beast_regards said: Uncrowned_King said: And green is just awesome lol Dear voices in my head, stop chatting when I am trying to screw a loli In your case, they're not chatting. They're filming. ù_ù |
 "You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| There is no shame in having someone look at your work as an editor. No professional would advise you to go without one. We can only self check so far, even if it IS you native tongue, we tend to skip over errors assuming we wrote it correctly the first time. I wouldn't mind helping you out if you needed it, I respect you for trying on your own, but ultimately there is no issue in having an editor. Those of us that don't are either too lazy to ask or just don't care enough to have it edited. anyways, on to reading this chapter ^^... and seeing what you made Green say this time @w@ Read it: ... well at least green doesn't like BL... Well all in all the grammar wasn't too bad. Tense needs some work as well as some other general grammatical mistakes but not bad. Now to the plot: I had to go and look up the MGE on the Dormouse again when you posted about the demonic energy... I forgot that this is one of the few that encourages men to rape THEM... um good luck Sydo :S and maybe ask next time before eating a strange fruit in an foreign world :P |
New_User_12345Jul 8, 2014 9:32 AM
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| I said the dormouse was dangerous... Surprised that demonic energy seemed to scare off the centipede, it's certainly possible...but I would have expected almost the exact opposite result =) |
greatgreenman said: ... well at least green doesn't like BL... plot twist; he does diogora said: -sighs- I wish my dad had taught me how to throw knives i taught myself how to, its not hard. getting show off good though? that takes a lot of practice. if you want i can tell you how you can teach yourself (keep in mind we probably learn differently though XP) SydoKiller said: Sorry for posting this chapter earlier than I'm used to, but I really had to write that announcement. Sorry everyone à_à >:( post more chapters more frequently |
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Clarus_Nox said: greatgreenman said: ... well at least green doesn't like BL... plot twist; he does >:( *summons angry crowd with pitchforks* what'd ya say? |
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greatgreenman said: Clarus_Nox said: plot twist; he does >:( *summons angry crowd with pitchforks* what'd ya say? hey sydo is the author in this one not me |
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| Y-yeah... there was totally a misunderstanding there ù_ù |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
SydoKiller said: Y-yeah... there was totally a misunderstanding there ù_ù he trying to get away green!! after him!!! |
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| Maybe I should start posting my comments here like a normal person instead of Pm? XD Love that fail at the end with the Apple. The commentary between the trio is hilarious as always. Don't worry too much on the grammer because you'll get better as you go. :) |
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Crowlage said: Maybe I should start posting my comments here like a normal person instead of Pm? XD Love that fail at the end with the Apple. The commentary between the trio is hilarious as always. Don't worry too much on the grammer because you'll get better as you go. :) <3 Do as you wish man, I do have a few people that prefer sending me PMs. Maybe commenting here you could be able to join an eventual discussion or make new acquaintances I guess XD |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| You ate poisonous fruit in one bite.... smh man smh |
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MoniStar said: You ate poisonous fruit in one bite.... smh man smh It quite usual that man do stupid things to impress a woman ... |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
beast_regards said: MoniStar said: You ate poisonous fruit in one bite.... smh man smh It quite usual that man do stupid things to impress a woman ... It's quite usual for dumb people to do dumb things in general. ù_ù |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| its the human experience! |
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| Aww, what happened to the oomukade???? Also, I didn't think your latest chapter detracted from the experience at all. |
