| This is directed towards guys but girls are welcome to participate too. I'm just curious as to what keeps you in the game despite repeated rejections, or even if you're a highly sensitive person and have trouble either approaching girls or taking rejection or both. Me personally, I'm highly sensitive. I don't take rejection very well. For me, there's no such thing as a slight rejection. Every rejection to me is a rejection. For example, my friends tell me it's nothing if a girl I barely know didn't respond to my interests. Like I just wanted to be a friend, But I still consider that a rejection because she probably wasn't physically attracted to me or actually found me repulsive in that I wasn't even worth exploring or getting to know. Also, for me, there's no such thing as "not taking it personally at all." It's not like this is a job interview where you're assessed mainly on your professional credentials. In dating, you're being strictly assessed on things very personal to you and a lot of things which are not under your control. For example, if you're short or you're the wrong ethnicity or if you're just not her type. These things are personal. Also, I don't buy into the whole thing about if a girl rejects you, it's just HER. See, if you're attracted to a girl, it means you tend to like girls of her type. By type, it could mean anything from physical characteristics to personality. So if a girl of her type rejects you, it's very probable that girls of that type just aren't attracted to you. So it's not just ONE rejection, it's actually maybe like 100,000 rejections. There could be a total of 100,000 people in this world who are quite similar to her and none of them like you. Despite all this, I don't think I've totally given up. The reason is simple. I'm not content being alone. I still want someone. As long as I have this desire to find someone to share my life with, I'm going to keep trying despite all the pain and hurt. I don't buy into the whole thing about how girls actually are interested but are too shy. An interested girl may not ask you out directly but she will do small subtle things that show she's interested. Even the most shy of girls do it. So if a girl is just completely oblivious or cold towards you, it means she has NO interest. Anything else is just wishful thinking. This is the 21st century. Girls for the most part are quite liberated. They have jobs, careers and are for the most part self-sufficient. Their livelihood does not depend on getting a boyfriend. Therefore, most of them, when they see a guy they're interested in, they are going to display some sort of interest. I strongly believe this. Girls out in the real world aren't like the ones here on MAL and Yeah, they don't ask men out. But they do things that will show a man they're interested. And this works conversely for cute girls. Girls, if you're interested in a guy and you do small things to show you're interested and he doesn't take the bait at all, trust me, it means that he's not interested. Discuss. |
Star_BoyMay 31, 2015 8:29 AM
Tsuyuu said: So if a girl of her type rejects you, it's very probable that girls of that type just aren't attracted to you. I'm sorry, but your logic is absolutely flawed in this case. It's just not true. She might be your type, but that doesn't mean all girls who have red hair+green eyes like ONE SPECIFIC type of guy. That's just bullshit. Same with personality, just because a girl is e.g. shy and nice doesn't mean she's only attracted to overly confident comedians or something. Tsuyuu said: I don't buy into the whole thing about how girls actually are interested but are too shy. An interested girl may not ask you out directly but she will do small subtle things that show she's interested. Even the most shy of girls do it. No. A girl might not give you any hints at all, I've had many crushed that I barely ever talked to and never made any effort to communicate with them AT ALL. I was very shy and often cold towards people even if I actually liked them. I assure you that other girls are the same. Not all, but some. Sorry, but I feel like you're trying to generalize girls and their behaviour way too much. There's no "girls do this", "girls like that" when it comes to personality. |
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ViolettSky said: aw god i really hate this stuff because im so stupid that i cant understand this No. A girl might not give you any hints at all |
| Signature removed. Please follow the signature rules, as defined in the Site & Forum Guidelines. |
| Oh, another dating thread. So original. |
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| You serious OP? I have been rejected 100s of times but have been on dates because I play the number games. Ya sure it sucks but after you get rejected so many times, you tend to just brush it off, tell the person to have a good day and move on. All these "players" play the same game. I am attracted to all sorts of girls and if I see one in the street that is interesting, I will approach. Life is too short to give a damn about some random girl rejecting you. Do you want to be those guys when they are on their death bed saying 'I should have taken more risks and stop being so scared to live life?" Brush it off and keep doing your thing. |
