Greetings, commoners. It is I, Emilie De Rochefort the Great. Due to the informal situation, you may call me Lili.
As many of you have no doubt noticed, Namco made the very questionable decision to omit me from the CGI feature "Tekken: Blood Vengeance". Instead, they offered me to watch and review it for this particular website, an offer I graciously accepted.
Now, many (or all) of you may find my omission from this movie to be highly alarming. After all, I am the main character of the Tekken franchise, and the entire plot revolves around me and my exciting exploits. But I suppose that some
...
fans of the series would enjoy seeing the side characters get 93 minutes in the limelight.
Now, without further ado, let us get to the bottom of things. Sebastian, bring our guests some chairs. We'll be here for a while.
The story revolves around some high school girl I don't know being hired by some evil corporation to spy on a strapping young lad named Shin Kamiya, whom you may know from the hit Tekken spin-off: A Certain Ridiculous Plot Device. Hm? What's that? Shin wasn't actually in any of the games and was just created for the sole purpose of being a generally unimportant non-character to fill empty spaces in promotional images? O-of course I knew that! I was just testing you. And you passed! G-good job!
Sebastian, shut down the Tekken Wiki for feeding me false information!
Anyway, none of this is actually important, as it is simply pointless build-up to a highly ridiculous finale where a father and his beloved son turn into dragons and start firing laser beams at each other.
And no, it doesn't make any more sense in context.
The main flaw of the story is that plotlines are frequently picked up and then unceremoniously dropped mere moments later. Was Shin Kamiya actually relevant to anything ever? Was there a point to the whole Xiaoyu and Alisa friendship story? Was the convenient ancient power buried under some castle ages ago that the villain used to fashion a giant mecha made of wooden statues ever explained or given any foreshadowing whatsoever?
The answer to all of those questions, children, is no. None of the characters have their personalities fleshed out, and none of their motives nor objectives were ever clearly explained. Indeed, my presence would have greatly improved this vulgar display of plotting incompetence. I might even go so far as to say that I would have come up with a much more satisfying story.
But enough of that. Did I ever mention that I have a beautiful singing voice? In fact, my debut single, "I Am Wonderful (And You Wish You Were Me)" is available for download at bTunes right now. I do believe your life would be greatly improved by purchasing and listening to said work of musical art.
Speaking of voices, that is something I found myself to be mildly delighted with in regards to this production. The English cast (I did not feel like forcing myself through this a second time to form an opinion on the Japanese audio track) includes a plethora of well-known names, many of which did a very competent job on conveying the very flawed script.
The soundtrack was more or less what one would expect from my humble franchise, with generic techno and rock pieces playing over the fight scenes.
Ah, the fight scenes. Indeed, one of this movie's greatest strengths is the animation. The fight choreography is elaborate and the CGI is, in general, very pretty. Obviously, my very graceful fighting style would have worked wonders in attracting moviegoers, and I would of course have won all the fights. There is no fighter in this world who would even hope to stand a chance against fabulous moi. Would you perhaps like to watch a demonstrative film of my eloquent fighting moves? Sebastian, prepare the projector. We must make sure to entertain our loyal audience.
Getting back to the topic, though I would rather not do so, I suppose this feature could be described as "all style, no substance". The action is fast and stylish, but the storyline is, to put it in vulgar terms, an absolute mess of biblical proportions.
Actually, everyone who has already watched this movie is in agreement that me taking on the star role would have made the entire production at least eight times better. I know it's true because I read it on the "inter-web". As a modest lady, I cannot flat-out state that I think the same, but let it be known that I do, and that the primitive minds at Namco have committed an act comparable to inefficiently slicing off their own heads with wooden spoons by refusing me a role in this utter travesty.
Sebastian, get Producer Harada on the phone and tell him that I will not stand for any more of this nonsense. I think it's time that he learned his rightful place in the world.
Oh? You're still here? I advise you to stay away from this sordid trainwreck, as it is nothing but a load of nonsense peppered with occasional overblown battle scenes. Namco seem to have realised their mistake, as they are now preparing a full TV anime series by the name of "Magical Fighter Lili II: Saving The World With A Smile ~A Tekken Story~". I am certain that it will be the most popular show of the Summer 2015 season.
It's time for my afternoon tea. Farewell.
Alternative Titles
Japanese: 鉄拳 BLOOD VENGEANCE
More titlesInformation
Type:
Movie
Episodes:
1
Status:
Finished Airing
Aired:
Jul 26, 2011
Producers:
Bandai Namco Games
Licensors:
Bandai Entertainment
Studios:
Digital Frontier
Source:
Game
Theme:
Martial Arts
Duration:
1 hr. 32 min.
Rating:
PG-13 - Teens 13 or older
Statistics
Ranked:
#62392
2
based on the top anime page. Please note that 'Not yet aired' and 'R18+' titles are excluded.
Popularity:
#4531
Members:
23,108
Favorites:
37
Available AtResources | Reviews
Filtered Results: 13 / 13
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Your Feelings Categories Nov 18, 2011
Greetings, commoners. It is I, Emilie De Rochefort the Great. Due to the informal situation, you may call me Lili.
As many of you have no doubt noticed, Namco made the very questionable decision to omit me from the CGI feature "Tekken: Blood Vengeance". Instead, they offered me to watch and review it for this particular website, an offer I graciously accepted. Now, many (or all) of you may find my omission from this movie to be highly alarming. After all, I am the main character of the Tekken franchise, and the entire plot revolves around me and my exciting exploits. But I suppose that some ... Jul 26, 2011
Ah... where to begin? The nonsensical plot? The horrendous dialog? The non-existent character development? If it weren't for the gorgeous 3D visuals of the movie it would be a complete and utter failure.
