thanks :) bit happier now. My best friend's coming round so we can drink a bit tonight. Still need to get ready for exams and so much other work XD. I might need to do some retakes.
There is. She on the other hand says that she's over' me already... I kind of doubt it, but. Don't really know what to think.
Not interrested atm no. Need to focus on exams, after that got a bit of time to relax and revise.
Yeah I know what you mean. A port of call when there's a storm outside. Maybe it's just America... you seem to have good grammar and reasoning - from what my ex said, the standard of education there isn't that great (ie: she could do maths a year level above her, and she still struggles with stuff people did here before uni).
Other people have said that too... still, can't help feeling unhappy, and almost bad for breaking up with her. I guess I took it too seriously to begin with.
Well I'm off to do some washing, and cooking ;). TTYL.
Just broke up with my GF. Feel hollow.
Been crying previously, but I don't feel the urge to right now.
She had kissed another girl, and I couldn't really move on a week after. On top of that there were little things, but I guess you could say it was the straw that broke the camel's back... well Anvil.
I still love her, but. I don't really want to be screwed around - it felt as if she was constantly trying to push her boundaries with me. I even cooked for her every day, and did anything she wanted on a whim.
She used to throw a tantrum (and stop me) every time I wanted to do something or go somewhere, even broke a "promise" she made - probably a bit unstable. The one time this isn't true is when I got really pissed off and went clay pidgeon shooting on my own this was the second time that I had booked it for her and she just went no I don't really want to.
Good side I guess... she kept me happy and smiling when I had other difficulties sometimes, but that seemed to be almost outweighed by the times I came into her room expecting cokmfort and all I got was moody max. The only time I could really rely on her to be supportive is when she was on her period - weird.
That last paragraph hit a chord somewhere deep down.
Guerss is back to lonely self loathing me for now - just in time for exams. I'm sure she'll get over me quickly enough though. Last time she went to America she practically forgot about me, acted almost like I was a stranger when she came back.
Don't think I want another GF for a while. No point. Don't have time with all my other things. Especially atm. Need to focus on exams. At least I don't have to worry about the money side of things for now - not only do I not have to pay for stuff, but my bar job money AND my student loan is coming through at the same time - over £2000 total. Really fucking ironic. Just when I dont really need it anymore. Guess there's always digging myself out of the £1000 overdraft on my student account.
All I want is someone to live for that I can rely on. Is that too much of me to ask? I dunno. Guess it is since we're all just human. Still the idea of it is nice.
Should probably have an early night in. More lectures and stuff tomorrow. Kit to wash and iron, stuff to sort out, revision to be done. The empty bed is so uninviting... Maybe I'll just sleep on the floor. I have a roll mat and sleeping bag. Nah I've had enough of that the last 3 days. Don't particularly want to think about this weekend , just want to sleep...
By the way did you know that a prison meal costs more than a squaddie's meal. That's a grateful country that is. Then again I'm nothing more than a tool to be used anyway. No real purpose in life - an odd tool, but still a tool. I don't deserve happiness or peace. - 'least that's the only way I an justify it to myself.
Sorry about the moap fest. You're the first person I could think of to talk to. Cheers anyway for reading.
Elfen Lied properly got me into anime ^-^ it's a good watch imo.
:O probably becasue it's America it's cheaper too. In the UK we're ripped off for any foreign manga/games by the American ideology "$=£?"
Yeah I guess there' more work than before :S
Aww I'm sorry. I dunno what to say. Do you talk often?
They're cheaper therefore I have to tolerate them for now >.>... still they're easier than forgetting to take out contacts every now and then (I've once worn a pair for almost 48 hrs when you're supposed to take them off after 12 XD).
Yeah we have a month long easter one coming up and a long summer one - end of june to start of October I think.
Heya sorry about that, it's been more than hectic here.
I've got a bar job now that I do once a week - might change it to more next term depending on the workload. Skint at the moment because I still haven't been paid by them :S.
All anime watching is more or less on halt... apart from a casual pokemon episode every now and then - season one :P no real reason apart from melancholy I guess.
