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You know what? I like loli anime, and I like ecchi comedy, and I like parody. Yet, here I am, feeling personally violated and downright insulted with this mixed abortion of all of the above; a vile, downright filthy Ultraman parody that stoops itself as low as it possibly can and expects us, the viewers, to be entertained. Imagine if the ____ Movie guys made Anime Movie. This is it. This is the bottom of the fucking barrel. This is Ultimate Girls.

This is considered the anime that finally put the infamous company m.o.e. out of work and for good reason. There are plenty of fun anime with no plot of characters, littered with fanservice. This isn't one of them. The fanservice here is just downright demeaning. Here the characters actually get their powers from being stripped and grabbing onto an alien's phallic device, to which the girl transforms by yelling "I'm coming!"

This probably sounded hilarious in its conception phase to a bunch of drunk guys in Japan, but fully fleshed out (no pun intended, I swear), it's just plain offensive. Girls who stumble across this should feel demeaned by how much the three main girls are flaunted around in the buff and praised for it. Guys should feel downright ashamed watching this, as every single guy in the series is a massive pervert who pretty much get off on watching the three girls fight monsters while their clothing disappears only a few moments after they transform.

Everything about this anime is insulting. The girls clothes start to disintegrate approximately five seconds after they transform. The transformation sequences are downright pornographic. The way they defeat their perverted enemies, with weapons like semen guns (shit you not) is by yanking on a certain appendage meant to be a metaphor for a penis. It may sound funny, but it's really just cringe-worthy.

The animation and music is cheap crap, much like the other fine products of the illustrious m.o.e. so lets just skip covering it.

Even Mars of Destruction was fun to ridicule for its ability to load cliches on top of cliches at rapidfire, but this isn't fun at all. All the animatiors and voice actors should issue formal apologies for choosing to work on this, and the creator should be dragged into the streets of Akihabara and publicly stoned. At long last I have finally found a 1, an anime that is entirely unwatchable. Sexist to both ends, demeaning, and downright stupid, I feel violated by this anime enough that I'm going to go take a shower now. To those who still want to watch it despite this warning, may God have mercy on your soul.

Overall, I give Ultimate Girls a deserving 1 out of 10. read more

I started watching I My Me! Strawberry Eggs four years ago. It was one of my first forays into anime tinged with yuri and crossdressing, both elements that have become more popular in the years since. Now revisiting and finishing it, I feel a very strong appreciation for a show that tackles rarely handled topics such as reverse sexism and above all, what really matters when you fall in love with someone.

Admittedly, Strawberry Eggs fails spectacularly as a comedy. The jokes are stale, the timing is terrible, and the visual gags are just lame. Its only existence in comedy seems to be to keep the series light-hearted, because when it dives into drama, it tends to dive deep. No surprise given the premise involves a man who crossdresses to teach at a school that only allows women to teach falling in love with one of his female students. Barriers invoking melodrama include age, gender, and sexual orientation, as well as the negative stereotypes that men typically have to bear. These issues are handled quite delicately while both the teacher and his students, both operating under entirely wholesome premises, attempt to understand each other in an environment that breeds discrimination on unwholesome assumptions. The way these issues are tackled and resolved are Strawberry Eggs's true strength and with great fortune, is what it blossoms toward, especially in its incredibly impressive final stretch.

The characters are also a mixed breed. No one really stands out besides Hibiki and Kuzuha, but everyone is a well-rounded character and no one is entirely a cliche. The characters, despite their lack of discernible personalities, never come across as fake... well, except the apartment patrons. They're a joke and have no real puprose or need for existence within the series.

The art is decent, not necessarily pretty but certainly not ugly. I suppose "tolerable" would be the right word which is coincidentally (or not) appropriate for this series given its message.

The voice work is impressive and passionate, especially Yuki Masuda as the female voice of Hibiki. However, the BGM and OP/ED accompaniments are beyond bland.

In short, though looking rather uninspired and bland, Strawberry Eggs ultimately blossoms into something strong, thoughtful, and sincere. A real treat for series of this nature that proves in many ways that looks are not only deceiving, but also not what really matters.

