| Okay, I know this isn't exactly Casual discussion but this has been bothering me for awhile and yahoo answers was very mean and unhelpful with their answers so I thought I'd try posting it here. I have had this problem back in high school where if boobs were exposed, I would always accidentally look at them. its hard to describe: I would look at her eyes but with my peripherals I would look at her boobs and I know she could tell when I did. I want to make this very clear, I do not do this out of lust, I do not find boobs very attractive. This problem pretty much went away when I started college fall of 2015, but there was this one girl i met that had particularly large breasts. I did not even have this problem when I first met her because again the problem went away kind of. But one time I don't know how but I saw them one time and every since whenever I see her I would scream in my head "don't look! don't look!" and I know that makes it worse, but the problem is whenever i see her, in the back of my head i remember and look by accident. This started to happen somewhere in the spring 2016 semester and because of it I started to lose more and more confidence in myself and now the problem is even worse than it even was back in high school. It happens much more often now even when breasts are not exposed and it makes me so angry. I don't blame my friend that i met that i started having this problem again with, i know its my fault for being pathetic. I get so angry now whenever i do it that at the end of the day or when i have the chance I slap myself really hard in the face several times. I read online columns advising things such as "instead of thinking don't look, think look at their eyes what do their eyes look like today" which kinda worked for one day and other things such as picture what they think of you when you do that but That did not work at all. when I'm talking to them, Its not me taking glances at their breasts. its me looking at them but with my peripherals looking at their breasts which I know for a fact they can tell I'm looking at their chest. I don't wanna fucking do it but it just happens anyway Im thinking i just need to forget about it entirely but its just hard right now becuz its a large source of stress for me. does anyone here have good advise for me? |
| Purposefully look at them instead. |
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| Well, blindfold yourself. Or at least pretend you're not looking. Or look, but be honest and straight up about it and say,"I love your boobs." Welp, or you could call a psychologist or a hypnotist to solve your issues. EDIT: that rhymed. :p |
| go to a washroom and masturbate your corrupted feelings away |
| man, i wonder why i expected anything when i decided to post it here |
| Wear shades to make people think you are a self centered douche who is into himself and not actually looking at tities. |
| Just try to not think about it so much. The more thought you put into it, the more you'll end up accidentally doing it. I know it's easier said than done, but it's probably the only effective solution. Edit: the responses to this are making me weak I can't breathe |
okyuMay 23, 2016 9:33 PM
 ▬▬▬▬▬✿♥✿▬▬▬▬▬ change of heart |
| I'm not sure how much more helpful MAL could possibly be, I doubt majority of the people here look at anything other than 2d breasts perhaps consider getting professional help, or idk, invest in blindfolds or something |
 I'll be out ridin' my pony until it's time for candy And I'll be naked, because I want to ♫ |
Intense said: I'm not sure how much more helpful MAL could possibly be, I doubt majority of the people here look at anything other than 2d breasts perhaps consider getting professional help, or idk, invest in blindfolds or something that's a good point, tho. I thought maybe posting this here could lead me to someone w/advise i havn't tried yet |
| Conditioning. Just think about it and don't let your mind go blank. |
| Think of something else(for instance, what anime you are going to watch later, a good book...etc). It's what I do when someone is jabbering on and on while I feign interest just to appear polite(being nice is suffering). Unless you are looking at the person's breast while doing it, you'll find that they actually think you're making good conversation and eye contact. Two birds in one stone. |
| You probably have bad posture if your eyes drift towards her breasts. Keep your chin up. |
| watch enough ecchi/porn until u get desensitized man that would probably work but in all seriousness is it all that big of a deal, u don't need to beat urself up about it or anything it's just the male mindset haha but if u have an engaging enough conversation with the person u probably wouldn't have time looking at them breast anyway right EMBRACE UR INNER LEWDNESS |
