| Only got creepy Message once & it was someone asking me if I could send him my feet pics, not sure why but it made me Laugh though I blocked him |
 It’s okay to look back at the past, just don’t stare too long |
| I've been bugged and people have sent me dick picks. I had to delete and block so many people, it wasn't fun anymore. Maybe I should change my gender to Male on this site. |
If life ain't just a joke Then why are we laughing? If life ain't just a joke Then why am I dead? |
Rimay said: Or you could just not show it.I've been bugged and people have sent me dick picks. I had to delete and block so many people, it wasn't fun anymore. Maybe I should change my gender to Male on this site. No one forces you to publicly display your gender and I get not why anyone do it. As I said in my original post I simultaneously don't doubt it happens but also can't find much sympathy for it. What's the function of publicly listing your gender to begin with? It's so easy to avoid sexism of any kind of the internet in places where there is no force whatsoever that forces one to make one's gender public that I really can't bring myself to have sympathy for those that suffer it. By default when you register on MAL it's not visible; you have to have gone through active steps in your profile to fill it in and make it public. |
 It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
| I have never had a problem like that tbh. I wouldn't worry too much if that happened to me tho Just block them and that's that xd |
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Peaceful_Critic said: And if you think that is worth the price of sexual harassment then you have priorities in life I find inscrutable I guess.@Sphinxter "What's the function of publicly listing your gender to begin with?" So people know what to call you. It's for basic communication so people can call you by your "he" or "she" pronoun. Is the world really going to stop turning because a user on the internet used a different pronoun? Use whatever pronoun on me you want; I don't care. I decided a long time ago to just quit the bullshit and use "he" for everyone regardless of sex or gender anyway. Edit: And on that matter why show one's birthday? Are there different pronouns for that too? — especially considering that birthday is considerably more privacy-sensitive than gender. |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
Peaceful_Critic said: My problem with it is that "has to hide" makes it sound like a great sacrifice which it is not.It's annoying when people do. I wasn't hyperboling anything, though I do find it stupid and unfair she has to hide basic information due to some bad apples. It's like hiding your list so some elists don't come up and make fun of you. The statue being out doesn't give you the right to egg it imo. If one could press a simple button to not be bullied at school one could argue back "I don't feel like I should need to press a button to not be bullied; it should be standard behavior!" and I don't disagree but I also can't be sympathetic to those that can make a problem go away with almost no effort but rather complain than making the problem go away. And that's also what I believe with most a lot of these identity-complex problems that are ever so frequent — often they have a very simple solution that's not taken. Methinks that the seeker isn't actually motivated to solve the problem as much as that he just enjoys his victim complex and want the problem to persist; I gain a very distinct impression of a lot of identity-complex whining that they're more interested in complaining and feeling mistreated than actually solving the problem. Why would showing my birthday hurt me? One gives up plausible deniability that one not own an account in some cases. The chance of a birthday collision is quite low. I see no reason to do that and retain plausible deniability when a relative or coworker might stumble upon an account and think that it's I.People ask it I have never been asked for my birthday on the internet like that and I would surely not give it out. |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
Peaceful_Critic said: And yet he has not yet done so and has gone through the effort to fill it in as female before.She said she was considering changing it to male, so the problem would go away. You can't call it complaining when the thread asked for the information. She didn't go on about it at all. She simply stated it happened to her. Basically even if he wouldn't be sexually harassed my opinion is already low of the action of going through the effort of actively making one's gender public on a website like this. "identity-complex problems" All these problems talked about in "identity politics" where people feel there is some kind of systemic social mistreatment of whatever group they identify with; I'm usually sceptical of it because I often feel it's self-invited and only hits one if one go out of one's way to broadcast one's identity and conform to it.???? Like for instance one sees a lot of males complain that they're being perceived as threatening just over being male despite having done nothing wrong. I reject that thesis; I contend they're perceived as threatening because they make themselves threatening because they're so caught up in their self-imposed social pressures of acting all virile and dominant and puffing their chest and making themselves larger that they're perceived as such. It doesn't hit males at all that aren't obsessed with all that masculinity crap. They would only see the account if they were looking through MAL themselves. besides deniability only matters to those who are insecure about liking anime(which is something I am not). There are really a variety of things users post on messageboards that can get them in trouble with employers that go far beyond "liking anime".For instance in the sexual orientations thread a lot of members claim to not be out to their parents... they would obviously like to have plausible deniability if their parents stumble across their account and confront them with "So this account belongs to a user that claims to live in this city and has your exact birthdate and gender and I know you also watch anime...?". Cut out birthday and gender and it's easy to say "There's more people in this city that watch anime than I." |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
