EVER! Not even online. I'm beginning to think that there is something wrong here. I used to crave a lot for a relationship, but I kinda feel nothing now... like why was I so fixated on this to begin with? It really isn't as great as I used to imagine it will be. I saw it as the be all solution to all of my problems growing up, but I think this was a lie and an escape from reality. I also used to know this guy, who was in a similar situation to mine, except that he bragged to me how easy it is to get girls online as he had had many of such shallow relationships, but I can't really do that. It feels like an illusion, and fake. What do ya'all think? Just to clarify, I'm not an incel, I am not terrified from women, I've had female friends, I don't hate or blame anyone for my problems. Ah, maybe you still thinking like a kid. you going too far from reality Thank you fort he compliment. I'm happy that I am mentally young. How you feel is what you are. :D[/quo LemurLime said: Thank you fort he compliment. I'm happy that I am mentally young. How you feel is what you are. :D Yes. i feel like i have to think more mature, Workhard, and find the right women, but still doing what can make me happy at the right time. |
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LemurLime said: I'm 22, and I've never had a gf. EVER! Not even online. I'm beginning to think that there is something wrong here. I used to crave a lot for a relationship, but I kinda feel nothing now... like why was I so fixated on this to begin with? It really isn't as great as I used to imagine it will be. I saw it as the be all solution to all of my problems growing up, but I think this was a lie and an escape from reality. I also used to know this guy, who was in a similar situation to mine, except that he bragged to me how easy it is to get girls online as he had had many of such shallow relationships, but I can't really do that. It feels like an illusion, and fake. What do ya'all think? Just to clarify, I'm not an incel, I am not terrified from women, I've had female friends, I don't hate or blame anyone for my problems. Sad state of affairs where guys that are single and happy have to pre-emptively defend themselves against the inevitably hateful accusations of inceldom. The shaming culture around male sexuality is pernicious and truly comes from all angles. If only other men didn't let it happen, but anway, here's my thoughts. I'm single and open to a relationship but in no way seeking it. I love looking at sexy girls in anime and even 3D ones sometimes, but I'm not really bothered about sex unless it's as part of a loving relationship. But, due to prior experiences as well as the way I am now and how I choose to live my life, I think that if I were to spend time seeking the right girl, I could potentially waste years of my life on activities I don't like and relationships that don't work out. So, as to the question of "normal or too far-gone?", I would say don't bother caring about what is normal first of all. Seek your own happiness above all else. That is the only truth. The single life for men is a smart move nowadays for guys that don't have that need for companionship. I know some guys who constantly get in and out of bad relationships, and they always tell me it's because they don't want to be alone. Kind of sad, but they are seeking their own happiness so more power to them I guess. Still seems like they are trapped from my perspective. My advice to you would be to try and experience a relationship first though. I know what's best for me because I'm experienced a (admittedly small) number of relationships. You can't know the single life is right for you until you know what the alternative is like. I would only urge you not lose sight of yourself. Don't become one of those guys who has no personality outside of activites with their partner. Because if things ever go south in the relationship, you'll be in a bad way. |
| “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.” -Friedrich Nietzsche Aggregate scoring is bad for the anime fandom |
| Not at all weird, maybe you just never had an opportunity or focused on something else in your life, that's perfectly normal. ^.^ I am on the same boat (I am just 2 years older) and I also feel nothing. I don't even think about it, there's a lot of more important things going on in my life now, so for now I don't care. And especially in this day and age people tend to put these things off for much longer than ever before. LemurLime said: I also used to know this guy, who was in a similar situation to mine, except that he bragged to me how easy it is to get girls online as he had had many of such shallow relationships, but I can't really do that. It feels like an illusion, and fake. This is weird though, why would anyone force themselves into a shallow relationship just for the sake of being in one. Thinking that being in a relationship would fix anyone's problem is pretty stupid. You did good avoiding such relationships. |
| Its a lot easier to rationalize avoiding relationships then it is to risk getting into one, and being hurt. I think part of your problem, which is good you’re aware of it, is thinking women(or any partner) are supposed to make your life better. Which is part of why i have issues committing or seeking out someone new, it seems like everyone really just cares about their own well being and benefits rather then caring about the well being of both. “True love” to me is just when two people care just as much about the others well being as they do their own. |
| I got my first boyfriend around that age, so I wouldn't say it's that unusual. I have heard that late bloomers tend to form more lasting relationships than those who begin early. Dunno how factual that is, but at least it has worked out that way in my personal experience as we are still together. |
Railey2 said: Yeah, I don't like things that cause unnecessary suffering. If there was a cultural practice that demanded people hit themselves in the face with a piece of wood, I'd also say that it needs to die out. It's about recognizing silly/harmful practices and taking a stance against them, and yes I am very intolerant towards everything that predictably causes great harm to people that never did anything to deserve it. Not that you'd care, for all I know you think that forcing people to marry before they can even properly get to know themselves is a great idea. Although I don't like calling it liberal intolerance. I call it basic empathy, and maybe you need some more of it in your life if the suffering of others doesn't faze you at all. I don't have a lack of empathy. Your perception of my lack of empathy comes from the fact that our perspectives are wildly different. I don't know if Theoderic's culture does things any better or worse than ours does. Given how disillusioned I am with how love and marriage works in our culture though, I'm willing to consider anything before writing it off as an idea that needs to be extinguished. |
| Signature removed. Please follow the signature rules, as defined in the Site & Forum Guidelines. |