| Small advice: in the first page you can find the chapter list with links to every chapter. I'm updating it so that you'll be able to see how many chapters are ready but not posted yet, and at what point of the story you're in :P Thank you for the attention ù_ù --------------------------------------- Chapter 6 - Fated encounter ”H-hey Sydo! Could you tell me a story about one of your adventures?” “Adventures you say? *gulp* Y-yeah... sure! L-let's see...” As we were walking through the woods I started talking about an old fairy tale I knew to the little girl, using me as the main character obviously. I couldn't get enough of that enchanted stare of hers as I was narrating loudly. A couple of hours passed, but we still couldn't see anything but trees on our way. ”Eeeeeek!!” A near bush suddenly shook, frightening Primula, that quickly run hiding behind my back. “D-don't worry, it's probably some kind of big bird... or a raccoon...” My face suddenly changed color as the animal slowly got out from the bushes. “...or a freaking BOAR!” The wild beast was huge and its eyes were screaming in crazy rage. That was more than enough to alarm me. Music track “W-what's this? It's like I can hear some kind of music... is it telling me to fight?! Y-yeah, it must be! Maybe I'm just going insane but my body must be trying to give me motivation! My body is burning with EXCITEMENT!!” ... “EXCITEMENT MY ASS!! This music is just freaking distracting!! Make it stop!!!” [ *super loud music* ”Aaaaaaaargh! My ears! Green for the fuck sake, turn that thing OFF!! è_é” ”Oh my god this thing is amazing! Wohooo! XD *turning the stereo volume at MAX*” ”I'm so excited that I don't even care asking where Green took that from! Go Sydo! Kick that boar in the balls!!” ”Ok, that's it! Green look! Flying naked ladies! *pointing at the sky*” ”WHERE!? WHERE!? @_@ *arf arf*” ”*turns the stereo off and throws it away* There we go!” ”Nuooo! My battle soundtrack! D:” ] As I was frozen in fear I felt a tiny hand pulling my shirt. Primula was looking at me, with her big teary eyes. My brain started working again. I wasn't alone anymore, someone was depending on me now. The boar was not waiting for us and began running towards us. I quickly pushed the girl in a near bush and I shouted as loud as I could to get its attention. I was trying to plan something while the animal was chasing after me. That thing was fast, I had to do something quickly. I knew that I couldn't just throw a knife at it since it wasn't sharp enough to make some real damage and it would probably just make the beast angrier. As we were reaching a big tree I noticed a big old branch not far from us. I then hoped that if I could hit it and make it fall on my chaser maybe I could distract it enough to be able to hide somewhere. “Ok then, now or never! Please hit!* My knife was able to make the branch fall as I was hoping for, but it went behind the boar, that didn't care at all. “*Screaming like a girl*” The animal took advantage of my failure to get closer. It then struck me with violence, making me fall on the ground. I was somehow able to not loose consciousness but there was no way I could endure another hit. I was coughing on the ground, watching the dribbling beast approaching slowly. But suddenly my attention was occluded by the sight of a big figure, standing between me and the boar. Despite the wind was moving her long purple hair I still couldn't see her face properly, but it was clear that she was furious. ”Don't you dare touching him again, you filthy beast.” Everything happened in a moment. With a fast movement the girl struck the beast with her tail. The hit was so violent that threw it against a tree with a loud noise. After getting up again the animal limped away, scared from the look full of rage of the girl. I was completely astonished. That scene was so incredible that felt unreal. A strange living being was standing in front of me, with her upper body of a girl and the lower half of a huge centipede. Our eyes met and I unconsciously moved back. As she noticed my reaction her expression got sorrowful. “Wait! I-I...” She then turned her back at me and left quickly, without saying a word. I wanted to stop her, but everything happened too fast. I was so confused that I felt like my head was going to burst. Seeing her disappearing in the distance made me feel an abrupt pain at my side. But that wasn't where the boar hit me, it was the strange bug bite that I had from the last night. The image of that girl's tearful face suddenly popped up in my mind. “I've met her before... that night... why was she crying..? Primula! I have to go back!” I hurried back where I left my little companion. She was still there, trembling inside a bush, and once she saw me she jumped in my arms crying with joy. ”I was afraid that you wouldn't come back! D-did you beat that scary animal? Really??” “Sure! What did you expect? A wild boar or two are nothing for someone like me! Gahahah! You've done well hiding until now, I'm proud of you!” Primula giggled at my compliment while I was trying to remove all the leaves that were stuck on her ruffled hair and I indulged myself in their sweet smell without noticing. ”S-Sydo... it t-tickles a bit...” I finally realized that my left hand was actually under her clothes. Something on her chest took the attention of my fingers. “W-WHOA! I-I-I'M SORRY!” I quickly put her down and I started headbutting violently against a tree to shake off my thoughts. Once I stopped I looked at her again. “Primula, I have to ask a favor of you.” She rose her head toward me despite her face was still completely red in embarrassment and firmly squeezed her pillow. ”Y-yes?” “Before leaving this place, there's someone I want to meet. Will you help me searching for her?” The little Dormhouse seemed somehow disappointed with my words, but her expression changed quickly, showing a strong determination. Sure! You can count on me!! Her bright smile filled my heart with an indescribable warmth. That was why I was trying so hard. That was why I couldn't turn back to be the same person I was before. I wanted to see hers too now. I wanted to see the smile of a sad, lonely girl. Chapter 6 – End Next Chapter: Sadness and tears are the words the heart can't say |
