emperortopaz's Blog

Dec 13, 2018 7:13 AM
Anime Relations: Himouto! Umaru-chan, Himouto! Umaru-chan OVA, Himouto! Umaru-chanS, Himouto! Umaru-chan R
This is the Five-hundred-and-twenty-third week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*We begin the blog at Topaz's blog once again. However, instead of Ririchiyo another cute hime cut loli welcomes you.*

: Ugh, you're here already-W-wait, sorry. I wasn't ready Ni~pah.

*Rika lets out a sigh, smacks her cheeks, and smiles cutely.*

: As you can see, Topaz is still in his filthy lazy mood from last week. The garbage is starting to crowd into the hallway now, but that's not the biggest problem...

*She continues walking towards Topaz's room, stepping over bag and bag of trash. She then opens the door.*

: HEY! Close that door!

: Ugh, natural light...

Now my manga will fade! And I had just arranged them by reading, lending, and safekeeping!

: Everyone knows that you don't buy extra manga, Topaz. At least on purpose. But RIRICHIYO! Why have YOU become so lazy?

*Indeed, as while Topaz and Anzu were lazy last week it seems that Ririchiyo has joined them. She's wearing her track suit and laying on Topaz's bed on her stomach. She is even wearing glasses, even if her image doesn't show that.*

: What's the point of working hard? It's all just wasted energy.

: Don't tell me that Anzu got to you too!

: Get to me? No, she just taught me how to calm down and relax for once...

: Another satisfied customer.

That's right. There's nothing like lazing about all day.

: But what about your BLOG, Topaz? I know that I don't usually care for it, but you'd be letting down so many people if you suddenly stop.

: I'm sure that the one or two people who read this will get over it in just a week or so. Then Topaz wouldn't be as busy writing every week.

Exactly. All that wasted energy. And for what? Some dumb points that are meaningless?

: I'm sure that people are still interested in what you think of girls, even if the points don't matter too much.

: If the don't matter then... *yawn* why keep up this facade?

: Because the journey is most of the fun! You have a lot more to offer than just descriptions and such!

That's right. I also have terrible opinions as seen in the past. Like preferring an unsightly cow to the superior Yozora though the latter deserves more love both in the series and in real life as well. And I apologize to her too! Especially how I misjudged her personality so much due to poor research. I also apologize to Colette for being so unfair in the past towards flat girls (though she should show off her ass more), and she also has issues with me not appreciating her enough. At least I'm better than just hating her outright like a lot of people seemed to, but hopefully she's been better received compared to when her game came out. Then again I'm nothing but a terrible hack who doesn't deserve to have his thoughts written down.

: That's what you get for working hard. Nothing but trouble, and if you work you lose!

: That said, isn't there another person you need to apologize to?

I think that's it.

: What about Arrester?

Well, that's the opposite problem. Certain characters, particularly busty meganekkos, tend to get my libido going a bit more and I'm inspired to write terrible fanservice scenes. Especially in January for some reason. It must be my own way of dealing with the winter doldrums. Still, between Arrester, Chisato, and Sakie it's been a common issue and I apologize to my fans for being so selfish.

: Well, if the blog reaches next year you'll have to make sure you don't fall into such trouble.

I sure hope that won't be a problem...

: That's all fine and good, but what about the other issues with Arrester's blog?

Oh, that issue. I also apologize for having her wet herself. I blame that being a lot of the “comedy” of the series she's from coming through, as I did that a lot back then. I apologize for that still.

: This is the laziness apology ever...

What do you expect from this month?

*Topaz lazes on the bed besides Ririchiyo.*

: See? Isn't everything better with laziness? No need to apologize for things that you don't do!

: I'm sure that if he stops blogging now he'll have a lot more apologies for inspiring other people to work on them instead! Speaking of which, it's THURSDAY!

Already? Where did the week go?

: It doesn't really matter. Everything is a waste so play games. And Topaz is so flustered by me wearing glasses that he lets me win most of the time.

Y-yeah. Let you win...

: Kukuku, I'm so glad that it was easy to convert you two to my side.

: You'll never convert ME! I'll call a responsible imouto! Then you three will get your act together!

*Rika uses the phone to call someone, being in the other room as she does so. The other three are curious, but too lazy to actually follow her.*

: All done! Now, let's hope she gets here soon.

: Maybe she'll bring pizza too!

*A knock is heard on the door, and Rika goes to get it.

: That must be her.

*She goes to let in the responsible imouto.*

: See? I knew that she'd come quickly!

: But of course. Us responsible little sisters need to stick together.

*The mysterious girl scans the room, talking as she does so.*

: And it looks like you got me here just in time. It seems that there's not much more that this room can take!