Gov said: You serious OP? I have been rejected 100s of times but have been on dates because I play the number games. Ya sure it sucks but after you get rejected so many times, you tend to just brush it off, tell the person to have a good day and move on. All these "players" play the same game. I am attracted to all sorts of girls and if I see one in the street that is interesting, I will approach. Life is too short to give a damn about some random girl rejecting you. Do you want to be those guys when they are on their death bed saying 'I should have taken more risks and stop being so scared to live life?" Brush it off and keep doing your thing. I do try, I try alot. I've been rejected roughly 75-80 times now, with different girls. It's worst when they reject even your offer to be friends with them. Never had a girlfriend in my life |
| Love is not important for me, i'm content being alone. I'm too selfish to share my life with someone. |
Tsuyuu said: I do try, I try alot. I've been rejected roughly 75-80 times now, with different girls. It's worst when they reject even your offer to be friends with them. If it makes you feel worse OP Ive actively turned women down as they've tried to drag me into the bedroom just cause. |
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Tsuyuu said: Gov said: You serious OP? I have been rejected 100s of times but have been on dates because I play the number games. Ya sure it sucks but after you get rejected so many times, you tend to just brush it off, tell the person to have a good day and move on. All these "players" play the same game. I am attracted to all sorts of girls and if I see one in the street that is interesting, I will approach. Life is too short to give a damn about some random girl rejecting you. Do you want to be those guys when they are on their death bed saying 'I should have taken more risks and stop being so scared to live life?" Brush it off and keep doing your thing. I do try, I try alot. I've been rejected roughly 75-80 times now, with different girls. It's worst when they reject even your offer to be friends with them. Wow wow why are you offering them to be your friends? That is just desperate? Just tell to take care and walk away. No need to get a pity friendship with a women who isn't interested in you. 75 to 80? I been rejected a shit ton more than you and ya it is rough in the beginning but eventually you start to improve the way you talk, the nerves go down and you start to realize it isn't so bad. Working out and improving yourself first is something you might do if you have very little success. |
| I'm not trying to get a gf, that said I often fantasize about a qt3.14 coming and blowing me out of the blue |
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| I don't give a shit about having one. People's lives seem so dependent on having one nowadays. Like having a girlfriend is a fucking solution to having a miserable life. |
Baelish said: Good guy, Baelish.Tsuyuu said: I do try, I try alot. I've been rejected roughly 75-80 times now, with different girls. It's worst when they reject even your offer to be friends with them. If it makes you feel worse OP Ive actively turned women down as they've tried to drag me into the bedroom just cause. |
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Baelish said: Tsuyuu said: I do try, I try alot. I've been rejected roughly 75-80 times now, with different girls. It's worst when they reject even your offer to be friends with them. If it makes you feel worse OP Ive actively turned women down as they've tried to drag me into the bedroom just cause. i lol'd so hard over this but i probably shouldn't have :'X |
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| I've had my share of failed relationships but it doesn't bring me down beacause I'm still looking for someone who I could spend the rest of my life with. I've already found two such people in my life but due to various personal reasons I was unable to make it happen. Since I've already found two what's to stop me from finding number 3? I'm only 24 I have plenty of time. |
| I did give up, for about 8 years, then my friend's girlfriend introduced me to someone a month or so back and it's been going pretty good so far. Remember, in job interviews, erm dating, it's not what you know it's who you know |
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Baelish said: i cant unthink of petyr saying these very wordsTl;dr so I'll reply to the title and hope its right I did give up on the dating game because I realized my life as is it wouldn't be right to enter into a relationship. Like jumping into buying a house before you are financially ready. I have to fix a lot of things first before I can even consider bringing someone into my life as a partner. It wouldn't be fair on them or myself. I don't want a guilt tripped carer right now. pls OP, just find a gurl already instead of making up personal woes |
| Society hasn't caught up to the 2D life, solitary life, and other alternate lifestyles. |
