Hajimete no Gal

“Nobody dies a virgin...life fucks us all.”
-Kurt Cobain

We've all been there. Aimlessly meandering through our high school lives daydreaming about that fateful day we’ll finally lose our virginity. Thoughts of the opposite sex constantly flood our brains, in the form of unrealistic scenarios involving our crushes intoxicatingly succumbing to our supreme hotness. Naturally, high school is a perverted cesspool of teenage hormones, so more than likely you had your own clan of other clodhopping comrades to share phrases like “dude...tits” and “have you seen that chick’s online stream?” For some introverted, socially inept souls, whose virginity is as safe as a maximum security prison there ... are anime like Hajimete no Gal. A show that constantly reminds us how often the average male teenager thinks about sex, mostly in a sporadic and succinct manner. Unfortunately, after viewing all ten of its episodes, I can say I now know more than I ever cared to about the “average” Japanese teenager, ad nauseum. Join me as I explore how not to make an ecchi anime, in honest and excruciating detail.

To get something off the board immediately, Hajimete no Gal is not a traditional harem anime. A harem, by definition implies that the women “share” one male, which is the opposite of what happens in this show. Here's what transpires in a nutshell:

1. Awkward, unassuming dude Junichi starts dating popular girl Yukane out of peer pressure to lose his virginity.
2. Multiple chicks adversarial of their blossoming relationship come out of the woodwork in attempts to thwart their bond.
3. Junichi realizes there’s more to relationships than sex (SPOILER ALERT)
4. Junichi’s friend is an overt pedophile that deserves to be locked away for the rest of eternity.

That's pretty much it. Hajimete gets off to a hobbling start in the way of story. If you came into a ten episode anime labeled in the ecchi genre, you're probably an idiot for fathoming anything other than repetitive, lecherous humor or a plethora of oppai characters. As the anime begins to unfold, the season of love has arrived. Spring, as I'm seeing in Japan apparently causes the entire student populace to transform into a bunch of blithering horndogs. Couples are formed left and right, so our main protagonist and his friends are desperate to find ANY girl willing to approach them without a ten foot pole. Doesn't sound like the most enticing setup for an anime if you ask me. What follows could be a decent series between two characters forging their love, but instead implodes on itself due to some dreadfully written characters and haphazard perversion played off as comedy.

One big point to speak to in Hajimete no Gal is the writing. The comedic elements are very hit and miss. I'll be honest, there was more than one scene in the anime I busted up laughing. Whether it's the far fetched “what-if” illusions Junichi encountered or a dude showing up in a Kirito costume in an effort to impress girls, all did not fall flat. But plenty of it did, and the fact that Studio NAZ tried to pass off a pedophilic character as funny is a disgrace to entertainment enthusiasts everywhere. Hey, at least his friends didn't condone his behavior… Also, there's this:

“All I want is a dope pussy to fuck.”
Yes, this is a real line from the show.

I can't imagine the budget was very large for this anime, considering there were still-animated screenshots with singing or music in the background on more than one occasion. To me, it came across as a lack of effort on the studio’s behalf. In addition, there were plenty of failed censorships (for an ecchi), and useless scenes thrown into the mix. And yes, before you ask… there is an obligatory summer episode. Tits galore! The series attempts to find a common ground between the plethora of “nothing ever happens” high school romance anime (Ao Haru Ride) and the quicker escalating lewd shows like Prison School or High School DXD. Unfortunately it's poorly visioned, so a majority of the time is devoted to introducing characters, rather than developing the existing ones. Even a few more episodes would've done the writing staff some favor.

Though exhaustingly bland overall, I have to give Hajimete some credit with how it handles the main character’s relationship with Yukane. What starts off as a dare from his friends, actually turns into something of substance. It's everyone else in the show that I can't stand. At first, Yukane appears to be a tsundere, a trope vital to the framework of any harem anime. However, as things progressed, I actually began to somewhat respect her and the way she handled Junichi, knowing his original intentions for their relationship. It ended up being the only speck of quality in a sea of genericism. From what I understand, the studio ended up leaving out many of the manga scenes involving their development, most likely to better craft a “cash grabbing” series vice one of any legitimacy. It's a shame considering how much better the anime probably could've been.