: That's right, as those three have been crowding into the hallway!

*She continues to look around the room, but finds a game console.*

: W-WAIT! IS that the classic Playstation?

That's right! The old version too, not the terrible new version that uses downscaled games either!

: That's like ancient! C-can I play?

Of course!

: N-no! You have to get Topaz to do his blog!

*The responsible imouto then shrinks down to a mini chibi size.*

: But VIDEO GAMES!

*The chibi then sits down and plays games on the console.*

: And I thought I was a small lazy girl...

: You're all lazy though! Topaz, do your blog properly!

I GUESS. Hey, Umaru. Do you want me to blog you?

: Not now, Topaz! I've got to break all your high scores!

Before that, do you want to let me talk about you?

: Of course! As long as my friends don't hear about it, and I can game the whole time!

: Hey, that sounds like fun. Hand me a controller.

: Sure, and let's start with versus mode!

*Rika sighs*

: Now why didn't this work?

You underestimated the seductive power of procrastination and laziness. But speaking of which, since she said that I could talk about her...

Today's girl is:



Umaru Doma
from
Himouto Umaru-chan


==Head==
===Hair===
Umaru has pretty nice hair. It could be darker, as it's a light tan or even blonde color (mostly light tan, at least to me) but the color isn't too bad otherwise. More importantly is that her hair is long and pretty straight. You have to wonder how much maintenance she does even though she's lazy that her hair looks so good and straight. Umaru's hair does reach her hips, where it may cover her ass at times but I'm not immediately sure if that happens. When in chibi hamster form her hair hits the floor due to how much shorter she is, though I obviously prefer her taller form. Umaru's sidelocks reach about to her chest, framing her face pretty nicely. She has spiky bangs, with different lengths though the middle seems the longest. Overall Umaru's hair isn't that bad, the color is a little lighter than I'd like but brown is fine and I like her long straight hair. There's some variety as well, though I should probably mention that as a chibi (and, occasionally, in her taller form) she tends to wear a hamster hood to lounge around in. It extends down like a cape, covering a lot of her hair which is a downside. Oh, and she also wears a nice hat as UMR.
Grade: B

===Eyes===
Umaru's eyes are pretty nice too. Like her hair (usually) her eyes are brown but a much deeper shade. I think that, from the color pages, that her eyes are slightly darker in the manga than the anime (or there's something different that makes them seem deeper, I'm not sure what). Umaru doesn't have a lot of outline to her eyes, only having it on top which is kinda unfortunate as the whites of her eyes melt into her face a little (at least to me). The top is nicely accented though, even if I'm not sure if it's a tsurime or tarame. It looks both straight yet rounded, which tends to go towards tarame, but it's hard to tell. Either way her eyes look nice. Her pupils are nice and round too, with a lovely color as mentioned before. There's a bit of shininess in the anime as well. Sadly I don't think Umaru wears glasses other than for gags in her chibi form (including sunglasses), but the domino mask (or whatever mask that is) she wears as UMR looks a little like glasses. Shame she doesn't take after her brother in this regard.
Grade: B-

===Face===
I'll mainly focus on her taller form here, like I've been doing throughout. Umaru's face is nice and acorn-shaped, which as mentioned before is well-framed by her hair. She has a small dot-like nose which I like, and she has a lot of great silly expressions. Even in her taller form Umaru is very cute because she tends to show her emotions well (even if that's moreso with just her or her brother Taihei). Still, Umaru is very cute. The chibi version is cute too, but more in an animalistic or mascot way. I blame her head being very rounded, almost oval shaped perhaps. Still, she does pretty well overall here.
Grade: B-

==Body==
===Build===
As said before, I'll be focusing most of Umaru's points with her taller form. She has a height measurement as well, at 160 cm from what I could tell, which isn't too bad. She also has a fair waist and navel as well, and her hips are shapely as well. On the rare occasions where her ass is shown it's pretty cute, but obviously could be bigger. She doesn't have any other measurements either. She does have a blood type, which is AB, though I don't usually mention it. Overall Umaru looks pretty good, but that's just her tall form. While cute I can't find the chibi version of her attractive in the least. While I wouldn't call her a potato or something, being as small as she is is kinda small. She's got no curves in that form, and her legs and arms are very stumpy and small. She's just too squat or child-like to enjoy. There was an imagination sequence where her chibi form fought a “virus” version of herself and hit her ass with a leek, which is a waste of that idea due to not seeming sexy at all. That said, Umaru's tall form isn't too bad so that helps her out. I suppose that we shouldn't think too hard about her shrinking or growing either, as it's unknown if it's metaphoric or literal, with her actually shrinking to a small size. Considering there's nothing else fantasy-or supernatural about the story there's no reasonable reason for her chibi form if it is literal. Then again, that's thinking too hard about it and we shouldn't consider how much stress she's putting on her body each time she does this. Just forget about that and enjoy both forms nicely.
Grade: B-

