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Sep 29, 2008 8:13 PM
Remove woman's lonely psychological secret room
For seem lonely, people force people drop crowd into, influenced by people around constantly, it is always unable to get down. Think about what things should be done, which does not like? People need to mix oneself with a role, even the role that does not like by oneself.

Little prince the clever fox say, will be very lonely in the man. The little prince tells it, among a group of persons, the person is lonely too. No wonder the fairy tale called adult of " little prince ", because the reason among them, it is not that a child is understandable.

Then how about adult? Can understand real flavor among them more or less? One's loneliness and a group of persons' loneliness are two different concepts. Though, people always refuse to admit being lonely, it seems that that is a very shame-faced thing, and this has exposed people's weakness even more exactly.

For seem lonely, people force people drop crowd into, influenced by people around constantly, it is always unable to get down. Think about what things should be done, which does not like? People need to mix oneself with a role, even the role that does not like by oneself.

Thus, a group of persons' loneliness, perhaps with despair, and a person's loneliness, it is a kind of physiotherapy that can be chosen.

Loneliness misunderstood

Lonely, defined as the derogatory term early, seem even more it is an unsuccessful pronoun.

People seem accept lonely the definition of word innately, habitual continuity it understand, in fact people mostly come from childhood to lonely misunderstanding.

Have ever seen a book about children's psychology. Book say childhood origin of feeling of loneliness, that kind of companion's panic feeling of loneliness, dropped and branded in the heart deeply, even grew to manhood later, that kind of passive lonely feeling, remain difficult to accept and exist for a long time.

I knew a woman, is a qualified party queen, that very night had held the dinner at night of dance day after day, see so that I do not think of him to solve. Do I ask, are not you tired, non- agitated? She says faintly, so lonely as to afraid after unloading heavy make-up. I know, she is during one's childhood, parents separate two places, often have her only in a room of such a size alone.

But we have forgotten, when puerile, children's analysis always comes to the surface, for example: When child and parents lose, children's feeling is abandoned, but not lose other reasons by oneself.

It is like this, four years old that year, parents took elder brother and me to the museum, I was young and still thoughtless at that time, but can realize, at home, the elder brother is a prince, loved more. Among the crowd coming and going, as if elder brother has been led Laszo by mother all the time that day, I the each backward on purpose,not lose and not envy with at the back,feel all the time the due to look after a long time, later, I was too true to isolate and find parents by the stream of people, I was extremely extremely frightened at that time, looking for parents crazily, I did not think panically parents like me at that time, will not want me.

In fact lonely and is misunderstood from the beginning. Even, once always regarded being lonely as the morbid state in authoritative medical science of psychiatric department, they think the intimate interpersonal relationships are the sound most important sign of spirit, it is a happy source in life.

Is it really so absolutely?

Lonely another side

Go to U.S.A. before study, always think that is a Sukhavati, burning hot, still afraid whether to adapt to there by oneself " Intimate " Interpersonal relationships.

Found later, Americans' interpersonal relationships were very relaxed, many friends and neighbour can be very hospitable, but sure to respect you in self- space-time, even, the quiet places that repairs of convent,etc., always ordered emptily before the vacation, some agitated city people will enjoy front, constructive loneliness here.

Unless yes, the lonely,whose name is can the front one,it have not constructive,every one can alternative loneliness, should be admitted and glad to admit.

When people can face one's own heart, you will know and find, in fact people there are two roles on the bottom of heart, a role makes us thirst for the love, friendship very much; But another role hopes to leave one's own space. So, when we have worries, a word that is often said is: Make me quiet alone.

Just think, while expecting to be quiet, nearby is still a noisy crowd, park disturb you, you picture should release floodwater but dykes and dams that stop up, totter?

The queen's secret room

The secret room, it sounds, always hiding the endless secret? Though someone always warns us, don't have too many secrets, if so you will live very tiredly. But in the complicated interpersonal relationships, in more and more rich and colorful real world, make people totally transparent, does not have worry, like like Arabian Nights. However, a woman who has one's mind filled with the worry is not always popular, so, you need to find a room for a corner, go to lay these secrets. This like a lot of city people, watch " colorful time ", memory a dark one that tree hole most.

When moving the new family, I treat and belong to one's own room specially very diligently, that is the most loved manor. A soft sofa, enough to let the body be unfolded, the spacious tea table can put down two cups of fragrant tea and a bunch of lilies at will, another fragrant smoked platform, there should be a CD machine in the room, does not need the image, because the impact of the sense of hearing will give somebody imagining and romantic leeway. The window can be extremely bright, but there should be dense printing opacity, hang down the curtain which leaves the ground, the texture of the curtain is deep and serious, the color is magnificent and quiet, then a song selected is " lonely " of the triumphant beautiful gold saxophone.

If you can not yet have one's own rooms? Perhaps you can isolate a piece of space, either the following room, or a one's own bed, a deck chair, a desk

Can good at plenty of woman lonely woman is, because she has a route of retreat, she has one's own psychological harbours, even if is a simple and space not big, but belong to her own one, her private state of mind and action that belongs to in the space are private and dense, ones that release, do not need to make any explanation and explain to others. This original ecology of letting people seem to return to time immemorial, on the wide wasteland of such a size, though the distance between people and people is remote, perhaps lonely, may also be helpless, nourishing the feelings.

Lonely, it is the people's original sin, but this kind of original sin, you can't be constrained it, at regular intervals, you should let it dissolve and release. Only in this way, could adjust two completely different roles of people's, meet the contacts of equilibrating and demand for staying alone.

The woman's secret room

I want to say here, include it in two successful women's course of growth:

In 1929, the cottonrose hibiscus has been written with " one's own room " in not Genee Yan five, there one without interruption she said the woman engaged in writing, one's own private and dense space, otherwise difficult to be successful. Perhaps this is a bit bigoted, but has given people a helpful enlightenment,

Beautiful mother Yi Nengjing is her follower, believing in the woman's life too must have one's own rooms, she has rented a set of small apartments near one's own home, and fit up into romantic linking Doni's inferior style according to one's own idea, this privately owned space is her secret garden, Staff only, after looking after good children of family every day, she will write here and read attentively.

Though the woman always thinks that fears that stays alone most, the space staying alone brings the most steady and sure sense of safety to them, they make the thing that oneself likes in one's own room, or nothing is done, enjoy quiet alone, this growth course like the one woman, quiet to build in a very early to pay attention to one like western psychology with spiritual medical circle, in the physiological respect, it can improve the intensity of awakening, the ones that promoted different areas of cerebral hemisphere are synchronous; In psychology, it can promote the relaxing of people's spirit, relieves hypnosis, and can promote comprehending, understanding oneself and self-control skill, say briefly, facilitate the growth of woman's heart.

I have proposed, people's growth has been divided into two major respects of body and heart, the growth of the health had already been finished 18 years old ago, the growth of the heart needs following for all one's life. If your only ripe health, but without ripe heart, your life is flawed or damaged, this kind is flawed or damaged for you, no matter how much wealth you have, what dazzling " succeed " it is ,But you are unhappy, lack the happiness sense! Some these have ripe fruit as one, how take some bitterness, have lacked the sweet taste.

The growth of the body is naturally, want it much more smoothly, if you have food with appropriate health, there is environment that must be safe, the probability of growing up is very high, but the growth of the heart has not had luck, the most important thing is, the mankind has already found out method and experience that the systematic health has grown up, there are no method and education of maturity of helping the heart to grow up. So, people always face the countless puzzlement during all one's life, vast and hazy, painful and desperate, how do you think?
Posted by qkwlshy | Sep 29, 2008 8:13 PM | Add a comment