Nene, the only girl that presumably had feelings for Junichi from the anime’s inception, possesses almost every quality I hate in a character. An incessantly ear-piercing voice, a loli physique (minus her enormous breasts) and the fact that she just gets in the way in every scene she accompanies. Along with the iriitating Nene, tanned dominatrix Ranko fills the quota of yandere, while Yui fills that of a tsundere. And of course, they all have their reasons for trying to steal Junichi away from his new girlfriend, come hell or high water. Junichi’s unintentionally abstinent posse consists of a guy with glasses who constantly shouts bombastic phrases, a pedophile who’s drawn a map of every elementary schooler’s location in his neighborhood (literally, wtf?!) and another seemingly average blonde haired dude that does little to nothing in the entire anime. Honestly, these characters only existed to interject punchlines, waiting in the wings for their chance to drop a pointed one-liner. None of the other side characters seemed to matter at all, as they were plot devices if anything.

For the life of me I can't understand why any animator needs to draw breasts as big as the characters have here. This is especially disconcerting when they appear on a girl who resembles a 12-year-old. Like, we all know the 4 foot 9 chick with size HHH tits amirite? This isn’t hentai guys, let's at least try to invoke some realism here. Many of you would be quick to respond with, "well it IS anime…”. This is where I would beg to differ. To me, characters that are drawn closer to a realistic scale are much sexier in anime. If I wanted to look at someone with elephantitis, I'd watch TLC or go to the weird part of Youtube. Who even likes this shit? The rest of the animation, while subpar, isn't anything I'd say was detracting from the show… unless that is you count the karaoke scenes the animators were too unskilled or lazy to even draw. Or also the inconsistent character model drawings, most specifically in the mall scene when the girls are trying on clothes. Okay, so maybe the animation sucks too. One thing I wasn't sure whether or not was intentional was the censorship. I understand censoring tits or va-jay-jay's, but panty shots too? What gives?! This IS an ecchi right? Show us virgin plebs some goodies!

Hajimete no Gal’s music is exactly what you'd expect from a flashy ecchi show. The OP can't seem to even understand genre of music it is, with cringeworthy dubstep elements thrown in because, ya know it's what the kiddies are listening to nowadays. The ED is a stereotypical scene of a scantily clad Yukane being “cute”... I honestly couldn’t think of any other noteworthy songs in the entire OST, with many droning on like a knockoff DDR track. Cheeky, high pitched vocals with a dose of fast techno bass; the epitome of J-Pop. Voice acting isn't too shabby, and I actually thought Shintara Asanuma’s portrayal of Junichi was above average. Definitely not a soundtrack I’d condone downloading, though it certainly won’t make your ears bleed.

For as critically bad as it is, I did find some sense of enjoyment in Hajimete no Gal. Through its short run time it did have trouble juggling blatant sex themes with building a believable relationship between the two main characters. At least Junichi learned rather quickly that losing your virginity is not the only important thing out of a relationship. Some people my own age even struggle with that (you know who you are Dave!). I'd recommend this for someone looking for a change of pace, or a good time passer. It's not as hard-core of an ecchi as some anime, but it should scratch the edge of anyone looking for that genre. Until we meet again, thank you for reading!

Story-1
Art-3
Sound-4
Character-2
Enjoyment-2.5
Overall-2.3

Hajimete no Gal is the perfect representation of the dreck the anime industry tirelessly manufactures: vapid harem twaddle devoid of spirit and interested solely in selling BluRays to wide-eyed otaku who think seeing uncensored anime panties is a wonderful way to spend 5000 yen. The reality is that Hajimete no Gal is worth less than a meal at Matsuya.

The difference between a harem anime that is well-received versus one that is not is that the popular ones tend to have a certain level of craftsmanship: they look nice-- particularly when focusing on the curvature of the female cast-- and have catchy openings and voice ... acting to drive the senses awild. If one was looking simply for some cheaply-produced masturbation fodder, why not, after all, just watch some 'hentai' (as the boys in the west call it) instead?

Hajimete no Gal begs that question repeatedly.

It is deeply uncertain about whether it wants to be a serious romance or flat-out pornography, and so it attempts to be both. And thus it fails to an almost astounding level.

Repeatedly (often more times in a single episode than can be counted with one hand) the anime will showcase the excessively-censored fantasies of Junichi-- the worthless protagonist-- where Yame and other members of the obligatory harem troupe force themselves on him sexually, begging for sex in the middle of a classroom, a karaoke booth, or some other absurd location that few would ever consider a good idea. Of course this exists because the anime does not have the courage to legitimately have sexual relationships portrayed within the show, and of course it leverages these scenes as an excuse to sell more BluRay copies to sexless otaku who have never walked into an R-18 store before.

