Hellsing: Psalm of the Darkness

badass... worthy of a spot on the site? ...no.... but it's a badass trailer...

this is a trailer for the 2001 hellsing anime, by the way, not hellsing ultimate. the inclusion of millenium members is questionable but it was before they decided to make up their own villains for the show. this works better as a trailer to hellsing ultimate than it does 2001, though. but it was still worth the watch either way. best 3 minutes of my life. not really but it was cool.

since this is a trailer for hellsing 2001, it has the artstyle of the 2001 anime so that means we ... see millenium characters in that artstyle for the first and only time unless someone talented wants to go make some imitation fanart.

overall this trailer is a nice glimpse into what could have been, but i do prefer the fact that we got what we did. this trailer, the 2001 anime, and hellsing ultimate are all best as is.

Why this is being treated as a stand alone item is anyone's guess, but okay, here ya go:

In this 3 minute trailer, which was available as a special on the DVD release, we get a rapid-fire, loud, and virtually seizure inducing promo for "Hellsing: Ultimate". Starts off kind of creepy, with a phone ringing, answered by Alucard who is then told by Integra to search and destroy (VERY loudly) and we get treated to a break-neck speed montage of guns, splatter, those patented wicked grins, Alexander Anderson laughing maniacally in a warped pose, and finally coming to an end with a mysterious dark figure sitting ... in a char, flanked by two figures, as his white-gloved hands slowly applaud. As if approving what he's just seen... give you a few guesses who it is, but judging by the shape of his glowing spectacles, you'll only need one.

This was an attention getting preview that appeals to people who live off an L diet of caffeine and sweets and need something to match the pace of their elevated heart rate and high blood pressure. I found it silly but a good marketing tool. It's only in Japanese, but half the dialogue is in English. So, they meet you half way. I'm happy to have checked this off my list and now can move on to actual shows that have actual episodes and are actually worth entering on MAL's database. 6/10. Check it out. Cheers!

To think I told myself so many times that I've reviewed enough weird abominations that dare call themselves Anime to be able to call off the bullshit on spot feels very naive from old me. But then again, I can never predict what I'll watch in the next 5 minutes, but for now, I'm having this as the downfall of it all.
It felt rather like those old ambitious but crappy AMV from the old youtube poop background, with no matching music or purpose but to transition from random shots of the series, be them relevant or not, they looked badass, so why not?

- Art (4/10):
The ... original series (which is what this short is based upon) didn't have the greatest art style and/or animation out there, however, the quality never suffered despite that. It was beautiful in its own way. “Hellsing: Psalm of Darkness” includes various shots from the series, however, the bad context and flashy swift transition don't leave room for the old not-so-fluid animation to breath, if anything, that sudden switch only makes the image kind of blur and drops from its quality.

- Sound (2/10):
Yep, not a single thing to praise. Voice acting wasn't it here, very few snippets from various contexts all over the parent series with no particular juxtaposition, not one that's painfully obvious that is.
The music wasn't that good either, should I even call it music? A bunch of random noises trying to make some sense.

- Enjoyment (5/10):
I'm very picky when it comes to short duration guilty pleasure. And “Hellsing: Psalm of Darkness” reminded me of the reason why. I loved Hellsing, both the original and the remake, watched all the other OVAs and what not and had no complaint, biot not until I fall upon watching this, and there I was, staring at this pile of disappointment and bashing an ignorant eye on it as if it never happened. Perhaps that was the right thing to do from the start. One thing, however, there was a distinguishable sequencial event from what appear to be respecting the same order as the parent show, where it really helped serve a great refresher on the big plot points of the earlier adaptation for that I'm thankful.

- Overall (3.6/10):
Even for 3 minutes, it was a huge waste of time and energy, a pathetic insult to the great franchise of Hellsing. The mere idea of having this kind of low-quality trash as a standalone release is just so infuriating and disappointing at the same time.