| Go on to the Internet and find hundreds of pictures of boobs of all kinds, sizes and ethnicities. Put pictures of them all over your house and belongings. Everywhere you go in your private life, you will be surrounded by boobs. All you will see will be boobs. Do this until you get so desensitized and used to seeing boobs you will find no impulse to ever look at them again. |
| Wear sunglasses so girls don't know where you're looking. I remember in high school I didn't really pay attention to boobs at all and in PE class sometimes I would accidentally tag girls by touching their breasts, which they didn't approve of. That's how I learned how much girls value their breasts. |
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ModeratelyHuman said: Go on to the Internet and find hundreds of pictures of boobs of all kinds, sizes and ethnicities. Put pictures of them all over your house and belongings. Everywhere you go in your private life, you will be surrounded by boobs. All you will see will be boobs. Do this until you get so desensitized and used to seeing boobs you will find no impulse to ever look at them again. EXACTLY! great minds think alike :D |
| are you feeling guilt and shame all the time when your eyes automatically do it? if so you may have some OCD so try asking for professional help like clinical psychologists they will give you or teach you some help techniques like CBT (talking therapy) |
| Be more obvious about it. When you get a girl to say 'um, excuse me, my eyes are up here,' you'll know you've arrived at the other shore |
| I CELEBRATE myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. |
| accidentally looking at girl's boobs, and feel guilty about it. it's a normal. don't use your hands to slap your own face. and use your hands to fapping. it might be lower your stress meter |
| Control your eyeballs like a functional human being? |
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| Just pay attention to their faces. If the girl has a cute face then it should be no problem. If she is ugly then you're screwed my friend |
| Nothing is wrong with looking at woman's breast, its the distance that matter. |
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| It's a pretty normal thing to do. Peoples brains are just wired to do that. Dont worry about your eyes, just practice mindful meditation to learn to let go of the drifting focus. |
| Stop being a slave under the patriarchy |
 Nico- said: Conversations with people pinging/quoting me to argue about some old post I wrote years ago will not be entertained@Comic_Sans oh no y arnt ppl dieing i need more ppl dieing rly gud plot avansement jus liek tokyo ghoul if erbudy dies amirite |
| its cool as long as its not for an extended period of time. if you didnt find those attractive, you probably werent attracted to girls to begin with. |
| It's normal to have your eyes attracted to female breasts. It's the case for everybody, even women stare at other women's breasts before anything else ( http://www.cbsnews.com/news/scientists-say-women-stare-at-other-womens-chests-as-much-as-men/ ). You just don't have to think about it, it's probably because you are self-conscious about it that it becomes less subtle and more noticeable. If it's just a quick automatic look and you're not actively staring, it's normal and I would certainly not recommend professional help for something like that. Just stop worrying about it and noone will notice your milliseconds stare. |
| Like it or not that's kind of normal. |
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| Why would you stop? The fuck is wrong with you? |
 Vor uns liegt MAL, in uns marschiert MAL, und hinter uns, kommt MAL! |
Narmy said: Purposefully look at them instead. This. Breasts were made to be stared at OP. No shame in helping fulfil their purpose. |
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| glance quickly and dont make it obvious lol but focus on her eyes simple as that |
| Pour some holy water on your eyes and then have a nun scold you. |
| Signature removed. Please follow the signature rules, as defined in the Site & Forum Guidelines. |
| Just look at their eyes in a creepy way, then they won't notice. |
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| Op, I don't think the people in this thread have given you good advice, so I'm going to tell you exactly how to fix your problem. Instead of looking with your eyes start looking with your hands, problem solved. |
 Banner credit to @turnip |
| That's just sexual dimorphism, women evolved breasts to be ogled and sexualized, you have to look but you don't have to be creepy about it. Looking and then pretending like you didn't want to look is worse than just straight up staring. |
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| Pretend to be a blind person and go around asking girls to help you around places. If your eyeballs accidentally peer at their breasts, it won't matter because you're supposed to be blind. |
| Google pictures of boobs and stare at those. That way you can get it all out of your system and will hardly be phased by them anymore. |