SydoKillerSep 5, 2014 3:52 AM
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| wow.. sydo's a pussy :P |
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| Bravo!! Bravo!!! *aplauds loudly* tho Sydo's a pussy :p |
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| I'm sad to see that you don't need me anymore but happy to see you are doign very well on your own. I love the chapter and sydo bashig his head in, classic pervert move hehehe |
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| Sydo @w@ pussy or not, you're still our Sydo |
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| Sydo now fully embraced a new trend. No story is completed without the voices in your head playing a music loud. |
| Signature removed. It was too good for this cruel world. |
| Must be some kind of boar infestation on the island... I'm pulling for you Sydo! Before you know it you'll be taking advantage of that poor girl in her sleep and telling her the next morning that you were just making sure nothing else got up in there while she was asleep. =) |
beast_regards said: Sydo now fully embraced a new trend. No story is completed without the voices in your head playing a music loud. Embraced? This beautiful motherfucker innovated the "Voices in your head" routine. Kudos for a hilarious chapter... Takes a load off from the other, more stressful stories! |
| It's natural for a person to deny he's a failure as a human being. That's why he searches for somebody who is more miserable than himself. That's why so much animosity exists on the internet. Those who aren't able to find a more miserable person, turn to the internet and call other people losers, even though they've never met. Just to make themselves feel superior. isn't that pathetic? There's a sense of security that comes from speaking badly of someone else. But that isn't true salvation. — Tatsuhiro Satou YandereTheEmo said: The only thing more pathetic than quoting someone you know nothing about, is quoting yourself. |
| We're just getting started my friends, we're just getting started! |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
SydoKiller said: We're just getting started my friends, we're just getting started! Cannot wait for more... I expect some major plans are afoot, no? *Smiles while touching Sydo* |
| It's natural for a person to deny he's a failure as a human being. That's why he searches for somebody who is more miserable than himself. That's why so much animosity exists on the internet. Those who aren't able to find a more miserable person, turn to the internet and call other people losers, even though they've never met. Just to make themselves feel superior. isn't that pathetic? There's a sense of security that comes from speaking badly of someone else. But that isn't true salvation. — Tatsuhiro Satou YandereTheEmo said: The only thing more pathetic than quoting someone you know nothing about, is quoting yourself. |
YandereTheEmo said: SydoKiller said: We're just getting started my friends, we're just getting started! Cannot wait for more... I expect some major plans are afoot, no? *Smiles while touching Sydo* First, yes. Second, NOPE. |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| @Emo: I'll hold him down @w@ |
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| “Sure! What did you expect? A wild boar or two are nothing for someone like me! Gahahah! You've done well hiding until now, I'm proud of you!” Wow what a way to take advantage of the situation. He's digging himself a bigger whole every chapter. XD Once again I loved the comedy trio. They're awesome. Looking forward to chapter 7. |
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SydoKiller said: “*Screaming like a girl*” i havent laughed hard at one of these stories until now |
|
Chapter 7 - Sadness and tears are the words the heart can't say ”Big sis! Big sis, the trap worked! We've caught something big this time!!” Amazoness A young amazoness was running towards her sister, shouting in excitement. After hearing her words the older one stood up from the rock she was sitting on and followed her. After a small walk they reached a clearing in the forest, where someone was fighting in front of them to make her way out of a trap made of countless sticky threads. ”Ha! I can't believe it! To find something like this in such a place, this must be our lucky day!!” ”H-hey sis, do you know what this thing is?” ”Yeah. It's an Oomukade... an insect type monster. Holy crap, we're going to make a lot of money with this! Some people could buy her for a lot of gold in the slave market!” ”Eeeew... why is that? To buy something gross like her... *giggle*” ”It's because monsters like her are really rare to see around. They always hide inside of dark stinky caves... I wonder, why is she in a place like this...? W-wait a second! Don't tell me...! Don't tell me you were searching for a