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If you like breasts and aren't particularly demanding about anything else in this world, you'll probably love Kanokon. It's got a predictable, ultimately inconsequential harem-lite (as in a harem of two) premise and characters all lifted from a handbook of anime clichés. Put simply, Kanokon is the sort of show that exists solely to inspire its own rule #34. Now, I suppose that after becoming acquainted with the priorities and shortcomings of such a show, the most respectable course of action would have been to either stop watching it or to finish it with a lousy score. (It's only twelve episodes, after all; might as well, you know?) However, there was some aspect of Kanokon that I couldn't quite put my finger on as it drew me in; I finished it in only two days, which is fairly admirable progress for me, and the time seemed to fly by. Toward the end I came to realize what it was: the show's thinly-to-unveiled reliance on titilation happens to be its greatest strength, because it does it better than just about every ever other ecchi or even HENTAI title I've ever seen. This has brought me to some mixed feelings and a higher-than-credible score.

As television, Kanokon is bad and forgettable. As porn it would have been an instant classic.

If you can imagine Yurika Misimaru from Nadesico as a shotacon with a tail whose apparent calling in life is to bully the world's most sexually-repressed late-bloomer (seriously, this kid wins a Yellow Shinji Award for insufferable wussery) into banging her, then throw in one of those alarmingly underused [/sarcasm] Rei clones--loli variety, of course, and also with a tail--you'll have the premise of Kanokon in palm of your lotion-greased hand. There are other characters, too--a few of whom, while unoriginal, are mildly amusing when they actually get screen time--but mostly it's about Human Piglet (a.k.a. Kouta Oyamada) and his pair of aggressively horny pursuers. There is an afterthought of plot sprinkled through Kanokon involving different animal families and what is evidently some kind of mafia-like animosity as represented by a little girl with a powerful bodyguard... or something like that. It was never fleshed out, explained, or even sustained long enough for me to even describe it. The only thing I feel I was meant to remember was... boobies.

Yes, Kanokon is thoroughly obsessed with sex, and normally I would roll my eyes at it walk away. I've never been an animated hentai fan for the same reason I've never been a horror fan--stuff just doesn't do anything for or to me (for reasons I won't go into here but are probably commonly cited). To me, ecchi is even worse for its clumsy and pointless pussyfooting around the subject; I don't need or want "fan service" that is all conspicuous, insulting, demeaning, and--worst of all--no service. Unlike most ecchi anime, though, Kanokon steps way beyond blue gags, panty shots, impossible-to-idiotic character designs and innocuous suggestiveness and dives right into the deep end of the pool with a force so great it barely stops short of cracking its skull and becoming full-fledged hardcore porn. This is a series that so shamelessly beats you upside the head with its characters' throbbing sexual urges that it seems to knock you through the cieling of mediocrity and leave you staring at a beautiful blue sky before falling back down. I said "Oh F***" out loud during this series more times than I care to count, and I'm not even clear about what prompted me to--a strange mix of shock, amusement, and genuine excitement, perhaps? Whatever the case, I feel I can refine my earlier statement by saying that if Kanokon is good in any respect, it's a good example of what hentai should be. The naughtiest parts of this show are executed with an uncommon degree of panache and atmosphere that they actually seemed refreshing, which is a bold statement considering nothing else about this show* can be described that way. The reason I've given it a score of "6" as opposed to the "4" or "5" that it--in spite of its ecchiness--deserved is because I would be a liar if I didn't admit I enjoyed it, in all of its baldly sexploitative and narrative charlatanical glory.

*On the subject of "nothing else about this show," one thought I had in retrospect just after topping it off was the fact that, as a good chunk of the student body featured in this show happen to be mythologically significant animals in human form, it's disappointing that more wasn't done with them. Imagine an X-Men movie whose plot was all about Storm and Rogue trying to molest that kid who can change the channels with his eyes (okay, kind of a gross idea). But imagine that that was your first glimpse of X-Men and you began thinking, "Hey, all those people in the background have mutant powers, huh? What's the deal with that? Hey, they can fight!" I'm wondering if the upcoming "Kanokon R" will have more to do with this aspect of the show, and less to do with, you know, tits. read more

I'm not sure where to start with Lamune partly because it took me a little while to actually finish the series. The most I can recall of the first couple of episodes is that I thought they were absolutely horrible and I was tempted to stop viewing, which I did for about a month. At some point for some reason, though, I resolved to just sit back and crawl through the whole thing. I did that, and now here are my thoughts...