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 The fastest solution and the only one that actually would work I could think... |
| It's a natural human tendency to look at something when it catches our attention. It's normal. You can try looking down at the floor when you feel like you might accidentally look at it or turn your gaze sideways. |
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| it's late and i'm really sleepy so i hope this doesn't end up sounding incoherent. honestly my best advice would be to not look for help in the general population, and instead ask a few people who have obsessive compulsive disorder (and are successfully dealing with it) about how they get their obsessive thoughts under control. i'm not saying you have ocd btw, don't worry. but the kind of pattern you're describing is corresponding to certain symptoms of it and it might help to talk to someone who experiences a more extreme version of the problem you're having. the last thing you need is to keep worrying about it, and from what you said it seems like places like yahoo answers and online columns only make things worse. i'd like to say something useful but i can't come up with anything other then the generic "it's normal to notice boobs don't worry about it so much" which obviously doesn't help since you're already worrying quite a bit as it seems. but really - "its me looking at them but with my peripherals looking at their breasts which I know for a fact they can tell I'm looking at their chest" - trust me, they can't tell. what you're describing is covert attention, if you're not overtly directing gaze there is no way for them to know. |
deadoptimist said: Though I think shit-flinging should also have standards - no personal, no behind the scenes. |
| That is completely natural. Scientists used head mounted devices on people to track their eye movements in a study, and found that men are inclined to look at either a woman's chest or butt first when encountering them. My advise is look directly between people's eyes when interacting with them to keep your inadvertent perving kept at a minimum. |
SlawadiaMay 29, 2016 4:50 PM
Type_alpha said: I have had this problem back in high school where if boobs were exposed, I would always accidentally look at them. Well, people usually expose something to make others notice it, so if a girl wears a dress that expose her cleavage I'll gladly look at it. Also, think of boobs as sacks of fat, it may help, maybe. I don't know, my school is 9/10 males so, yeah. fuck. |
Here-Hear said: Conditioning. Just think about it and don't let your mind go blank. This. It is annoying when you honestly do not mean to do it but it just kinda happens like a reflex when you dont think about it. I was like this when I was in my younger teens. You literally have to consciously think about NOT doing it. And what I did (which was even harder for me at the time) was intentionally look the girls right in the eyes for most of,if not all of, the conversation. I was so shy back in the day that this was SUPER difficult for me but it worked quite well and had a positive effect in the end. I always used to look off somewhere else when talking to anyone but even more so with a cute girl. If you can do it then make a point to look them right in the eyes. Hope this helps! |
| I had a girlfriend in middle school/early high school that had huge tits. I stared. Straight up stared at her chest often and peeked down her top any chance I got. I was a pervy little shit and she knew. She teased me but never really got mad. We broke up for good sophomore year but we had a lot of classes together and we stayed friends. I still was tempted to check out her chest. So instead I started noticing other things about her, like what kind of earrings she had on that day or what color her eyeshadow was or whatever detail kept me above her shoulders. Try to find some unimportant detail like that to focus on instead and think of a compliment to give. Other than time I'm not sure what to suggest. I'm not near as bad as I was at 12-16. |
| Make them cover up. Any girl who puts her cleavage on display shouldn't complain when it attracts an audience. |
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Theworstshow said: What's backwards is exposing my dick and saying "nobody look! This is me expressing myself!"Ratohnhaketon said: Make them cover up. Any girl who puts her cleavage on display shouldn't complain when it attracts an audience. lol this is pretty backwards thinking m8 Not saying stare and ogle them, I see cleavage and it's just impossible not to pay attention to. It's not about being aroused or turned on, it's just there as plain as day. There's some fat women with huge tits that make me want to vomit. But when they've got them hanging out like cow utters, I can't unsee them. |
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