Aug 31, 2017
Hello, you favorite hentai reviewer that you've probably never heard of here. Today I'll be reviewing Cafe Junkie, the hentai masterpiece with plot so unique and unpredictable it will keep you on the edge of your seats for 60 minutes straight. The amazing and complex characters will take your breath away as you fall in love with each and every one of them. Absolute 10/10.
The story is about a guy named Masaru (Ma-kun) who is probably the best character for the average viewer to insert himself into I've seen so far in anime. The guy has absolutely no special features or whatsoever. Normal build, MC
haircut, generic voice, even his clothes look boring, honestly. Like if this was an actual RPG this would've been the default level 1 male character. It is almost like the Japanese hentai artists are trying to tell their audience full of 30-year-old virgins "If this guy can do it, everyone can! Don't lose hope guys!".
"Oh come on, no one watches hentai for the guy anyway. Gimme girls, gimme rape."
Well, there is no actual rape (which is probably the only redeeming feature). The girls... Oh... Did I say girl"S"? Well, there was just one girl with three different heads because the budget for this one was probably so low they couldn't even afford changing their height or breast size a little. And how there is no rape you ask? Well, it's quite simple. All of the girls are in love with our amazing protagonist even though they are sisters and aware of the fact that he sleeps with all three of them.
"Characters, plot... you are talking too much, this is a hentai remember? No one really cares about that stuff, I just want to fap, that's all.".
Yes, but it will be kinda hard for you to do so, because on top of all Cafe Junkie probably has the most boring sex scenes I've seen in a while. And it's not because the censorship or the awful animation and voice acting. The creativity in this one was close to 0, just 60 minutes of complete emptiness. It's hard to distinguish one sex scene from the others. Even the most hardcore vanilla fan will probably fall asleep unless he starts thinking about his ex or smh.
Enjoyment: not found
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