I've noticed a lot of confusion over the first 9 minutes of Zetsubou episode 2, so I decided to provide a 一度一生のセーヴィス！ (Once in a lifetime service!)
Subtitles will be translated in a script manner, with occasional screenshots to make sure you're keeping up in the right place ＾＾ Also I'm sure there are a few mistakes somewhere so please be understanding. With that, let's get this train wreck a rolling!
*subtitles by Oguro Yuichiro*
*Opening Commemoration Day*
Everyone, July 13th is Nice Day.
On Nice Day, Goku-san comes by!
*Perry-san will come by*
*on Opening Commemoration Day...*
On Nice Day Goku-san stopped by!
What's so special about him!
Could it be Toriyama's Goku?
But he's just an old geezer!
Is he your friend?
It would be better if you stopped getting friendly with everyone.
Goku-san is gathering strange balls.
Goku-san is a defender of justice, who is battling aliens that are after the balls!
Is that a weapon with which you fight the aliens??
Whoever posesses the balls can become ruler of the universe.
Yes, for the sake of peace I must obtain the balls!
I sense a ball!
Let's follow Goku-san.
Together we must fight the aliens and find the balls!
I'm not very good at fighting!
*books books hope books books*
This! This! This is~!
Someone like Goku came by here, making a huge fuss with some purple colored people.
There really are aliens!
Looks like they came.
Looks like they were fighting here as well.
It appears the aliens were defeated by Goku-san and fled.
My collector cans are opened!
The sealed toys are opened!
A strange phenomenon seems to be occuring.
It's become a hotspring?
Don't open the gas lines!
Even if you are searching for the balls, there are certain things that are not ok to do!
Besides that gas has nothing to do with balls!
I don't want to die before committing suicide!
Well, time to head back
Drop the balls, girly!
The are no balls between the legs of girls!
There are balls there, but that's totally different!!
It may have been different but they were still nice balls.
Don't blush at that!!
But I'm Goku
I must use any means necessary to obtain the balls!
*Please do not open*
What is this room?
It's a sealed room.
The teacher insisted on keeping it locked.
Komori-san's room was just forced open!
Komori-san's hair too!
The ball was not here either.
Komori-san is sputtering nonsense!
Oh no! The aliens are transmitting an evil signal!!
This is terrible, sensei!
Everyone is under the control of the signal and went to the pool!
The evil signals are making everyone act strange.
The kaki next door are the kaki I eat often!
The monk sure did draw the picture well on that folding screen!
Tokyotokkyuukyokakyoku! Tokyo super-express permission bureau! (TL note: this is a Japanese tongue twister)
Aaah even I'm starting to say strange things!
I know it's sudden, but I've fallen in love with you.
It's burning from the bottom of my heart!
I'll never accept a girl like you!
It's that violent behavior that I like!
I'm the protector of justice so I don't need a girl.
*I'm Perry so I play hard to get*
If you won't make me your wife then just make me your lover!
Even Kimura-san is saying strange things.
It must be the evil signals.
This is frightening!
The thing transmitting the signal may not be the aliens, but sensei's heart.
Sensei's heart is the source of the signal!
That is not good!
Please cheer up.
It's fun so let's both watch!
To stop the signal, Goku-san tried many things to cheer sensei up.
However, sensei would not open his heart.
Before gathering the balls I must stop the signal, but how?
It got all weird looking around here!
The signal has started to transform the world while you were deep in thought. Sensei's signal has become stronger.
The world is in grave danger! I must do something quickly!
It's no use!
Aaah! The source of the signal himself!
Using the waves of my evil signal, the true identity of the world shall be revealed.
What has been hidden until now will be unveiled!
This is the real world. You have fallen to despair.
*Dead trees line this barren land. Every tree has a rope with nooses hanging from them.*
*Even in town.*
*Even in town.*
There is no hope to be found.
No friendly people.
In your heart you despise and hate other people.
Without realizing it I ended up saying strange things again!
I despair at the risk my own evil signals pose to myself!
This is the door where if the evil signal enters, despair will fill this world with darkness.
Please help me!
It appears the evil signal has disappeared. That sure was a terrible experience.
A bag prize!
You mean the ball was hidden here?!
Are you disappointed, Goku-san? A bag prize is generally something disappointing when opened. Even when protecting the peace of the world, it is best not to open the bag!
Perhaps Goku was mistaken. Actually I am not Goku.
I already know that.
Back when I first came to this world, that kid talked to me, who had no friends.
Nice weather today! Weather weather nice weather~
*You look like Perry-san*
I was so happy. It was then that I decided to become Goku.
I don't understand at all. Why would this make him Goku?
But now I will quit being Goku. From now on I shall be Ke〇Shirou.
Goku-san that's a little...
You haven't learned anything Goku-san.
Even if you're Goku I can't forgive this!
Sensei your words are a bit harsh...
Why are you alone without your friends?
Well... it's hard to say...
Looks like he couldn't return to his universe.
Who was this guy really?
Final Thoughts: This seems to have been a vague reference to Dragon Ball Z. Everything from Goku to gathering balls. However, apparently it is far different in the manga, which references Commodore Perry's use of implied force to open Japan's borders to US trade. Hence Perry/Goku's antiquated military uniform. I'm not 100% sure, I haven't read the manga. For more information check out Totali's blog.
Also, I have no idea what ケ〇シロウ is supposed to be referencing to, so if anyone has any input that would be great.
drhikari | Jan 18, 2008 9:33 PMI've just looked at a.f.k.'s zoku 2. Apparently, there was a close captioning included in the episode, with the proper dialogue from the manga. That, or Strato pulled some lines out of the manga itself. xD
Bluesnow | Jan 14, 2008 12:35 PMDidn't read the text because I don't want spoiledXD but this looks like another messed up episodeO.o
*tries to think of waht Ke-X shirou isXD