The 'romance' of Hajimete no Gal may well be nonexistent, as Yame and the rest of the female cast never give a single reason for why they are interested in Junichi, much less why they so crave his penis. Yame agrees to go out with him, presumably, because she finds him fun to tease - but then blushes like a 10-year-old at the idea of a kiss. What? I'm sorry, but if you're going to sell an anime on the basis of it having a cast of gal characters - the gal trend being defined by promiscuity - then they should actually be such. If you wish to portray a story with toddlers who think 'indirect kisses' are a thing (and, good lord, this show has that aplenty), then please look to KyoAni's Chuunibyou for inspiration instead of hardcore pornography.

Junichi makes Ichika from Infinite Stratos and Rito from To Love-Ru seem tolerable by comparison. He is a spineless loser whose only goal in life is to lose his virginity (as if anyone in Japan these days actually cares if a high school student hasn't had sex), yet when presented with the opportunity to have sex, cowers like a baby or imposes self-righteousness upon them as if he is now somehow above having sex despite his constant, pathetic attempts at such for the entire series. His friends poke fun at how he might be a cuckold, but in reality, he is the embodiment of one, doing nothing when she sees another man hit on his supposed girlfriend, later throwing a tantrum about how worthless he is and how she deserves that man instead, only to get jealous when he later sees them talk to each other. Whining about how pathetic you are is not an attractive feature, and Yame and crew would do well to leave him aside until he grows up and grows a pair - something unlikely to happen in the event of future seasons. (Let us hope such events never come to pass.)

The rest of the cast is also comprised of cretinous wastes-of-space who do nothing to enhance the quality of the show or make it any less infuriating. You have Nene, the obligatory childhood friend character, massive (and frankly impossibly so) breasts included, who refers to Junichi as "onii-chan" and who he of course disregards despite her sex appeal and constant advances because, hey, treating your old friends like trash is a cool thing for anime protagonists to do. Other additions include Yui-- I had to look up her name as I couldn't remember it-- who is conveniently a lewd Nico Nico Douga streamer despite her rich, 'flawless' behavior at school, and Ranko (her name being a pun on the Japanese word for gangbangs...) whose only purpose in the anime is to beat people up, yell at Junichi and attempt to force sex upon him (sometimes both occurring simultaneously). Finally, there is Yame's aforementioned male friend-- a cackling douchebag and dreadful antagonist who behaves in no way resembling an actual human being-- and Junichi's three, pathetic friends who do little else but act jealous towards him and follow him around in the event that one of his harem members might so much as glance in their direction. If the only thing defining these kids and keeping their friendship together is their virginity, then, hey, maybe they were never actually friends in the first place?

Thankfully, there are only ten episodes, presumably because they used so many tropes that there are no longer any more cards left to pull from the hat. Onsens scenes, beach scenes where the protagonist lathers lotion onto the girls-- you name it. All the asinine trash the anime industry loves is here for your eyes and ears to feast upon. Hooray. Yahoo.

Hajimete no Gal looks cheap and sounds cheap. None of the fantasy scenes are arousing in any way, nor are the obscured pantyshots the show is so desperately marketing. It has about the same production quality as the average pornographic anime, which makes it a wonder why it couldn't have just been such instead. Even with the decreased characterisation and story a pornographic format would have involved, it would still have been a better anime. At least then it might actually be transparent and honest with itself.

I'm going to be quite blunt. Hajimete no Gal sucks. It is not quite abysmal, nor does it win the award for worst harem anime (Infinite Stratos is still a bit more egregious), but it still sucks. Don't watch things that suck.

Watching Hajimete no Gal is like consuming junk food of the worst kind. From the food fast menu, there’s McDonalds, Burger King, KFC, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, etc. Even among junks, there are sometimes decent ones that can be a guilty pleasure. Unfortunately, Hajimete no Gal is none of that and instead appeals as nothing short than garbage. Without a shadow of a doubt, I can safely say that upon finishing this series, it’s garbage behind comprehension.

First, let’s get to the more obvious. The show itself is based on a manga that hasn’t been out too long. (only 2 years in fact) It ... merely has four volumes and yet the producers decided to make this into an anime adaptation. That’s the least of problems though. The real problem begins with the cast of characters. At its core, there’s Junichi Hashibia, a second high school year boy who is an obvious virgin and wants a girlfriend. I can honestly confess that Junichi has some of the worst personalities you can find in anime that’s stitched together into one single entity. The guy has a perverted mind, often clueless about certain situations, and doesn’t seem to excel at anything. He also has some of the most pathetic friends at school and they are no better than him. The only thing that seems to be redeemable about his character is that he is loyal. That actually brings up his involvement with other female characters in the show.