===Chest===
Umaru is sorta mixed here. As mentioned before she doesn't have exact measurements, but she does seem somewhat busty. She does have some small issues as a result, but fortunately for Umaru Ebina exists. And unfortunately for the rest of us. Ebina is the main cow of the series, getting a lot of the mamocentric scenes and as a result keeping Umaru from having to deal with those issues. Occasionally she gets a moment or something, but it's not too bad and Umaru herself is about average as far as the series goes. Well, her tall form of course. As mentioned before the chibi hamster has no curves, and as a result is completely flat. Like a girl that small really should be.
Grade: B

: So do you like my body or not? It seems like you could go either way.

It depends. I do find your taller form attractive, though you could show your ass more and make it bigger (though the same could be said for any anime girl really). For the purposes of this blog though, your smaller form which is a comedic chibi doesn't do too well. I find it funny, and as the main... I don't want to say gimmick but another better word can't come to mind, maybe main “appeal” but that doesn't fit. Regardless I do like that aspect of the show, even if it doesn't grade too well. You're just too squat and child-like to enjoy like that, as mentioned before.

: So basically you like her chibi form for humor's sake but not sexually.

Pretty much. Though I'm not sure how much of this is physical or not. The more you get into how the conservation of mass and other physic things like what happens when her bones reshape and organs shrink the more disturbing it becomes.

: Ugh, isn't it obvious? She doesn't want to be lugging around useless weight so she constructed a version of herself that is much smaller. Just don't think about it too hard.

I suppose not. Umaru is cute and that's the important part.

: Indeed. Just concentrate on it being a part of her metabolism and the reason she needs to eat a lot of junk food is to maintain this form of peak laziness.

: I've never considered how much this body takes to maintain... I should thank Oniisan though I do that anyway!

Agreed, which is more than the haters think of you. They also dislike your small body, calling you an “orange potato” or something but I bet that's just because they have the brain the size of a pea and are mamocentric. That said, we should probably get to the rest of the blog.

: Blog away!

===Clothes===
Umaru's main outfit seems to be her school uniform, though she has quite a variety of outfits. Her uniform consists of a white shirt with collar, a red bow ribbon, and a red pleated skirt. Occasionally she wears a red blazer as well. She also wears thighhighs to accent her legs. When in chibi hamster mode Umaru tends to wear a comfortable-looking white shirt with a hamster hood with attached cloak. Outside that it still seems that Umaru has a hamster motif as well. Anyway, other outfits for Umaru include a few types of bikinis, some other cute casual outfits, a competition swimsuit, a tennis outfit, a lab coat, a sundress, and her UMR gamer outfit with a jacket, black shirt, and shorts. As mentioned she also has a nice hat, though she keeps her hair up while wearing it. There's possibly other outfits I missed that were used in a gag or something similar, but my memory is quite bad it seems. Overall while there are some nice outfits (such as the nice blazer uniform) Umaru doesn't have too much to offer as far as I'm looking for.
Grade: B

==Mind==
===Personality===
Umaru has a very great, if polarizing, personality. On one hand, her outer form acts “perfect” in public. This means that she has good grades, is kind and friendly, and is very beautiful as well (in-universe, I mean). However, once home she becomes a chibi hamster with an otaku hikikomori only shown in private. She just lazes around and eats junk food, plays video games, and watches anime. This does mean that she is really good at a lot of games, winning some competitions as well. She dislikes hard work and doesn't want to help out around the house (even if she does occasionally). She does seem like a brat, but I wouldn't say that myself (as I'm certain many terrible people have said). I'd say it's more that she has a very rough personality, but I imagine that the stresses of being “perfect” lead Umaru to live this double life. She's even ashamed by it, hiding it from her friends. That said, her friends also help her to open up and they have some trips together too. She also respects her brother a lot more in the second season it seems. Overall Umaru is a great and entertaining hamster, and anyone who dislikes her probably has problems with her being too close to themselves and projecting their own insecurities. She's a good girl, if a little rough around the edges.
Umaru is voiced by Aimi Tanaka. She's a good VA and does the two versions of her voice really well (even if the chibi version is a little more high-pitched than I'd like, but still not too bad and I like the OP/ED songs she sings too). As far as I know, Umaru is Aimi's most famous role though she did the sheepy Koromi from Twin Angel Break. Still, she has a nice voice.
Grade: A-

: I don't care about haters, as I'm still incredibly well liked!

