Written for a contest at Writers Anonymous forum at fanfiction.net. Prompt: tears
Feedback is highly appreciated. This is a contest entry for a general forum (meaning that fandom knowledge is not necessary), so perhaps I can use a critical eye or two before the deadline. :)
A swirling portal of light lay in the distance, providing some illumination to this world of darkness with its brilliant glow. How could he be here, floating like a cloud in the sky? Looking down, he found no single wound on his body. He couldn't find any trouble breathing either. Had he...truly died?
Grave remained still, trying to recall what had happened to him. After a moment, he remembered the blinding flash of light before everything went black. What had caused such a luminescence? A flashbang couldn't possibly kill him, could it?
Explosion, he finally remembered. It was a massive one, caused by a giant missile as it struck his chest. That time, even if the blast hadn't killed him, the shrapnel would've finished him off by shredding his heart and lungs. The severe blood loss would shut off his regenerative power.
He had died indeed. Perhaps that portal would lead him to another world.
As he swam towards the light, tiny darts of water pelted his right hand. Like a drizzle, only that it was strangely localized. Then he heard some quiet sobs.
Someone was crying for him.
He only needed a few milliseconds to figure out who that was. Among his entourage in the world of living, only one person would cry: Mika, the child he had sworn to protect even when she was still inside her mother's womb. Having taken care of her for years, he knew what her tears meant. They represented not only her sorrow, but also her need for his presence, be it his protection or his embrace.
He whirled and swam away from the light. Forget about eternal peace; he did not deserve it as long as Mika suffered. But how could he get out of this place?
"His regeneration system is trying to reactivate itself, but there isn't enough blood in his body."
That voice belonged to Spike, his caretaker. Thanks to his statement, Grave now knew that moving further away from the light brought him closer to the world of living.
"Get me the blood donation kit, Spike!"
"Mika, you can't give him your blood forever. You'll die."
Teeth gritted, Grave swam like a swimmer with a shark behind him. This wasn't right! A frail human girl should never risk her life for a reanimated corpse!
Suddenly, he heard Mika say, "Hang in there... I'll give you my blood."
As he rocketed through the darkness, the image of his last meeting with a pregnant Maria flashed across his eye. "Brandon," she once told him, "if anything happens to me, please take good care of Mika." He had responded by placing a hand on her shoulder, reassuring her that he had etched, "I'll protect Mika at all costs," in his heart.
Unfortunately, he was now failing in his duty.
His heart pounded wildly at the thoughts of a dying Mika. If she died for him... Damn, he wouldn't know how to face her mother if he ever met her in another world.
After about a minute of swimming, he came across another swirling portal of light. Unlike the one he saw earlier, it glowed with dull gray light. Perhaps this one would lead him back to the world of living.
"Let me go, Mr. Jyuji! I must help him!"
Although Mika's strength could never measure up to a deadman like Jyuji, Grave kept moving at top speed. She never took her failure lightly, especially when it came to taking care of him. Usually, when that happened, he would give her a comforting hug or a gentle pat to the head. Because, he thought, if she's hurt and I don't do anything to comfort her, it means that I'm not carrying out my duty properly.
A mighty thrust of his feet launched him into the portal, and everything went white.
===
Grave's eye snapped open at the sudden sharp pain from his chest. Regaining his focus, he found himself lying on his recliner - his bed - in his trailer. He felt like being crushed under an orgman's colossal foot, but when he looked ahead, he decided to hurl that invisible weight away. Amid the blurred environment, he could see that Mika was struggling to break free from Jyuji's grasp. A gloomy Billy stood still beside them, unable to help Jyuji since being a ghost prevented him from touching anything.
He reached out his trembling arm and seized her wrist. Mika turned to him in response, her eyes widening in shock.
I'm fine, Mika.
He slowly rose, fighting against the unseen force that tried to push him back. The searing and stabbing pain in his chest threatened to knock him out, but when he saw Mika's teary eyes, he gained the strength to shrug it off. The toil sent blood out of his mouth, though.
"Please," Mika begged, "don't push yourself so hard! Let me give you my blood first!"
Panting with sweat dribbling down his face, Grave shook his head. He didn't need- no, he could never accept her blood. She was the one who needed care and protection, not the other way round.
Something tore his chest from the inside as he continued his physical struggle, forcing more blood out of his mouth.
"This is too much for your body! Stop it!"
Grave kept on going.
In less than a minute, his feet struck the metallic floor with two glorious booms. Sickening squelches echoed as scraps of metal ripped out of his bloodstained shirt and clattered on the ground. At long last, the pain in his chest subsided, and his vision regained its stability.
"But how?" Spike wondered out loud. "How could he get up? And his wounds... They're all regenerating!"
"Determination is what that keeps us deadmen going," Jyuji commented, releasing Mika, "but he appears to be one step above the other deadmen. I guess he isn't called a legend for no good reason."
