Sexuality isn't something you choose, is it? At one point in life, you just kind of realize your attractions differ from what is common or accepted. If you're a working adult, dedicating their spare time to their hobby (anime), chances are you won't run into children that much. So, if you find out that you find sexual depictions of lolis attractive, how could you know for certain that this goes for real life children as well? You could do 'research', but sexuality doesn't equal morality: I'm sure most lolicons (with a right upbringing) would rightfully be disgusted by the thought of doing this 'research'.
This means, I think, that a lot of lolicons are probably uncertain about this. And so they just hope that their attraction is exclusive to anime, and can you blame them? Most societies, for good reasons, condemn pedophilia, meaning that, if given the choice, most want to believe they're 'not that kind of person'. But this brings me to my starting point: every pedophile once believed they weren't one. You only fully realize you're homosexual once you've repeatedly fallen in love with the opposite sex. (Quick disclaimer: I'm not arguing that most lolicons are in fact pedophiles without knowing it, I only think that most understandably refuse to ascertain it.)
This is a very risky move here, but I might as well use myself as an example for further illustration. I find Renge from Non Non Biyori very adorable (who doesn't?), but the mere thought of sexualizing her utterly disgusts me. But when I watched Shoujo Ramune, I was... not disgusted? In fact, you could say it, well, y'know, did its job...
And so I thought, and still think, to myself: what the hell is going on?! Is it because Renge is sympathetically characterized as an innocent child with distinct personality traits, whereas the lolis in Shoujo Ramune are presented from the get-go as soulless sexualised objects? I honestly couldn't tell you, as I've been in this state of confusion for some years now and don't expect it to be resolved anytime soon. It is a major contribution to the self-hatred I regularly experience.
Basically, what I'm trying to say here, is that the debate surrounding 'to be or not to be a lolicon and pedophile' isn't just confronting and discomforting to 'normal' people. Having your sexual orientation not align with your moral compass, can lead to a fragmented self, an identity crisis, self-hatred, and all the other 'good stuff'... |