Peaceful_Critic said: Maybe so but he went through the effort of making gender public in the first place. I'm saying that what I see is what I consider to be poetic justice. I consider it a foolish act to even list one's gender so if they're hit negatively by that I merely smirk.Yes, probably because she thought she wouldn't get harassed as much as she did. She said she is considering it, not that she's going to do it. You can ask her for the reasons behind this. The point still stands she hardly complained about it and is considering the easy solution. Also, can you use they instead of he? I could, but I won't.Again the parents would only stumble upon it if they used MAL themselves, and so happen to click on their child's profile. Which would be really unlikely. It would be unlikely but it happened to me at one point that someone I had never spoken to had in fact recognized me on a forum simply because a friend of mine at the time apparently "spent 99% of the time talking about me and the remaining 1% about music he knew via me." to that third.It happens that one gets recognized by real-life associates and having plausible deniability in some cases is nice. Apart from that birthday can be used easily to search. Say a parent know his child to be interested in this so-called "anime" and googles this site and uses birthdate and gender to triangulate a list of possible user accounts and checks them all for possible matches. One can easily write a script that uses birthdate, gender, timezone and recent activity to narrow it down to about 40 accounts that can be manually inspected for recognition. Take away birthdate and those 40 quickly become 4000. It works the other way too, just having your birthday and gender listed would allow for the excuse that "Well, the site is international, so there are people who share my gender and birthday." Not to mention, your city is more private and personal compared to your birthday and gender. I don't see how not having a birthday listed would ever be a detriment to having one listed. |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
| Saw many and i agree with what you said... Also this thread is going off track... |
Why not? It is the grammatically correct way to refer to someone's gender neutrally when you don't know it. You don't say she, he, or she/he, you say them. It's a little writing tip I learned from a book. And yet I do. As I said I continue to use "he" even when I do know it even when they ask me not to.It's not about missing information; it's about that I fundamentally don't agree with gendered language. If there are gendered terms I just use whichever is older or more common for both sexes. Sharing birthdays isn't as rare as you think: Sharing birthdays is indeed not unlikely but that doesn't change that if one factor in birthday statistically one has 365 as little matches. 40 to 4 000 is actually 1000 times as much; ti would actually be closer to 40 to 12 000 for that reason — assuming completely even birthday distribution of course which isn't entirely true."In a room of just 23 people there’s a 50-50 chance of at least two people having the same birthday. In a room of 75 there’s a 99.9% chance of at least two people matching." I actually got sent a friend request cause me and that person shared a birthday. |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
| Yeah, I am not gonna read that whole conversation. Someone give me an overview |
Peaceful_Critic said: And this is why I smirk and have a low opinion of it all.I think it's disrespectful to say "he" when you know someone is a girl. It implies they lack feminity and the basic respect to be called what they are. If you don't like gendered language then use "they" it lacks a gender, meanwhile "he" assumes a male gender. I have very little respect for those whose gender matters to them and go out to conform to arbitrary social expectations like "masculinity" and "femininity" and if that comes back to bite them I smirk. One can place as much value on one's own "masculinity" as one wants but to expect me to respect it is just demanding special treatment over gender. You say it isn't unlikely then you give it a 0.00333333333 chance of happening. What logic is this? And when did you get that %? My post doesn't feature percentages. I'm not sure what I'm giving a 0.003 chance of happening in my post. An important thing to realize is that "birthday" is not the same as "date of birth"; which also includes the year; the chance is far smaller for two individuals to have the same date of birth than the same birthday. |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
