emperortopaz's Blog

Back to emperortopaz's Blog

This is the Four-hundredth-thirty-eighth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

Welcome back everyone. We're here on the outskirts of town ready to face an opponent.

: Way, WAY in the outskirts. I'm honestly surprised that you walked this far.

Cacophony: Huh, for some reason I thought that the town was closer. Like just last week.

Don't point out my retcon ways. What's important is that I'm going to defeat this foe.

: Do you really think you can do something that ridiculous? I'd like to see a pathetic fool like you try!

: As you can tell, our foe is a powerful one.

You can tell by the Wakamoto voice in particular. Anyway, last week we took a look at the assy Akane from Vividred, and this week I'm going to summon a powerful ally.

: Get on with it, Topaz.

: Indeed, bring me my next foe! I await your challenger! Then, after I defeat them I'll defeat you and this "Cacophony". Then, the WORLD!

*Cell clenches his fist intimidatingly.*

: Not Dio, that's the Joestar's main adversary! Though I suppose that he does need to be defeated.

Right, I haven't seen a family so plagued by a vampire since the Belmonts!

: Though the two of them are pretty close together if you judge by when they were originally created.

A lot of great things are thirty now, such as me!

: But I thought you said "great"! (Wait, I can't make a joke like that. Sigh, hopefully he doesn't mind another long apology-I mean handwriting practice!)

: A-HEM! As riveting as your walk down memory lane is, I'd rather we end that now. Topaz, was it? I believe that you had someone you wanted me to beat-I mean "meet", but I suppose that it would lead to a massive beat down.

Cacophony: What he said, summon your pathetic girl!

We'll see what you think when I do THIS!

*Topaz creates the summoning circle, getting down on his hands and knees. A burst of magical energy occurs.*

: That's it?

Hmm, seems something went wrong. Maybe-

*Suddenly a girl falls from the sky. She's dressed in a witches hat and eyepatch, brushing herself off after standing up. She then puffs out her small chest and boldly starts talking.*

: I am MEGUMIN, Arch wizard who is descended from the Crimson devils. Fufufu, Who is the one who is so bold as to summon a mage of my calibur?

: He is.

*Ririchiyo points to Topaz.*

That I am.

: So you're the weakling that requested my aid.

Exactly, and I have a task befitting your power!

: Of course, I should have known you were in need of my explosion magic. Now, what must I do?

Defeat him.

*Topaz points to Cell, who once again poses.*

: So this puny girl is the one that you've chosen to defeat me? I could break her even with just one hand!

*Megumin has a silly worried face, with sweat coming down her face. She also removes her eyepatch, even if the writer is lazy and didn't feel like changing her image. She then turns to Topaz and grabs his collar, shaking him back and forth.*

: Why did you call me to do such an impossible task? He'll be able to snap me right in two!

That shouldn't be a problem for your explosion magic.

: I need TIME to cast it though. If he interrupts me it's kaput!

: Curse you long cast times!

Hmm, let's think about a plan.

: You three do know I can hear you. I'm just right over here.

: I know, distract him somehow.

Like what?

: I don't know, just buy us some time to come up with a plan!

: Wouldn't it just be better if he bought us time for you cast the spell instead?

: Where's the fun in that? I want to be able to prove my strength!

Besides, I don't want to be exploded on.

: Wait, I know. Why don't you distract him by doing your blog?

Sounds like a good plan. But I can only do it if Megumin allows me to.

: What is a "blog"?

: He talks about you to other people.

*Megumin backs up slightly, covering her body.*

: He won't mention anything... bad, right?

I make no promises. But at least you'll be treated fairly.

: I suppose that's the best that we could ask for. But I'm still not sure...

I'll let you name the blog title!

: Are you sure ab-

: *interrupts* SURE! Now go ahead and talk about me.

: When am I ever going to fight?

After this, but for now let's point out that...



Head
Hair: Megumin's hair is mostly short, in a sort of bob cut look. There are two long strips behind her ears (I think) that goes past her shoulders and looks nice. The short hair does fit her, and I like the dark brown color too. Megumin has fairly average bangs, with a long middle one that nearly reaches her nose. Of course, the most noticeable feature about Megumin's hair is her hat. She wears a big witches hat with a color that matches her hair (or so). It also has a face with a zig-zag-ish mouth and two big red buttons as "eyes". It's a really cool hat, and adds a lot to Megumin's character so it's a shame there are occasions where she doesn't wear it. Still, Megumin is quite excellent here.
Grade: A-

