With or without so many friends?
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#1
06-05-12, 1:31 PM
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Offline Joined: Jul 2011 Posts: 19 |
I was wondering.. have any of you guys experienced that time when you felt kinda friendless? I mean I have friends but one of my best friends is in UK studying and the other one is in my town. Lately, however, she seems weird..She doesn't want to go out and if I try to call her or stuff she seems dreamy, in another world. She doesn't like to go out at all, she prefers staying home and doing nothing..My other friends aren't so close and it would be weird or so I think to ask them to meet out of nowhere. I am not the pestering typo when it comes to my boyfriend so I don't bother him when I feel kinda lonely... What would you guys do in this lack of friends period? Enjoy your time or try to make new friends ? |
#2
06-05-12, 2:22 PM
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Offline Joined: Apr 2012 Posts: 334 |
evelyness said: I am not the pestering typo when it comes to my boyfriend so I don't bother him when I feel kinda lonely... so i don't bother him when I feel kinda lonely... i think you should go bother him a bit. just saiyan. i get what you mean. but these 'lack of friends period' are nice and don't come along often so i enjoy my time alone. but if you really want to meet some people, go to a small gig or something, people always chat it up there. and there are always people who go to shows alone so.. |
#3
06-05-12, 2:41 PM
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Offline Joined: May 2008 Posts: 2167 |
I'm kinda like your other friend at the moment so... yes, all the time :( It's okay though. I don't know... lots of friends can be emotionally draining (because I am the type that is affected a lot by other people's emotions). I do bug my bf when I'm lonely though. You should do that. Modified by hikky, 06-05-12, 2:45 PM |
#4
06-05-12, 3:19 PM
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Forum Moderator
Offline Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 8349 |
Usually with enough entertainment and hedonistic pleasure, social belonging is not much of a problem. Not having someone to hang out with only gets troublesome when you realize you've start to run out of easy hedonistic stuff to do that actually feels pleasuable. At least, that's how I usually roll. Thankfully with my MCAT course I get to see a friend everyday on weekdays and on volunteer shifts. So you could either just find some enjoyable stuff to do at this time or bother your past friends (hopefully you have a cell to shamelessly text them with random messages). Making new friends is usually a natural process, not one where you force yourself to do so. So it's probably not a good option. |
#5
06-05-12, 3:38 PM
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Offline Joined: Mar 2012 Posts: 2891 |
It's kind of impossible for me to feel lonely since my "best friend" is also my sister and we live in the same house, my other closest friend (who'd I'd consider "best") also lives just a few minutes away. Sometimes I wish I could get some "alone time" :| As for your problem, it's kind of difficult, you could try arranging with your friends to see each other on a specific day, since me and my friends are getting older now and a lot of them have work/boyfriends/college etc we generally try to arrange to going out at least once a week (usually Friday or Saturday, this is kind of important since we're getting older, we start dating people, you need to arrange a night where its sort of like "girls night" where they arent doing anything with there boyfriends) you could try something like this as well. Or if going out isn't really your think than something different, the important thing is to be there together after all. Outside of that, you're looking at either depending on your boyfriend more or trying to make some new friends who are more outgoing (although this could cause problems later on if your old friends want to do stuff again or you might end up drifting further and further apart till you don't really speak at all anymore). "If you love someone Follow your heart Cause love comes once If you’re lucky enough" |
#6
06-05-12, 4:01 PM
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Offline Joined: Dec 2008 Posts: 1058 |
I'm the kind of person who has lots of good friends but *needs* to spend a lot of time alone doing my own thing. Seeing friends a lot is mentally exhausting for me, yet if I spend too much time alone even I feel lonely and friendless sometimes. I get that you don't want to morph into a needy dependent girlfriend, but spending more time with your boyfriend would make you feel less lonely. Maybe organise a cinema trip or outing for any friends still in your area? Whenever I get lonely I just invite friends over we go out somewhere for dinner. Also depends on how brave you are about making new friends. Join a club, hang out with someone you get along with but never really had the chance to get to know very well. |
#7
06-05-12, 9:49 PM
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Offline Joined: Apr 2011 Posts: 246 |
For me, when there is a lack of friends in the surrounding new environment, I would probably wait for someone to talk to me. However, if someone catches my interest, I will talk to them. Not everyone can be my real friend, and with time, I will be able to see if they are right for me. |
#8
06-05-12, 10:31 PM
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Offline Joined: Jul 2011 Posts: 19 |
Thank you so much for answering. I am starting to feel better somehow, I think I am just in a panic state but yes this lonely periods are ok, cause they don't last too long. And I will pester him a bit more. xD As for my friends I will take into consideration that one day when we should all meet and also maybe join some clubs, annoy people on online games and so forth. Hikky she is emotionally draining too but she's been like that since I've known her and I didn't run away. Tachii I agree, befriending others is truly natural ^^" and yea when I get to uni - 3 months left- I suppose I will at some point wish to have some lonely time. Thank you again for your pieces of advice, it surely made my day . ^^ |
#9
06-05-12, 11:04 PM
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Offline Joined: Feb 2008 Posts: 2866 |
I don't think there's anything to worry about as long as she's not showing signs of depression or anything. Some people are just naturally introverted and have more fun spending time at home, and going out to the movies or partying or whatever is very exhausting and draining. I for one enjoy watching anime or playing games quietly by myself over big social activities, though I really only have one IRL friend to begin with so it's not like many opportunities present themselves anyways. ![]() |
