| So I have a pretty big crush on my friend. We are really similar and like a lot of the same stuff (punk rock, star trek, politics, cooking). The only problem is, she has a 35 year old boyfriend who lives in NY, NY (she 20 and lives in FL). They have been dating for over two years (long distance) and still haven't broken up... The school year is almost over, and I have yet to confess my affection for her. I don't feel it is right to intrude upon her relationship. How can I tell if she really likes me (likes me enough to leave her boyfriend)? Is it worth ruining a friendship over bottled up feelings? When is the best time to tell her my feelings? How do I make it less awkward? Am I a terrible person for wanting them to break up for my own selfish interests? thanks |
| Tell her you're an alien. That won't help you asking her out, but it'll keep her away from you. Problem solved. |
 |
| Over 2 years long distance? 35 year old boyfriend? this story is either fiction and she just isn't in to you OP. Or she's ugly. Eitherway give up OP. |
 |
| Seeing as how she has a 35 year old boyfriend, is she into older guys then? If she is, then you probably stand little chance of being with her. |
 |
| I think he is a bit controlling. She once said that she feels like an old woman being in a committed relationship. And she sometimes texts me that she misses me when we don't see each other for a week, and wants to live in the same house as me next year.... |
| I wouldn't do it man, I don't think she would accept you and become a sluzza. She has a 35 year old boyfriend. Shit, the guy would be storming back to her if he found out you confessed lel. or She's probably planning to break up with that geezer and might ask you out. |
 |
| If all else fails, make an age gap/NTR/hentai manga out of it. |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
| Ya, give up. Telling her will only make things awkward. Being in a long-distance relationship for longer than a year is really hard to break out of especially since the man is a lot more older than her. Sorry bud :/ |
 |
| I feel like she uses me as a pseudo-boyfriend, Somebody to hangout and go out with, but not have intimate contact with. AKA the friend-zone. |
yung-heezy said: I feel like she uses me as a pseudo-boyfriend, Somebody to hangout and go out with, but not have intimate contact with. AKA the friend-zone. Ehhh, so the problem is that simple? There you go:  |
|
| Jokingly mention that you don't know how she can do it with a guy over 30 since they have excessively wrinkled scrotums. She'll probably laugh, but you just let her know it's a true fact. When she acts like she doesn't believe you tell her you'll prove it to her by showing her your scrotum. If she agrees to see your scrotum you have won. |
| There's no need for all this tension. |
| Though its impossible to get a full scope on the situation from that brief description, i really (personal feelings here, i know everyone is different) don't think trying to get between then is a very virtuous decision.. Just imagine of you were dating her and some distance came between you two, but you both agreed to keep your relationship going.. only to have a guy try to take her from you.. Though if you find out that he is cheating on her or is a completely shit boyfriend in some way.. get on that ;) That's not to say you should just keep everything bottled up though! making her aware of your feeling is okay, and maybe if she is aware of them she may willingly leave this guy for you! But basically what i'm trying to convey is; is that i can't agree with the concept of someone breaking up a relationship for their own benefit, sorry! (again i'd like to reiterate that this is just my opinion! and i don't dictate what is 'right', so if you disagree that's fine!) |
 |
| friends = pseudo-boyfriends >MAL |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
| You're not a terrible person for being selfish, especially since you recognize that what you want to do is in fact selfish... Let me give you some advice: if she's willing to leave him for you, she'd be willing to leave you for someone else. You don't want that kind of relationship. |
| You must have a bloody fight with her BF. Last man standing gets the girl, but if you lose he will castrate you to get rid of the chance of further competition for mates. Your choice OP (PS dont forget: hit below to open up above!) |
| The Art of Eight |
