When a mysterious entity suddenly appears in the center of Tokyo, the Alta Mira Agency is tasked to repel the extraterrestrial threat. Otsuya Funagai must guide his all-female unit of "Battle Sole" pilots to take down the strange being no matter the cost. However, his intimate relationship with one of the pilots, Rin Ichikawa, may spell trouble for the team and the mission itself.
From Idea Factory, the creative minds that gave us Mars of Destruction, comes Tenkuu Danzato Skelter Heaven. I use the term creative minds loosely when it comes to anything from this studio. About the best I can say about this anime is, well its better than Mars of Destruction.
The info page says this anime is based on a game. I have never heard of it but I will take their word for it. Perhaps playing the game would have made the story make more sense. From what I can gather, five cute and huge breasted girls who also happen to
be artificial beings are part of a military team of mech pilots. Seriously if you’re going to go through the trouble of making artificial beings you might as well make them big breasted cute high school girls’ right!? Their job is basically to do clichéd school activities and train in bouncing chairs that shake their tits. A crisis situation hits Tokyo when a gigantic mechanical squid monster appears over the city. Apparently this is only a crisis when it starts moving and is immediately deemed an enemy. I guess if a giant floating squid appeared over Stockholm my country's military would react. But I kind of think someone would attempt communication with it first. I mean at least check and see if they have a killer recipe for miso soup first. Our heroines are so enthusiastic about being called to an emergency situation that they rush to their mechs. And by rush I mean they take the time to shower before leaving. There is a gigantic squid floating over Tokyo and they are completely oblivious to this as they horse around and practice archery. Sounds like an exciting story huh? At least its only 18 minutes long, and 4 minutes are OP/EN songs. It will be over soon, mercifully.
The characters are just as pointless as the story. The only way you might remember any of their names is that they are displayed in the OP animation. They are flat and uninteresting and completely clichéd stereotypes. There is also way too many of them. There are almost as many characters as there is minutes of animation. They exist and their boring, that’s about all you can say about them.
Looking at when this was produced I am actually surprised this came out a year before Mars of Destruction. The animation quality and overall production values is light years ahead of the before mentioned classic turd. Though let’s not get carried away, the art and animation still suck pretty bad. Skelter Heaven uses a lot of CG effects. I am not a fan of CG but for the most part these are pretty decent. They aren’t bad so much as silly looking. (in particular the giant floating squid monster) Where it really fails is the integration of the characters into the backgrounds and mech units. It’s hard to describe, but they almost look like cardboard cutouts placed on top of the CG effects. There isn’t much detail to any of the characters and besides their hair styles and colors there is basically no difference in any of them.
The sound and music is the best aspect of this show. Some of the acting performances are pretty horrible though and several characters including the male lead seem to have voices that are horrible matched to their characters. The songs at the OP and EN are ok and are probably the only thing that feels like it was done by anyone with any talent.
Perhaps if you played the game and REALLY liked it you might want to check this out. However, my guess is the game probably sucked really badly too. Its mercifully short so it has that going for it. But it’s also too short to develop any kind of story or interest in it. The ending is also open and unresolved as is the fates of several characters. Not that you will care.
For anyone who has watched and completed Mars of Destruction and thought it was the worst thing you have ever laid your eyes on, I (and probably anyone who has seen this) invite you to experience the joy of wasting 20 minutes of your day and watch Tenkuu Danzato Skelter Heaven. I was completely blown away at how terrible Skelter Heaven really is... it was so terrible that its funny, 10 minutes later and I'm still laughing
I could bore you with how terrible the animation is, or how poor and lackluster voice acting is, or even how they managed yet again to skip a plot
only to later try to create one at the end... I shall not do that.
If you're in for everything you love and hate in an anime all rapped up into 19 minutes, or you just need a laugh, even if you find yourself with too much time on your hands then this is the right anime for you.
At times like this why isnt there a zero rating?
I really recommend that everyone watch this, it's only 19 minutes but remember, there are no refunds
From the genius that brought you "Mars of Destruction" comes..."Skelter Heaven"!
Yoshiteru Satao...That is a name that sends a cold shiver up the spine of any anime critic. This guy isn't just a bad anime director, he is THE bad anime director. Everyone has a director they personally hate. The famous anime reviewer Bennett the Sage has stated that Masami Oobari is the worst director of all time. Oobari is BAD, he is REALLY bad, but he doesn't even compare to Satao. Even the second worst anime director: Iko Suzuki with his 1,2,3, punch combo to the testicles ( Sleeping with Hinako, DearS, and Dark Cat)
isn't able to touch Satao. You will know a Yoshiteru Satao anime the moment it starts. It is never ambiguous on whether or not it may have a redeeming quality. It is just eye melting horrible the entire time.
As mentioned above, Skelter Heaven is the 2nd MASTERPIECE released by Satao after his much acclaimed anime "Mars of Destruction". I would have taken a 1 million dollar bet that NO ONE could make a worse anime than Mars of Destruction, but Skelter Heaven does exactly that! Once again we have characters so bland that their hair colors are their only distinguishing personality trait. We have eye raping GOD AWFUL use of CGI. Finally of course we have a twist ending so stupid that M Night Shamylan would laugh at it! I can't emphasize enough that absolutely NOTHING in this anime works! There isn't a single nice thing I can say about it!
