June 2nd, 2008
My story. Read if you feel like it.
Well I've been writing stories for a couple of months now..
I really don't know where to publish them but here.
If you have any comments about them, please do tell me, because I am dieing to know what I could improve about it.
Just remember that I am not an actual American so my English isn't 100% perfect grammar wise...
So if you can help me with my stories from any direction please do.
Heres my first story:
The Elemental Hero's:
It was a bright day.
The sun was shining in the middle of the sky.
There were so few clouds in the sky that the bright blue sky was vigilant to all.
Down below, a forest was seen, and along with it a road which went over a hill.
The road was seemed to be carved by a ruff force, which went over and over in the same direction.
All of a sudden a roaring voice was heard.
But it wasn’t an animal's roar, but a mechanical roar.
A cloud of sand was seen heading towards the dirt road.
It was coming close in a very fast speed.
And then, it was seen, a hovercraft which sped its way through the dirt road, towards the hill.
There were two people inside the hovercraft a male and a female.
The male looked in his 20's.
He had short pointy-black hair, blue eyes, and wore something which looked like a hybrid between armor and a normal T-shirt.
The female, which looked about 16-18, had long flowing black hair.
Her eyes were brown and glowing, but dreamy and unaware.
She unlike her companion wore full body armor.
Inside of the craft, there was a radio playing some country song.
The hovercraft it self looked quite old by the looks of it.
It had parts of it which were already rusty and crumble, and some of the parts just weren’t there.
"Are we there yet?" asked the girl.
"No." answered the male, in a tone of which he knew this was coming.
"How much more?" she asked him.
"I don't know… I seriously don't know." he answered annoyed.
"Can't you speed this thing up? I'll probably miss the initiation."
"Amy."
"Yeah?" she answered.
"Shut up already, you're giving me a head ache."
"Rachel, sure will be pissed off, ya know." she said trying to tick him off.
"Look! I know were not on schedule! But that's your fault! Miss 'I can't wake up at 5 am!'" he shouted at her.
"Oh… come on! As if you can!" she shouted back at him.
"And watch the road! You nearly took out that squirrel." she shouted at him, as he almost ran over the little critter.
"Whatever… Just be quiet for a bit, alright?"
A few minutes passed, and again the silence was broken.
"Are we there yet?" she asked him.
"No." he answered with a temper.
"Are we there yet?" she repeated.
"No." he answered yet again.
"Are we there yet?" she asked for the third time.
"Yes."
"Really?" she asked with excitement.
"No. Ha-ha." he said and started to laugh.
"Jerk… how long?!" she shouted impatient.
"Amy, for the Light Mistress's sake! I don’t know!" he shouted back at her.
"What ever…" she said displeased and took her sight back to the window.
The minutes passed yet again, and something was starting to take shape in the horizon, the immense picture of a huge academy like building.
The facility was gigantic, yet still distant, the ground which was laid before it, was apparently a park of some source.
The park itself, was filled with people which either wore armor like Amy or her companion, the sight seemed as if it held thousands of people.
The people just kept coming in and out of the academy, along from various directions.
For instance, one of the areas that the mobs kept on flowing seemed like a library.
Another of these areas was seemingly a cafeteria, for the windows there showed lots of tables, and people eating.
Yet the most attractive of the facilities was the main one, in the middle of the entire area.
It was the biggest, and tallest.
It was a quite impressive sight, and was seemingly the most important of the buildings.
"Oh my god…" said Amy with astonish.
"Ha… Been some time, but it's still the same. Gods I missed this place." said her companion, as the hovercraft was soaring under a huge sign which said; "Welcome to Academy Element for W-Class."
The hovercraft stopped near the side of the road connecting to the largest building.
"Okay… remember, Rachel is waiting for you, oh never mind, here she comes.
Remember not to cause anything bad over there alright?
Mom and dad will be furious if they hear my two sisters cause any trouble in the most famous academy in the count."
"Yeah yeah, whatever you say, big bro."
An armored figure came walking the road towards the hovercraft.
She was a bit taller then the other girls, and held a sword near her waist.