Eyes: Megumin has a pair of gorgeous eyes. The color is really excellent, with a dark red that works well with her dark brown/red color scheme. They're also tsurime most of the time, though the KonoSuba art style is... inconsistent to say the least. Her manga/LN pupils seem to be more rounder and have more color as well, which I like. For chuunibyou reasons she also wears an eyepatch over her left eye. I'm not a big fan of eyepatches, and the fact that Kazuma, the male lead, pulls on it with the intent of having it snap back is quite poor (I dislike eye injuries). Still, I do really love her red eyes and it's a shame she doesn't wear glasses to aid her score.
Grade: B

Face: Again we run into the fact that KonoSuba has a fairly loose art style, and the "face" is likely one of the most apparent areas. DEEN really went with "quality" as far as the faces go sometimes, but I still find Megumin's expression to be mostly positive. Her face is also quite well-shaped, looking younger than the rest of the cast and with a small nose and other features. She's just such a cutie.
Grade: A

: Hey, Topaz.

Yeah?

: I've always wondered this, but where do you get the girls you summon?

I usually pluck them out of whatever they're doing at the time to bring them to me.

: That sounds like it could cause some problems!

Luckily nothing like that has happened yet. Though that does make me curious. What were you up to before I called you here?

: Oh ho ho, you should know that being a powerful Arch wizard means I am quite busy. Now, let me think...

*Meanwhile, at the mansion where Megumin stays another wizard is standing outside.*

: Oh boy, today is the day I'll finally defeat Megumin once and for all! She even promised she wouldn't make an excuse or leave early. Hey, MEGUMIN! COME OUT AND FACE ME!

*Yunyun waits for a short time.*

: Don't tell me she went back on her promise. But I ate all those meals to make me gassy for our farting contest! How could she leave without telling me first!

*We return to outside the town. Megumin has a worried but silly face, and responds in a near-mechanical fashion.*

: A-absolutely nothing! You were lucky to get me in a rare moment of down time, yes.

That sounds suspicious...

: Something really stinks here.

: I-I don't know what you're talking about!

PPPFFFFFWWWRRRRRTTTT

*Megumin turns red and squirms her hips.*

: Did she just...

: S-sorry, I ate a lot of gassy food recently!

Don't worry. I'm just surprised that you would fart outright like that.

: True. It's not like there's anyone around that would care.

BBBBFFFWWAAAUUURRRRTTT

*Megumin lets out another fart, this time without shame. She even bends her back to stick her ass off and waves the gas.*

: *Cough cough.* As rank as that is, I do hope that isn't the extent of your "explosion" magic. Then again, against me any attack by you will likely have a similar effect...

: Oh YEAH? Just wait until I hit you with the might of my explosion magic!

: Go right ahead. I'm waaiiittiinnggg...

: Sure. Just, er, let's wait until Topaz is finished talking about me.

: Oh sure, make me wait even further. But fine, continue your pathetic blog.

Cacophony: Why are you waiting for them to finish? Go right ahead and wipe them clean off the face of the planet!

: I might as well let them have their fun now. Because if we were doing things my way... *Smirks* There wouldn't be a speck of life left on this forsaken planet...

W-well, let's get going with the blog on.

: Good choice.

Body
Build: Megumin has a really good loli body. Not one of the best I've seen, but still really great. She seems to have nice-shaped legs in the novels though the anime makes her thighs seem thinner somehow. She is unfortunately shorter than the love interest Kazuma, but that happens due to the age difference. Of course, we can't forget about her ass! Even if we did get that stupid trolling moment in the second season. At least she's still shown her bare ass in prior episodes, even if it wasn't a closer shot. Still, she's got a pretty nice ass and that's likely her most attractive feature (even if Aqua has her beat there). I would like to mention that at one point in the second season she bows and really looks nice teasing glimpsing up her skirt. She also goes to the bathroom at one point, but I won't go into detail. Overall while not one of the best loli bodies she does get treated (mostly) fair and I do think she's quite attractive.
Grade: A-

Chest: One thing that's not "explosive" about Megumin is this area here, and thank goodness. She's about the only one that's not bouncing around in a horrible fashion most of the time it seems, all thanks to her flat chest. It is dumb that she gets jealous of the other girls, especially her rival YunYun, for such poor reasons. That said, in the OVA Kazuma at least mentions that he purposely presses her chest against his back when carrying her, making it seem like he at least appreciates her flatness a little (though he's still an idiot part of the time). Overall, despite my complaints about the girls around her Megumin does just fine here.
Grade: B+

