I see what you mean. I personally try to use anime as a way to escape from my real-world misanthropy, to the extent that I tend to rationalize the characters' actions more, even if, had someone in the real world done them, I would do my best to keep away from them.
I think we differ in our reaction to the blurring of the line between the 2D and 3D world. :)
Well, people hate School Days because the characters are utterly detestable and hard to differentiate with any other cookie cutter "types" they were based on-- other than the fact that they have no redeeming qualities. Also, it relied on shock appeal to get anywhere. Additionally, it has no sense of solid continuity as one guy basically goes from having a harmless crush on a girl to sleeping with nearly every single girl in his year-- not to mention, he gets
which is just absurd unless this was a horror, which it is not.
It's not that I don't like gore and nudity, (nudity a bit more than gore) it's just that the first episode took it a little far. Also, it added almost nothing to the (IMO) already lacking storyline.
You are also right in saying that I enjoy some psychological and emotional themes. However, the plot of Elfen Lied was so transparent to me after one episode that I felt like nothing the show could do would surprise me. Maybe it's because Elfen Lied influenced too many of the cliches I've seen in other anime, but I just couldn't make myself like it, or find anything that would make me want to watch the rest.
Finally, as far as aesthetics go, I though Elfen Lied was maybe, barely, slightly above average. And I don't want to watch something that's just slightly above average. Also it's not like I hate everyone who likes Elfen Lied, I just find that we will have differing opinions on it, same as anything else.