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| You need to change your perspective on the word 'rejection' from "end of the world" to "life has something else in store for me"... A partnership should exist when two people can mutually inspire one another to live. This is destroyed morally in western society, & the idea that you'll find the 'perfect partner' in your own backyard (town, city, etc) is a false hope. From what I have seen in some enlightened animes there is a more accurate depiction of love in eastern culture. I am from the states, have never been out of them but I know if/when I find a 'soulmate' it will most likely not be in the states. Not to say it can't happen, & you can only find out what you like/don't like by dating. Just remember "I'll love me for you, if you love you for me" |
| The wolves are at my door... And I can see the writing on the wall. |
-YunoGasai said: Do NOT try to become friends with a girl. This is a mistake, don't try befriending, try flirting with her instead. You're right on the money, it takes little time at all to fall into a category. It took me some time to spot it but you have a small window when you meet a girl to show which side you fall on. Acquaintance, friend or Boy Friend material. A lot of guys get friendzoned because they made themselves out to be friends instead of a potential partner. I can now spot it when im talking to girls I can feel when im straying into friend type. You have to initiate flirting pretty early. |
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-YunoGasai said: Tsuyuu said: It's worst when they reject even your offer to be friends with them. Never had a girlfriend in my life I'll admit I am not a great situation myself atm. That being said, I will give you a vital piece of advice. Do NOT try to become friends with a girl. This is a mistake, don't try befriending, try flirting with her instead. When you make a move for a girl you need to make her aware that you are a potential partner, not friend. Act a little 'disinterested' too. You want to try and create the illusion that you have other options. There is a difference between looking cute for a woman, and looking needy for a woman. (Also do not try and be too sexual with the flirting, you can a bit, but give it time, you do not want to creep her out, or end up sounding rude for no apparent reason.) Best of luck. tried it once, got told i was creepy |
Tsuyuu said: tried it once, got told i was creepy Do you.....groom? Just sayin if I don't dress smart, style my hair or use products I get the creep looks too. After dressing up I get the bedroom eyes hell I once had a girl undress my crotch with her eyes and bite her lip. Sexy as.. Not bragging or anything....  |
SpooksMay 31, 2015 10:59 AM
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ViolettSky said: Tsuyuu said: So if a girl of her type rejects you, it's very probable that girls of that type just aren't attracted to you. I'm sorry, but your logic is absolutely flawed in this case. It's just not true. She might be your type, but that doesn't mean all girls who have red hair+green eyes like ONE SPECIFIC type of guy. That's just bullshit. Same with personality, just because a girl is e.g. shy and nice doesn't mean she's only attracted to overly confident comedians or something. Tsuyuu said: I don't buy into the whole thing about how girls actually are interested but are too shy. An interested girl may not ask you out directly but she will do small subtle things that show she's interested. Even the most shy of girls do it. No. A girl might not give you any hints at all, I've had many crushed that I barely ever talked to and never made any effort to communicate with them AT ALL. I was very shy and often cold towards people even if I actually liked them. I assure you that other girls are the same. Not all, but some. Sorry, but I feel like you're trying to generalize girls and their behaviour way too much. There's no "girls do this", "girls like that" when it comes to personality. I like this post. I'll give my thoughts on everything once I get back from work, but it wasn't until I was 21 did I learn not to generalize as he has done here. I kinda want to talk more about that... later though. For now, work! |
| being rejected in the double figures, something is not right... |
 All credit goes to Sacred. |
| I never tried getting a girlfriend, too shy to even talk to a girl. |
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| We are a socialize being man, we need each other. But yeah, It's usually to get lucky. On a positive note, im sure the ppl who reject you are happy they are liked by others and who knows they might change their mind latter on. The trick is to start off real small and slow, and have your eye on that person and not give up on them. Honestly though, i admire people like you who basically is like complimenting every woman with ur fast approach. |
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NiN10d0h said: Is it so hard to consider that if a girl rejects you, maybe she just isn't interested in a hook up/relationship? Baelish said: Do you.....groom? This too. Believe it or not, going days without bathing or "not giving a fuck" about how you look isn't cool. If you look like a bum, you'll have very little success with women, unless they're ugly. i take showers every day plus i take good care of myself |