I'll go ahead and start with Nanami--the entire reason I thought about writing a review in the first place. Nanami is a puzzle to me, but that's probably because I'm overthinking her by seven miles. At first I was a bit uncomfortable with the show because I couldn't figure out if Nanami was simply the result of an attempt to depict the cutest female idiot imaginable (assuming she was a normal stab at achieving "moe") or if she was genuinely retarded. There are periodic flashbacks that depict Nanami and Kenji as little kids--in which Nanami is admittedly cute in a "happy fuzzy duckling" sense--but flash forward to the present and absolutely nothing has changed about her except her height and bra size. The characters, Kenji included, all seem to treat Nanami like the community's Little Sister, and I kept waiting for the narrative reveal that, yes, Nanami belonged on the short bus and that Kenji hung out with her in order to look after her in a noble adoptive "onii-chan" kind of way. But the reveal never came and instead I was forced to accept this sometimes creepy Baby-Woman Thing as the primary female love interest.

Now, I know this sort of cute bumbling female is fairly typical of anime--hell, I've seen it enough times--but with Nanami it feels like the intention was to take the type to an extreme. The ridiculous, forced, and ultimately non-existent chemistry between Nanami and Kenji is precisely what drove me to nearly abandon the series at the very beginning--it was dumb. It was like watching two infants in kitty-cat costumes pose with those kittens that have the ugly eyes but everyone thinks they're so damned adorable; first you might go "aww", but then after two seconds you begin to wonder Why are they showing this crap on TV?, until eventually you feel so outright insulted that you run into the next room to punch your own cat in the face. It was so bad, in fact, that the writers themselves were obviously unable to provide the two leads with sufficient dialogue, so the first couple of episodes are characterized by an excess of long pauses, and conversations are carried out with distant, awkward timing.

The strangest thing, however, is probably the fact that I eventually got used to Nanami, and the whole "Is she/Isn't she" conundrum completely flew out of my head. I don't know if 12 episodes is enough to warm me up to anything, but it seems that's about how long it takes to effectively suspend my disbelief in anything. If I had to compare her to any other fictional character (at least in terms of mental facilities) it would probably be Forrest Gump, except that Nanami coos and whines a lot more, and she never has any amazing adventures other than getting appendicitis.

The rest of the cast is pretty generic and forgettable. Kenji is an okay male lead--he fixes his bike and teases Nanami, and that's about it. If you stick around until the end of the series you will root for him, but only by default--he's there and he's a decent guy. The harem-esque gaggle of females you see to the left is decidedly less memorable. Each gets their moment in the spotlight, but in all honesty I can't even remember their names after just having watched the damn thing, or how they get to shine for that matter. I guess they really don't.

Looking back, I think I've already dropped one spoiler, so I'll avoid going into too much detail regarding the story (or lengthy lack thereof). Instead I'll give you a numerical timeline: at the beginning, I had Lamune at a "2" for "Horrible". Over the length of twelve episodes, it gradually ramped up until the end, when I felt generous and though about raising it to a "6" for "Fine". (Did the show improve, or did I just get accustomed to its crap factor? I honestly don't know, and I'm a little scared.) That averages out to the "4" I've given. Watchable, but below average, I'm afraid. I think the retarded angle could have made for a much more compelling show; Nanami was wasted.

Probably the area where Lamune is strongest is in the music department. After I heard the ending theme "Summer Vacation"-- a banal but catchy tune about buying a swimsuit and, erm, loving summer -- I was all like, "OMG TORRENT PLOX!!1" It's just a fun little ditty that caught me off guard; I found myself wanting it, and I let the credits roll each time. The opening theme is passable with some nice chords and a decent melody; the song, coupled with the opening animation, is weirdly relaxing. The show itself is punctuated by some admittedly nice orchestral passages, and I occasionally found myself thinking, "Damn, this music could have used a better show."

I hadn't done any research on Lamune prior to watching it, and I probably won't. But if you told me that it was financed by the company that makes the Lamune soft drink (i.e. how 7up made the Cool Spot games and Pizza Hut made Code... nevermind), I'd believe you. This is just the kind of unremarkable animated junk food I'd expect from a corporate promotional team. But just like most junk food, I ate it, though it tasted awful, and then ate some more until it eventually tasted okay. I did find Lamune useful in one regard: it made me sleepy. One episode of Lamune before bed, and I slept like a log. Lamune gets a utility score of "10" just for that. It's terrific. read more