| there’s like a switch that goes off in my brain that i can’t think or act normally. yet at the same time, i feel highly aroused. maybe aroused isn’t the right word, but highly stimulated by their presence. this highly stimulated state overrides my ability to think properly. is it a hindrance? i don’t know. it is uncomfortable so i would like to solve it |
| Just imagine them in their underwear. No wait, that won't work... |
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| it's the same with me but around brightly lit places with white walls you know, your standard minimalistic shops? screw em as for your solution, i'd suggest to know that they are acknowledging you as one of them for being around them, and that if anyone notices you enough to compare you to them, you're already thinking too much this sounds so bad for what im actually proposing i hope i can get this through lol |
| I've been trying to figure that one out for ten years now. Let me know if you find an answer. |
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| Do you get nervous around average looking people? |
| I am nervous even when I am alone, I guess that means I'm hot stuff. Pocky sounds like a classic case of the dweeb who wanders around conventions with his mouth agape when a cosplayer walks by. The best cure for this is to concentrate more on 2D Waifus since they are far superior than any fleshbag you can ogle IRL. I can acknowledge some people are attractive, but when you take away sexual interest they become just the same as anybody else. |
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| I guess I get that too, somewhat. I guess my usual solution is just to try and fumble through a casual conversation and hope I don't accidentally come off as a creep. Always gotta remember this is a person we're talking to so we gotta treat them like a person. Generally, if you get to know the person well enough and hang around them enough then you'll just treat them normally anyway. I think it's important to recognise that wanting to fuck someone is not the same thing as wanting to befriend them. I think a lot of people don't seem to get that. |
| I don't think I've ever seen an attractive person in real life before, so I'm afraid that I can't help you. |
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| It's because you lack self-confidence and have low self-esteem. It's not your fault. Your parents did a fucked up job of raising you. Focus on yourself and your presentation. Once you look good, you'll be confident too and not feel inadequate next to beautiful people like myself. |
scruffs said: Do you get nervous around average looking people? If they are girls, then yes, I often do. |
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Ryuk9428 said: scruffs said: Do you get nervous around average looking people? If they are girls, then yes, I often do. But what is it about them, or yourself that would make you nervous. |
Ryuk9428 said: If you get nervous when talking to literally all/most girls, even when it's just you buying from a shop, or speaking to a colleague, then you are a dysfunctional human by all means. If you get nervous when picking up girls, you just need a confidence boost. Work on becoming a better person, or see a professional.scruffs said: Do you get nervous around average looking people? If they are girls, then yes, I often do. |
| It’s easy. Just stop being ugly B) |
| Real men cry themselves to sleep every night |
| 3 shots of tequila will do the trick. Trust me |
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| Try approaching them and making small talk about things you have in common or give them a SMALL honest compliment. Eventually you'll start to get used to how they're normal like you on the inside, however often real gassed up (unfortunately). Then the nervousness should subside. btw don't let yourself over-compliment "beautiful people" to the point where it gives them a bigger ego. Don't fuck with people who seem to be full of themselves or won't talk to you back all the time. They are out there and gassed up to hell. However, a little compliment is a good way to start a convo and find a new friend. "I like your outfit, tattoo, drawing, etc". Takes practice tho. Real friends like people who are honest and make them feel good about themselves. Find people like that and put them into your life |
scruffs said: Ryuk9428 said: If they are girls, then yes, I often do. But what is it about them, or yourself that would make you nervous. Cause when I try to pick them up, it never goes well and I often embarrass myself. The only girls I've ever slept with did everything for me and essentially picked me up. |
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Yarub said: If you get nervous when talking to literally all/most girls, even when it's just you buying from a shop, or speaking to a colleague, then you are a dysfunctional human by all means. If you get nervous when picking up girls, you just need a confidence boost. Work on becoming a better person, or see a professional. Just while shopping no, but definitely while trying to pickup. I can't just turn on confidence. It doesn't work like that. How are you supposed to have confidence when every attempt you've ever made to pickup failed? |
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| I never had problems talking to girls, be they attractive or not. I'd say the basic that has been said a thousand times already, a bit of confidence and self-esteem goes a long way. Also, what Shishio-kun said can be a life changer. Attractive people are as much 'people' as anyone is, there's no need to put them up on a pedestal. Actually, some of those 'really attractive people' just wanna be treated as normal as everyone else and are tired of being sucked up to or not approached by others. |
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Valdemore said: 3 shots of tequila will do the trick. Trust me Alcohol used to give me a lot more of a confidence boost than it does now. I mean, I still get a boost from it, but not a major boost unless I have like 6 beers/shots. |
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Flevalt said: The important part is to remember that they are just a human. Them being human is exactly why they make me nervous. If they were literally anything else it would be so much easier. Horror movies: Fun, love em. Public speaking: Done it before several times, little nervous but I was fine. Bears: no problem. Snakes: I'll wrap one of those fuckers around my neck like a scarf with no problem. I love snakes. Spiders: my roommates have literally tasked me with taking all spiders and insects outside because I have no fear of insects whatsoever. Aliens: I'd probably be way too fascinated to care. Pretty girls? I can't pickup a girl to save my life cause of how nervous I am. |