LTTuall said: Though its impossible to get a full scope on the situation from that brief description, i really (personal feelings here, i know everyone is different) don't think trying to get between then is a very virtuous decision.. Just imagine of you were dating her and some distance came between you two, but you both agreed to keep your relationship going.. only to have a guy try to take her from you.. Though if you find out that he is cheating on her or is a completely shit boyfriend in some way.. get on that ;) That's not to say you should just keep everything bottled up though! making her aware of your feeling is okay, and maybe if she is aware of them she may willingly leave this guy for you! But basically what i'm trying to convey is; is that i can't agree with the concept of someone breaking up a relationship for their own benefit, sorry! (again i'd like to reiterate that this is just my opinion! and i don't dictate what is 'right', so if you disagree that's fine!) I agree with you. Her boyfriend is a good guy. They argue a lot but I think that is just both of their personalities... I wouldn't want to maliciously plant seeds of distrust into her long distance relationship, but it just hurts having all this unrequited love. I suppose I should tell her. but not in a way that asks her to date/hookup with me, but instead just a "I need to tell you this because it has been bothering me for a long time." |
sargos7 said: You're not a terrible person for being selfish, especially since you recognize that what you want to do is in fact selfish... Let me give you some advice: if she's willing to leave him for you, she'd be willing to leave you for someone else. You don't want that kind of relationship. I would be OK with that. If she found a guy who made her happier than I could, I wouldn't mind letting her go. Maybe I'm just beta, but I think everybody has a right to their own decisions. Also monogamy is kinda pointless when you are in your 20s |
yung-heezy said: I agree with you. Her boyfriend is a good guy. They argue a lot but I think that is just both of their personalities... I wouldn't want to maliciously plant seeds of distrust into her long distance relationship, but it just hurts having all this unrequited love. I suppose I should tell her. but not in a way that asks her to date/hookup with me, but instead just a "I need to tell you this because it has been bothering me for a long time." Yeah, i think most of us know those unrequited love feels.. and i commend you if you can manage the courage to confess your feelings to her! Again, only my opinion here.. but i think confessing to her would be a good thing.. i know the aspect of "what if it ruins our friendship" thoughts, but in other times i've known guys in these situations (where the girl didn't actually like the guy) it was awkward between them for a week or two.. but then both sort of adjusted to the situation and all was good again.. and i think it really helped those guys to get closure on the situation (as to whether the girl like them not) they accepted it if she didn't, or they got some action if she did ;) either way, its a far better option that sitting in the anxious and frustrating limbo of the unknown that you're currently sitting in! |
|
| A relationship with such an age gap will never work out anyway, so I wouldn't feel guilty to accelerate its end. |
| Proud founder of the 20+ virgins club. Please visit my manga blog for manga updates and more! Mup da doo didda po mo muhfuggen bix nood ^ Need someone who can translate this. Pm me pls. |
| You're just going to destroy everything. |
yung-heezy said: sargos7 said: You're not a terrible person for being selfish, especially since you recognize that what you want to do is in fact selfish... Let me give you some advice: if she's willing to leave him for you, she'd be willing to leave you for someone else. You don't want that kind of relationship. I would be OK with that. If she found a guy who made her happier than I could, I wouldn't mind letting her go. Maybe I'm just beta, but I think everybody has a right to their own decisions. Also monogamy is kinda pointless when you are in your 20s If that's really the way you look at things, then I guess you've got nothing to lose in that respect, but there's still the possibility that attempting to break them up will make her hate you. Even just confessing your feelings to her could put too much of a strain on your friendship for it to continue. If you're willing to accept that risk as well, then I'd say go for it. Tell her everything. |
| Im in the same situation not too long ago. I didnt tell her in the end. |
"I have been wielding a blade since before your were swimming around your father's scrotum." - Kurou |
flustercuck said: Just tell her "you're hot lose the bf." For real though, what punk bands do you like? Just to name few: Protomartyr Wet Nurse No Trend Happy Diving Crisis Native Nod 1905 Street Eaters Holograms Flipper I also like 90s emo, skramz, pop punk (i.e. Defiance Ohio, The Sidekicks, Dads, etc), and other similar genres |