-YunoGasai said: Tsuyuu said: It's worst when they reject even your offer to be friends with them. Never had a girlfriend in my life I'll admit I am not a great situation myself atm. That being said, I will give you a vital piece of advice. Do NOT try to become friends with a girl. This is a mistake, don't try befriending, try flirting with her instead. When you make a move for a girl you need to make her aware that you are a potential partner, not friend. Act a little 'disinterested' too. You want to try and create the illusion that you have other options. There is a difference between looking cute for a woman, and looking needy for a woman. (Also do not try and be too sexual with the flirting, you can a bit, but give it time, you do not want to creep her out, or end up sounding rude for no apparent reason.) Best of luck. I call bullshit. The best type of love stems from friendship. It is because partners lack a healthy dose of friendship that they encounter a lot of troubles later on.. If you are not yet an adult I can see where this is coming from. Anyway, I agree with the part about not being needy and flirting/joking around is definitely good as well. Just don't make cheap compliments, rather try to be funny and generally a person that a girl/woman would like to be around :) |
Vanessa-May 31, 2015 1:41 PM
| I never go after a chick unless there are signs that she likes me back. If she doesnt like me back, then I wont do any "moves" to get her. I know, I gotta change my mentality, but thats just the way it is at the moment. |
| I currently have a gf and tbh, before our 2 year relationship I didn't really seek a relationship, but once I saw how cute her personality was I started actively seeking conversations with her and the feedback was positive. So I hadn't exactly given up, but I didn't really make much of an effort to go out of my way to talk to someone. It's too stressful if you think about it all the time and especially so, if you consider that any person you pass on the street may be a good match for you, but you can't talk to all of 'em. If you see even something that stands out in someone that interests you, even if just a little - greet them. If it's out in public, try to make it quick - greet, compliment, then ask for contact info. Usually if someone is out their busy with something. It's a lot easier to get into a relationship with someone if you have a higher chance of seeing them more often. I can see what you mean about rejection being personal. In no way, however, does a certain "type" of person mean that all other same "types" of people will reject you too. Trust me, that is not the case, haha. You won't know until you try, as the saying goes. |
"There is nothing outside of yourself that enables you to get better. Everything is within. Seek nothing outside of yourself." ⛩️  |
lolatusenpai said: Yeah, fapping is better and safer. It has been said. |
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| That's way too long to read, man. But based on your title, I will try to give a serious response. I haven't given up, but I'm also not trying to get a girlfriend. I mean, I already have one. But if I didn't, I could care less if I was single for the rest of my life. Just cause you're single doesn't mean that you can't have casual sex. So it's all good. |
| I've got too much shit to sort out. Getting a gf isn't a priority. |
Alice said: I call bullshit. The best type of love stems from friendship. It is because partners lack a healthy dose of friendship that they encounter a lot of troubles later on.. If you are not yet an adult I can see where this is coming from. No hes right if you don't show someone you are interested in her as more than friends early on it can just evolve into a friendship in which she won't see you as a potential partner anymore. Let it go on too long without showing sexual interest and you get the 'like a brother speech' women like having friends but they rarely consider a friend as a sexual partner, it becomes awkward I imagine other uses will agree that thinking about having sex with your close friend you have known for some time would be awkward. Even women have pointed this out to me. |
SpooksMay 31, 2015 4:16 PM
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| You should never give up on your dreams |
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| Sad. |
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| my bf is the best yo |
| I'm not really the type to make the first move, as I find it very improper to do that. I just believe that he's going to come when the time is right. |
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| I probably shouldn't take part in the discussion, having never been in a relationship, but shouldn't it be something that just happens? Looking for a partner seems very desperate to me and even if you do get a girlfriend this way, I somehow doubt it's gonna be a good relationship (at least most of the time) |
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