| Haven't made a thread since... well basically since that discussion on trolling. Sigh. Finally got irritated enough about something to make a thread about it. ================= So, just recently (more like 10 minutes ago) I ran into a situation where I needed help from a specific person, and while waiting for his answer, some other guy decides to guy decides to "help" by suggesting unrelated ways to "improve" my experience. So, being the normal person that gets solicited, I politely try and explain my lack of interest. I ain't in the right circumstances to be upgrading or improving anything, nor did I even want his help. Check back today and surprise! He wants to know why, took the additional step of walking me through the how, and is even telling me where. And here I am not sure how to turn him down anymore and bitching about it on MAL. So, I want to ask MAL a few things: Are you one of these people? Why do you think you/they keep trying to help when it's unwanted? How the hell do you turn these people down without looking like a dick? Ghostwhite bonus since I forgot to to it last time. This happened on MAL of all places, with me asking for tech support. Ugh, I hope no one seriously stalks me to find out what I'm talking about. Seriously, go away and do something else. Like watch anime. |
| I don't go out of my way to help people, nor would I care enough to be so persistent with follow up questions... if somebody wants your help, they'll come to you, you shouldn't force it on them. Anyway, I'll say you brought this on yourself by being an attention whore that everyone wants to please and be buddies with. |
| [size=200]MAL AVATAR SYSTEM BLOWS |
| this haapened to me just yesterda. i asked a VERY simple question from someone, "do you know where that video is" should have bee: "shit, sorry, nopes" "Yah right here"or evem "let me look quick" but no, i got an hour+ long rant on how hulu must haved moved it b/c if Robin Williams material. This from a man who thinks yahoo "took away" his email b/c he doesn't even know how to access it. (dear dad, i made you a book of passwords - siee? i just pulled up your email). In fact he doesn't even understand when when signing up for a service, he maybe actually NEED that emil OR pass when hi comp crshes one day. i can't wait! point being: was looking for a simple link. not an hour+ rant overt nomthing!!!! |
Are you one of these people? Personally, I have never denied any help or at least the attempt at it. Why do you think you/they keep trying to help when it's unwanted? In my mind, they might keep trying because they haven't been told clearly enough that their help is unwanted. Besides, many potential helpers lose interest after a while if no one responds back. How the hell do you turn these people down without looking like a dick? If I were you, I would tell the person directly that I wouldn't want his or her help. A simple, impersonal and direct approach is the best one imho. I guess you aren't allowed to use the ignore feature for users because of your mod status, however, in my opinion, you should be able to either resolve it in private/person or ignore it entirely and wait until the other one loses interests. That's still 2 out of 3 options (the 3rd one being an ignore function) left which came to mind. |
| just be a dick, melly |
| Don't remember it happening to me. I don't usually go around asking for help anyway. And when I do, it's usually to a specific person privately. If I do end up asking in public, then I will expect all the help I can get. Unless they go too overboard. But I've not that happen. |
| they have good intentions but it just gets annoying. |
| i swear i asked this once but yeah i would tell them to stop http://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=1245723 |
UTSANOMIKOAug 23, 2014 6:57 PM
| RRRRRRRRRR |
| I have no problem with turning people down like a dick. Naturally I try to be polite about it first, but if they can't take a hint then being a dick is a good option. |
| I don't help people unless they ask me for it. |
| I'm here to help Mellow. Just give me a call. |
| "Let Justice Be Done!" My Theme Fight again, fight again for justice! |
| I usually look interested and continue with what I am doing, if someone offers advice I might say oh that's a great tip, but I already use it. I am one of those people that try to help other people, and well people are jerks to me about it. RedRoseFring said: I'm here to help Mellow. Just give me a call. |
 |
| There are some rude, unsocial motherfuckers on this site. I accept help whenever I can get it. Unless I know what I'm doing. |
an egomaniac and a fool |
| I'm lazy as fuck, so if somebody wants to do the work for me while I get the rewards, let the dumb bastard do it. |
mclovinballz said: I'm lazy as fuck, so if somebody wants to do the work for me while I get the rewards, let the dumb bastard do it. mmmmmm this :] |
  Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet |
| "I don't want/need your help." |
 |
lpf said: To be fair, anyone could've helped me. This was a public "ask support questions here" type thing. I just happened to be helped in a way I didn't want.ask your questions privately if you don't want others to answer. you win by not receiving unrequested replies and the chat room wins by not getting useless, exclusive messages. win-win. and please don't blame people for replying to public queries. if anything, it's your fault for posting your private question publicly. ReaperCreeper said: Easy on paper, hard in practice."I don't want/need your help." People get too offended easily... |
MellowJello said: "How dare you be capable on your own!"ReaperCreeper said: Easy on paper, hard in practice."I don't want/need your help." People get too offended easily... |
|
| Just explain to them that someone else is helping you and that their help is unneeded and unnecessary. You're making this a lot harder than it needs to be. |
 |
| "Thanks you for your interest in helping me, and while your suggestions might provide me some benefit, I'm looking to resolve my specific problem in a very specific manner, and I have no immediate intentions to employ other possible solutions at this time." |
| Probably because he/she wants special treatment from you in one way or another, and by 'helping' you he thinks he'll get that. Maybe out of jealously cause they would like you to ask them for help instead of said other person depending on the situation. Most likey something somewhere along those lines |
| I intentionally try to help whoever with whatever, even if they don't ask for it. I don't see the issue with it, and honestly if you take issue with people trying to help you when their help isn't helpful or wanted you should just tell them straight up. You don't need to tell them to "screw off" or anything, but just politely explain that you aren't interested and were specifically looking for a specific person's answer on the subject. As for why the person is pushing, it might be the way you responded to him. I don't know his circumstances, but I figure that saying I'm not interested in a certain way might sound weird or like rejection to some people. In any case, like I said, just explain that you were looking for a specific person's response. Its no big deal and if he takes issue by it its his own fault. |
| Are you one of these people? Maybe, but I usually just drop a few info or link and leave. Why do you think you/they keep trying to help when it's unwanted? Maybe because they want to be helpful, maybe they do that to repent for their sins, maybe they were hitting on you, maybe they were forced by the malevolent god to help at least one people everyday for the rest of their lives, maybe- who knows? How the hell do you turn these people down without looking like a dick? You have to be a dick, that's how to get point across to overtly helpful people. I hope my answer helps you. |
| The most important things in life is the people that you care about |
| I never give any help unless I'm asking. I can't take hints either so you have to specifically tell me "I need help" for me to help you, but when someone needs help I go out of my way to do everything I can. On the other side, I like to receive help always when I ask, and sometimes when I realize I don't ask for it, but I still need it. |
| S H O U T _ O L D _ B U T _ G O L D |
| Where have you been this is kind of serious... leaving without reason? |
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