lakritsikarkki said: I've been, earlier this year when I tried to kill myself. I was there for over a month and well what do I think about it, I was pretty bored all the time. And it was pretty noisy there every once in a while when someone went on rampage or something xD there was this old man who drooled chocolate pudding all over the place lmao. And this religious guy who started screaming amen 3am in the hallway xD yeah, it was boring but slightly interesting xD got some friends from there because well in a place like that if you meet someone who actually has some sense in them you just look at them with your eyes sparkling and say "you my hoe" did it help you wih your problems? |
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| Ah that's good then. Hope the meds are helping. Besides the people checking on you weekly, do you have people you can talk to? Yeah being at the clinic was mostly helping to calm me down aswell. The problems and feelings remained and never went away, no matter what I tried. Just have to accept living with that. It's funny and sad aswell, you really experience and meet some bizzare people there. There was this one guy who would never chew all of his food and spit it out at his doctor later. |
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| Yup. It's not that bad if you're willing to, actually. I was really tired of everything at the time, so I told everything that made me feel depressed. Felt really good afterwards, and the psychologist was a hot milf, and she would hug me if I asked her. |
| Wow I see you guys must have been throw a lot and yet you still joke around and don't fake your personalities. You seem so real. That's really something. Hope you're all doing ok by now Unfortunately everyone's got their problems including myself however unlike you I really hated the clinic. I didn't wanted to be there I was forced to. I hated it with all my heart. It only made more angrier and frustrated than I already am. The first time I talked with the psychologist was in front of my mom (the cause of my depression btw) and I just wanted to run. All her questions seemed so ridiculous and stupid and they were mostly about my mother. I knew my mother would get mad at me because of that and I knew those questions would only make my relationship with my mom get worse. Which made me so mad to the point that the psychologist started getting angry and yell at me. That made me cry the first time in years. I was scared and didn't wanted to be there answering all her complicated questions about my life and about my mom. I really cried like a baby that day...My mom eventually left the room and I ended up answering all the questions feeling hopeless and weak. Those questions brought the worst that is inside me. They made me think of events in my life and stuff I would rather not talk about, stuff that only made me more hurt each time I referred them. It was like this every single day at that damned clinic. What made it worse was seeing how my psychologist and the nurses didn't really give a fuck about me. I felt lonely and insecure and like I was some sort of hindrance. The best days of my life of course I don't really like to open up about stuff like this it makes me feel so stupid and weak so even writing this was really hard for me. Yet I love writing and I believe it's really helpful so...that's it...this was my experince |
Hikigaya Hachiman said: If the past makes you wanna die out of regret and future makes you depressed out of anxiety then by elimination, the present is likely the happiest time. |
| Your courage to write all this is appreciated. I can definitely see that if you are there against your will and don't really want to talk about your problems, let alone with someone you don't know at all and who doesn't seem to give a shit about you and your situation, that it is rather useless. Hope you feel better now, your problems got fixed and your relationship with your mom improved. You should continue writing, you have a pure style of writing. |
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_HeroKenzan_ said: Your courage to write all this is appreciated. I can definitely see that if you are there against your will and don't really want to talk about your problems, let alone with someone you don't know at all and who doesn't seem to give a shit about you and your situation, that it is rather useless. Hope you feel better now, your problems got fixed and your relationship with your mom improved. You should continue writing, you have a pure style of writing. First I just want to thank you for your kindness. Thank you very much. (Yes it took me a lot of courage and I feel so silly) About my problems...yeah they have all been fixed or at least most of them have since then. Life is just like a white shirt and depression like an oil stain. Once you get it no matter how many times you try to wash it away it's never gone. It may fade but it's always dirty. The worst part is that unfortunately you can't just throw away your cloth and get a new one. After all there's no restart button in life which makes everything even more depressing. So of course all the feelings and memories still remain but just like you said we just have to live with them and keep moving forward. Concerning my writing style that you mentioned...well I didn't even know I had one tbh. You call it pure and I really appreciate it. Whenever I write about these depressing subjects I try my hardest to convey my feelings since as you may know writing is like a therapy and it has helped me a lot. Besides like I said I love writing especially writing stories so I definitely won't stop doing that. I hope you too are doing well by now |
Hikigaya Hachiman said: If the past makes you wanna die out of regret and future makes you depressed out of anxiety then by elimination, the present is likely the happiest time. |
| Almost, but psychiatric hospitals in my country are really shitty and sketchy so I started acting more "normal" whenever I had an appointment with my doctor. Eventually he said I had gotten better and didn't require hospitalization. |
XxValentinaxX said: What made it worse was seeing how my psychologist and the nurses didn't really give a fuck about me. I felt lonely and insecure and like I was some sort of hindrance. I'm glad to read you're doing better, and yes talking with the right people is cathartic, so I hope everyone of you find some relief in writing your problems. I can relate. I used to had panic attacks and they were so confusing and horrific, I was so scared. The first time it happened, I went to see a doctor, he just checked my vital signs, told me to be calm and that there was nothing wrong with me without explaining anything, the second time I though I was going crazy and I rushed to a psyquiatric hospital but they were just full of burocratic BS, the personal keep asking me uncomfortable questions and I didn't even got to see a Doctor, I didn't get any help and just ended up frustrated and embarrased. The good thing was that my hate towards the entire situation made me forgot about my crisis and take matters on my own hands. I learnt what actually was causing it and found ways to relax myself as a form of therapy like music or running. I have never gone to those s*ty facilities again. |
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