Atm glasses loat a screw after I chucked them onto the desk, so they need fixing and I don't have any contact lenses left XD not going to lectures until I can get 1 or the other.
Playing through mass effect 2 - spent the last 2 days doing that actually. My last weekend for a while with my GF and we fail to do anything interresting because the shopping plans fall through, then I get angry at her for kissing another girl and we don't do anything for an entire day.
Oh btw: we've already broken up and got back together - aparently she saw it in a movie or something really stupid like that... she was pushing me away for a while since she came back from christmas skiing and family (California), then asked if I wanted an open relationship (no), and finally she went let's just be friends... the next day she already wanted me back. I don't really get it. She did get me this nice watch and a maid outfit for herself... my mum told me to give back the money for the watch :/.
I've started doing more exercise - every 2 or so days now... I'm trying to improve my recovery rate with the bleep test. Soon as the yearly physicals are over for TA, I'm starting some tabbing (weighted fast-walk) haven't done that in a while.
My course is getting on pretty well - some fun bits some outright boring :P but I guess that's life. In labs we're doing some more difficult stuff, and we're entering the final stretch before tests. 2 or 3 more weeks :P. I'm screwed XD. How's yours?
You been getting up to much?
PS: Next 3 weekends I have TA things, then it's a holiday where she's going back again.
From the state of Schwarzenegger :P - at least she takes me out on dates and stuff since I don't have much money, I feel kinda bad sometimes. Next term hopefully I can plan out time better and go running and waterpolo and kung fu more.
Our breaks here aren't great and we have to do work during them :(. Yeah pretty much all of my student loan's going to that and I don't really have a job, even though I applied twice at a bar that always needs people - I'm trying to get answers :S
Well I don't know too many of my grades, but of those I do I'm getting either 100% or between 50-60%... I don't like writing stuff... talking even less o0 - I did maths, further maths, physics and chemistry for A levels.
Going home's gonna be so nice :D It's gonna be so much different from playing games at uni! The food will be free and I won't even have to make dinner - and that's sometimes more than I eat in a day here anyway.
Actually yesterday I didn't eat at all because I was tired from the days before, then I saw Maxi off at the airport, then played some games, then went to sleep at 4pm then woke up today at 7am. I feel more rested than I have in the last couple of months or so. Anyway I only realized that I didn't eat around 10am, and I didn't even have breakfast till 2 XD.
2 months :O. I have about 3 weeks AND I have loads of work to do... 3 weeks starting tomorrow that is.
I have a gf now ^-^. She's American too. Gfs are a lot more work than I expected... I'm so not keeping up with all the things that I wanted to either. I also need a job - no monies :( and my student loan isn't as big as it should be... bah.
My course is a lot of work. I have to attend all the lectures and labs. Today since I was way behind, I went to labs at 9am and came back at 7 pm. >.>
Bah expenciveness :P. Next year I should have more money because I won't be living in overpriced halls!
There's loads more conventions that go on in America, this is like the only 1 I can get to... and it'll be the first time for me going, last year I completely gave up on it because I couldn't make the cosplay in time (first time trying that too... wasn't a good idea)
But I am worried D: most people got better than me in maths :(.
Heh that thing... I might watch it. That pic on here advertises it better. Yeah I'm almost done with vol.1 School Rumble (raw), and I need to find more :/ well anyway there's a huge (or so they say) manga library at uni which I might delve into given half a chance - but it's English only :(.
Why don't you like me D:... :P, $30 isn't cheap for me o0. But I'm dishing out a decent ammount (£20-£30) this sat, going to the MCM expo (anime and gaming convention... I swear it was made for me)
We did a start of term test, and I got 48% in the maths test :'(. I hope I don't have to take extra classes, I didn't do any work for the test (I didn't know it was on) and I took too long on questions that I didn't have to.