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| I don't tend to look at people's face's, so i wouldn't know if they were attractive or not in the first place. Try doing that! Lol, for me, someone just being attractive isn't enough to make me nervous around them, i'd need to have a crush on them. In high school the guys who were considered attractive, were some of the most obnoxious people i've met. I think that's had an effect and put me off conventionally attractive guys XD Even though i know i shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. Ryuk9428 said: Flevalt said: The important part is to remember that they are just a human. Them being human is exactly why they make me nervous. If they were literally anything else it would be so much easier. Horror movies: Fun, love em. Public speaking: Done it before several times, little nervous but I was fine. Bears: no problem. Snakes: I'll wrap one of those fuckers around my neck like a scarf with no problem. I love snakes. Spiders: my roommates have literally tasked me with taking all spiders and insects outside because I have no fear of insects whatsoever. Aliens: I'd probably be way too fascinated to care. Pretty girls? I can't pickup a girl to save my life cause of how nervous I am. Just think about how under that pretty face, they've got a skull face like everyone else. Unless you're attracted to skulls anyway...  What helped me become more confident and less nervous around people in general was not caring about what they think so much. It could be applied to talking to girls too i guess. If you don't care what they think of you, you'd be less nervous. Even if it's not how you really feel and just fake confidence, it's a start. Fake it till you make it! That's what i did anyway. I was so sick of my heart beating fast and getting butterflies in my stomach just from sitting next to someone i don't know. So i just changed my mindset the best i could. I stopped putting so much value in other people's opinions of me. Not to say i don't care at all about people's view of me now, just not to the extreme point that i used to. Being nervous is totally normal, i just don't let it control me anymore. I know you said you've been dealing with this for a while now though. Just thought i'd tell you what helped me :) |
FancyjasperSep 11, 2019 5:21 PM
| @fancyjasper Yeah a part of me knows that's what I have to do but its definitely easier said than done to care less. I think I'm better at faking it than I used to be but its still very unrefined. I can see what you mean by put off by conventionally attractive people. I would still say that I am attracted to people who are conventionally attractive but my preferences have leaned strongly towards girls that also have a friendly look to them and not just hotness by itself. I think that's why I started really liking the "cute" look is because a girl with a cute look almost always indicates a friendly and warm personality whereas hot could go either way. With guys, I think that a lot of the conventionally attractive guys just have personalities that reek of "have had it way too easy in life" and take everything for granted which is why they are obnoxious. |
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| Treat them like human beings. I still get butterflies in my stomach around attractive women because that's a completely natural response, but in those situations where I'm posing no immediate desire to date them, I just talk to them normally as I would any other random person. Sure, I might talk to them MORE than a normal person because I'm generally more fixated on them, but the topic of conversation or method of conversation doesn't really have to change. Now, while I have minimal experience talking with women WITH the intention of dating them, I would still say it's best to act on those feelings as soon as possible. Women are generally very prone to figuring out if you're mate material within your first few conversations, so the sooner you are honest about your feelings, the better. Everyone loves a person who's decently decisive in their decision making, and women in particular like assertiveness (but while still being kind, to be clear), and that plays into that. |
☕ Truth be told, I'm quite proud of my house blend. To attain my flavor and fragrance, I use five different types of coffee beans. ☕ |
Ryuk9428 said: Cause when I try to pick them up, it never goes well and I often embarrass myself. The only girls I've ever slept with did everything for me and essentially picked me up. Are you able to hold a conversation and make people laugh? |
scruffs said: Ryuk9428 said: Cause when I try to pick them up, it never goes well and I often embarrass myself. The only girls I've ever slept with did everything for me and essentially picked me up. Are you able to hold a conversation and make people laugh? Hold a conversation? Yes. Make people laugh? Eh, sometimes. |
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| you must got high sex drive or lust castration is a thing but not recommended lol |
| that's just natural bro..everyone likes attractive people while men below 6/10 are destined to ldar |
 penis lol |
| just be yourself. if being nervous around people is a part of you, then don't try to stop or conceal it. if they accept you for what you are, then they are the one for you. if they don't, then they are not the one for you. |
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| This is not good advice and you should not take it but it's the only one I have: Alcohol, or other drugs that make you more relaxed can go a long way in relieving anxiety and nervousness, even in small doses. Or at least make it not imapct your ability to have a regular conversation. Of course too much will impact that ability in other ways but that should go without saying. |
| I probably regret this post by now. |
| considering their flaws and making yourself dislike them |
AnimeFreak-San said: is this a male gender issure...human issue...mental illness perhaps? |
| By working on your self-esteem. I know it's easier said than done but let's face it, if they're not interested in you in the first place, then they likely won't give two shites about what you have to say in an attempt to appeal to them. Of course this is assuming you are strangers to each other, since I doubt you'd be friends with someone who you're nervous around. If they like you, they're gonna involuntarily help you carry on a conversation unless they're awkward. |
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| If you're talking about girls, realize that if you remove their makeup they won't be too far from your ballpark at all. If she looks like an 8 or 9 with makeup on, then she's a 6 or 7 on a good day without makeup. Where do you rank? The world is yours. |
| by accepting that youre a genetically inferior subhuman and the presence of a female shouldnt concern you any more than being in the presence of a family member, because any sort of sexual/romantic relationship is completely impossible, unless you live in alabama... |
| next time just come up and talk to me OP i don't bite (usually) |
 hiSets Last FM Anime List Manga List Clue no. 2: Somewhere in one of the pictures in my forum signature. |
| I don't recommend you feel like a man when you push her around. I don't recommend you feel better, as she falls to the ground. I'll tell you my friend, one day this world is gonna end. As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found. |
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