plot: 1/10
Green Green is about an all male school located in the middle of nowhere that suddenly has female guest students for a few months as a social experiment. Now the boys must spend those months trying to get into the girls' pants. That's it. That's the entire plot. The reason Fate Stay Night worked was because it actually had a plot and characters beyond a bare bones set up for characters to start banging! Even Seikon no Qwasar tried harder than this to develop a plot! Green Green has the plot complexity of a seedy 1970s porno with Ron Jeremy or John Holmes. A pizza delivery guy goes over to a hot chick's house and suddenly the power goes out. We took out all the fucking scenes so...they sit around and do nothing. End. Fin. Das Ende
characters: 1/10
Our bland and shitty MC is named Yusuke, NOT to be confused with infinitely better MCs of the same name. The other main characters are a trio of bumbling idiots called appropriately... the "idiot trio". Dear GOD do I hate these 3 guys! They are some of the most loathsome, obnoxious, odious characters I have ever seen in an anime. They are supposed to be the comic relief, but instead they simply cause the viewer to grind his or her teeth into dust. They were supposed to have an annoying yet likeable dynamic similar to Team Rocket from Pokemon. However, I could never hate Jesse, James, and Meowth like I hate these fuckers no matter how stale and repetitive the Team Rocket Motto got after 300 episodes. Imagine you took Team Rocket's level of redundant obnoxiousness, but replaced Jesse, James, and Meowth with: Shou Tucker from FMA, Makoto from School Days, and pedo stepfather from Elfen Lied. THAT would be like the Idiot Trio from Green Green!
art and sound: 3/10
The art looks pretty shitty, although the animators at least tried to add boob jiggle effects. The boobs look awful, but I guess I will give them a point for effort. The soundtrack...was garbage. The opening theme is J-pop ear sodomy, the background music may as well not exist, and the closing theme is more ear sodomy. The voice acting is some of the worst I have EVER heard in any anime and I have seen most of the Central Park Media titles! This is on par with fucking Garzey's Wing! Also in case anyone involved with the US dub of Green Green is reading this, the name is pronounced Yuse-kay. 2 syllables. It is NOT yu-SU-kay. You dumb bastards!
Enjoyment: "Tamakeri" / 10
Don't know what tamakeri is? Google it bitches!
Overall: 2/10
Green Green wanted to just be another harem comedy. It aimed for mediocrity and ended up with an absolute TRAIN WRECK of a show! I have no idea how the hell this happened. It isn't that hard to make a mediocre harem anime worthy of a 4 out of 10. Green Green just sucked a golf ball through a garden hose in every category.
PS:
I shouldn't use a real life tragedy to make a joke, but I couldn't mention Green Green without bringing up a certain "elephant in the room". Green Green is SO bad that it may have actually helped push a famous, mentally unstable anime critic over the edge. In the early days of youtube, one of the most popular and subscribed to anime critic was a guy named "Mr Anime". His last review was Green Green in which he was foaming at the mouth with rage at how bad this series was...then the next week he went on a murder spree and is now in jail for life with no chance of parole! Obviously Green Green can't cause neurological disorders, but could it have possibly helped give him that final push by making him REALLY angry? It can't be entirely ruled out. Green Green is simply that bad! It is the Cthulu of anime. Those that gaze upon it are driven mad!
