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I'm a young guy with bipolar disorder (that has, in the past, been quite severe), and I have a few fellow psychos as friends, and recently I was talking to an older friend who also has schizophrenia about an interesting question: Should people with mental illness date each other?

Personally, she said that she is against it; her first marriage was to a bipolar guy and that ended up being a total disaster, and she is very grateful that she now has a stable, sane husband who can act as a voice of reason (when the voices become unreasonable! LOL) in her life. However, I have also met a family in which both parents are bipolar, and they worked through their problems and they now have children that did not contract THE MADNESS.

Personally? I have never dated a fellow "headcase", but my last girlfriend was very cold and refused to understand my disease or why I acted the way I did: her attitude was basically "You're on medication now, so you have no excuse for any unstable behavior" and basically said it was my fault that I had bipolar disorder (that I had "psyched myself out")... so it's also hard for most "sane" people to understand what we're going through and how to deal with us when we begin to have irrational thoughts or behavior.

What think you guys? Also, when- during the beginning of a relationship- should one inform the person you're dating that you have bipolar disorder? If the person finds out you're bipolar before you yourself tell them (one time, I started going out with this chick I was really digging, but then a friend blabbed to her that I was bipolar, and she stopped returning my phone calls shortly afterwards), how do you approach that?

This is an interesting question that I'd like to dig into!

*goes to Wikipedia to search bipolar disorder*...I haven't heard of it before XD

That's a pretty good question I have asking myself for some time now (maybe because my older sister and my best friend are both psychologists and I speak about things like this too often). I can't have good answer for that, so I'll answer as the amatoeur that I am... I would say that people mentally ill should date eachother, but (there's a big BUT) first of all they should know eachother's illness and accept it; i mean if a normal person (well, no one's normal these days anyway XP) could date and love a metally ill person, I don't see why someone like that shouldn't.... those with illness should understand better what's going on and how is it to go through such things. I really think that understanding and accepting is the key at some point in a relationship (any kind of relationship)...because if a person understands and accepts, the other one feels that and that is the greatest help.

And I really think that a person shpuld tell their date about the illnes they know they have, I think that's fair for the both of them... because, let's face it, some normal people don't have the capacity of accepting/dealing with mentally ill people (maybe it's not the illnes that's bothering them, but there's the idea that the person you date it's not quite normal...and some people freak out, they're stressed about ). And if they find out later happens like it did to you with that girl who never returned you calls after she found out. The truth is alway the best said at the beginning, 'cause after a while everyone gets hurt and that's not the result people are hoping for.

I'm gonna put my two cents in.

I've agreed with some of the stuff JapLove has said. I think it really doesn't matter if those with mental illness date each other, as long as they are patient, accepting, and understanding of one another. Really, if they're in love, then I think it's fine.

Definitely tell the person you're seeing that you have bipolar disorder. That way you'll know that if she doesn't return your calls, she's a bitch. Only the ones who actually come to terms with your disorder and are patient with you, are the ones who you can probably see a future with. (Besides, I'm sorry, but your friend is a bitch too, for blabbing to her. It's your business, you should be the one to explain.)

Does this help? :P I'm hoping it does...

i dont think it really matters, as long as the other understands and has empathy.
and is stable

I believe there's only one way your issue would ever become a problem in a relationship. To put it bluntly: if you say to your girlfriend you're bipolar, and if she responds with "You swing both ways?!" without even a hint of sarcasm, then I'd suggest dumping her ass.