"Whoa, man, you're amazing," Billy told Grave. "You are, hands down, the world's strongest deadman."
Grave suddenly felt something warm around his forearm. When he looked down, he could see a smiling Mika hugging his arm. For a moment, he saw her as his beloved Maria, who gave him a proud smile for his triumphant return.
Noticing the tears around Mika's eyes, he wiped them off with his free hand.
Mika looked up at him. "You look really good now. I'm so glad."
Grave replied with a nod and a smile. Dry your tears, Mika. I am here to protect you...forever.
WTF! No love for this? Just because it's a FANFIC of an UNPOPULAR fandom? Hooboy! It's kind of shame because this is a submission for a contest in a GENERAL forum. Anything needing fandom knowledge WILL NOT be a good submission for the contest!
Anyway, I've played OD, so I can see the changes you've made. Grave's struggle to rise becomes more dramatic since you added so much blood. The downside, though, the change in dialogue makes some parts a bit tell-y and infodump-y. But I mostly see this as your attempt to help the fandom blind.
A great thing here is the possible symbolism I find. The prompt is tears; it doesn't seem to be the main focus on surface value, but when you delve deeper into the story, it's actually still the main focus. Mika's tears are what that push Grave to not give up so soon. Mika's tears are calling Grave back. When it ends, Grave wipes them off, symbolizing that Grave has answered Mika's call and she doesn't need to cry again.
Bonus: I realize that Grave has no single line throughout this fic, so kudos for that! It's not easy to give game!Grave a profound characterization because he doesn't even speak, but here, although he has no dialogue, the way his struggle is portrayed makes me love game!Grave so much because he just refuses to give up, because he has a promise to keep. The only time he speaks is at the end of the game, and that's just ONE line!
Also, is Big Daddy's appearance being "blurred" to give a feeling of Brandon x Maria? XD
"Who wouldn't want to be like me? Handsome and free like a bird in a tree! Badaboom!"
impmontamer03 said: Bonus: I realize that Grave has no single line throughout this fic, so kudos for that! It's not easy to give game!Grave a profound characterization because he doesn't even speak, but here, although he has no dialogue, the way his struggle is portrayed makes me love game!Grave so much because he just refuses to give up, because he has a promise to keep. The only time he speaks is at the end of the game, and that's just ONE line!
Thanks. Anyway, Grave just speaks once, and that's just one line throughout ALL Gungrave games. Including Chaos Wars spinoff.
impmontamer03 said: Also, is Big Daddy's appearance being "blurred" to give a feeling of Brandon x Maria? XD
Nah, my OTP doesn't affect me in writing this. I "blurred" Big Daddy so that the fandom blind won't ask too much about Grave's relationship with Mika. More like an attempt to make them think that Brandon/Grave is indeed, Mika's dad, which will be easier to digest for the fandom blind.
The_Biologist said: Nah, my OTP doesn't affect me in writing this. I "blurred" Big Daddy so that the fandom blind won't ask too much about Grave's relationship with Mika. More like an attempt to make them think that Brandon/Grave is indeed, Mika's dad, which will be easier to digest for the fandom blind.
I get it. Fandom blind people will really, really question about Grave's relationship with Mika. Maria is Grave's/Brandon's sweetheart in the past while Mika isn't his biological child. Immediate question: why would Grave go so far to protect the child that isn't his? Just as pointed out in the anime itself! XD
Well, GL for the contest. Win and spread the love for the fandom! Get more people into knowing the fandom!
"Who wouldn't want to be like me? Handsome and free like a bird in a tree! Badaboom!"
impmontamer03 said: I get it. Fandom blind people will really, really question about Grave's relationship with Mika. Maria is Grave's/Brandon's sweetheart in the past while Mika isn't his biological child. Immediate question: why would Grave go so far to protect the child that isn't his? Just as pointed out in the anime itself! XD
Actually, a fandom blind reviewer NOTES something about BD (but not that question anyway). Well, this is likely because this fandom blind reviewer has reviewed a lot of my Gungrave fics throughout the review exchange.
impmontamer03 said: Well, GL for the contest. Win and spread the love for the fandom! Get more people into knowing the fandom!
Heh, the greatest thing in fanfic contest in a general forum is the chance to exposed your favorite unpopular fandom to everybody. Of course, if your fic is so well-written, there's just a chance to draw in new fans. Including non-anime fans (very rare, but when it happens...).
Have yet to play the games, but now I find myself wanting to play them. First, it's because this story hints a grueling battle beforehand, making me wonder who has just owned Grave in the game. Then your writing style makes me curious about the characters, especially the new faces (Billy the ghost). See below. :-)
You always have ways with words. Just look at the opening. The gloom. The sorrow. The despair. YOUR words alone just create the whole gloomy atmosphere for me. It's like Grave has resigned to his fate. He's dead and he figures in no way he can live again.
