Choujikuu Romanesque Samy: Missing 99

So this is one of those forgotten 80s OVA's written by someone who thought mad libs were the best way to come up with a story. You see, the Biblical Noah's demonic twin brother, also named Noah, is trying to kill a girl whose DNA has a program written by god that gives her Bodhisattva powers, since she would somehow prevent him from creating a new universe for demons once the universe's entropy reaches zero. If any of that made sense to you, you're either a smarter person than me, or you should seek out a psychiatrist. This anime is really a ... series of weird events and setpieces that just follow each other with only the bare minimum of an attempt at linking them together, and none of the information it gives you helps you make much sense out of it.

The art varies from passable to ugly, the animation is never good, the fight scenes suck, with characters seemingly teleporting whenever they're not on camera, and there's barely any character or story to talk about. On the plus side, the amount of nonsense this constantly exposes you to keeps it much more entertaining than a lot of shitty, obscure OVA's, though it never quite hits that level that makes you laugh like Troll 2 or The Room. For a hidden anime gem of that sort, watch Crystal Triangle. But if you're having trouble finding an entertainingly bad anime, then give this a shot.

In short: It's a bad story idea...done badly.

There's the bones of a plot that is given in an exposition scene that tie everything in this Hot Mess together, but I wouldn't spend much brain power trying to understand it. In short, Evil Devil is trying to destroy the universe, but a young Japanese girl (Sami/Samy/Sammy) unwittingly holds the key to preventing this, as she goes dimension-tripping from Japan to a fantasy land to a sci-fi wasteland, fighting baddies along the way. Don't worry much about the particulars of the plot, because it won't help make this ... any better.

By the way it ends, it seems very clear to me, that they intended to use this OVA to "test the waters" to see if there was interest in continuing the story of Samy with future episodes. But they did such a terrible job with this OVA, that it pretty much sank into the morass of low-grade schlock that came out that decade, that it pretty much killed that idea right then and there.

Not only is the story a ugly mess, but by god is the quality of the character designs, artwork and animation crappy as hell. Visually, it's awful from start to finish, and you spend more time marveling at how awful the art is, than you do focusing on the story. They didn't just farm the production of this out to the "B-Team", but probably a few letters lower than that.