She had long blond hair, and her eyes were sapphire blue.
She was walking down the path with quite a happy tone.
She looked a bit younger then her own brother.
"Hey Amy! Hi Matt." she said to the two.
"Hey Rachel." said Amy to Rachel.
"You ready to start living the ruff life?" she asked her.
"I think so, but it isn't gonna be seriously tough is it?" asked Amy.
"Nah… after the first week you get used to it. So how's our brother been treating ya?" she asked and instantly looked at Matt.
"What?" he immediately said in response.
"Oh… I wouldn't worry about him, hell get his just desserts." she said and smirked at him.
"Whatever… now would you get out of the car? I've got... stuff… yeah stuff to do." he said in hesitation.
"Stuff?" asked Rachel in curiosity.
"Yeah… Stuff!"
"Oh… I get it! You're going on a date again!" Amy said and started to laugh.
"Well good luck lover boy." Rachel said and closed the door behind her sister.
"Hold on a minute, a date? You mean with Rhonda? Wow… You must be seriously in love ha?" said Rachel mocking her brother.
"Hey! It's none of your business okay?!" he said to his sister while blushing.
"Whatever, just go on… you don’t want to keep her waiting." she answered back at him.
"Noisy sisters… Oh god why me?!" he shouted and started to drive away.
The two watched as their brother zoomed on beyond the hills.
"Well… welcome to E-Academy." said Rachel, and grabbed her sister by the shoulder, and walked her down the path.
"It's your average place for average potential people… Let's just hope you survive more then a month eh?" she said with a smile to her sister.
End of Episode One- Are We There Yet?
Next Episode- The Two Domains.
I really don't know where to publish them but here.
If you have any comments about them, please do tell me, because I am dieing to know what I could improve about it.
Just remember that I am not an actual American so my English isn't 100% perfect grammar wise...
So if you can help me with my stories from any direction please do.
Heres my first story:
The Elemental Hero's:
Episode One- Are We There Yet?
It was a bright day.
The sun was shining in the middle of the sky.
There were so few clouds in the sky that the bright blue sky was vigilant to all.
Down below, a forest was seen, and along with it a road which went over a hill.
The road was seemed to be carved by a ruff force, which went over and over in the same direction.
All of a sudden a roaring voice was heard.
But it wasn’t an animal's roar, but a mechanical roar.
A cloud of sand was seen heading towards the dirt road.
It was coming close in a very fast speed.
And then, it was seen, a hovercraft which sped its way through the dirt road, towards the hill.
There were two people inside the hovercraft a male and a female.
The male looked in his 20's.
He had short pointy-black hair, blue eyes, and wore something which looked like a hybrid between armor and a normal T-shirt.
The female, which looked about 16-18, had long flowing black hair.
Her eyes were brown and glowing, but dreamy and unaware.
She unlike her companion wore full body armor.
Inside of the craft, there was a radio playing some country song.
The hovercraft it self looked quite old by the looks of it.
It had parts of it which were already rusty and crumble, and some of the parts just weren’t there.
"Are we there yet?" asked the girl.
"No." answered the male, in a tone of which he knew this was coming.
"How much more?" she asked him.
"I don't know… I seriously don't know." he answered annoyed.
"Can't you speed this thing up? I'll probably miss the initiation."
"Amy."
"Yeah?" she answered.
"Shut up already, you're giving me a head ache."
"Rachel, sure will be pissed off, ya know." she said trying to tick him off.
"Look! I know were not on schedule! But that's your fault! Miss 'I can't wake up at 5 am!'" he shouted at her.
"Oh… come on! As if you can!" she shouted back at him.
"And watch the road! You nearly took out that squirrel." she shouted at him, as he almost ran over the little critter.
"Whatever… Just be quiet for a bit, alright?"
A few minutes passed, and again the silence was broken.
"Are we there yet?" she asked him.
"No." he answered with a temper.
"Are we there yet?" she repeated.
"No." he answered yet again.
"Are we there yet?" she asked for the third time.
"Yes."
"Really?" she asked with excitement.
"No. Ha-ha." he said and started to laugh.