#10
06-06-12, 3:23 AM
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Offline Joined: Mar 2009 Posts: 67069 |
I'd enjoy my time. There are many fun solitary activities anyway. |
#11
06-06-12, 3:40 AM
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Offline Joined: May 2010 Posts: 1452 |
^Like posting one liners on a forum 24/7? You should talk to your female friend a bit more, chances are something's up with her. Everyone has those times; it's best when a good friend kicks your butt so you get active again. She's gonna appreciate that you got her free of that phase later on. Alternatively, just go out a bit and make new friends?:p As far as your boyfriend goes, no need to hold back, really. You're a couple for a reason, so you should show him that you want to be with him. Don't drift apart from anyone like that. Asking once in a while to do something should be fine. If he feels bothered by it I'm sure he'd tell you eventually. |
#12
06-06-12, 3:52 AM
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Offline Joined: Apr 2010 Posts: 1107 |
Relationships exist for this reason. Should be telling your boyfriend this not us. It sounds like your friend is probably burnt out on social outings. People tend to love and hate each other when they spend too much time together. Give her a break and try to get together in a bit. Its important to have breaks, but to keep them as breaks. So many friends drift apart due to lack of follow through, its sad honestly. |
#13
06-06-12, 4:21 AM
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Offline Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 1603 |
And this is why relationships fail. |
#14
06-06-12, 7:05 AM
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Offline Joined: May 2012 Posts: 61 |
friendship is overrated, i have quite a fair amount of friends but never take them too seriously, i just enjoy them for the company and if it dosen't work out *shrugs* plenty more in the sea, what i'm trying to say i guess is don't get so worked up about it, everything will fall into place, if something goes wrong it goes wrong, just know that you did your best and be happy you at least had a best friend and memories you can hold on to you know?? wubwubwubwub |
#15
06-06-12, 7:52 AM
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Offline Joined: Jul 2011 Posts: 19 |
Clous said: This did not concern my relationship but my friendless time, I just wanted an opinion which is why I asked that question.Relationships exist for this reason. Should be telling your boyfriend this not us. JonyJC said: And this is why relationships fail. Well if you are the type that likes 24/24 time with one person, good for you. I on the other hand like to give some breaks too even though I don't want that much a break and besides pestering is not one of my things. Clous said: I've been giving her a break for 6 months so I don't think that's the case. I'd be more inclined to believe she is in that introverted phase like Veronin said. It sounds like your friend is probably burnt out on social outings. People tend to love and hate each other when they spend too much time together. Give her a break and try to get together in a bit. Its important to have breaks, but to keep them as breaks. So many friends drift apart due to lack of follow through, its sad honestly. Vocaloawesome said: be happy you at least had a best friend and memories you can hold on to you know?? Sorry to hear that :\ |
#16
06-06-12, 11:08 AM
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Offline Joined: Jul 2011 Posts: 1665 |
"Many" friends? What friends? Lol that slaps me in the knee |
#17
06-06-12, 12:18 PM
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Offline Joined: Apr 2012 Posts: 87 |
Vocaloawesome said: friendship is overrated, i have quite a fair amount of friends but never take them too seriously, i just enjoy them for the company and if it dosen't work out *shrugs* plenty more in the sea, what i'm trying to say i guess is don't get so worked up about it, everything will fall into place, if something goes wrong it goes wrong, just know that you did your best and be happy you at least had a best friend and memories you can hold on to you know?? you don't take other people seriously? that's probably the most essential thing for any relationship. casual acquaintances are fine, but don't expect anything amazing if you can't even do the most basic thing for those around you. Response to the poster's problem w/ current friend: In High school a serious conflict came up and i essentially stopped seeing the people i've been with. They kept asking about me but i kept it low and told them i was fine. I was changing my perspectives and getting things together, and in the process i wanted to cut my ties, although it was sudden. usually HS ends this way anyways, ppl move on. Friends that you used to have and just disappear, because it's too much effort to keep up contact and everyone is moving on with their lives. i don't think our situation is similar, but if she's letting you go and you don't want to work on the relationship anymore, then the relationship just stops. |
#18
06-06-12, 1:13 PM
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Offline Joined: Jul 2011 Posts: 19 |
Paraph I had a similar situation last year and maybe you are right. I will let her alone if she wants to be alone if the introverted state turns out not to be so introverted. |
#19
06-06-12, 1:32 PM
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Offline Joined: Mar 2012 Posts: 2891 |
evelyness said: Paraph I had a similar situation last year and maybe you are right. I will let her alone if she wants to be alone if the introverted state turns out not to be so introverted. Could be that she's just dealing with some issues that she needs to get through, I agree with Paraph to some extent I finished high school last year and I've basically long contact with quite a few friends from there so that could be partly whats happening, depends really how close you were. If you were very good friends I really doubt she just doesn't want to see you again. "If you love someone Follow your heart Cause love comes once If you’re lucky enough" |
#20
06-06-12, 6:01 PM
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Offline Joined: Oct 2009 Posts: 2048 |
Had lots of friends in high school. Get out of high school. Now interpreted as a misanthropist. /thread Modified by lucjan, 06-06-12, 6:05 PM ![]() |