partner! Ahahahah! This is way too hilarious!” She started laughing loud, pointing at the trapped girl in front of her, poisonous words kept coming out from her. ”No one would ever accept you, look at you! You're nothing but a terrifying monster! Ahahah!” The poor girl at those words stopped squirming. With a furious look she spitted on the amazoness leg. ”H-how dare you! You filthy bitch!” The older sister, with her face distorted in anger picked up a rock and threw it at the Oomukade, hitting her on the forehead. A small drop of blood came down slowly from her wound, but she didn't flinch at all. She was still looking straight at the amazoness eyes with her stare full of hate. ”*Tsk* Fight as much as you want, those are spider girl special threads. We spent a lot of money to get them, they won't break that easily. Sis, let's go. We'll rest a little and then we'll head to the market. There won't be any time to sleep tonight, we're going to have some fun!” ... [ ”Hey Green! *throws a rock at Green*” ”Yeees? :D *turns towards Red*” *THUD* ”Gyaaaah! Why did you do that! It freaking hurts! >.<” ”Oh ho... so it does really hurt... that girl must be pretty badass to be able to react like that.” ”*facepalm* Wasn't that obvious? ” ”Well, it's fun to throw rocks at Green anyway. ù_ù” ”...Eheheh... I-I might end up enjoying it actually... *anf anf* ”D:” ”D:” ] The scene I saw made me feel so bad that I thought for the first time about hitting a girl, like seriously... a straight right on her faces. But something was definitely off with that place. I remembered the centipede girl hitting that boar with all that strength... and those girls were some kind of slave hunters... they were probably formidable enemies too. No, that wasn't a thing that human strength could handle at all. Were humans and these creatures so much different after all? I and Primula were hiding inside some bushes, near the little amazoness camp. As I was studying the situation Primula spoke. ”Are you going to save that poor girl?” “Yeah... I'm indebted to her. Also, I can't forgive them after what they've said to her... and the slave trade...” ”You can do it right? You're the strongest after all!” “I'm afraid I can't do that... you know, the fight with that boar really made me tired... we have to think about something to let her escape.” Fortunately enough Primula believed my words, and soon after that she raised her eyes and stared at me. It seemed like she already had something in her mind. ”Sydo... you've saved me so many times already, but I still haven't been able to do anything for you. I felt like I was completely useless, but I wanted to help you! In these days I've trained myself in secret with something. Only this time! Let me help you and trust me! Please!” I was really worried about her when she talked about helping me, but the look in her eyes was something I had never seen before. She has always been hiding behind me, crying for eveything. But what I saw in her that time was confidence and determination. Someone who is trying his best to help others... someone that wants to change... ...Everyone is the protagonist of their own story... “Show me what you can do, I'll be by your side to protect you.” I gently patted her head, watching her cute resolute expression. Then we carefully walked towards the camp, as the two sisters were sleeping near a little firecamp, we stopped close to them. I was starting to fear that Primula wanted to strangle them in their sleep with her tiny hands. Then she raised her hand to her mouth with a light movement. The little Dormouse whispered something I couldn't understand, then she breathed gently on her palm. A faint azure breeze gathered around the amazonesses and slowly disappeared. I was completely fascinated by the scene that had just taken place before me. Seeing my astonished face Primula spoke to me again, despite she was looking pale and really tired now. ”Sleep magic... Dormouses usually learn it when they grow up... it's still early for me, but since they were already asleep they shouldn't wake up easily now. I'm not used to my powers yet... so I really need to sleep... save that poor girl like... like you did with me...” The little girl fell in my arms, completely asleep. I could even hear the amazonesses snoring now, the sleep magic worked. I carried Primula near the place the Centipede girl was and after leaving her leaning against a tree I looked up. That's when our gazes finally met. Chapter 7 – End Next Chapter: What if you forget grinding when you're getting close to the first boss? |
SydoKillerSep 5, 2014 3:53 AM
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| *grumble grumble* Being mean to cute centipede girls... You better never stop being a hero to the cute mousey too or we'll get a team of hunters after you! |
SydoKiller said: ....... Sydo... we need to have a talk @w@”...Eheheh... I-I might end up enjoying it actually... *anf anf* Hmm I see the hero facade falling apart sometime in the near future, you're going to break Primula's little heart Sydo... but its okay, when she runs away leaving you all alone, you'll still have me and all your Sydalkers to make you feel.... better ;) |
