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#1
May 14, 6:02 PM

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**spoilers ahead, obviously** (also please read everything/most of what i wrote to understand what i'm confused on)

first of all, i have NOTHING against this anime. in fact, i enjoyed it a lot. it had its flaws like every anime but it was far from bad. i loved how some things were portrayed in this anime which is why i want to understand something:


honestly...this has been bothering me for a while but Gilbert's "love confession" makes no sense. all i can see in their relationship, especially on Gilbert's side, is that of a person taking care of a poor abandoned kitten. he loved her out of pity? seems like a stretch. i know it's an anime and not supposed to be realistic but it's just very unbelievable that a guy in his 20's fell in love with a 10-ish year old girl that he found who had no emotions and was just blindly loyal. if he was only attracted because she was loyal and only had her eyes on him then that's kinda messed up imo. would a sane adult be attracted to a little girl who has no one else to depend on? i won't say it's extremely unhealthy and have a bit of faith towards their relationship but it's so sketchy

i can see how Violet fell in love with him, since he was all she had and was basically the first person to ever treat her like a person. just basically attachment to the first thing, like a duck or something

but Gilbert? he was a grown ass adult when he first met her and all he saw was some poor little girl and decided to take care of her, like a father. he just pitied her and his love for her seemed very shallow, which is why i don't understand it

i could understand if this relationship was not a romantic one, but a father-daughter relationship. but Gilbert straight up told her he loved her, so the father-daughter relationship is out the window. plus there's so many scenes where it's hinted at the fact that they have feelings for each other romantically. i don't know how it was in the novels but in the anime they made it VERY clear that Gilbert had romantic feelings towards her

i would have no issue with this if it wasn't for the "I love you" that was thrown at us from the very beginning or if Gilbert was portrayed to be as some mentally unstable war veteran that was basically willing to love anyone who showed affection towards him, which would actually require more character exploration for that to even be a possibility. he appeared normal enough, so can someone kindly explain this whole thing to me? is it different in the novels?

my own personal "theory"/answer to myself is the fact that i'm simply overthinking it and that the author hasn't really thought it out that much


(sorry this is so wordy and long, i couldn't express all my feelings about this in a shorter length)


bonus question regarding the novels:
Modified by beloving, May 14, 6:06 PM
 
#2
May 14, 11:41 PM
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I don't think it's so strange to tell someone you have parental love toward, "I love you."

If it's romantic love, there are a couple things to point out. One, it's established in this world that an age gap of 10 years, while not normal, isn't completely shunned, and the age gap may not be quite as bad as that. Violet gives her age as 14 in episode 5, which I think takes place only a few months after the war ended. Violet also admits that she's not sure of her age, and just given her physical appearance, I think most of us are inclined to believe she's even older than that. Two, there is the nightingale effect where someone falls for someone they're taking care of.
 
#3
May 15, 8:04 AM

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She was 14 or 13 during the war i think
And a 20 years old male falling in love with a 14 years old girl ain't nothinf special lol
And pretty sure they didn't show us how he lived with her in general they just showed us some footage so u can't say there is bo way he could fall in love with her there was a lot of time skips
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Opening:https://youtu.be/_qA3tXZwfrI

 
#4
May 15, 3:38 PM

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SamuraiChameleon said:
I don't think it's so strange to tell someone you have parental love toward, "I love you."

If it's romantic love, there are a couple things to point out. One, it's established in this world that an age gap of 10 years, while not normal, isn't completely shunned, and the age gap may not be quite as bad as that. Violet gives her age as 14 in episode 5, which I think takes place only a few months after the war ended. Violet also admits that she's not sure of her age, and just given her physical appearance, I think most of us are inclined to believe she's even older than that. Two, there is the nightingale effect where someone falls for someone they're taking care of.


the age gap isn't the thing that bothers me the most. i could not care less if someone who is 30 years old decided to date someone who is 80 years old. it's not really about their age rather than the fact that she was a child while he was around 25 (since he is 29 in present). imagine being 25 years old and taking care of a child, would you fall in love with them?

nightingale effect is something i haven't thought about though, interesting observation! so far that's like the only theory that makes sense to me (personally)
 
#5
May 18, 12:28 PM

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I think it's because he's not 'normal', if you look at his past. The anime sadly barely showed any of this.