Oh well, at least now I can remember that sin(a+b)=sin(a)cos(b)+sin(b)cos(a) and cos(a+b)=cos(a)cos(b)-sin(a)sin(b)
Feeling kinda crappy atm, not the whole body-aching-due-to-too-much-physical-work but just so many problems since the start of the year. Guess you can't really run away from reality though can you :P.
I think I'm getting a cold and I seem to have pulled something in my left leg :S, but apart from that I'm feeling better now.
I have some sort of schedule and I know what I'm going to be doing and when :D. The stupid student loan hasn't come through yet, but I can make do with my overdraft atm, and my halls-paying-deadline is being extended ^-^.
Now I'm off to dress up like my DP and go eat dinner with people from my halls (most of whom I've never met). Hope you're having fun :).
The new year needs to start already, and the stupid clubs need to have times that don't overlap! I'm a bit tired and grouchy - especially as there's a party on every night (freshers week) 10,20m from my room but it costs to get in and I cbf to keep paying it since the music's too loud and there's no way I'll get to know many more people - hell I can't remember the names of most of the people I met. I suck in that respect.
That must be a nice camera o0. I've never had one that costs more than £10, and I've never used one that costs more than say £100. I do find nice things to photo sometimes, but I just don't have the money for something like that :(.
Good luck with the loan and job. Unlike you I don't have anybody to rely on if my financial situation goes tits up XD. My parents are already quite a bit in the minus because they bought an apartment to rent just before the recession started (at the highest price), and my sisters even younger than me.
I'll probably be forced to get a part time job too just to sustain myself, and as it seems to be going at the moment, I'm going to have to apply fast and not mind what kind of work it is. But uni usually has some jobs around that students can do.
Then again since I'm in this situation I feel more independant, kinda like when Tomoya moved into his apartment and got a job. Not saying that my dad is as bad as Tomoya's but I still don't like him much.
Haha XD. Unlucky. Maybe you can ask them to join in on a date some time? :P. Aren't there other classes apart from your own going on at the school? There has to be some other guys floating about unattached.
How heavy is your backpack? My army one is almost 30kg :P. Which reminds me - now I'm supposed to do my own physical fitness/training because of the cutbacks on man training days. I'm seriously gonna have to figure out a way of making myself do these things since usually I'm incredibly lazy :/.
As you may have guessed, I have a lot on my mind right now, and it's nice to be able to say it all to somebody :). Thanks for listening.
All Comments (70) Comments
how are you?
There is. She on the other hand says that she's over' me already... I kind of doubt it, but. Don't really know what to think.
Not interrested atm no. Need to focus on exams, after that got a bit of time to relax and revise.
Yeah I know what you mean. A port of call when there's a storm outside. Maybe it's just America... you seem to have good grammar and reasoning - from what my ex said, the standard of education there isn't that great (ie: she could do maths a year level above her, and she still struggles with stuff people did here before uni).
Other people have said that too... still, can't help feeling unhappy, and almost bad for breaking up with her. I guess I took it too seriously to begin with.
Well I'm off to do some washing, and cooking ;). TTYL.
Just broke up with my GF. Feel hollow.
Been crying previously, but I don't feel the urge to right now.
She had kissed another girl, and I couldn't really move on a week after. On top of that there were little things, but I guess you could say it was the straw that broke the camel's back... well Anvil.
I still love her, but. I don't really want to be screwed around - it felt as if she was constantly trying to push her boundaries with me. I even cooked for her every day, and did anything she wanted on a whim.
She used to throw a tantrum (and stop me) every time I wanted to do something or go somewhere, even broke a "promise" she made - probably a bit unstable. The one time this isn't true is when I got really pissed off and went clay pidgeon shooting on my own this was the second time that I had booked it for her and she just went no I don't really want to.
Good side I guess... she kept me happy and smiling when I had other difficulties sometimes, but that seemed to be almost outweighed by the times I came into her room expecting cokmfort and all I got was moody max. The only time I could really rely on her to be supportive is when she was on her period - weird.
That last paragraph hit a chord somewhere deep down.
