Shuudengo, Capsule Hotel de, Joushi ni Binetsu Tsutawaru Yoru.

Few years ago, new anime genre called it's-not-porn-it's-a-romance-I-swear was invented. It' basically a combination of 15 seconds long pixelated hentai sequences and the most idiotic, unlikely-to-happen-irl romance bullshit imaginable.

This time around it's a story about a girl who says "no" and a guy who hears her words as "yes", but apparently, it's not rape because they work in the same company and the guy is really horny. So basically, it's the exact same thing as all the other series from the same genre.

The entire thing is build based on opposites.

Girl: You can't.
Guy: Does anyway.
Girl: Stop.
Guy: Continues.
Girl: Together.
Guy: Alone.

At this point, I have to mention that there are currently 3 different versions of this series available. The first one is PG13 and the sex scenes have been removed so it's just a story about two people being in the same place at the same time. The second version has like clouds over genitals and boobies don't have nipples. And the third version is the one that offers the story as intended. Why do this then? You ask (well, I ask at least). Because it's really important that every person, regardless of their age, has the possibility -- the opportunity! -- to witness this greatness while it still maintains its appeal to people of every age in the suitable and ideal way. I greatly envy the children today who have the change to grow up watching the different versions of the story over the years as they age. Missed opportunity from my part, but definitely a timeless classic the future generations.

The characters are pretty funny at least, mainly because they suck so hard. The female's (whose name I still don't know) greatest character merit being owning a tight pussy. The dude's one single merit is to being able to use this woman most of the time as he wishes. The sex scenes are quite terrible. Almost identical to each others, super boring stuff, occasionally no penetration at all. The variety is miniscule as typically they only take place in a different surroundings. The girl just lays there like a dead fish and moans or says "no" while the dude uses finger or mouth action.

As romances, this thing is beyond awful and as a porn it is useless.

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Ever wanted to watch a series and you realized it's falsely advertised? Guess what I did! And boy, was I very wrong in thinking this might be something worth watching.

Let me explain why I'm disappointed and kind of annoyed with this. And do bear with me, I will be rambling a lot for a short-lived micro series. How's that for a first review ever?

The whole story was very bland. There are concepts that stuck out a bit, but there wasn't much more to it. In other words, there was nothing eye-catching or different in comparison to other anime that shares the same genre. The characters aren't very memorable at all and are quite bland and underwhelming in all aspects. The thing about this anime is that you don't find it on your typical streaming sites when you google the name. Instead, you'll find it on porn sites which isn't a bad thing...if it were a hentai. It was misleading in all honesty when I initially read the synopsis before it was released. I thought, "hey there's nothing wrong with a bit of ecchi from time to time, right?" wrong. Even for porn, it's not substantial for what porn is supposed to make people do.

Before I continue, I noticed that there are allegedly three versions that came out (sexual scenes cut completely, censored, and uncensored/full-on sex scenes with penetration) so to give you context I watched the third version which is basically porn. Because of its length (in both episode duration and how many episodes came out) there's not much to get off to. Since this was "ecchi" there wasn't enough plot to go around because of such short time. Because, y'know, ecchi is kind of a factor for anime that says, "hey we have girls revealing stuff that you don't want little children to see." and not something that completely defines plot. Actually, there wasn't really a plot at all. By that, I mean that there was a direction where this was going but it was pretty predictable and raw and not really entertaining. The writing was your carbon-copy script of a typical hentai where the woman says "no" but proceeds to get consensually fucked anyway because what is logic.

The dynamic between the two main characters is laughable since they're very typical. A viewer most likely doesn't even need to watch this because of the lack in creativity; this is a relationship that is very confusing where it's a one-night stand that goes from being fuckbuddies to being each other's boyfriend/girlfriend with a dash of baseless jealousy and useless "pining". I say "pining" because the main guy essentially lusts for her and doesn't say his true feelings till the end, but goes upon his salacious actions anyway. As for the woman, she's basically there as a means for the guy's object of attraction. There's nothing worth noting about her other than she has sex with this man every episode and that she drags along the "plot" of this thing.

It was generally mediocre with sound and art; there's nothing much to comment on, especially since all that was supposed to be appealing was the sex. The voice acting was pretty standard, especially for moaning and sound effects were basic. If there was even music in this thing, I probably didn't even notice. The art is nothing new to me; it was neither good or bad, but simply something I've seen everywhere.

Overall, I found this pretty boring. Even the sex scenes were mediocre and the buildup to those wasn't even decent. So even for porn, there's nothing to enjoy even for a little bit. That says a lot for a series with each episode running about 10 minutes if I can remember correctly. Even for what was presented before I even watched, I literally didn't know what to expect so I came in with no expectation at all. But did I finish it all? Yeah. Why? To see how it all just culminates and what cliches would be stuck in there.

So yeah. I plan on not watching or reviewing anything like this (I mean hentai lol) and just don't waste your time on this like I did lol.