That you are, and also important is that I'm a fan.

: Considering you did a blog on her and she's not a villain, I think that people could already tell.

: Wait a minute. I've read old blogs and you seem to dislike characters who live double lives. What makes Umaru so special?

: Besides you know, the ability to assume a chibi form and your general enjoyment of otakus or lazy girls.

I think it has to do with context. Umaru is from a comedy show, which helps as her dual versions are portrayed in a comedic fashion rather than a double-faced one. She's also slowly improving at it as well, trying not to bother people as much as she did earlier and having respect towards others. Finally, what helps her out is that she feels bad and doesn't want this secret to get out. It's like having a way of cooling down from her so-called “perfect” life that she has to put up. It's an escape, rather than using it to manipulate people.

: I do sorta manipulate Oniisan, but the haters blow it out of proportion!

Exactly! People complain about you likely because they live in their parent's basement and have nothing better to do.

: ...Well, at least you're not in the basement, Topaz.

Exactly! Now, let's continue the blog!

===Libido===
There are a lot of pairings for the cute Umaru. Probably the most likely one is Taihei, her older brother who she lives with and takes care of her. Umaru has a lot of sweet moments with her brother, even if she's kinda bossy most of the time to him. Certainly I support Umaru more than Ebina for him, even if I prefer older sisters but all four main girls are little sisters so it shouldn't matter much xD. But indeed, I do support Taihei and Umaru's romance. As far as yuri goes, the chibi version of Umaru has Kirie call her “master” even if the dark-haired girl thinks the two forms are two separate people. She is also idolized in her taller form by Kirie, who treats Ebina as a rival. Speaking of rivalries Umaru, as UMR, is Sylphinford's rival and the two battle in games all the time. This could be seen as a form of shipping, but I don't think that is too accurate. Umaru herself is also a little perverse, playing the occasional perverse game but at least she's not a fujoshi (as far as I remember).
Grade: B-

===Age===
Umaru is 16, which is pretty good and puts her about in high school range. It's good that she has a set age as well, even if she is younger than her main “love interest”. Her birthday is September 26th, in case you were curious.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 70
Average score: 7.8
Final Grade: B

And that's the blog for this week! What did you think of it?

: Ehhh? You're done already? I effectively just started playing!

: You've been playing the whole time!

: That's why I said “effectively”. I just got here and I plan to keep playing all night long!

You can't play here all night. I have to sleep in the morning.

: Ni~pah. But I'm sure that you'll love having girls in your room keeping you up at night!

: I imagine we're a little too young for Topaz's tastes. Especially the squat Umaru.

: W-what?! You can't say that about me!

: Oh? But you didn't do nearly as well as I did! Oh ho ho.

: That's true! Topaz, give me better points!

*Umaru shakes Topaz's leg with her full chibi body.*

Now now. You did as well as you could. Remember that you still got a pretty good score, and that I still like you quite a bit. Especially compared to all the haters, who I don't understand at all.

: Maybe you like lazy girls because they remind you of yourself.

That is completely possible. Nothing wrong with that, of course.

: Of course not. Laziness is the one true pleasure, one that everyone can enjoy. People need to learn how to slow down and appreciate life.

*Anzu eats a donut as she lays back, casually eating it slowly.*

: It's still unfaaaiiirrr!

Don't think that a tantrum will make me change your score. Besides, I'm the one that's letting you stay here for now.

: That's true.

: This is getting to be a big sleepover-like thing. But the anti-work group will not rest until our demands are met! 365 paid vacation days a year! Eight days off a week! Endless use of internet and electricity and every other utility!

That would truly be a perfect world...

: I agree with that. And I suppose that the ability to live in such a perfect world of sloth is worth a somewhat-low score.

Again, it's not that low in comparison. Though I do blame your chibi form as even if it's funny and entertaining thinking too hard about your mass shrinking so quickly is bad. Luckily I'm able to forget things like that.

: So what, you're just going to keep lazing around for the rest of your life?

Sounds like a good plan!

: Eight days of vacation a week!

: And endless rivers of cola!!

*The chibi chugs from a liter bottle of cola.*

: Come on, Ririchiyo! Please tell me that you have at least SOME sanity left! Get Topaz in gear and kick the lazy girls out!

: I don't mind it too much. This way of life is much easier, and I'm finally able to catch up with my reading...

: Even YOU, Riri? This problem is worse than I expected! Sounds like I'm going to have to use some DIVINE INTERVENTION for next week!
Posted by emperortopaz | Dec 13, 2018 7:13 AM | Add a comment
It’s time to ditch the text file.
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