"Jerk… how long?!" she shouted impatient.
"Amy, for the Light Mistress's sake! I don’t know!" he shouted back at her.
"What ever…" she said displeased and took her sight back to the window.
The minutes passed yet again, and something was starting to take shape in the horizon, the immense picture of a huge academy like building.
The facility was gigantic, yet still distant, the ground which was laid before it, was apparently a park of some source.
The park itself, was filled with people which either wore armor like Amy or her companion, the sight seemed as if it held thousands of people.
The people just kept coming in and out of the academy, along from various directions.
For instance, one of the areas that the mobs kept on flowing seemed like a library.
Another of these areas was seemingly a cafeteria, for the windows there showed lots of tables, and people eating.
Yet the most attractive of the facilities was the main one, in the middle of the entire area.
It was the biggest, and tallest.
It was a quite impressive sight, and was seemingly the most important of the buildings.
"Oh my god…" said Amy with astonish.
"Ha… Been some time, but it's still the same. Gods I missed this place." said her companion, as the hovercraft was soaring under a huge sign which said; "Welcome to Academy Element for W-Class."
The hovercraft stopped near the side of the road connecting to the largest building.
"Okay… remember, Rachel is waiting for you, oh never mind, here she comes.
Remember not to cause anything bad over there alright?
Mom and dad will be furious if they hear my two sisters cause any trouble in the most famous academy in the count."
"Yeah yeah, whatever you say, big bro."
An armored figure came walking the road towards the hovercraft.
She was a bit taller then the other girls, and held a sword near her waist.
She had long blond hair, and her eyes were sapphire blue.
She was walking down the path with quite a happy tone.
She looked a bit younger then her own brother.
"Hey Amy! Hi Matt." she said to the two.
"Hey Rachel." said Amy to Rachel.
"You ready to start living the ruff life?" she asked her.
"I think so, but it isn't gonna be seriously tough is it?" asked Amy.
"Nah… after the first week you get used to it. So how's our brother been treating ya?" she asked and instantly looked at Matt.
"What?" he immediately said in response.
"Oh… I wouldn't worry about him, hell get his just desserts." she said and smirked at him.
"Whatever… now would you get out of the car? I've got... stuff… yeah stuff to do." he said in hesitation.
"Stuff?" asked Rachel in curiosity.
"Yeah… Stuff!"
"Oh… I get it! You're going on a date again!" Amy said and started to laugh.
"Well good luck lover boy." Rachel said and closed the door behind her sister.
"Hold on a minute, a date? You mean with Rhonda? Wow… You must be seriously in love ha?" said Rachel mocking her brother.
"Hey! It's none of your business okay?!" he said to his sister while blushing.
"Whatever, just go on… you don’t want to keep her waiting." she answered back at him.
"Noisy sisters… Oh god why me?!" he shouted and started to drive away.
The two watched as their brother zoomed on beyond the hills.
"Well… welcome to E-Academy." said Rachel, and grabbed her sister by the shoulder, and walked her down the path.
"It's your average place for average potential people… Let's just hope you survive more then a month eh?" she said with a smile to her sister.
End of Episode One- Are We There Yet?
Next Episode- The Two Domains.
Posted by Cynxos | Jun 2, 2008 11:33 AM | 0 comments
Hya...
Well if you made it here into my little heaven of A&M, I hope you realize its not that recognized.
The fact is that I'm no hardcore A&M guy... Only due to the fact that I'm at my 11th year at school so I really need to study my ass off.
But the fact remains that summer break is around the corner, and I'll soon be able to become the crazy and evil otouko I oh so desire to be.
If you really want to chat and what not, don't hesitate to leave a comment, and I'll be sure to talk to ya.
The fact is that I'm no hardcore A&M guy... Only due to the fact that I'm at my 11th year at school so I really need to study my ass off.
But the fact remains that summer break is around the corner, and I'll soon be able to become the crazy and evil otouko I oh so desire to be.
If you really want to chat and what not, don't hesitate to leave a comment, and I'll be sure to talk to ya.
Posted by Cynxos | Jun 2, 2008 11:17 AM | 0 comments