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Mar 19, 2016 3:15 AM

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Feb 2015
6845
CHAPTER 49
REGROUPING

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:12 AM
Mar 23, 2016 3:16 AM

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CHAPTER 50
FAIRY GLITTER

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:03 AM
Mar 23, 2016 5:56 AM

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Jan 2012
760
The only thing I find wrong is the spacing, but that in itself isn't really a big problem. However in chapter 8 you could space it out so it wouldn't be clumped together. Dialogue can have it's own paragraph even if it's two words long.
So when I read --



It'll look more organized, although it isn't necessary. You'll find a lot of fanfictions similar to this like The Smallest Straw Hat, History Is Actually Awesome, and Blonding are good examples. If you space out your text, it will be more pleasant on the eyes of your readers, and easier to read. You'll also notice that these fanfictions have a heck ton of reviews!

Also another thing I would like to point out --



This is just a suggestion, you really don't need to change anything if you don't want to because it is your own writing after all. Otherwise it's pretty good! Please continue the good work!
BasudeMar 23, 2016 6:17 AM
Mar 23, 2016 7:03 AM

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Feb 2015
6845
Sondsta said:
The only thing I find wrong is the spacing, but that in itself isn't really a big problem. However in chapter 8 you could space it out so it wouldn't be clumped together. Dialogue can have it's own paragraph even if it's two words long.

This is just a suggestion, you really don't need to change anything if you don't want to because it is your own writing after all. Otherwise it's pretty good! Please continue the good work!


Thanks a lot for the suggestions. :)
I know Fanfiction.net automatically puts larger spaces between sentences like that, but I think I still prefer it more clumped together because it makes the paragraphs stand out more. With spaced out sentences you kind of lose the feeling of a paragraph during dialogue sections.
But I can see your point about readability, and it's something I'll keep in mind for future writings. Unfortunately, my story's already getting so big, changing that now would be a ton of work. :(

For your second point... Lol, it's really small. I guess it could go either way? Though the exclamation mark at the end makes it sound a little more excited.
MilenninMar 23, 2016 7:06 AM
Mar 23, 2016 7:23 AM

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Jan 2012
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Milennin said:
Sondsta said:
The only thing I find wrong is the spacing, but that in itself isn't really a big problem. However in chapter 8 you could space it out so it wouldn't be clumped together. Dialogue can have it's own paragraph even if it's two words long.

This is just a suggestion, you really don't need to change anything if you don't want to because it is your own writing after all. Otherwise it's pretty good! Please continue the good work!


Thanks a lot for the suggestions. :)
I know Fanfiction.net automatically puts larger spaces between sentences like that, but I think I still prefer it more clumped together because it makes the paragraphs stand out more. With spaced out sentences you kind of lose the feeling of a paragraph during dialogue sections.
But I can see your point about readability, and it's something I'll keep in mind for future writings. Unfortunately, my story's already getting so big, changing that now would be a ton of work. :(

For your second point... Lol, it's really small. I guess it could go either way? Though the exclamation mark at the end makes it sound a little more excited.


I understand. Editing always takes a lot of work... but don't worry about it. Thanks for hearing me out nonetheless. The second point is just something small and trivial, so I suppose in the long end it doesn't matter.

Besides that, I like how your story is progressing. Thanks for sharing it in the first place!
Mar 23, 2016 7:41 AM

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Feb 2015
6845
Sondsta said:
I understand. Editing always takes a lot of work... but don't worry about it. Thanks for hearing me out nonetheless. The second point is just something small and trivial, so I suppose in the long end it doesn't matter.

Besides that, I like how your story is progressing. Thanks for sharing it in the first place!

Thanks, I'm glad you're liking it so far. :) And since this is my first time writing an actual story (even though a big part of the story and characters isn't even made up by me, lol), I'm sure there are plenty of small things and flaws to point out, so it's helpful for me when they're getting mentioned.
Mar 26, 2016 3:45 AM

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Feb 2015
6845
CHAPTER 51
ON THE OFFENSIVE

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:03 AM
Mar 30, 2016 2:40 AM

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CHAPTER 52
KNOCKING ON HELL’S DOORS

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:04 AM
Apr 2, 2016 7:58 AM

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CHAPTER 53
DAYBREAK ON TENROU ISLAND

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:04 AM
Apr 6, 2016 1:46 AM

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CHAPTER 54
VIOLENT WHISPERS

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:05 AM
Apr 9, 2016 2:06 AM

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CHAPTER 55
ACNOLOGIA
MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:05 AM
Apr 13, 2016 3:54 AM

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CHAPTER 56
SEVEN YEAR GAP

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:05 AM
Apr 16, 2016 2:18 AM

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CHAPTER 57
THE NEW GUILD BUILDING

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:05 AM
Apr 20, 2016 2:11 AM

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CHAPTER 58
NUTTY SQUIRRELS

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:06 AM
Apr 23, 2016 2:50 AM

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CHAPTER 59
ENTERING THE GAMES

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:06 AM
Apr 27, 2016 2:48 AM

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CHAPTER 60
THREE MONTH TRAINING

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:07 AM
Apr 30, 2016 12:04 AM