Also, I love how you integrate your prompt into your story. Instead of just writing Mika is crying, you convey it through a drizzle hitting Grave's hand. Considering the surreal environment, it WORKS incredibly well. Beautiful, stylish, and creative.
The core of this story is basically the standard shonen "nakama power" and "never give up," but your portrayal of those tropes is so good because the concepts aren't shoved into your face. No cheesy, preachy lines. Just subtlety in the narrative. Grave is all about keeping promise to his old love Maria, so it can be said that his love towards Mika is a bit ambiguous because throughout the narrative, his promise gets more focus than his love towards Mika, while Mika loves Grave so much that she's willing to risk her life just to save Grave. The feelings are (likely) mutual, making the portrayal of those tropes effective.
I wish you luck in the contest! :-)
Now, talk me into playing Gungrave games.
1. What is the difference between the anime and the game? Heard that the game has less story and characterization, but more action and badassery?
2. Is it a must-play for a Gungrave anime fan?
3. Do you think me, as a Gungrave anime fan, will enjoy the game?
@Knight_Miklotov
Thanks. Well, you just remind me of a reader whom I managed to draw into watching Gungrave despite the person's dislike towards anime in general! :)
To answer your questions:
1. Yes, the game is lacking in characterization when compared to the anime, especially the first game. Grave is simply a badass undead gunslinger who is hellbent on seeking revenge. Harry is simply a villain without any redeeming qualities. The only character whose characterization is better in the game is Mika because she is less of a brat. But plot? While the game doesn't go too deep about the storyline, the cutscenes, albeit brief, are usually sufficient enough to explain most things. Also, the game's plot is more focused on the sci-fi aspects, especially the second game. The game itself, barring the storytelling aspects, is actually pretty fun because you can just shoot and destroy anything around you. Not to mention that you get to choose between three demolition shots (nine in the second game, with three of them for slowing down enemies), and each of them has cool animation. Lastly, there are special DS for the bosses: Big 4 and the last two bosses in the first game, a few bosses in the second game.
2. IMO, the game is more like a complement to the anime (not plotwise because the game is a separate canon). If you've been complaining the anime for not having enough action, you can just play the game to make up for the missing action. Also, more Gungrave never hurts. :)
3. It depends on what you're looking for. If you expect it to have excellent characterization like in the anime, you'll be disappointed. The second game is pretty good regarding characterization, but still not as great as the anime. But if you're looking for the missing action as stated above, or you just want more Gungrave, you'll enjoy it.
I've got something to add: the second game adds two new playable characters. You've seen them up there btw.
Jyuji Kabane is an undead swordsman who wields dual gunblades, while Rocketbilly Redcadillac is a ghost who can zap stuff with the electricity from his guitar. Also, Billy looks a lot like Vash. Characterization-wise, these two are pretty fine. Jyuji has good character development throughout the game, while Billy himself is more static (but still a fun character himself).
And yeah, the game is all about coolness and badassery, at the cost of plot and characterization.
"Who wouldn't want to be like me? Handsome and free like a bird in a tree! Badaboom!"
What impmon said. :) I kinda like Jyuji from the second game because of his character development. Not as profound as the character development in the anime, but still good enough to give an impression.
I do remember you saying that you'll work on your own novelization of OD. And how you connect the anime with the second game via Aftermath series. Is there any chance you're working on those?
"Who wouldn't want to be like me? Handsome and free like a bird in a tree! Badaboom!"
Oh, nvm. I'm sure that this Gungrave x Digimon will be awesome. Should be more awesome if it involves Impmon/Beelzemon tho, but I know that you can create something great without having to involve that lovely imp! XD
"Who wouldn't want to be like me? Handsome and free like a bird in a tree! Badaboom!"
It was the first of October last year. For the results, there's no information yet, impmon, but the announcement is usually together with the new contest prompt.
Oh, I see. Though I wonder if you've surveyed your rivals heh. ;) Seems like this forum's contest is the toughest one because while there are plenty of subpar authors, there are also a lot of fantastic authors whose writing is just GODLY.
"Who wouldn't want to be like me? Handsome and free like a bird in a tree! Badaboom!"
impmontamer03 said: Oh, I see. Though I wonder if you've surveyed your rivals heh. ;) Seems like this forum's contest is the toughest one because while there are plenty of subpar authors, there are also a lot of fantastic authors whose writing is just GODLY.
I'm guilty of not reading and reviewing other people's entries. But let's be honest here; I work very hard to get reviews. If I don't participate in review tags or exchange, I'm not getting anything. So, if I want a review, I will have to review something first.
I'm often tired of that, so I think it's pretty normal if I just want to get a free review or two, you know?