Overall, I give I My Me! Strawberry Eggs a 7 out of 10. read more

Chances are those of you who finished the first installment of this highly controversial anime came to the realization that there is more here than loli fanservice, and this second installment almost seems to be a reward for those of you who watched it for the surprisingly effective drama. Make no mistake, though, Rin and her friends are all still up to their old perverted tricks, but with tighter writing, a stronger balance of comedy and drama, and a wider character focus, Kodomo no Jikan's Second Term is even better than the first.

Starting as Rin and her class enters fourth grade, the characters themselves also enter a poignant growth stage within the series, both adults and kids. Probably the most laudable of Second Term's achievements is thus delving beyond Rin into the psyches of her friends Kuro and Mimi, and even the strict Shirae-sensei in powerful and heartbreaking glimpses of their deepest fears and realizations. Perhaps the most notable of these is Kuro-chan's ambition to make Shirae-sensei her friend, an ambition that opens old wounds in Shirae-sensei and uncovers deep scars of how Kuro lives her life. Though the Second Term is a short one, the character development plunges to unfathomable depths, broadening the scope of the series theme of kids who want to be treated as grownups by making the kids themselves mirrors to the adults' emotional statuses.

The story has also become much tighter. The jokes are still there, and still as funny as they are disturbing, but they are balanced much better here than they were before. The weight behind the sexual overtones of the series has also become heavier. Now they are shown from specific perspectives that deepen characterization rather than just provide a screenshot where one can yell "Call Chris Hansen!" It’s unnerving, yes, but those who have the stomach to handle such provocative imagery will see past that into what is becoming a darker coming-of-age tale than previously thought to be.

The technical aspects are still nice. The artwork is clean though the character designs are still uncomfortable and probably always will be. Vocal performances are strong as ever though, the second episode especially is full of dynamic performances by Eri Kitamura, Kei Shindou, and Mai Kadowaki who have quite clearly come to understand their prepubescent roles. The BGM is rehashed and still decent, while the OP/EDs have taken a dramatic turn downward in quality unfortunately.

It's not an easy anime to watch but it is a thoughtful and provocative one. The drama is darker, the comedy is more balanced, and the characters have grown tremendously. The Second Term is a triumph over the first series, tightening its looser elements and keeping what made it enjoyable in the first place. With how good I thought this installment of episodes was, it's my hope that this is not the last we have seen of the Kodomo no Jikan anime.

Overall, I give Kodomo no Jikan Second Term a 9 out of 10. read more

Okay, let's be honest right up front. You aren't reading this for the story. You aren't reading this for the deep characterization. You're reading this for the myriad of schoolgirls in a world seemingly devoid of a Y chromosome who fawn over one another like dogs in heat. That said, for the bite-sized morsel of a manga Strawberry Panic! is, few yuri manga come as decadent as this one.

However, decadence leads to overkill, and when you have not one, but two plain transfer students sought after by the goddesses of their respective schools, you know you're straddling the line between overkill and parody. In fact, as a parody, the manga actually works quite well. The dialogue is hamfisted and saccharine, and the plot devices are exaggerated and operatic. It's just too unbelievable to take seriously even from the very start. But as I said, there is a fine line between overkill and parody, and given the intended audience of Strawberry Panic!, I'm obliged to lean towards overkill.

This is only seared into the reader's mind further by the artwork, full of doe-eyed girls and delicate but elaborate designs. As it's intended to be, it's very very pretty but given the content, it's adding sugar on top of more sugar.

The manga does add some much needed spice in the characters themselves. Only innocent leads Nagisa and Hikari are sweet as pie, and pretty much every other girl who isn't them is trying to get into another girl's panties. There are secret rendezvouses, locker room changings, and yes, even open-air bathing. None of these events whenever they should happen in the course of the manga ever stays innocent for long and before you know it, one girl is blushing furiously or drooling at the thought of what she could do with the situation. There is some mild character introspection, but it's only done in the context of how it affects the relationship, not the character herself.