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| Sydo u sure have a flare for the Dramatic i cant wait to see what's next. Also i agree with Green u are going to break Primula's heart when she finds out, i highly doubt u can keep up the pretence for much longer, i wonder how u would be able to handle that situation |
| Will shit start to go down from the next chapter? Look forward to it my friends! Also... GG said: you'll still have me and all your Sydalkers to make you feel.... better ;) STAHP |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
| S-Sydo's T-Ticklish A-Around H-His P- ;) XD |
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| Everyone is the protaginist of their own story.... nice words my friend and nice chapter... though i would like it if they were longer but thats just me good job |
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| What if you forget grinding when you're getting near to the first boss? Answer:You're screwed! Happen so many times to me. >. < The character build up between Primula and Sydo is very well done. I'm liking that bond they have with each other only meeting one another recently. The fact that she wants to help him as much as she can because he's been "protecting" her all this time. Primula didn't want to go after that girl but if it means helping her "claimed hero" than she'd do what's in her power to help. Let's see what's in store for chapter 8! :D MoniStar said: Everyone is the protaginist of their own story.... Forgot about this, that's a really good quote. ^-^ |
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| Interesting as usual Looking forward to thr development and lol, that red, green and blue re hilarious |
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| i thought i was reading dio's for a bit when i read amazoness XD nice you took some lines i planned to use down the line XT keep up the good work |
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| very nice ^^ *should probably continue his own story* |
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diogora said: very nice ^^ *should probably continue his own story* you arent the only one XD right now im running something by su to confirm if its within the rules or if i need nerf it more |
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Clarus_Nox said: diogora said: very nice ^^ *should probably continue his own story* you arent the only one XD right now im running something by su to confirm if its within the rules or if i need nerf it more If you think you might need to nerf it, you probably should =P |
emeraldtryst said: Clarus_Nox said: you arent the only one XD right now im running something by su to confirm if its within the rules or if i need nerf it more If you think you might need to nerf it, you probably should =P i already did before presenting it i dont see why it'd be not allowed but im asking to be safe |
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greatgreenman said: S-Sydo's T-Ticklish A-Around H-His P- ;) XD ive seen you talking bout stalking Sydo and such but by chance i happened upon the club and well,.... wow is it open to anybody? |
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| oho~ Sydo suddenly became heroic~ I likey :P |
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Clarus_Nox said: greatgreenman said: S-Sydo's T-Ticklish A-Around H-His P- ;) XD ive seen you talking bout stalking Sydo and such but by chance i happened upon the club and well,.... wow is it open to anybody? Everyone is welcome to spread the love/stalking of Sydo ^^, we bar no one lol Join in the Sydolesting, it's marvelous fun @w@ |
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Darkness-Ryu said: Really enjoying this so far man now that I've caught up. Really love the comedy with green, blue, and red. Reminds me of something: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. There they are standing in the row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head. Give 'em a twist, or flick of the wist. That's what the sharmen said. lmao! an that reminds me of TFS DBZA |
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Clarus_Nox said: Darkness-Ryu said: Really enjoying this so far man now that I've caught up. Really love the comedy with green, blue, and red. Reminds me of something: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. There they are standing in the row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head. Give 'em a twist, or flick of the wist. That's what the sharmen said. lmao! an that reminds me of TFS DBZA hahahaha XDDD |
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Clarus_Nox said: Darkness-Ryu said: Really enjoying this so far man now that I've caught up. Really love the comedy with green, blue, and red. Reminds me of something: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. There they are standing in the row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head. Give 'em a twist, or flick of the wist. That's what the sharmen said. lmao! an that reminds me of TFS DBZA I laughed my butt off XD |
"You keep changing the shape of your eyes. How does that even work?" -AbhLeaderKrelian |
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