I'm currently working on a story influenced by a plethora of manga and anime. I'm looking for advice from others so I can improve my story. Please let me know your opinions so I can change things.
Title - None yet I haven't been able to come up with one.
Genre - Action,Drama,Chanbara (sword fighting).
Theme - Honor, Romance, Revenge
Setting - In a country (No name yet) that is ravaged by an internal war. Brother against brother.
Time period - It would be similar to the Bakumastu war of Rurouni Kenshin.
Rating - Mature for blood and gore, violence, and drug reference.
Chapters 1 - 5
Chapter 1 - Intro
The time is set in the Feudal Era that of Japan, a time when men, ready to unsheathe their swords, risk their honor and their lives to fight for what they believe in. The story itself takes place in the kingdom of (_________), a kingdom split into multiple areas, each with its own ruler. Though each ruler may run their areas differently, there is one thing that each has in common, the belief that only one should rule the kingdom.
While some feel that they were hand chosen by God to rule the people, others feel that their strength and power alone gives them the right to lead the kingdom. Despite the recurring aggression each ruler shows to the others, none could foresee the imminent threat that will not only affect each ruler, but the entire kingdom as well.
The scene begins inside a castle; the clatter of swords and screams of people being slain can be heard. The camera is on one of the guards, Takumi Fujiwara, fighting off the enemies that have swarmed the castle. Fujiwara, along with the guards he leads, are held in a large room, preventing the enemies from moving forward.
As he slices down his enemies one by one, he watches as several of his guards are killed. He quickly realizes that they are outnumbered and Fujiwara commands his men to retreat. Fujiwara and his men fall back into another room and barricade the doors
“No matter what the cost, they must not pass!” yells Fujiwara. Suddenly, nothing can be heard from the other side of the doors. Looking around, Fujiwara can tell that the guards believe the enemy gave up, however, things feel aerie. Within an instant the doors blasts open, knocking down all the men in the room. Staggering, Fujiwara begins to stand, noticing that smoke has filled the room. But more importantly,
Fujiwara notices that only one man has entered the room since the doors were opened. Only the enemy’s silhouette can be seen inside the smoke. The camera pans out with only the castle, surrounded by hundreds of corpses, in sight. As the scene ends, only an echo of screams is heard.
The panel begins a historic introduction of the history of the country. It shows the entire country as one. Under the rule of (-------) Dynasty the entire country was united. But power drives men to do the worst and the ruler of the (------) Dynasty was overthrown by one of his two sons. His other son fled the country in fear for his life as his father was publically executed.
The new ruler was unforgiving and merciless. Anyone who spoke out against him was killed. Under his rule were his 5 warlords who controlled the armies of each section of the country. They all agreed that a coup de’ taut was necessary and removed the ruler from power. After this the citizens were all overjoyed but they faced a new problem. Who would lead the country now?
Some of the warlords argued they should be rewarded with absolute power while others argued that the remaining son should return and take his rightful place. They called for the remaining son to return but on his journey back he was ambushed and murdered leaving no heir to the Dynasty.
This led the 5 warlords to quarrel with each other and eventually split the country into 5 separate warring kingdoms. Thus began the start of the Grand War. It has been over 50 years since the start of the Grand War. Now all the original warlords are gone but their children continue the fight they started so long ago.
what about if the title is little related from the vengeance........what about brother x brother..i don't know if some manga or anime taken..but..i'm just like you!i've been making stories since i'm little now...i've made 7 stories and it was terrific!you can ask me if you want..
It reminds me of Basilisk for some reason. It sounds like a good story. Hopefully you will tells us more. Like characters, or more description of the settings.. One thing I would say negative is that you say camera and panel. It just sounds weird..
well..i suggest it's a god war....actually it may be based on the roman gods!like,son of the son of zeus who is the rival of the son of the son of hades...but the drug maybe not suitable for it!Then how about the younger brother accidentally killed their mother so the older planned vengeace?What about a group of bad people but actually it doesn't suit for the sword fighting...THEN!what about they are warriors?at their past they are separated from different forces..when they grow up they didn't know they are brothers!it will be a love triangle!
Why is set in the Bakumastu yet you call it the feudal period? :/ And what are 5 warlords having a grand war in Bakumatsu, Japan was modernizing at this time and the Shogunate was dying. You need to set a clear period for your story.
I'm assuming that by "theme" you mean subject. You can't just say something like "revenge" and call it a theme. The story may include characters that are driven by revenge. However, the theme will be what you have to say about revenge, such as: revenge fuels hatred, or revenge is difficult to attain. Also, I didn't see an opening to any of your listed themes throughout the chapter. I think you should start off the story with the two brothers so you can introduce the main conflict (and relate the conflict to the themes). Ask yourself how Revenge, Honor, and Romance relate to the main characters.