So what it comes down to, plain and simple, is this is a yuri manga for people who only care about the yuri. People who don't want to have to fool around with a plot, turn off their brain, and watch schoolgirls fall hopelessly into one another's arms. Fortunately, it ended prematurely thus sparing any and all readers from having to deal with this yuri overkill for too long. What it all boils down to is that your own personal enjoyment will greatly be decided by whether you're the kind of person who enjoys drowning in a sea of girls constantly blushing at the sight of other girls or not.

Overall, I give Strawberry Panic! a 6 out of 10. read more

Anime that focuses on and celebrates otaku culture is becoming increasingly rampant these days, but at the same time, it's important for anyone on the up-and-up with Japanese society to know that being an otaku is still one of the worst stigmas any one person can carry. Therefore, whoever though of making a series where a classy, rich girl loved by all is actually an otaku in secret was a genius.

This is where Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu really flourishes in its delivery. The story, focusing on Haruka's love of anime, manga, and otaku culture is not merely another "girl likes anime" series, but rather a tale of otaku empowerment. The series demonstrates the societal taboo by immersing "normal" people into Haruka's hobby, thus creating a window that gives the potential to both celebrate and/or villify the various extensions of the culture, which allows for many poignant moments in coming to understand why Haruka likes anime and manga, and why the taboo against anime fans is so unjust.

Outside of the titular "himitsu", the series is a fairly average romance between the two leads. Misunderstandings happen, obstacles occur in predictable ways, but what keeps it moving is its incredibly likeable cast. You might think for a series where a guy and a girl are trying to get together there might be loads of rivals on both sides, but Haruka plays it surprisingly upbeat in that just about everyone in the main cast wants Haruka and Yuuto to be together and help them out with whatever trials come their way. This refreshing viewpoint really makes for a much more enjoyable cast where characters aren't driven by their love interests and can thus be utilized in multiple different ways that focus on who these characters really are.

The animation is gorgeous, coming from a very small but very underrated studio, Studio Barcelona (now Diomedia). The character designs are very cute, and the animation itself is smooth (especially in the ED sequence). Sound is kind of a moot point, because while all the characters sound great and have solid performances, the BGM is meh and the OP/ED songs are completely mediocre.

Overall, Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu was a welcome surprise in the latest flood of pro-otaku anime, taking a very hard look at the societal issues that being an anime fan consists of. It looks beautiful, sounds okay, and really sells itself not as just another otaku moe comedy, but as something with lasting value. Here's hoping the second season is more of the same.

Overall, I give Nogizaka Haruka no Himitsu an 8 out of 10.
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Largely a compilation of various archetypes and cliches meant to produce something to hold over the Shana crowd until the inevitable Season 3, To Aru Majutsu no Index embodies the same animation style, similar story progression, and yet another myriad of needlessly confusing terminology. However, Index does manage to possess some very different characters than it's spiritual predecessor that add some freshness to an otherwise tired production.

If there's one thing you can't fault J.C. Staff on, it's the animation. Sharp, crisp, with a signature pallet and inspired character design, Index can be a treat to look at. Consistent in its appearance throughout, it does a fine job of carrying a sharp appearance, even though it does not strive to be anything beyond that.

Sound is another matter. The opening and ending themes just aren't up to the quality of the animation and, for me at least, seemed to drag down the sequences. Generic BGM throughout didn't help, though vocal performances are of note. Yuka Iguchi and Rina Satou especially as Index and Misaka add great energy and depth to their respective character's lines. The rest of the cast isn't bad either, ranging from enjoyable to decent. What a complete waste of Mamiko Noto though.

These performances were also greatly amplified by a very likeable cast. Index is a real charmer from the get-go and Misaka's firecracker personality really adds something to the dynamic of the Index-Touma-Misaka triangle. I have no complaints about Touma personally, but he is another generic male lead with a built-in deus ex machina. Fortunately, it isn't the be-all end-all solution it appears to be. The supporting cast is enjoyable, but so many of them are sparsely seen, with some disappearing as quickly as they appear, that it's easy to forget or just not care about them.