yung-heezy said: ... Or she might be interested in you but she stays with this other guy because she doesn't know you share her feelings. Long-distance relationship with a guy twice her age sounds pretty unequal and unhealthy to me.sargos7 said: You're not a terrible person for being selfish, especially since you recognize that what you want to do is in fact selfish... Let me give you some advice: if she's willing to leave him for you, she'd be willing to leave you for someone else. You don't want that kind of relationship. I would be OK with that. If she found a guy who made her happier than I could, I wouldn't mind letting her go. Maybe I'm just beta, but I think everybody has a right to their own decisions. Also monogamy is kinda pointless when you are in your 20s Anyways, speaking from experience here, OP, tell her how you feel or you will regret it. You don't have to make it all awkward and uncomfortable, though. If she's really your friend, you should be able to share your feelings without putting pressure on her. Tell her you care about her and want what's best for her, whether that means she ends up with you or with the other guy. After that, it's out of your hands, but at least you didn't hold back and end up always wondering how it could have been. |
flustercuck said: yung-heezy said: mmm I don't know much of those bands but I like Defiance Ohio and seen the Sidekicks a couple times.flustercuck said: Just tell her "you're hot lose the bf." For real though, what punk bands do you like? Just to name few: Protomartyr Wet Nurse No Trend Happy Diving Crisis Native Nod 1905 Street Eaters Holograms Flipper I also like 90s emo, skramz, pop punk (i.e. Defiance Ohio, The Sidekicks, Dads, etc), and other similar genres You should definitely check out "Dads" hey are like my favorite band (a little more mathy/emo than Sidekicks)! Also Glocca Morra is great. Teenage Cool Kids, Jejune, The Menzingers, are also really good |
| try to take over her OP. she is not item or property so she can actually choose you if you are better. |
| please sell me the condom, mister I would like to fuck my sister! condoms really worth to keep I will fuck her very deep! could you be my condom keeper? so I could try to fuck her deeper! please think I m stupid but please dont think I m a troll. -------------------------------------------------------------- http://protpisaenglish.blogspot.com/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipzn0J8cfrY |
| Meanwhile on some far off thread: "There's this guy that's friends with my girlfriend and I think he's trying to steal her away from me. What should I do?" |
| dont go for it you'd be better off without having a gf |
| RRRRRRRRRR |
flustercuck said: No foffense but Ip pretty much agree with the general concesnsus, you're prtty much FUCKED. there's no good outcome out otf this. So you think I'm better off remaining friends with her? Then pursuing a relationship with someone else, even if it's possible she might have feelings for me? Why must every girl I'm compatible with has a boyfriend?!?!?!? |
sargos7 said: You're not a terrible person for being selfish, especially since you recognize that what you want to do is in fact selfish... Let me give you some advice: if she's willing to leave him for you, she'd be willing to leave you for someone else. You don't want that kind of relationship. Basically yeah. Same goes for cheaters, if somebody cheats on their partner with you why on earth would you hook up with em? Had to explain this to my brother when he was in a similar predicament. |
| Tonight, Synklare joins the hunt. |
| Regardless of the individual circumstances going after anyone in a relationship is not cool. You wouldn't like it if somebody asked out your girlfriend while knowing that she was with you so don't do it to somebody else. |
| Watch my anime reviews. Or don't. It's up to you really. Latest video: HYOUKA. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpByqgRSDeLM9gPOSXRYVVQ |
| OP if you think confessing your feelings to her is worth possible rejection and ruining friendship with her,go for it. |
| Addicted to visual novels omgg |
| If she has a boyfriend you better be packing. I slept with Joni Mitchell while she was dating James Taylor in the 70's, didn't end well |
| Signature removed. Please follow the signature rules, as defined in the Site & Forum Guidelines. |
| Dump his body in the river. |
BarryManilow said: hahaIf she has a boyfriend you better be packing. I slept with Joni Mitchell while she was dating James Taylor in the 70's, didn't end well Infinite said: Classic Infinite advice.Dump his body in the river. |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
yung-heezy said: I feel like she uses me as a pseudo-boyfriend, Somebody to hangout and go out with, but not have intimate contact with. AKA the friend-zone. Mamimii said: friends = pseudo-boyfriends >MAL Fucking boys can't grasp that men and women can be friends without wanting to sleep together. I was going to say go for it, but with an attitude like that I don't think you deserve her. I tell my male friends that I miss them, I ask them over to my place to hang out, we go for meals etc but we're friends, as you and this girl are. She's treating you like a person and you respond like a dick |
  |
| Come on guys, yung-heezy sounds legit. yung..heezy and yeah, dont even. i mean if shes not into you. shes not into you. |
 |