Peaceful_Critic said: Okay let's assume it is; everyone is free to do whatever he wants but why should I have to respect it? You're not just saying "let men conform to their gender roles if they want!" but "go out of your way and put in effort into adjusting your language to conform to theirs".Why? It's fine to want to be seen as feminine as much as it is to want to do things out of the norm for their gender. It's not hurting anyone that I like to play games such as Love Nikki, they can do what they want. So what if they conform to it? Being required to use gender-appropriate pronouns is in the same dimension as saying that I'm expected to slide out a chair for someone because he's female rather than just treat everyone the same. It's not special treatment to just be called "she" like someone might want. It's not a big deal for you to put that "s" in front of he or use "they"(an actual gender-neutral pronoun) instead. It's certainly expected to be treated differently base don gender. You're expecting me to use "she" for females and "he" for males; that's making a categorical distinction in treatment based on gender — however small.It's a principled matter for me to never gender my language except for the insertion of "male" or "female" in when gender is relevant. I agree, but how did you get your number? 40 times 365 is about 12 000. |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
Peaceful_Critic said: Well you just said I had to by altering my pronouns to reflect their gender. Even taking aside that I'm philosophically opposed it's simply effort: I have to expend mental effort to guess their gender from their "gender-præsentation" or ask them.@Sphinxter People are allowed to pride themselves in it. They are also people who go out of their way to be the opposite of their gender as well. Do you have to respect it? No, but there's no reason to be so against it. They aren't hurting anyone. No, it's not. Why are you acting as if it's such a pain to put "she" instead of "he"? He means you are referring to a guy, a male. Asking you not to refer to someone who is female as "she" isn't much to ask. Not to mention, it's a blatant misuse of the word "he". It's not grammatically correct. Use an actual gender-neutral pronoun if you are against gender. It's as much incorrect as saying that not pulling a chair out is incorrect because I'm treating them as a male and that that means they're male.I don't make the distinction, not only because I don't put in the effort but as said also because I'm philosophically opposed. Using he or she is as much treatment as calling someone their name. It's neutral, it doesn't mean anything except calling people by their grammatically correct pronoun. "He" and "she" doesn't feel different in terms of treatment. I also don't use names unless it's relevant to disambiguate an individual. I say "you" to everyone and if someone say "Don't say 'you' but use my name." even when there's no one else in the room I refuse to do so.I don't insert irrelevant characteristics into the conversation. Has nothing to do with grammar; it has to do with recognizing another's gender identity. I don't; I don't recognize any person's gender identity in the same way some refuse to recognize those of transgender individuals — from where I stand cisgender individuals are really much the same. Why did you times it by 40? What does 40 represent? Ahh, I see the confusion now.40 was the hypothetical number if birthday was not taken into account. I'm saying that if all users have birthday listed and the triangulation returns 40 possible candidates then in that specific case the number would climb to 12 000 candidates if no user had birthday listed showing how much birthday narrows it down. |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
Peaceful_Critic said: @Sphinxter "Well you just said I had to by altering my pronouns to reflect their gender. Even taking aside that I'm philosophically opposed it's simply effort: I have to expend mental effort to guess their gender from their "gender-præsentation" or ask them." Or you could just use they, their, and them like you just did. Like I've been telling you to do this whole time. I do that a lot and it requires no effort whatsoever. "It's as much incorrect as saying that not pulling a chair out is incorrect because I'm treating them as a male and that that means they're male." No, it is more incorrect as you are misusing the word. You don't use him to refer to a female. As "he" quote on quote means: "used to refer to a man, boy, or male animal previously mentioned or easily identified."-Default Google Dictionary That is hardly true for instance from Wiktionary: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/he#Pronoun (personal, sometimes proscribed, see usage notes) A person whose gender is unknown or irrelevant. He was traditionally used as both a masculine and a gender-neutral pronoun, but since the mid 20th century generic usage has sometimes been considered sexist and limiting.[1][2] It is deprecated by some style guides, such as Wadsworth. Using "he" as the gender neutral form goes back a long time in English. The word after all prædates "she" by several millennia. Same from dictionary.com: https://www.dictionary.com/browse/he anyone (without reference to gender); that person: The word "he" has long been used in English in contexts where the gender is irrelevant and I'm saying it always is. Unless you live in the past, you use "they" or "she or he" to refer to someone with gender neutrality. It isn't the same as doing stereotypical male or female things. It's a matter of simply using a word correctly. It's "correct" in the same way some insist the "correct" way to address a judge is "m'lord"; it's a social grace to respect a man's gender which I openly and notoriously ignore.Now I'm even more confused. 40 people should have a significantly higher chance than 1 person, but using your statics this isn't true(with a 0.001 increase as 1 divided by 365 is 0.002). Not to mention you put both numbers representing candidates. I don't follow, chance than one person to do what exactly?All I'm saying is that if one can't use birthday in the triangulation the number of matches is expected to go up by 365-fold. |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