While the characters are intriguing enough to keep watching, the plot isn't. Functioning on an individual arc setup, it's too disjointed with too little themes carried over from arc to arc to make it worth the effort. While Index lacks its spiritual predecessor's romantic angst, at least said angst helped carry the story over each individual arc. Here, Index has few if any ties throughout, burning bridges as quickly as it can construct them. Add in the previously mentioned myriad of complicated terminology that perpetuates the dialogue of the series, and even the strongest attention spans may be jolted by this one.

So what can be said about it as a whole? It's certainly not a terrible series, but there's too much wasted potential. The character relationships are stagnant and the poignant characters of each arc are gone with the next. It's more a compilation of side stories than a full-bodied plot, heavy on the dialogue but short-handed on plot or character development. But it is likeable, and nice to look at, and with some luck, the franchise will become more focused in the future. For now, it's disposable eye candy. Nothing more, nothing less.

Overall, I give To Aru Majutsu no Index a 6 out of 10. read more

Taking place months after their first adventure in the digital world, the kids are all off doing their own thing, but when a viral Digimon is mysteriously hatched within the Internet, everyone available must band together to take it down before Tokyo is blown off the map. With this much more immediate suspense, and an absolutely gorgeous look, Bokura no War Game really stands out as one of the strongest parts of the Digimon franchise.

The story is rather quickly developed, handled, and solved with very little lulls between movement. Though there are only three battle scenes, Taichi and Koushiro are dealing with the effects of the viral Digimon in the real world which keeps them and the audience on their toes while they look for new strategies one after another as they are thwarted at every turn. Though it is quite formulaic in its execution, it certainly isn't boring, and though there are plenty of inconsequential sidestories, they all add something to the immediate action required throughout the movie as parallels.

Everyone's back, though not everyone is part of the main plot. Some contribute through the above-mentioned sidestories while others fight. The characters, already established, stay true to who they were in the series with very few exceeding development. Relationships are remarkable though, as Taichi and Sora seem to have progressed theirs, slight as it is.

Of course, it'd just be another Digimon episode if it weren't for the phenomenal animation. If the style looks familiar, don't be surprised. Directed by Mamoru Hosada, better known for his latter work, Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo, the movie features fluid, detailed animation and a gorgeous metaphorical style for the Internet as it becomes the battlefield for the Digimon against the latest threat. If there is only one reason to give this movie a look, even if you're not a Digimon fan, it's to check out the animation which for its day and age is close to quality bar none.

Performances are all good, and the BGM is rather dignified, so much so it may be surprising to those of us who grew up watching the dub. It's all quite fitting, especially in the climactic sequence where, spoilers aside, it adds something wonderful to it all.

There's a lot to enjoy about the Digimon franchise; the surprisingly mature execution, the partnership between the kids and their Digimon, and more, but this movie stands out in technical quality above all others. Combined with tight and well-paced execution, it's a movie no Digimon fan should miss, and maybe even one for purveyors of quality animation all-around.

Overall, I give Digimon Adventure: Bokura no War Game a 7 out of 10.

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Much like last year's Tomoyo Chapter, KyoAni has gone back once more to animate the main arc of another popular girl from the visual novel Clannad, this time focusing on Kyou Fujibayashi. The Kyou Chapter is a good piece of storywork, with a solid and steady narrative flow, exceptional artwork, great BGM and performances, and decent, though generic, characterization. For now, I'd like to focus on the facts before getting to my opinion, so as to differentiate, I didn't think this was a bad little story per se, but raging Kyou fans might just be better ignoring the existence of my review when I get to my enjoyment, as there's no chance I'll be sugarcoating matters.

Kyou Chapter, first off, accomplishes an astounding feat by compressing several hours worth of material into a half-hour short story, which can be no easy task whatsoever. Masterful composition of key scenes never feel out of place nor does it feel as if the story is taking any large leaps from event to event, skipping other priorities. Though it could easily have been expanded on, the basic plot is well-contained and the delivery is pitch-perfect. Nothing phenomenal, no massive twists or unexpected incidents given what we know of Kyou and Ryou from the series that could put it over, but a job well done.

