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Seriously, as somber as this post will seem, I really am optimistic. Or does it just mean that I'm insecure if I joke about the downs in life? Psh, whatever. By the way, I may do quite a bit of jumping around. :P Now...

First, I turned 16, the very center of those teenage years. Can't really call it sweet 16 because it sounds a little awkward for guys. Can't remember what I did then. It was a Friday though. If anything, I had school and volleyball practice.

Next, I turned 18, entering adulthood. At least according to the norms of society. I think I marathoned the first Negima anime series on this day. Not sure why I was home alone most of the day, or possibly the whole weekend.

Then I turned 20, graduating from a teenager and entering those "fun" 20s people talk about, or at least I think they do. So disconnected from society. Pretty sure I was in class most of the day anyway.

And now I'm 21, and sort of the age where an adult truly enters society or whatever. Also, it's the legal drinking age. Not that I'll ever drink nor do I ever intend to. I only have one class (lab) today, but I'll probably still be working on last week's lab as well as writing the report for it. Then I have to deal with today's lab, which hopefully doesn't use up all three hours like last week's. Then afterwards, who knows what I'll do. I think it'll just be me and my mom. Not sure if we'll be doing anything. Maybe Red Robins? Heh, I don't really feel 21. I actually did accidentally respond with 18 when asked for my age a few months ago. It was a weird moment.

Haha, you know, I don't really tell anyone when it's my birthday anymore. As far as I can recall, the last time I celebrated my birthday with other people besides family was at my last (I think) birthday party, where I turned 12, in the year 2000. It doesn't really bother me all that much though. Mostly prefer it this way. Then again, I am missing out on possible presents. On a similar note, I get more birthday wishes, albeit automated, over e-mail than in person. Then again, others are from networking sites and that's how the Internet is used. Here are the ones from 2008. And here are the one's for this year. I haven't visited many of these sites in years...

I don't really ask for much, if anything, to do on my birthdays. I'm not much of a party person anyway. And for the past few years, I don't really ask for anything in regards to presents. Partly because I never give presents myself and I don't like costing my parents money. They've spoiled me and my sister our whole lives. But then they usually insist on getting me something, and I feel bad for turning them down because it feels like I'm denying them a chance to do something for me. Whatever, it's all weird. I can't help but try not to be selfish, when I actually may be. I think too much...

But I really do end up getting some pretty expensive presents for my birthday. The Zune 30 in 2007. A new desktop PC last year. And this year, I got a new hard drive and battery for my Inspiron 5150, which has been unused for several months since its hard drive failed and could no longer boot at all. The new battery was an unfortunate purchase because the battery that I had left in my laptop will no longer charge. I did find the older one, but the charge doesn't last. And unfortunately, it seems as if the new hard drive makes lots of clicking noises. Similar to the sounds the now-dead one used to make. It's a bit worrisome. Somewhat fortunately, 100% of the files are from my PC. I'm using Windows Live Sync to keep certain folders synced between my PC and laptop. Pretty handy program. Alas, the CD/DVD drive hasn't been working properly for a long time. It no longer reads DVDs. At least it can still read CDs. But boy does that put a hamper on watching my DVDs anytime anywhere.

Anyway, nothing about me has changed much I think. I'm still a student, and a terrible one at that. Technically, I should have been able to graduate in about two semesters, but I may be at Fresno State for two more. I don't feel that I've learned as much they taught us. But that's my own fault, since I hardly ever study. And just yesterday, I pretty much failed two midterms that essentially should have been easy. It just frustrates me how lazy I am. And on stuff that I'm not graded on, I actually do put in some time.

I also still live at home. But I don't really consider that much of an issue. I've never had a job, unless you count being on Anime Expo staff for two years, with this year being a possible third. But I suppose that's mainly volunteer stuff. I really should just go out there and just apply for anything. Or better yet, do something related to my computer engineering major. Fresno State's engineering program does offer that program for paid internships. And they're planning on starting this ECE Clinic class that would mostly be project-based. But I'm supposed to be a senior next semester and am not sure if I should be doing something like that when I still have lots of upper-division courses, including GE) to take care of. Let's hope that my GPA and my financial aid holds out...

If there's anything that has changed, it would be my anime and manga collection. It certainly has grown larger since last year. I almost forgot about the annual picture I take of my collection. I've only been taking them since 2006 though. Here's 2006 (forgot I had this picture). Here's the one from 2007. And here are my anime and manga in 2008. Below are pictures of my collection as of today. As you can see, I've clearly run out of room on my shelves. I've started utilizing those large boxes Right Stuf uses to ship large orders. I've filled two. I have a third that I've yet to use. It's not helping that I save those boxes that select Bandai Entertainment limited edition releases come in. There's also those placeholder inserts from FUNimation and Geneon artboxes that have art that I can't seem to throw away. I really am such as a pack rat. I have the NeoPets avatar to prove it too.