Giant Squid aliens attack Tokyo, so teens in giant mechs must combat the evil squids...which simply stay in one spot and don't move. It is like someone cut out a google image jpg of a squid, slapped it on the screen, and just left it there stationary with zero animation. Like Mars of Destruction, Satao is blatantly trying to ripoff NGE again, but he clearly has ZERO concept of what actually made NGE work as an anime. Instead we are just left with another absolutely mystifyingly bad abortion of an anime.
Don't watch this anime! Don't even think about watching this anime! You could spend those 30 minutes masturbating. You could spend them bashing your head against a wall! You could spend them doing basically ANYTHING, and it would be a better use of your time than watching Skelter Heaven!
"If the best thing I can say about your show is that the girls are hot, then your show is terrible!" -CodeBlazeFate, approx. 1 month ago
Hey look; it's everyone's least favorite cuntbag back for another round round of demolishing a long since dead horse. This time, we're gonna be taking a look at the lowest ranked anime of all time (well, at least on this website anyway), with an aggregate score of 1.94/10 as of the time I'm writing this. That number is impressively low to say the least. Produced by the same people that produced everyone's favorite nightmare, Mars of Destruction, this anime actually
makes that addition (that came out a year later) an improvement, and that really speaks volumes of how awful this show is. So, what happened? What went down to make the collective user base of MyAnimeList dub this the undisputed worst anime of all time? Well, let's find out, shall we?
STORY AND CHARACTERS: 1/10
Nothing happens for any sort of reason. We know that aliens are attacking and that these girls pilot mechs to stop them and that a research facility is there for this purpose but we don't know if these girls are the only ones who can stop them. We spend half of it just seeing the girls dick around while their leaders discuss things and half on one singular battle. The girls with barely any personality whatsoever (some of whom don't have names apparently in this adaptation) act like they're undergoing a character arc and that they've endured much together, and I'm sure this happened in the original visual novel, but here, that's not true at all. Was this made for the VN readers? Even they wouldn't like it anyway thanks to the atrocious pacing of video game cutscene levels and the even more abysmal CGI. I mean it when I say the pacing is atrocious. Emotional payoffs don't remotely work either since it feels like this was supposed to span a couple of episodes for us to get to know the characters and whatnot. The characters are as basic as they can be, if not worse, and character relationships are rushed beyond belief. This isn't just a bad anime, it's a bad adaptation.
Let’s address the elephant in the room; the CGI is fucking awful. It is some of the worst CGI I have ever seen in my life. It looks worse than Sega Dreamcast CGI, which came out in the mid-90’s, a decade prior to this, you know, when games were still experimenting with CGI? The mechs are that bad, and so are the squid...alien...things! As a mecha fan myself, this probably hurts even more. Also, any and all impact and action with these things is clunky and awkward as all hell. The character art style is also pretty mediocre. Here’s a scene where the alien sprouts extra tentacles and it looks like a video game glitch occurred. The OP shows the game models, that look better than this. I mean, the girls are still hot (and that's literally the only good thing about this anime) but there are better styles, even for the time, that they could've been rendered in, be given that this was a digital style from pre-2006, I’m just glad they didn't use the SEED/SEED Destiny art style. Also, the OP contains mostly footage that would be blatantly reused in the actual scenes themselves, so make of that what you will.
The OP, “NAKED HEART" by Minori Chihara, is pretty bad and sort of obnoxious. It doesn't even fit with the intended tone of this anime. The ED, “Marionette (マリオネット)" by Minori Chihara, is just eh, but at least this one works better with the “tone” of this anime. The rest of the music is just bleh and there, not adding to anything, and just being mediocre or somewhat bad tracks that aren't even memorable. I mean, I've heard worse, I've heard the OST to Mahouka after all (and the beeping haunts me to this very day), but that doesn't make this one good in the slightest.
This was even more boring than Mars of Destruction, and evenless unintentionally funny. I fact, I felt more repulsed thanks to the hideous mech CG and overall incompetent script that feels rushed as hell. It's 18 minutes of awful that is somehow not offensive enough for me to outright loathe my bad experience with this show. Still, I don't see how this is even unintentionally entertaining. It was just horribly boring.
OVERALL: 1/10 RAW SCORE: 1.43/10
So, that was Skelter+Heaven. No wonder people have widely considered this to be the worst anime ever made. I mean, I personally feel like there are a few worse ones out there, but this is still up there. The visuals are repulsive, the pacing is abysmal, and the characters and writing behind them are borderline wasteful and assuming too much of the audience that probably hasn't a clue as to what is going on because they, like me, haven't played the VN. Fuck this anime for being just pathetic. With all that said. I bid you adieu.
There are plenty of bad anime out there. But only a few shows are downright unwatchable. Ugly animation, nonsensical plots, and boring characters sink many anime, but only some fail in every possible way. Here are ten of the worst anime you'll wish you'd never wasted your time on.