Despite the brevity of Kyou Chapter, KyoAni also does some wonderful short pivotal points with each character, expressing different things about them through the animation whether than words, the imagery of which is profoundly captivating. A particular scene involving a farewell kiss was so expertly crafted I could not contain my appreciation for it. It spoke leagues about the girl in the scene even though she said nothing. Though this short story often relies on the viewer to have prior knowledge of the characters, it does a good job of filling viewers in through rather subdued methods.

In the technical realm, KyoAni shines just as brightly as they did with the series itself. Gorgeous fluid animation, exquisite backgrounds, great facial expression from the characters, it's tops across the board for the animation powerhouse.

Sound carries the wonderful OST back with no piece of it used in an inappropriate or unnecessary way, always adding an extra something to the mix. Performances are also dead-on. Though I already expressed about the visual aspect of the characterization, the audio aspect is certainly nothing to knock. Everyone is voiced sincerely as the characters they have been playing, just in new situations, and seeing the twins' seiyuu finally shine is definitely a reason to check this out as well.

So end the accolades...

Despite the well-earned love I've given this review such far, I greatly disliked it. Though well-plotted, I thought it was generic. Though there was great characterization, I freakin' loathe the girl I'm supposed to be rooting for. Though the art and sound are great... okay I agree with that. The fact of the matter is I personally cannot stand the character that misses his or her chance, only to whine about it when someone else takes the chance themselves. Moreso, I hate it when said whiner wins because I'm supposed to feel sorry for her not being able to express her feelings.

Hell, this OVA actually had the opposite reaction on me. It made me dislike Kyou more and make me like Ryou more. How could I not when she displays her courage despite her timid demeanor and does her best to make Tomoya happy WHILE KYOU JUST CRIES. Even though this OVA was meant to pander, I didn't for one moment expect it to insult me to this degree. While others may, and probably will, enjoy this, no dice from me.

Overall, I give Clannad: Another World, Kyou Chapter a 7 out of 10. read more

If K-ON! is the future of slice-of-life moe anime, then the genre is dying. Now, I myself am personally a great fan of the niche genre and have delighted in viewing many anime falling under it, no matter how silly or inane. That's because I don't mind having to turn off my brain to enjoy anime, but I expect to be compensated for doing so, be it by making me laugh, warming my heart, or leaving me with something to remember. K-ON! splendidly failed in all three ways multiple times throughout, and came off as a shoddy effort all around.

Because a slice-of-life moe series is often devoid of any ongoing plot of significant importance, it must rely on the day-to-day circumstances of the characters, presenting them in new and inventive, yet somewhat familiar ways in order to keep attention. Surprisingly enough, K-ON! follows a linear, though loosely connected story, but does nothing of interest with the day-to-day circumstances. It's as if the staff decided that it was okay for the girls to be lazy and uneventful because it's slice-of-life, to which I must say "NO NO NO"... had to get that out of the way. I'll be serious now.

Likewise, the characters need to be interesting enough to actively engage in following their exploits. Harsh as it may be to say, it was a waste of time to follow around a main character like Yui. I could rant for hours on end about Yui, but to sum her up, she's a mentally challenged nutcase. Now, I can excuse character stupidity as long as the main character has qualities that redeem said stupidity, be it fierce independence, reliability, or if it's made clear she's meant to be the butt of everyone's joke. Yui has none of these qualities. She is an idiot, and no one ever discourages her from being an idiot. Minor spoiler alert, but it must be said... I am absolutely furious at the gall the staff had to have Yui comment in Ep. 12 about how much she has changed. In the entire series, she does not grow even a little. What a crock.

Enough about Yui though, there are other characters to focus on; all of who range from average to above-average. They're all likeable too, but far too simplistic. With no real inventiveness to the situations they end up in as previously stated, I had expected their personalities to be clever enough to make up for that lack. In this, the staff succeeds to a degree, but nothing comes from it. Everyone is essentially the same at the beginning as they are at the end and there is very little proof that any of them have grown as friends, regardless of what the series wants us to believe.