He was forced to join the army as his family was known for their connection with the nation's military, due to numerous high-ranking officials who have come out under the Bougainvillea name. From a very young age, he and his brother were forced to follow their father's image. They never had a choice to do anything else. Gilbert initially didn't care about it, but Dietfreit was bothered and aimed to become a navy officer.

You can clearly see how Gilbert was like by this line said by Dietfreit.

'“You’ve been… completely brainwashed, huh…” With a voice that hinted pity, his brother whispered in disdain.'

Dietfriet soon broke that tradition and joined the navy. As he was the eldest son, this meant that the family's 'leader' would be Gilbert. All the responsibilities and expectations were directed towards him.

Because of this, Gilbert had a very busy life. He had to go on missions and manage his family as well. Getting promoted was therefore harder. His expectations only grew bigger, and soon he knew he couldn't meet them. That's when he meets Violet, I think.

After he met Violet, Gilbert found a lot in common with her, especially her having to follow orders, it probably reminded him of his own life, following orders from his father all the time and from the higher-ups in the military. I don't remember him ever truly smiling except when he was with Hodgins and Violet. Gilbert even says it himself.

'I… my life… was pretty much destroyed'
'It’s something very rare. I have very few things that I like. There’s actually a much bigger number of things that I detest. I simply don’t say it, but I’m not fond of this world, or this lifestyle. I do protect my country, but in truth, I dislike this world. '


And this is what he says about Violet. This is in his mind btw.

'I’ve found a meaning for living other than aiming for the top of that pyramid. Violet.'

Maybe this is a bit of evidence for the reason for his love. Interpret it the way you want it.

As for your bonus question
Modified by Major_Gilbert, May 22, 8:47 AM



"Le vent se lève!... Il faut tenter de vivre!"
- Paul Valéry, Le Cimetière Marin -


 
#6
May 18, 1:10 PM

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Major_Gilbert said:
I think it's because he's not 'normal', if you look at his past. The anime sadly barely showed anything on this.

He was forced to join the army as his family was known for their connection with the nation's military, due to numerous high-ranking officials who have come out under the Bougainvillea name. From a very young age, he and his brother were forced to follow their father's image. They never had a choice to do anything else. Gilbert initially didn't care about it, but Dietfreit was bothered and aimed to become a navy officer.

You can clearly see how Gilbert was like by this line said by Dietfreit.

'“You’ve been… completely brainwashed, huh…” With a voice that hinted pity, his brother whispered in disdain.'

Dietfriet soon broke that tradition and joined the navy. As he was the eldest son, this meant that the family's 'leader' would be Gilbert. All the responsibilities and expectations were directed towards him.

Because of this, Gilbert had a very busy life. He had to go on missions and manage his family as well. Getting promoted was therefore harder. His expectations only grew bigger, and soon he knew he couldn't meet them. That's when he meets Violet, I think.

After he met Violet, Gilbert found a lot in common with her, especially her having to follow orders, it probably reminded him of his own life, following orders from his father all the time and from the higher-ups in the military. I don't remember him ever truly smiling except when he was with Hodgins and Violet. Gilbert even says it himself.

'I… my life… was pretty much destroyed'
'It’s something very rare. I have very few things that I like. There’s actually a much bigger number of things that I detest. I simply don’t say it, but I’m not fond of this world, or this lifestyle. I do protect my country, but in truth, I dislike this world. '


And this is what he says about Violet. This is in his mind btw.

'I’ve found a meaning for living other than aiming for the top of that pyramid. Violet.'

Maybe this is a bit of evidence for the reason for his love. Interpret it the way you want it.

As for your bonus question


thanks so much for the detailed answer! that actually did make a lot sense. Gilbert's character is quite complex for sure, which is why it was hard for me to understand him

and also i thought about the ending and i think they didn't stick to the novel ending for the sake of making it ambiguous because some people actually did not want him to be back for the sake of proving Violet's independent growth. which i can understand i guess
 
#7
May 20, 2:43 PM

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That's something we see a lot in fiction, a father telling his daughter that he loves her before dying, it's really not a big deal.

Personally I think there are many other things that are wrong with this show, like the way Violet lost her arms, that was dumb.
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#8
May 22, 11:58 AM
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What makes you think it was romantic?

It's not unusual to tell family members, or even close friends that you love them. As far as I remember, the japanese word he used for "love" didn't necessarily mean romantic love.
 
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