| @Sphinxter Nobody speaks old or middle English. Old and middle English has little to no resemblence to modern English and is not comprehendable by modern speakers. Singular they bas been used at least as far back as Shakespeare. |
traed said: There's nothing "old or middle English" about it; it's used in English to this day. Is a man not entitled to the sweat on his brow? Famous line from Bioshock 2008 video game that is surely not taken to imply sex.@Sphinxter Nobody speaks old or middle English. Old and middle English has little to no resemblence to modern English and is not comprehendable by modern speakers. Singular they bas been used at least as far back as Shakespeare. |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
Sphinxter said: traed said: There's nothing "old or middle English" about it; it's used in English to this day. Is a man not entitled to the sweat on his brow? Famous line from Bioshock 2008 video game that is surely not taken to imply sex.@Sphinxter Nobody speaks old or middle English. Old and middle English has little to no resemblence to modern English and is not comprehendable by modern speakers. Singular they bas been used at least as far back as Shakespeare. Except it isn't. You can see this shown when a profession is changed to one that has historically been female dominated. If someone were to talk about nurses it would be "she" and "her" instead of "he" and "his". He is used in your example because physical labour is associated with men so the person is assumed to be a man. While with a nurse the person is assumed a woman. By doing so you're contradicting what you say you stand for. |
Flevalt said: Psyche_Izaya said: Though i'm barely active that much on MAL anymore, but as a female user here for over 10+ years i'm disgusted at how many men hit on me or hit me up in PMs for smut roleplays when i was underage xD. I know a few anime sites that are primarily visited by females. And all those sites are about is * fanfic * doujinshis * roleplay * cosplay I can imagine the "disgust" you must feel ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) LOL nah xD although i've done/read those things you mentioned i'm not too into them like other girls |
| Personally never had a problem on here but I purposefully avoid talking to people I find suspicious or weird so |
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| Lmao not sure if you're young or what but welcome to the internet mate. People are people and shouldn't be treated differently. I think it's a pretty quick decision to realize people who try to pick up girls on a anime website may lack some integrity and can be ignored. |
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| I would only block anyone if they send something offensive or uncomfortable to me |
| Hello everyone, I am single and looking to date. Please send me PM's if you are interest |
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| Well, I had my young and dumb phase towards women on the internet between the ages of 19 and 22, so here's one less asshole on MAL since I wised up in 2013 and I now generally don't care about a person's gender, especially with more post-millennials showing up. |
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NexivsSelecaf said: So what did you do exactly in this phase?Well, I had my young and dumb phase towards women on the internet between the ages of 19 and 22, so here's one less asshole on MAL since I wised up in 2013 and I now generally don't care about a person's gender, especially with more post-millennials showing up. |
It is obvious that "obscenity" is not a term capable of exact legal definition; in the practice of the courts, it means "anything that shocks the magistrate". — Bertrand Russell |
Sphinxter said: NexivsSelecaf said: So what did you do exactly in this phase?Well, I had my young and dumb phase towards women on the internet between the ages of 19 and 22, so here's one less asshole on MAL since I wised up in 2013 and I now generally don't care about a person's gender, especially with more post-millennials showing up. Basically typical "nice guy" bullshit involving getting overly attached to a certain someone at the time. |
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| Do you have to entertain anyone and everyone who comes knocking at your door? You do know that you have a choice, don't you? |
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Rimay said: I've been bugged and people have sent me dick picks. I had to delete and block so many people, it wasn't fun anymore. Maybe I should change my gender to Male on this site. Any chance I can sneak a dick pic in and you tell me what you think? |
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coolbandname said: Rimay said: I've been bugged and people have sent me dick picks. I had to delete and block so many people, it wasn't fun anymore. Maybe I should change my gender to Male on this site. Any chance I can sneak a dick pic in and you tell me what you think? sure honey send it on my comment section i'd be happy to report it <3 |
If life ain't just a joke Then why are we laughing? If life ain't just a joke Then why am I dead? |
Ok let me get it ready. I’ll dress it up real nice for you. You like tuxedos? |
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