Clothes: Megumin suffers here more on variety than on how cool her outfit is. As a chuuni she dresses in a really awesome outfit which consists of a red dress with gold trims, a dark cape, fingerless gloves, a belt, and on her legs she wears a thighhigh on her left leg and bandages on her right thigh. It looks really cool, and the color scheme works as red/black usually does. Underneath she seems to wear black panties (judging by what Kazuma stole from her). She also has a pair of pajamas she sometimes wears at home as well. Official art does help Megumin out though, with things such as a black bikini or a frilly red one, a red sukumizu-like swimsuit with yellow frills, a red cheerleader outfit (though she's not shown well), and a red and black somewhat gothic-loli outfit with thighhighs. In the novels it seems she's worn a black fancy dress, a pink school uniform with striped necktie, a sarashi under a red bra and skirt with her cape, and probably many others I couldn't find. Megumin was also drawn by the official artists in a couple maid outfits. The loads of outside source images do help, but I wouldn't mind seeing her in more outfits in the series proper.
Grade: B

Mind
Personality: Megumin's personality is simply amazing. She's a chunnibyou in a fantasy-style world who took up the role of Arch Wizard because it gave access to the spell "Explosion". And that's the only spell she knows. She can only do it once per day, and she says that if she doesn't she'll die (she likely wouldn't). Still, it takes so much effort out of her that she faints afterward, and even just taking a little of her magical energy could make her useless for that day. She still just focuses on the one spell, which takes quite the dedication. The reason she idolizes the spell is that her life was saved by a spellcaster that used the spell. She's also from the Crimson Demon clan, which are quite the chuunibyou themselves. Megumin seems to be a common name among them, and she gets insulted if you mock her name. Speaking of Megumin's background, it seems that she's from a poor family and part of the reason she bullied Yunyun as a child was to win her meals (as Megumin would give hers to her younger siblings). She continues to send them money, using the bare minimum on herself. She also has a unique taste on names but it was a funny moment. Megumin is likely somewhat grounded, about as grounded as Kazuma sometimes which the two seem to bond over. Megumin is voiced by Rie Takahashi, who does a good voice that fits her slender frame and great explosive power. Because the KonoSuba and RE:Zero writers seem to be real life friends (which explains some overlapping jokes or similarities) the latter has Emilia (also voiced by Rie Takahashi) speak like Megumin in one of the previews. Apparently Megumin was also voiced by Maaya Uchida in the Drama CDs, which would have been funny as her most famous role was Rikka from the Chuunibyou show. Overall Megumin is a really amazing character, and is often said to be the best character in the series (which explains why she got the spin-off).
Grade: A-

Libido: Megumin does eventually fall for Kazuma, but from what I've heard they don't get together in the end. One of them gets cold feet, again from what I hear (though she believes this to be because she thinks it's an adult tactic. She's seems more direct in the original web novels). Still, it's kinda a shame that Megumin insults Kazuma whenever he compliments her body or tries to peep. She also gets to name his, well, "sword" as the Holy Sword Excalibur but the less we speak of that scene the better. Megumin is a bit clingy to Kazuma after Darkness admits her feelings though, and she also brags about her relationship with Kazuma when she meets her high school friends from what I've read. Sadly Megumin's spinoff is a prequel and not an alternate universe where she explodes the non-Aqua girls and wins the day herself. At least as far as I know. There's also some yuri interraction between her and YunYun, a childhood friend, but that's played more as a rivalry. Overall she could stand to be a little more perverse, but Megumin does somewhat fine here.
Grade: B

Age: There is a surprising amount to talk about here. Megumin appears to be 13-14, and there are times in the series where she's not allowed alcohol due to her age. She also gets treated as a child sometimes, and Kazuma is called a lolicon when caught with her while both are naked (though I suppose that may also be due to her slender body). What's really surprising is that, in the web novel (meaning the original series) Megumin is actually 17! Still, I'm basing this moreso off the age she's more well known as.
Grade: B-

Total Grades: 81
Average score: 9
Final Grade: B+

And that's the blog for the week!

: Hmmm, not too bad.

: That's actually a lot higher than I expected.

: I-I see then. Oh ho ho, Of course I would score well. Such things are of little matter to me!

Cacophony: Aren't you forgetting something?

Like what?

: ME!

*The three heroes jump back.*

: Isn't it about time for you to battle me? Or at least amuse me for a short time...

: D-do I really have to?

Looks like it.

: Just don't let him punch you!

: Sure, I'll just cast my anti-punch spell-

Oh, I'm surprised that you have one of them.

: It's good for wizards to maintain their utility. Though that spell sounds like one of the only ways to deal with a certain bald hero...

: I DON'T HAVE ONE! I meant that as a joke but then you kept talking and-*sniff sniff*

Don't cry, Megumin!