From the cast of girls, we got a variety but the most easily noticeable is Yukana Yame. She’s a gyaru and often attracts the attention of guys and girl alike. Lady luck seems to be on Junichi’s side and Yukana actually decides to be Junichi’s girlfriend. However, their relationship is what I find pretty damn unappealing. Let’s face some facts here because they are nothing really alike. Yukana has school idol-like status while Junichi is a second rate loser. The two have different personalities and doesn’t seem compatible. While the show does give some convincing moments that they can co-exist as a couple, it still doesn’t change the fact that they don’t match. Their character chemistry has very dry humor that often begins from Junichi’s perverted mind or Yukana becoming jealous of other girls. Speaking of the others, the remaining character cast isn’t appealing either.

Nene is the typical childhood friend but instead of looking cute and innocent, the show decides to give her enormous boobs and an underage body. Not to mention, she has the personality of a child as she often tries to get Junichi to “ravage” her. Yui, the other school idol may seem like an elegant beauty at first. Yet, behind her pretty looks is a girl with a devious personality. Somehow, she believes everyone in the world loves her and she is their master. (well, that is except Junichi) Oh we can’t forget Ranko, the possessive close friend of Yukana. My first impression of her character is that she is an animal. Ranko is very aggressive and wants to protect her territory. In this case, it’s her friend Yukana. Unfortunately, it involves Junichi and the two ends up in some rather compromising positions. So there you have it. Our short yet controversial character cast. Now, if the show actually decided to focus more on characterization, then it would have some chance to salvage itself. Instead, it tries way too hard to appeal to their characters that results in questionable fetishes. I honestly felt uncomfortable watching this show because every episode seems to invite viewers to embrace their atrocious ideas.

The series’ storytelling is also pretty dreadful. The first few episodes aims at bringing out as much as fetishes as possible. The way it characterizes its female cast makes them look like sex objects. It seems all the guys in the show are perverted in some way or form with their personal desires. Each episode has moments that will show them, sometimes discretely if you pay attention. The overlay of the story seems to focus more on Junichi and Yukana’s relationships development. As I mentioned before, Junichi actually stays pretty loyal to his girlfriend and it’s even more surprising that Yukana is the most mature of the character cast. However, their relationship gets stale real fast. Nothing special really develops between them and instead relies far too much on sexual acts and teasing to do the work. If this show really decided to focus on relationships, at least move outside of Junichi and Yukana’s circle. Instead, the show overemphasizes on their relationship that itself is nothing but generic junk food.

Studio Naz adapts the animation although the visual quality itself is rather mediocre. The male characters look unremarkable with nothing that stands out from their looks. On the other hand, the female cast draws a lot of attention. Yukana is your gyaru girl and probably looks the most convincing compared to the others. The others all look pretty unrealistic. I mean, just look at Nene on that cover. Ranko is somehow allowed to dress like she’s half nude and enter school grounds without trouble. Yui looks normal on the surface but her other appearance looks like some teen idol character. And yes, it’s an ecchi show so expect tons and tons of fan service. The unavoidable beach episode, sexual positions, and lewd character expressions. You name it. It’s there. At many times, it seems the camera is having way too much fun with its angles.

The soundtrack and music will easily be forgettable as the most noticeable sounds of the show is when girls are moaning, yelling, etc. The OP and ED theme songs contains suggestive camera shots while the character voice mannerism all sound off beat. The only voice I can stand in this show is probably Yukana as she surprisingly sounds the most mature.

Hajimete no Gal is a show that I can’t really recommend to anyone unless you like junk and want to increase your watch-list. I mean, it’s only 10-episodes and it doesn’t take long to finish them all. You can even skip every scene that involves Junichi’s male friends as you wouldn’t miss a second of the plot. The plot itself is devoid of development and instead decides to puts its energy into the fan service. Rather than characterization, it decides to saturate them in the most sexual way possible. Hajimete no Gal is one of the very few shows that I gave a 2/10 this year and looking back, I probably won’t regret giving such a score. Oh but “why would you waste your time watching this in the first place, Stark?” Honestly, I wanted to see if this show can ever become better than the manga but unfortunately, that’s a distant memory now. This show is junk food and you can easily toss it into the trash after you’re done.