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CHAPTER 61
THE CHOSEN FIVE


MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:07 AM
May 4, 2016 1:47 AM

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CHAPTER 62
CAPITAL OF FIORE

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:08 AM
May 7, 2016 10:19 AM

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CHAPTER 63
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

MilenninJun 6, 2016 3:13 AM
May 14, 2016 12:15 AM

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CHAPTER 64
LET THE GAMES BEGIN

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:09 AM
May 18, 2016 1:24 AM

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CHAPTER 65
BAD NEWS GOOD NEWS

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:09 AM
May 21, 2016 2:11 AM

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CHAPTER 66
A TASTE OF ULTIMATE POWER

MilenninJun 6, 2016 3:38 PM
May 25, 2016 2:11 AM

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CHAPTER 67
SMALL IN SIZE HUGE IN SPIRIT

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:10 AM
May 28, 2016 3:24 AM

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CHAPTER 68
THE STRONGEST TEAM

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:10 AM
Jun 1, 2016 3:44 AM

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CHAPTER 69
CLASH OF THE DRAGON SLAYERS

MilenninJun 4, 2016 1:11 AM
Jun 4, 2016 12:50 AM

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CHAPTER 70
THE ECLIPSE PROJECT

Jun 8, 2016 2:41 AM

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Feb 2015
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CHAPTER 71
OPERATION RESCUE LUCY

MilenninJun 8, 2016 12:41 PM
Jun 18, 2016 1:44 AM

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CHAPTER 72
HELL PALACE

Jun 22, 2016 8:32 AM

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Feb 2015
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CHAPTER 73
THE GAROU KNIGHTS

Jun 29, 2016 1:51 AM

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Feb 2015
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CHAPTER 74
FUTURE MEETS THE PRESENT

MilenninJun 29, 2016 9:46 AM
Jul 2, 2016 1:15 AM

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CHAPTER 75
THE DRAGONS ARE COMING

MilenninJul 2, 2016 9:00 PM
Jul 5, 2016 11:39 PM

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CHAPTER 76
ECLIPSE

Jul 12, 2016 11:39 PM

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CHAPTER 77
RESTORE THE PRESENT

MilenninJul 13, 2016 4:03 AM
Jul 16, 2016 5:10 AM

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CHAPTER 78
CALM AFTER THE STORM

Jul 19, 2016 11:45 PM

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CHAPTER 79
HOME SWEET HOME

Jul 20, 2016 12:31 AM

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Nov 2014
9843
Do you post this anywhere else?
It is unfortunate to see that this does not get enough attention.

Jul 20, 2016 12:37 AM

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Feb 2015
6845
ExTemplar said:
Do you post this anywhere else?
It is unfortunate to see that this does not get enough attention.
Yup, I'm also posting it on fanfiction.net (link is in first post). It's probably better to read it on there as it's more organised and all, plus it's also easier to stay updated if you have an account on there.
Jul 23, 2016 1:48 AM

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CHAPTER 80
RECLAIM THE PAST

Sep 24, 2016 9:50 AM

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Feb 2015
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CHAPTER 81
RACE TO THE FINISH

Oct 1, 2016 2:40 PM

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CHAPTER 82
I’LL KILL YOU

Oct 9, 2016 1:42 AM

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Feb 2015
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CHAPTER 83
GOD POWER

Oct 9, 2016 9:10 AM

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Aug 2016
174
I really admire your dedication to this *^* Usually, I get distracted from my writing projects and end up moving to the next one before I get anything finished - so, I find you pretty amazing for keeping this up for so long, wow~ .o.
It's also very nice to see your writing improve over time, aaa <3

Once we seize space, we'll all...
Oct 9, 2016 10:33 AM

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Feb 2015
6845
Zankyou-no-Izaya said:
I really admire your dedication to this *^* Usually, I get distracted from my writing projects and end up moving to the next one before I get anything finished - so, I find you pretty amazing for keeping this up for so long, wow~ .o.
It's also very nice to see your writing improve over time, aaa <3

Thanks, and to be fair, I'm often the same when it comes to big projects. There are a lot of things that can happen that make you feel like stop working on something and not come back to it again. I guess, it just really helps if you write something you're truly passionate about, which in my case works if it involves Fairy Tail.
I'm glad you noticed I've become better, because I think so, too, when I compare my older chapters to my more recent ones. :)
Oct 16, 2016 7:16 AM

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Feb 2015
6845
CHAPTER 84
THE END OF AN ADVENTURE

Oct 17, 2016 7:29 AM

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Jun 2015
5754
I didnt read past the 1st line of the summary

man wakes up with no memory?

thats more overdone and cliched than it was a dark and stormy night.

also a new self insert char instead of the existing ones?

pass.
Oct 23, 2016 3:35 AM

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Feb 2015
6845
KuroudoAkabane said:
I didnt read past the 1st line of the summary

Thanks for the free bump. :)

CHAPTER 85
INTO THE WILDERNESS

Oct 30, 2016 7:59 AM

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Feb 2015
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HALLOWEEN SPECIAL
HOUSE OF HORRORS

Nov 6, 2016 7:58 AM

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Feb 2015
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CHAPTER 86
RAGE

Feb 22, 2017 12:51 PM

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Feb 2015
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CHAPTER 87
LOST

Mar 14, 2017 4:44 AM

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Feb 2015
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CHAPTER 88
REUNITED

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