yung-heezy said: flustercuck said: No foffense but Ip pretty much agree with the general concesnsus, you're prtty much FUCKED. there's no good outcome out otf this. So you think I'm better off remaining friends with her? Then pursuing a relationship with someone else, even if it's possible she might have feelings for me? Why must every girl I'm compatible with has a boyfriend?!?!?!? If you've known her for long, you could as well confess. I don't believe long-time friends would let something that petty destroy their friendship, and you would have one less thing to worry about. |
Kuromii said: Yup yup yup. Maybe if he had more 'i's at the end of his username he would understand.Fucking boys can't grasp that men and women can be friends without wanting to sleep together. I was going to say go for it, but with an attitude like that I don't think you deserve her. I tell my male friends that I miss them, I ask them over to my place to hang out, we go for meals etc but we're friends, as you and this girl are. She's treating you like a person and you respond like a dick |
LoneWolf said: @Josh makes me sad to call myself Canadian. |
| It would sort of make your friendship awkward when she already has a boyfriend if you confessed....it is as it is. They might be together for even longer, maybe you should find someone else? |
   |
Kuromii said: yung-heezy said: I feel like she uses me as a pseudo-boyfriend, Somebody to hangout and go out with, but not have intimate contact with. AKA the friend-zone. Mamimii said: friends = pseudo-boyfriends >MAL Fucking boys can't grasp that men and women can be friends without wanting to sleep together. I was going to say go for it, but with an attitude like that I don't think you deserve her. I tell my male friends that I miss them, I ask them over to my place to hang out, we go for meals etc but we're friends, as you and this girl are. She's treating you like a person and you respond like a dick You're probably right : ( I guess I'll just have to find love somewhere else. |
Kuromii said: yung-heezy said: I feel like she uses me as a pseudo-boyfriend, Somebody to hangout and go out with, but not have intimate contact with. AKA the friend-zone. Mamimii said: friends = pseudo-boyfriends >MAL Fucking boys can't grasp that men and women can be friends without wanting to sleep together. I was going to say go for it, but with an attitude like that I don't think you deserve her. I tell my male friends that I miss them, I ask them over to my place to hang out, we go for meals etc but we're friends, as you and this girl are. She's treating you like a person and you respond like a dick It's the self entitlement of some guys that really gets me, but what you mentioned also annoys me. They think the only type of girl that they can have as just a friend is ''an ugly one'', which is just horrendous. I suppose it's better that those who think that ''ugly'' girls are not worth their time at all. |
| OP. I feel it is time I part you the Wisdom of the Runes. First you must find out, is this man real? Is he any Danger to me? Consult Anom, hide trackers in her computer, read every message she makes then you can get even closer than you were before! Then if he is not real confront her with screams of YOU LIAR! Show up at her home with a cooked meal when you know her people arn't home...anyways where were we..ah yes. If he is Real and is a thret, seek the help of a Professional. Killer. If he is not, travel across country and Murder him while dressed as a flower deliverman with a shotgun hidden in the box. Oh I know what you all are about to say next. But Red! Thats Crazy! What if he doesn't own a shotgun! Simple steal it from the pigs. They are shitty with armory security. Gun down anyone that gets in your way. Or use your hacking friends you made at anom to hack his email and send her hateful emails. Lastely you must make her yours. Travel into the deep south or the mid east and rent a hotel, have a legit reason for this trip. Go into her room in the dead of night, kneel. When she says you can't be here and stands up to stop you give in full force to your animal instincts. Stand up and punch her in the stomach. When shes winded and fallen over have your way with her and rape her with beasty brutality and pure on domination. She will not soon forget this night! And the local government will force you to marry. Good Luck Op. |
More topics from this board
Poll: » school uniform or no school uniform which is better? ( 1 2 )deg - Feb 21 |
97 |
by Ex-Aid
»»
8 minutes ago |
|
» 2023-2024 NBA Season Discussion ( 1 2 3 4 5 ... Last Page )deg - Jun 18, 2023 |
669 |
by Hitagi__Furude
»»
58 minutes ago |
|
» What do you think about online friendship?Mehwish_999 - Apr 21 |
41 |
by ShimmyShimmur
»»
2 hours ago |
|
» (Personality) Try to paste 3 different statements that matter to youIpreferEcchi - Yesterday |
14 |
by R-unknown
»»
4 hours ago |
|
» Do you enjoy nature?Kamikaze_404 - Today |
23 |
by Rhaelynne
»»
4 hours ago |