Anyway, to digress a little…

I suppose it's not entirely true that nothing's changed. Maybe I've changed a little. Or maybe it's what's going on inside my head that wants to instigate a change from my stagnant lifestyle. I am one of the many guilty ones out there that tend to lose themselves in their imagination in order to either escape reality or to take a different view of reality. Well, I don't really think I use my imagination to escape reality. Then again, I do play out another life in my head and have been for over eight years now (it's like on its fourth version; maybe I'll take about it someday). Anyway, I certainly do use my imagination to "re-think" or review reality, to see how it could have been. Besides the unrealistic setting I mentioned above, I have another, more realistic, setting, where I actually speak my mind and feel empowered to actually make a difference not only in my life, but in other's. It's hard for me to describe. I guess I mainly use it to see myself actually confronting people who I believe are being unreasonable. I tell them as best I can the truth about themselves and their behavior, and hopefully they listen. However, I also consider the other party's reactions, both positive and negative. When I really think about all this, though, it just seems naive and arrogant. Sometimes, I really do want to speak out, but I know that I'll only run into a very stubborn wall. Although, I guess my general problem is that I don't act. I don't take the chance. I just sit quietly and let it happen. Unfortunately, doing just that has given the perception that I'm apathetic. That I just don't care. Maybe part of me doesn't care. But that doesn't mean that I like that part of me. When it all comes down to it, however; it's ultimately my fault that people, even my own family, perceive me as they do. Which leads to what they can expect, or not, from me. It's my ultimate pet peeve: this hypocrisy. I admit to being a hypocrite, and I still am. But it absolutely gets on my nerves when I see it in other people.

But enough of that. It's my birthday. And one of the things that have fascinated me is how particular things that have occurred on or around April 2 in any year are part of my life.

• Famous (in one way or another) anime titles that were released on April 2: Speed Racer (1967), second Doraemon series (1979), Escaflowne TV (1996), Revolutionary Girl Utena (1997), Chobits (2002), Aria The Natural (2006, and just got Part 2 in the mail), The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (2006). K-ON! and Basquash! also start airing in Japan on this day this year. Those are two titles I'm interested it.
  
• The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya started airing on my 18th birthday. I had little interest at first and started the show late, but quickly got hooked.
  
• Speed Racer anime apparently started airing on this day in 1967. Used to watch this a little as a kid.
  
• My favorite NeoPet is the Shoyru, which just happens to have its own special day today. Meet my long-time NeoPet Shoyru, Flames. And with all the ads gone for birthday persons, there really is less scrolling on NeoPets. And here's something I haven't done in a very long time.
  
• My Neighbor Totoro was released on April 1. It was probably the first anime I ever saw.
  
• The Pokemon anime started airing on April 1, 1997. Been a Pokemon fan since the release of the Red and Blue versions in America. Still watch the show to this day. And today, Pokemon in Japan goes HD and one of the Pokemon cast may evolve.
  
• Hans Christian Andersen, Obi-Wan Kenobi Sir Alec Guinness, Charlemagne, and many other famous names were born on April 2.
  

Granted, most of the anime stuff starting around this time is because it's the beginning of a new season of anime. But many of the titles listed are ones that I've liked or showed interest in, even before knowing that they were released around April 2.

lol It would have been nice to have been born on April 1. There could be people out there that may actually not believe me, thinking that I'm fooling them. And I'd also share a birthday with Sakura Kinomoto (favorite character of all time) from Cardcaptor Sakura, Sakura from Tsubasa, Watanuki from xxxHOLiC, and Ussop from One Piece. It's also interesting to note that Cardcaptor Sakura may have been the first manga series I ever completed. The only April 2 birthday anime characters I'm familiar with are Botan from Yu Yu Hakusho and Masaru/Marcus from Digimon Savers.

I wish I had kept track of things that have happened to me on my birthday or around it. I think I can recall having a test postponed in high school or something. I guess I'm partly superstitious, or perhaps just interested in all sorts of hitsuzen coincidences. Haha, I've grown into the habit of tracking or dating things. Somewhat connected to my pack rat nature. I build up too much seemingly senseless sentimentality. May have picked it up from my mom and taken it to my own level. I keep track of all sorts of things like the daily number of members and messages in the Pokemon guild I help run on NeoPets, my collection of DVDs and books, and even how much money I spend on anything. I have several Excel spreadsheets in which I do all this. I hope to move all my anime and manga information to an Access database as soon as I get a better handle of it. I think I prefer Excel though because I find it fun using all sorts of functions.

Well, today won't be as interesting. I don't have lab till 5:00. But I'll probably be there late in the morning or early in the afternoon. Hope I can get a good report done by the time class starts and that the new lab won't be as hard or won't take as long. And hopefully, Friday will be an easy day. There's a club meeting, and I can't wait to see how that turns out. And then it's finally spring break for us. Although, I'm actually hoping that I'll use that time to study and catch up. I say that every year and it never happens...

On a final note, I just discovered that Nunnally Lamperouge is one of the Frontier Brains in Pokemon Platinum! She goes by the name of Caitlin and is accompanied by her ninja butler, Darach, who does all the battling, naturally. And she's back on her feet! Charles (Commander Charon?) must still be alive and back to his old tricks!

And in conclusion...Happy Birthday to Botan, Masaru/Marcus, Hans Christian Andersen, Sir Alec Guinness, Charlemagne, a friend of mine on NeoPets, another friend of mine I've known since elementary school (played volleyball together too), to all the others out there, and finally to me! Don't dread too much on the lows of the past, present, and future, and let us hope that I actually take my own advice :P

Hm…there was a definite abundance of CLAMP in here. You know, I just got xxxHOLiC manga volume 13 from Right Stuf and skimmed through it (yeah, shame on me). And what was the theme, and perhaps one of the bigger themes of both Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles and xxxHOLiC? Acceptance and attaining happiness...