Guerss is back to lonely self loathing me for now - just in time for exams. I'm sure she'll get over me quickly enough though. Last time she went to America she practically forgot about me, acted almost like I was a stranger when she came back.
Don't think I want another GF for a while. No point. Don't have time with all my other things. Especially atm. Need to focus on exams. At least I don't have to worry about the money side of things for now - not only do I not have to pay for stuff, but my bar job money AND my student loan is coming through at the same time - over £2000 total. Really fucking ironic. Just when I dont really need it anymore. Guess there's always digging myself out of the £1000 overdraft on my student account.
All I want is someone to live for that I can rely on. Is that too much of me to ask? I dunno. Guess it is since we're all just human. Still the idea of it is nice.
Should probably have an early night in. More lectures and stuff tomorrow. Kit to wash and iron, stuff to sort out, revision to be done. The empty bed is so uninviting... Maybe I'll just sleep on the floor. I have a roll mat and sleeping bag. Nah I've had enough of that the last 3 days. Don't particularly want to think about this weekend , just want to sleep...
By the way did you know that a prison meal costs more than a squaddie's meal. That's a grateful country that is. Then again I'm nothing more than a tool to be used anyway. No real purpose in life - an odd tool, but still a tool. I don't deserve happiness or peace. - 'least that's the only way I an justify it to myself.
Sorry about the moap fest. You're the first person I could think of to talk to. Cheers anyway for reading.
:O probably becasue it's America it's cheaper too. In the UK we're ripped off for any foreign manga/games by the American ideology "$=£?"
Yeah I guess there' more work than before :S
Aww I'm sorry. I dunno what to say. Do you talk often?
They're cheaper therefore I have to tolerate them for now >.>... still they're easier than forgetting to take out contacts every now and then (I've once worn a pair for almost 48 hrs when you're supposed to take them off after 12 XD).
Yeah we have a month long easter one coming up and a long summer one - end of june to start of October I think.
I've got a bar job now that I do once a week - might change it to more next term depending on the workload. Skint at the moment because I still haven't been paid by them :S.
All anime watching is more or less on halt... apart from a casual pokemon episode every now and then - season one :P no real reason apart from melancholy I guess.
Atm glasses loat a screw after I chucked them onto the desk, so they need fixing and I don't have any contact lenses left XD not going to lectures until I can get 1 or the other.
Playing through mass effect 2 - spent the last 2 days doing that actually. My last weekend for a while with my GF and we fail to do anything interresting because the shopping plans fall through, then I get angry at her for kissing another girl and we don't do anything for an entire day.
Oh btw: we've already broken up and got back together - aparently she saw it in a movie or something really stupid like that... she was pushing me away for a while since she came back from christmas skiing and family (California), then asked if I wanted an open relationship (no), and finally she went let's just be friends... the next day she already wanted me back. I don't really get it. She did get me this nice watch and a maid outfit for herself... my mum told me to give back the money for the watch :/.
I've started doing more exercise - every 2 or so days now... I'm trying to improve my recovery rate with the bleep test. Soon as the yearly physicals are over for TA, I'm starting some tabbing (weighted fast-walk) haven't done that in a while.
My course is getting on pretty well - some fun bits some outright boring :P but I guess that's life. In labs we're doing some more difficult stuff, and we're entering the final stretch before tests. 2 or 3 more weeks :P. I'm screwed XD. How's yours?
You been getting up to much?
PS: Next 3 weekends I have TA things, then it's a holiday where she's going back again.
Our breaks here aren't great and we have to do work during them :(. Yeah pretty much all of my student loan's going to that and I don't really have a job, even though I applied twice at a bar that always needs people - I'm trying to get answers :S
Well I don't know too many of my grades, but of those I do I'm getting either 100% or between 50-60%... I don't like writing stuff... talking even less o0 - I did maths, further maths, physics and chemistry for A levels.
Going home's gonna be so nice :D It's gonna be so much different from playing games at uni! The food will be free and I won't even have to make dinner - and that's sometimes more than I eat in a day here anyway.
