Sailor Senshi Venus♥Five

WARNING: THIS REVIEW TOUCHES UPON STUFF THAT IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18.

For my first review of 2018, I shall touch upon Sailor Senshi Venus Five, or Venus 5...good fucking God. This 2 episode hentai OVA by Daiei is a shitty parody/rip-off of Sailor Moon, my favorite anime of all time (though I can recognize it's not perfect), though even on its own this is one of the worst anime I've ever seen, and it comes from Central Park Media, the company infamous for releasing a catalogue of shitty anime. Why, should you wonder? Well, since I'd like to get this over ... as quick as possible, I'll explain why, though it was really painful to watch.

Story (2/10): The plot is basically five girls are summoned by a talking cat (been there, done that) to fight against an evil empire known as the Inma Empire, and they fight for the Goddess Aphrodite. What are the dastardly evil deeds that the Inma plan to do? Turn into the world....into a place for orgies, yes. Believe it or not, that's really all there is for the story, and if you've seen one episode, you've seen the other. They may have some plot points like trying to find the golden statue of Apollo or something but really, the only thing there really is to this is lots of sex and...rape. Is your stomach churning yet? This already sounds like a bad fanfiction from a fetish crazed basement dweller with no way to get a job or make a living.

That's a problem I have with hentai stuff and such from what I've glimpsed of the genre: it's just sexual stuff over and over again and they don't add much of plots or anything to garner interest at all. I'm not really a fan of hentai in general with some exceptions (though that exception was more of an adult romantic drama than a porno) but if I had to do one I'd try to have it mostly be story driven with an actual story and tone down the naughtiness, but I digress, the story sucks, moving on.

Art/Animation (2/10): The art and animation are piss poor for a 1994 OVA. The art style is very rough looking, proportions are slightly off, the character designs are rip-offs/uninspired copies of the Sailor Moon characters: Venus Pink/Hikari is Usagi/Sailor Moon, Venus Blue/Kiyomi is Ami/Sailor Mercury, Venus Red/Moyu is Rei/Sailor Mars, etc. Aphrodite and the other characters look uninspired and like they were taken from other fantasy anime. The animation, with the exception of the first set of transformations, is stiff, choppy and jerky, relies on speed line backgrounds, and they clearly cut corners when they could considering a lot of the movements don't look believable and clunky, and some action scenes/movement (like the Venus Crash kick) are just a single non-moving cel over speed lines, clearly budget saving costs. The Inma aliens/monsters for most of the villains are poorly designed, truly hideous and look like they were taken from a poorly done bootleg or Go Nagai wannabe anime rather than stuff like this. The backgrounds are noting to write home about, the colors are all washed out and faded the art/animation are just pathetic for an OVA. Sailor Moon S was out the same year as this, was a TV anime, and it looked hundreds of times better than this, along with Shin Cutey Honey, which was also an OVA and was amazingly animated too (plus it didn't rely on the below all the time). Oh My Goddess came out the year before and was spectacular looking too.

If you love fanservice/porn, you're gonna LOVE it here. Everywhere there's naked bodies with full detail, nipples and genitals and sex scenes and body fluids galore, nude transformations that are inferior in terms of quality to Sailor Moon's and rip-offs (water/fire forming suits, Hikari getting butterfly wings). However, none of this is attractive looking because most of it just involves schoolgirls and young women getting raped by monsters, even the Venus 5, who are all 18/19(? I'm guessing 18 as 19 year old college students do not wear seifuku uniforms), end up getting stripped against their will, ending up in all sorts of BDSM situations or sexually assaulted. Ugh. I'll admit, I wouldn't mind looking at R34 of say, Urd, Mihoshi Kuramitsu, Kiyone Makibi, or Reiko Mikami, but not if there's stuff like this, the Atari 2600 porn games (minus a certain one) looked more appealing to the eyes.

And one of the worst parts is, for a parody anime that's based on Sailor Moon, an anime which had excellent action scenes, there's literally only about 1-2% action in here, all of the fight scenes in both episodes are poorly animated, over in under five minutes total and not very exciting or engaging at all.

One other thing about the talking cat Buccha, you're not going to believe it...they gave him naughty bits too, and this leads to a certain thing that I will not mention but will say is a thing common on websites like e621 that whoever finds enjoyable needs to get locked up. The animators clearly had too many fetishes to count.

And they also tried to add in some annoying "pause at the right moments" thing in between certain scenes (explosions).

In conclusion, you may need a bottle of Clorox Bleach when watching this. The only reason I have given it a 2/10 is because after all that, this STILL looks better than Sailor Moon Crystal, but that's not really saying much. At all.

Sound (3/10): The voice performances are weak in both the Japanese and English version, no one's voice sounds like they suit the character (mostly with the Venus Five). Junko Asami (Sayako from the Oh My Goddess OVA, and the only recognizable VA here), who seems to be a well known hentai actress, is wasted as Hikari, and doesn't sound like she's into the role, like the other VAs (though I can't blame them). The English dub is like a lot of dubs, particularly hentai ones: cheap, horrible Japanese name pronunciations, stilted, awkward performances, though the actors were given shitty material to work with but entirely laughable and able to give a few chuckles. The music is forgettable and the ending song is mediocre.

Character (2/10): I couldn't care about any of the characters here because the anime didn't give me a reason to. Most of them were just parodies/rip-offs of their Sailor Moon counterparts anyways, the only one I almost liked was Aphrodite but she still failed to convince me as likable.

Enjoyment (1/10): I couldn't even watch both episodes all the way because I was so disgusted and sick by a lot of the content of what is going on. I am not a feminist, but there is something I will say once, but not again: RAPE IS NOT ATTRACTIVE NOR SEXY. That is the biggest thing that turned me off (and I'm sure a lot of others) of this, stuff like that is Dormcat, the Encyclopedia editor of Anime News Network, was right in what he said, if you're going to do any adult anime like this, like he said, quote, sex should be an enjoyable experience, not meaningless raping. Doing the latter just makes it look immature, childish, tasteless, offensive and repulsive, no matter what the gender, and it makes the director look immature and tasteless. The only people who would probably enjoy this would be repulsive sick in the mentally ill head scumbags who enjoy seeing girls/women get violated by weird crazy ass beasts, and probably wanna touch some women wrongly themselves, go to a shrink to fix your fucked up heads.

Not to mention, a lot of the other humor in the show just is not funny at all. I didn't even crack a smile nor giggle at anything I saw, and I'm usually an easy/nervous laugher. And when you've got an unfunny anime that has no likable characters, bad art/animation, nonexistent story, and you're wondering what you're doing with time you'll never get back and wish you would have done something else. While there are horrid anime out there you'd want to finish no matter, what, this is an example of an anime that makes you wish you NEVER saw an anime in your life at all...

Overall (1/10): Venus 5 is a dismal, abysmal, unattractive, repulsive, MISERABLE anime. All I'm going to say is, unless you have biastophilia or you need to see anything that parodies or resembles/rips off Sailor Moon, avoid, avoid, and avoid!!

Good night, and let's hope I don't have to review any other anime like this...