In the matter of technical aspects, K-ON!'s fluidity is remarkable but the style is such that it comes off incredibly choppy, and at some points downright ugly. It felt as though Kyoto Animation spent a ton on making it fluid and in doing so, took from the budget that allowed for the actual artwork itself, excusing the instruments which often look better than the girls themselves. While this tradeoff doesn't work entirely, it could be far worse. In addition, because this tradeoff comes from animation maestro Kyoto Animation, it is doubly worse.

Though this is a show about a music club, the BGM is boring. Thankfully, a killer OP/ED combo and some fantastic inserts make up for that. On the acting front,the amateur seiyuu all sound like younger versions of already successful seiyuu, like how Mio's seiyuu Yoko Hirasa sounds not-too-surprisingly like a younger Aya Hirano. This isn't to criticize their talents, though. The fact that these newcomers are so lively and fits their character perfectly from the start is a compliment, one of the few I have given the series.

From all of the above, K-ON! to me came off as a cheap way for Kyoto Animation and Pony Canyon to make money. There is little effort, the characters are rather flat and unchanging, and everything in the news about it from merchandise tie-ins to Oricon charts leads me to believe it's one giant marketing ploy rather than an honest effort of a series. For this, I cannot say I enjoyed all of it, though it was good sporadically. However, as I said in the beginning, if these shoddy attempts at slice-of-life moe are what we as anime viewers choose to support and demand more of, we are killing the genre as we speak.

Overall, I give K-ON! a 6 out of 10. read more

Xam'd: Lost Memories starts with gorgeous visuals and a great score, a staple of any good Bones anime, but Eureka Seven this is not. Rather Xam'd feels so confident in itself that it forgets how to tell its story, and what the viewer is left with is a hodgepodge of plot devices, sudden character and relationship development, and twists that run on no backing whatsoever except that we didn't see it coming. There's only two judgments that can be made from Xam'd: Either it was planned as a 50 episode series or they made it up as they went along.

These aren't judgments I make lightly either. Characterization is a huge point to be made here. So focused this anime started with its characters with enigmatic pasts and unspecified mysterious connections, but some of these pasts aren't even explained, and most are barely even touched upon. Xam'd filled its cast list too full with too many promises of pasts and relationships that it couldn't cash all the checks it wrote early on. Relationship that aren't thrown to the gutter, such as Akiyuki and Haru's, flourished quite well, and Nakiami's past, while not incredible, was well-done and justified. The problem then is not that the series doesn't develop characters and relationships well, but that it didn't make enough time to explain everyone's character and the nature of their relationships.

The story however is inexcusable. For such a simple "lone hero must unite the world" plot, this series flooded itself with unexplained terminology (I'm still not entirely sure what the hell a Xam'd even is) and splinters off into so many subplots that the core of it becomes lost in the shuffle. Likewise, some of the subplots don't even connect in the end and the ones that do don't do so in any fulfilling way. I loved the character of Yango, but seriously, what was his purpose? He wasn't necessary for Nakiami to make her evolution, yet the story felt the need to carry his character to the end regardless. Never finding its own personal voice, this series tries to compensate by settling the series on an epic scale, but because there is no cohesive element to allow it to do such, it just looks sprawled out, messy and disconnected. In short, Xam'd loses itself in its own expectations for itself.

Technical aspects are standard Bones and of course that means its near bar-none. Richly painted and vast landscapes blend wonderfully with the conventional but uniquely appealing character designs. Likewise, the animation flows fantastically without flaw.

The music is also very suitable with some fitting BGM ranging from average to above-average but never below. The OP may not fit for some, but there's a great ED in the mix. Voices are decent but no one really stands out. Rather, the cast list looks like a vocal experiment with an actual little boy playing Yango and Yuko Sanpei playing a girl for once. There are places where it works and places where it doesn't, but the overall result is appealing.

I would ultimately call Xam'd a glorious failure. I liked it and there's no denying it didn't try to be great, but with multiple pacing problems, characters left unexplored and useless subplots, Xam'd spreads itself so thin that it falls apart. It looks great, it sounds great, but it's not great. Maybe next time, Bones.

Overall, I give Xam'd: Lost Memories a 7 out of 10.

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