Ryuk9428 said: So you'd consider having people marry before they know each other, meaning their compatibility is pretty much a toss-up?Railey2 said: Yeah, I don't like things that cause unnecessary suffering. If there was a cultural practice that demanded people hit themselves in the face with a piece of wood, I'd also say that it needs to die out. It's about recognizing silly/harmful practices and taking a stance against them, and yes I am very intolerant towards everything that predictably causes great harm to people that never did anything to deserve it. Not that you'd care, for all I know you think that forcing people to marry before they can even properly get to know themselves is a great idea. Although I don't like calling it liberal intolerance. I call it basic empathy, and maybe you need some more of it in your life if the suffering of others doesn't faze you at all. I don't have a lack of empathy. Your perception of my lack of empathy comes from the fact that our perspectives are wildly different. I don't know if Theoderic's culture does things any better or worse than ours does. Given how disillusioned I am with how love and marriage works in our culture though, I'm willing to consider anything before writing it off as an idea that needs to be extinguished. I know you favour some really regressive 50s gender roles type stuff, but man even you have to admit that this is a bad idea. Let me repeat: You marry someone without knowing if you're compatible at all and then to complete the package, you're probably not even allowed to get a divorce. Use a brain Ryuk, what do you think the outcomes will be there? You don't know if this is worse than letting people mingle beforehand? Come the fuck on lmao. |
| "my life at this state could be transposed into a pretty massive biography" - Cneq, "the guy who was literally using BTC in 2012 to make deals in the first main instance of a digital itemized economy forming naturally in all human history (also the precursor of NFTs) and who had 20k+ total trades.", 23 years old MAL's most prolific antivaxxer, Noboru. |
Ryuk9428 said: Railey2 said: Cultures that force people to do silly things like this need to die out already. Damn, talk about liberal tolerance at its finest. Such traditions are a stupid answer to a stupid question. Pointing out the stupidity of something isn't intolerance, and even if it is, tolerance is overrated. You can acknowledge people's beliefs and then you reserve the right to say "That's fucking stupid". Life is too short for all this bullshit, I'm gonna be dead soon and it won't matter if I had sex before marriage or not. |
<Insert clever quote> |
| I was going to say "Don't worry about it" but LemurLime said: I used to have them. I isolated myself tho, and haven't spoken to a women my age in three years. I kinda forgot how to anymore. Three years? I do find this a bit worrisome...also how is this possible? You interact with the outside world...don't you? Just talk to them like you would anyone else. Just don't say um...anything you wouldn't say to your mother. lol |
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Red-Berry-Vodka said: They look very robotic, the perversion of the apron is useless if there is no lustful love involved.xA-2 said: Omg, another example of why we are in the worst time to live, ¿when the damn waifus androids that only wear an apron?. Anyway you can opt for the "forced" option, but you will need an isolated room and a few strings, but with effort you could get it. It's infallible, I already have a love triangle thanks to this. is this ok? character count... limit They have to be like gfl, Nier or violet evergarden. Real dolls. It is worth dreaming. |
AsPeeXXXVIII said: Ultimately, the best choice for anyone is to focus on themselves before anyone or anything else. Be the best version of yourself that you can be. Someone is bound to notice you sooner or later. This is especially important because you don't want to be a project right out of the gate. You'll end up draining your partner, then they'll leave you, then you'll dig yourself deeper. Friends, health, and having things to do in your life come before starting a relationship. Doesn't hurt to have money either since it fuels all of the above. Alpha_Tranny said: Come to the dark side and just go for femboys. They are super cute and they aren’t women so their easier. Is it possible to be just friends with one of these she-men if you're straight? Playing games on the couch and getting 8 piece spicy chicken from Popeyes? My best friend's gay, but he's not fem-anything, he's a native american republican so I have no context. |
| @SamHandwich It's totes possible. And you can be total bros and make sure you are both satisfied with your alone time. |
  ♡ Harder Daddy ♡ |
| @LemurLime might be difficult to but don't worry much about it. If you go and socialise enough, eventually you'll find someone if that's what you want. If you aren't looking then why worry yourself? I have experience, but haven't bothered to get out there for over five years. Not having a gf isn't abnormal, neither is not having had one at your age. Some people get anxious about it but in my anecdotal experience the anxiety of not being in some fairy tale relationship drastically drops off around 25 or so either way. Put away your brain and worries, relationships just happen. If you haven't had one yet, no big deal. If you're potentially interested, go find groups to join and be around people and it'll happen on it's own. Take it easy and live at your pace. I have my share of isolation patterns, so I feel for you there. The best thing to do is to focus less on getting into a romantic relationship and more on just getting into social relationships to start with. The big trick is remembering no one can hurt you if you don't let them, as in don't give people too much emotional real estate until you have built up mutual trust and comfort. Sounds obvious but it's the easiest mistake to make. It isn't mean to be cautious about people. Part of this also is your personal assumptions and expectations, keep them in check against reality. Above all, remember to affirm and respect your own personal agency at all times. If you don't feel in control of yourself or your situation, step back and work on that first because the linchpin is feeling comfortable in your own skin and everywhere you go. Anecdotal again but I was taught to look into people's eyes, and as an adult I've found it intimidates people to make unbroken eye contact though in personal relations it creates a stronger sense of bonding. Feeling or at least appearing to be in control of yourself and your personal bubble is probably step one. I hope something in there is helpful to you fam. Quick edit: The word I was probably looking for was probs closer to "safe" than "comfortable" but just assume kind of a mix of the two as far as intent goes. |
| Nico nico ni~eed a siggy like the all the cool kids Really wish we had a rep system so I could farm it and spam rep+ |
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