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I legitimately felt like watching a romance anime, so when I found this I was like ''why not?'' Big mistake. This is like a bad undercover hentai. The sex scenes are shit and there is no character development. It was almost like the person who made this was like, '' Oh, what if we made a hentai that didn't seem like a hentai so more people could watch it where all the sex scenes are the same with them wearing different clothes and being unemotional-pleasure-seeking robots that didn't have personalities.'' This was one crap anime. The art was off and there were honestly times where I thought the dude had a hole through his face because of horrible shadows. The storyline was lacking in every compartment and I hardly understood what was going on. I feel that if they weren't going to make a proper storyline the sex should at least be great, but it wasn't.

In other words, this is crap, don't watch it.

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You know what has kind of been getting on my nerves lately? The recent trend of borderline-hentai short TV anime, or the “seasonal smut”, as I like to call it. Ever since Souryo to Majiwaru (insert the rest of the long title here) came out in the spring of 2017, there would always be that one anime every season that is quite perverted and comes in two or three versions, with one being basically full-blown hentai and the non-hentai version(s) censoring the sexy scenes in rather awkward ways; all the while, little care is put into the other parts of the anime that could possibly make it enjoyable. Take the anime I’m about to review - the “seasonal smut” from back in the fall of 2018 - for instance. What we have here is the perfect example of a generic anime from the “seasonal smut” genre that encapsulates (no pun intended) exactly what that genre has to offer.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you’re ready for my review of an anime with a name that’s probably longer than its runtime, “Shuudengo, Capsule Hotel de, Joushi ni Binetsu Tsutawaru Yoru.”, known in English as “The Night When Me and My Boss Spent the Night at the Capsule Hotel After the Last Train and He Passed His Fever to Me”.

Shuudengo Capsule Hotel (as it will henceforth be called) follows Minori Aizawa, an office lady who constantly argues with her boss, Akihiko Hadano. One night, after a company drinking party, Minori happens to miss the last train of the night; thus, Hadano takes her to a capsule hotel, which is basically a hotel with small rooms that the beds make up. Unfortunately, Minori’s room happens to be taken, so she ends up rooming with Hadano for the night. (I’m sure you can guess where this is going....) That night plants the seed for Minori and Hadano’s growing relationship....

First of all, I might as well admit my cowardice and say that I watched the censored version (which I was SOMEHOW able to find with English subtitles); thus, I can’t evaluate the sex scenes. With that said, though, the way that the sex scenes were completely cut out was awkward, to say the least, and it made each episode’s already-short runtime even shorter. I cannot believe I am saying this, but anyone who wants to watch this (although I will say right now that you are better off not watching it at all) is probably better off watching the uncensored version as long as they are comfortable with watching the sex scenes. At least a good chunk of each episode isn’t cut out in that version!

Sex scenes or no sex scenes, though, the short runtime of this anime still hurts the story and characters. The story of Shuudengo Capsule Hotel is as generic of a love story as they come, and at some points, it was all over the place; to be frank, it wasn’t entertaining at all. The characters in this story weren’t much better. A noticeable trend in the “seasonal smut” genre - at least, the ones aimed at a female demographic - is that the man tends to come off as a rapist; while Hadano wasn’t really as much of a creep as characters like Aki Myojin from “Amai Choubatsu” - or at least, he didn’t come off like that to me - he still has creepy tendencies that show when he forces himself on Minori. Minori herself is the perfect example of how to write a perfectly bland character; other than maybe her looks, she really doesn’t have much going on for her, and even when she says “we can’t do this” or stuff like this in response to Hadano’s advances, you sure don’t see her struggling! Because of the runtime of this anime, Minori and Hadano’s relationship doesn’t get a good enough amount of development, but let’s be honest; no matter how much you try to develop a relationship like this, can you really consider it a healthy relationship that everyone who sees the series they are in will support?

Okay, the story and characters are an obvious bust, but what about the animation, voice acting, and music? Surely, they will be good enough, right? WRONG, especially if you are talking about the animation. The character designs are fine, but throughout the entire series, I kept spotting animation error after animation error, whether it came from the characters’ movements or the setting that they were in; the studio working on this, Suiseisha, really could have done a better job animating it. Maybe the sex scenes are better-animated? I don’t know for sure, but if that is the case, it really goes to show that they care more about the quality of the sex scenes than the quality of literally anything else. Well, at least there is the voice acting. It was alright; the voice actors didn’t give groundbreaking performances, but they did their best. The ending theme was also okay, but it’s ultimately forgettable.

I have spent all of this time bashing on Shuudengo Capsule Hotel, but is it the worst “seasonal smut” anime I have ever seen? No, but it is certainly not the best I have seen, either. Whether it is the worst or the best, however, I can say for sure that I do not recommend watching this anime, regardless of whether or not you’re watching it for the sexy times. I believe the same can be said for any of the “seasonal smut” anime there are; if you’re really watching for the “plot” and not the plot, you might as well watch hentai instead!

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