: Really, are you that terrified of me? How about this then: We'll instead have a showdown of special moves. That way you'll be able to show me your true power!

: *sniff* Really? Then what's the catch?

: No catch. I'll allow you to cast your spell or whatever for free.

I'm cautious about that smile there...

: It is quite suspicious...

: Well, I don't know what sort of catch this is going to have but I'll agree to this! It'll be the only way to get my spell off without interference.

: Exactly. Only one thing that you should know...

: What's that?

: I'm going first-MAKANOUSAPPOU!

*Cell shoots a drilling beam at Megumin, who narrowly avoids it by diving away. Topaz and Ririchyo avoid it as well, and it destroys a nearby mountain though fortunately no one was harmed.*

: WHAT THE?! How did he manage to use that?

Well, he does have Piccolo's genes. And really, it's just a filler attack.

: I mean more that he used it so quickly. Didn't it require like a couple minutes of charge-up time or something?

I think that can be cut down with enough training and concentration.

: Actually I just charged up while you were blogging.

...That's a reasonable explanation.

Cacophony: Yes, now destroy them for good!

: Actually, it seems that my opponent has survived.

*Megumin's hat floats downward and lands on her ass. She then wakes up and puts it on her head, though her face becomes crinkled and she waves her hand in front of her face.*

: Man, my ass stinks more than I expected.

You should get a professional fart-sniffer then!

: But who would take such a demeaning job?

Zettai!

: Though I imagine that he'd rather be employed by Aqua.

Cacophony: Who cares about gas and farts, just destroy them!

: Now now, it wouldn't be sporting if I didn't accept an attack from them. Go ahead, hit me with the best you have.

: Alright then, here goes nothing!

*Ririchiyo realizes something.*

: Wait, are we safe here?

Why wouldn't we be?

: Snowcast...

*Magical energies swirl around Megumin.*

: Well, if her explosion is as big as I think it will be, won't we be in danger?

Holy Glasses, you're right!

: Flash Frost...

We'd better get out of here!

: There's no way we can make it in time!

Cacophony: What are you three talking about?

: Energy Admixture (electricity)...

I know you're an enemy and all that, but if we don't escape soon we'll all be dust!

Cacophony: Wait, we're not safe?

: If only there was a convenient way to get away, but alas we are unable to teleport like Gokuh!

: Born of Three Thunders...

*Suddenly a Puchi falls from the sky randomly.*

: Ara~

Convenient! Quick, you come with us too Cacophony!

Cacophony: What's this now?

: You may be an enemy, but you shouldn't be caught up in this!

: Explosive....

*Topaz claps, making the three plus Puchi teleport away. They land back in town, on top of a roof. *

: LOCATE CITY!

: OH CRA-

*A large explosion occurs, almost 200 miles of pure explosion happens on top of Cell. Topaz, Riri, and Cacophony watch from far away, admiring the destruction.*

I guess it's a good thing we were so far from any civilization.

: Right, she simultaneously found, and destroyed, any towns in that area.

Cacophony: I have no idea what's going on.

: The Locate City Bomb. It's a powerful D&D combination of feats that allows the normally-harmless "Locate City" to become a weapon of mass destruction.

Fitting for Megumin, really. Though I imagine that she was just reciting off the spell and not casting it.

: Of course not, like she'd know a non-Evocation spell.

Cacophony: I'm still lost...

Well then, let's go back to Megumin and see how she's doing.

*Topaz claps again.*

: ARA!

*They get teleported back to Megumin, and Miurasan warps herself back to wherever she came.*

: You're really bad at having her pop in and out of relevance.

Makes things a lot easier and hides my plot holes. And look, Megumin is alright!

*She's still laying on her face, but Cell is nowhere to be seen.*

: Yeah, but I'm just going to lay down here. Hope you don't mind.

Now, to deal with YOU!

Cacophony: You may have destroyed my minion, but you'll never catch me!

*She attempts to run, but Topaz blocks the path.*

You're not running away this time.

*Cacophony starts running another direction, but Ririchiyo blocks her off.*

: You've been a pain in our sides for months now. It's time for you to learn your lesson.

Cacophony: Maybe, but I'm a terrible student!

*Cacophony starts running, but Akane falls and blocks her path.*

: I saw the explosion and decided to investigate. So it's YOU again!

Cacophony: The explosion wasn't MINE though. And stop crowding me, I'm trying to escape!

*Cacophony continues to run, but Megumin grabs her foot and trips her. Not only does she land on her face in a humorous fashion, but the heavy cloak of mystery also falls off.*

: You're not getting away from me, villain!

*The villain stands up, revealing who she is.*