Harada and Sato's mission to create an accessible and enjoyable Tekken film for non-Tekken fan falls flat on its face. Only someone with a flawless understanding of the Tekken lore could understand how this movie makes sense. With only a passing knowledge of the Tekken story line, it's very difficult to understand where this fits and why it was necessary. The story of two ... Jan 31, 2012
Whoever composed the trailer for this film deservers some sort of award for editing, because i for one was whole-heartedly anticipating this film a great deal.
Given the sheer amount of characters and character turnover, and the fact we're now approaching the 6th generation of games, the story has been somewhat of a shambles for some time. That said they do attempt to the focus the story on a handful of cast members, with the odd cameo appearances from Tekken regulars. Xiaoyu, Jin, Kazuya, Anna and Nina make up the main stays, joined by newcomer from the most recent game Alisa Bosconovitch. Xiaoyu is recruited by Anna ... Aug 12, 2014
When I hear Tekken, I remember those days when I has a PS2 and mashed buttons till my fingers wore out.
This is the only reason I bothered to watch this anime. To those who haven't played any of the games and those who have an interest in the series - don't bother watching this. If you want to know why read on. I never had any great expectations whatsoever from this anime but I had some standards. - Special effects - Lots of characters from the franchise - Good action scenes ... Mar 13, 2019
Everyone in the cross section between the fandoms of Tekken and anime probably knows of the legendary turd that is the "Tekken" anime. If they don't, chances are they spent a lot of money in therapy to suppress the terrible memory.
Over a decade later, Bandai Namco probably figured that to leave "Tekken" as the sole anime representation of the franchise is akin to leaving a shit stain smeared across the company logo, so they decided clean things up by green lighting "Tekken: Blood Vengeance". This time, you know they mean business, cos it involves people who actually worked on the Tekken games: the studio ... Dec 1, 2011
Anybody who's into the games, like myself, knows the annoyance of the tiny personal storylines, conbined with the major plot, then ending with a cliffhanger at the conclusion of each game - which means we must wait another four or so years for another snippet of the story - a tedious cycle!
Does this movie fill in any holes... NO!!! If you are a fan of the Tekken video games and you hope this will do the popular series justice as an adaptation - you may be dissapointed. If you think this movie will provide you with some anwsers the games have yet to deliver - you ... Nov 28, 2011
This is my first review, so please, bear with me if I do something wrong.
Introduction: I’ll try to write this review from points of view of both, Tekken fans and people that barely heard of it. There isn’t much of a story summary on MyAnimeList right now, so I’ll write something short. For people that know Tekken, they need only to know that the infamous grandfather, father, son trio is at it once again. For others, keep reading. Summary: The main character is Ling Xiaoyu (side character in games) who is given a mission from G-Corp to spy on a certain guy called ... Nov 30, 2011
Screw the Plot, I have ACTION!!
or, so i'd like to say. but unfortunately, this one wasn't that good. Story 3/10 It's basically about two fathers and two sons who all go hunting... for power, and people get caught in between. yeah, a really unique plot, i must say. but aside from that, how it was told in this movie was pretty bad. ... May 14, 2012
My boyfriend downloaded this movie for me because of my own curiosity (Admittedly, I'm a Tekken fan myself). And now, this is the result of my answered curiosity..
Story? 3. The plot wasn't very well developed and at some points, you won't understand where it is going. Art? 10. Graphics were really good. It was very clear. Animation is awesome. Sound? 7. I think it was okay. Characters? 6. Of course, the characters look the same as those in video games. I rated it "Good" because only few characters appeared in the movie. So don't expect that you'll see them all. **sorry, Spoiler. Enjoyment? 7. For a Tekken fan, at ... Jan 15, 2017
For me the Story, was fairly good but only if you've played a Tekken game or know about the Tekken universe. The Art and Sound, were honestly on life level, every scene was on par and each conversation, action scene and each combo was pretty swae. The warm up fight between Xiaoyu and Alisa really preped me for the fight between Jin Kazama, Kazuya Mishima, Heihachi Mishima. Now that was hectic, the fighting scene though really pumped me, every punch was like a f*#k you, power behind those punches. Great movie, and the Orchestra bg was magical.
The bond between Xiaoyu and Alisa showed me ... Apr 18, 2018
Don't watch it for the story, watch it for the Tekken aesthetic.
If you are not a Tekken fan, this film will not be worth a watch or even a glance. For a true Tekken fan this is perfection. This is by no means a masterpiece. I came in expecting to see the wacky world of Tekken come to life. I was treated with an amazing cast of spot-on characters, exciting fights and a non-sensical plotline. This to me is the heart of Tekken. It felt like I was watching a long Tekken cinematic. As a big fan of the cinematics found in the game, this delivered on ... Oct 31, 2019
Hello bullitbaby here to help you understand the only reason ANYONE watched this anime. We loved the fighting games of yore.
The end. On a rather sadistic note, i must say i began doing things during the movie like keeping track on paoer the number of times the dialog didnt match the mouth movements. Someone said, hey just make the mouth move, noone watches peoples mouths. Noone but ME muuuhhahahah. Anyway, i lost count around 791 times. This anime also has another weird thing to count on paper. The number of times that the animation chracters eyes move in a strange ... Oct 26, 2019
The Tekken franchise is amongst the most famous and entertaining martial fighting videogames but when it comes to stories, they plain suck. Most characters have a backdrop story alright but it is usually simple or doesn’t really head anywhere. Along the years it has also received three movie adaptations (so far) in an attempt to please the fans. One was a low budget production from 1998, which is considered to be one of the worst adaptations of all time because studio DEEN made it. In 2010 there was also a live action adaptation by dear old Hollywood and it is also considered bad for its
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