Let's begin with this totally alien concept called the story. Of which you won't be getting any for about 9 episodes in a row (yes, out of 12 total). No joke—this is essentially a slice-of-life series about Dante showing off. And before you ask the obvious question—yes, it has less of a story than the action games the setting is taken from. Furthermore—just to tease you—at several points you get an impression that some general plot is about to emerge (it eventually does, but already after you have lost all hope for it), but the very next moment you have your expectations casually ruined once again. You could probably even watch episodes 2–9 in any order without disturbing the narrative. For that exact reason you shouldn't worry about spoilers when discussing this series, as it's virtually impossible to spoil anything of substance. Rating the story with 3 is me being generous here, owing it mostly to the universe created by the DMC game series.
Oh yeah, Dante. As I mentioned earlier, everything in this series is about showing Dante in the process of, uh... being cool? He tries so hard he transcends the meaning of the word "cool", being the living embodiment of coolness never seen since the cool came to cool town. He always has that swag going, and his sense of fashion oozes style—as imagined by a 14-year-old. Obviously, he only eats the most badass food in existence... you guessed it, as imagined by a 14-year-old: pizza, strawberry sundae, beer—none of your chump gourmet garbage. He has the craziest, totally overpowered weapons—because dramatic stakes are for pussies. Even his name has that aristocratic feel to it. Unsurprisingly, every time he's up for a job, he always does it single-handedly—be it a bike race, gambling, or butchering a several-stories-tall demon in mere seconds—always with that detached facial expression that serves to underline his towering superiority. Yet somehow he always fails to complete his primary objective because he's just too damn righteous or whatever. Ermagherd, what an impossibly cool dude! And even during all that action, he appears to be bored out of his mind, almost depressed by doing something so utterly mundane. One-Punch Man too popular for you? Take a look at this gem then: DMC did the "overpowered MC bored by flaccid antagonists" shtick some 8 years before everyone's favorite egghead came into being. Hellsing Ultimate has too much of that annoying character development? DMC should be right up your alley—it doesn't have any of that. Ladies and gentlemen, we have officially reached peak shallow. If you aren't sure what "peak shallow" looks like, imagine a zit on the ground; that should work.
On the topic of characters, the entire cast is mainly there to support Dante by... yes, being glorified foils, looking deliberately uncool in comparison. First, we have Morrison, who is old-fashioned, intelligent, and an exemplary gentleman, almost a polar opposite of Dante. Then there's Patty, the token loli moe-blob comic relief character whose presence is never justified despite screenwriter's best efforts (which fail spectacularly, of course). A notable character is the creatively-named Lady, who is also quite a cool, uh, lady—but... still not quite there, you know? This, however, doesn't prevent her from being far more capable at her job. But hey, if Dante doesn't bother doing the thing, it must not be very cool after all, right? There's also Trish, who is somewhere between Lady and Dante on the scale on coolness and never gets any screen time. The distribution of screen time in general seems to be decided by a coin toss, befitting the interchangeable, meandering nature of the support cast. (That said, I gotta give some credit to designs and the fact that they're occasionally entertaining (if only because they try so hard) and evoke memories of better-written characters from the action anime of the days past; really makes you wish they were put in capable hands.) Lastly, there is that typical cartoony small fry antagonist who, despite being an obnoxious eyesore, behaves like a plot-significant character and—in a great plot twist (gasp!)—actually ends up being one. At that point you'll just have to be a man and brace yourself for the trainwreck. Even if you're a woman, become a man and then brace yourself; there is no sweeter imagery than a man bracing himself for a trainwreck.
There isn't much to say about the show's sound and visuals. They're generally competently made and adequate for the subject matter, though some scenes could have definitely been animated better (as in *actually animated* rather than panned across the screen), and the music somewhat lacks variety—almost all of it is mere variations on the three dominant themes.
All in all, DMC is the kind of show you'd want for some simple braindead entertainment when you've run out of the more entertaining content to watch. Don't expect anything beyond that, as you'll be met with nothing but disappointment. Just get your beverage of choice, a pack of favorite snacks, press play, and tune out. Alternatively, go play the original games and forget the anime adaptation ever existed.