Actually yesterday I didn't eat at all because I was tired from the days before, then I saw Maxi off at the airport, then played some games, then went to sleep at 4pm then woke up today at 7am. I feel more rested than I have in the last couple of months or so. Anyway I only realized that I didn't eat around 10am, and I didn't even have breakfast till 2 XD.
I have a gf now ^-^. She's American too. Gfs are a lot more work than I expected... I'm so not keeping up with all the things that I wanted to either. I also need a job - no monies :( and my student loan isn't as big as it should be... bah.
My course is a lot of work. I have to attend all the lectures and labs. Today since I was way behind, I went to labs at 9am and came back at 7 pm. >.>
http://www.doctoroctoroc.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/otakon_companioncube.jpg
Guess that's the same with me atm... but I can read on train home when I go or in the tiny gap before/between lectures.
Bah expenciveness :P. Next year I should have more money because I won't be living in overpriced halls!
There's loads more conventions that go on in America, this is like the only 1 I can get to... and it'll be the first time for me going, last year I completely gave up on it because I couldn't make the cosplay in time (first time trying that too... wasn't a good idea)
But I am worried D: most people got better than me in maths :(.
Heh that thing... I might watch it. That pic on here advertises it better. Yeah I'm almost done with vol.1 School Rumble (raw), and I need to find more :/ well anyway there's a huge (or so they say) manga library at uni which I might delve into given half a chance - but it's English only :(.
We did a start of term test, and I got 48% in the maths test :'(. I hope I don't have to take extra classes, I didn't do any work for the test (I didn't know it was on) and I took too long on questions that I didn't have to.
Oh well, at least now I can remember that sin(a+b)=sin(a)cos(b)+sin(b)cos(a) and cos(a+b)=cos(a)cos(b)-sin(a)sin(b)
Feeling kinda crappy atm, not the whole body-aching-due-to-too-much-physical-work but just so many problems since the start of the year. Guess you can't really run away from reality though can you :P.
Yeah I sent off a form today by special delivery (next day tracked). Hopefully they won't get it wrong this time.
Nice one :D. I'm still trying to settle in to the accommodations and clubs. It's harder than it sounds :S.
I have some sort of schedule and I know what I'm going to be doing and when :D. The stupid student loan hasn't come through yet, but I can make do with my overdraft atm, and my halls-paying-deadline is being extended ^-^.
Now I'm off to dress up like my DP and go eat dinner with people from my halls (most of whom I've never met). Hope you're having fun :).
Unsure whether it's worth all the effort :/
The new year needs to start already, and the stupid clubs need to have times that don't overlap! I'm a bit tired and grouchy - especially as there's a party on every night (freshers week) 10,20m from my room but it costs to get in and I cbf to keep paying it since the music's too loud and there's no way I'll get to know many more people - hell I can't remember the names of most of the people I met. I suck in that respect.
Hope you're having a better time than me.
I'll be away till the 3rd so cya :P
Good luck with the loan and job. Unlike you I don't have anybody to rely on if my financial situation goes tits up XD. My parents are already quite a bit in the minus because they bought an apartment to rent just before the recession started (at the highest price), and my sisters even younger than me.
I'll probably be forced to get a part time job too just to sustain myself, and as it seems to be going at the moment, I'm going to have to apply fast and not mind what kind of work it is. But uni usually has some jobs around that students can do.
Then again since I'm in this situation I feel more independant, kinda like when Tomoya moved into his apartment and got a job. Not saying that my dad is as bad as Tomoya's but I still don't like him much.
Haha XD. Unlucky. Maybe you can ask them to join in on a date some time? :P. Aren't there other classes apart from your own going on at the school? There has to be some other guys floating about unattached.
How heavy is your backpack? My army one is almost 30kg :P. Which reminds me - now I'm supposed to do my own physical fitness/training because of the cutbacks on man training days. I'm seriously gonna have to figure out a way of making myself do these things since usually I'm incredibly lazy :/.
As you may have guessed, I have a lot on my mind right now, and it's nice to be able to say it all to somebody :). Thanks for listening.