Shot Through the Heart

Sep 4, 2009 8:25 PM

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Jul 2018

564612

*Srry but imma b lazy and not use caps*

i was only seven when my parents separated."our flame simply went out",my mom would say.two years later she announced her engagement to a new man,john enrique.his son,anthony,was 11 at the time;two years older than me.he appeared to be cold and distant so i didn't like him much,but as time went by i noticed that he was always the one at my side when i needed a shoulder to lean on.he would help me with my homework,buy me snacks,and most impotantly,he'd protect me from bullies.

we're in high school now.anthony-who's 17 now- is in his junior year and i'm just beginning my freshman year.i listen to my purple locket dangle as i walk to my next class.anthony bought it for my 15th birthday last week.he said the purple color is supposed to stand for protection,but i think he only bought it because purple's my favorite color.it's after school and i see anthony across the street talking to 2 guys wearing white."hey tony,wanna walk home with me today?" i asked as i approached him.he gave me an unfamiliar look,one i never saw him express before."umm..yeah..give me a minute ok." he glanced at the two guys and then looked back at me,"here's a dollar,why don't you go get us some brownies from the snack bar." without any thought i took the money and began to walk away,yet in my mind i kept thinking that something didn't feel right.that's when i hear the gun shots.i turned around as a black car drove off and saw anthony lying in a pool of blood.i was so horrified i couldn't even scream.it felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me.i fell to my knees and began to sob.security guards immediately rushed over to anthony's side but in my heart i knew it was already too late...he was gone.

i barricaded myself in my room for days,not wanting to eat,sleep,or even cry.i didn't know what to do quite frankly. i finally left my room only to attend anthony's funeral,after that i went back to my isolation.three weeks after anthony's death i had to return to school.i dreaded every step i took from my house forward.i clasped anthony's locket tightly in my fist hoping it would give me enough strength to make it through the day.

as i walked i could here the sound of a car driving slowly around me.i tried to ignore it at first but then someone started calling out my name.i turned around and saw the two guys who were speaking with anthony right before he died.they both stared at me for a moment before i spoke,"what do you want."i said rudely."eh,sorry about your brother,we uh,knew him well right tyrone?" they both seemed very amused by the remark which told me they weren't my brother's friends at all.i turned and began to walk away but one of the guys got out the car and began to pursue me.once he caught up he grabbed my arm tightly and whispered,"if anyone asks you ain't seen us on the day your brother died,got it!"

something about that threat truly pissed me off and i just kinda lost it.i dropped my bag and furiously began to claw at the man.shocked at first, he struggled to fight me off.by then his accomplice,tyrone, had got out the car and was already reaching into his jacket.all i heard was a loud pop as a sharp pain began to arise in my chest."Derek,let's go man!Let's go!"

after that i blacked out

removed-userSep 5, 2009 7:20 AM

Sep 4, 2009 8:41 PM

removed-user

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Jul 2018

564612

*ending*

When I woke up I was inside a hospital room.Mom and John weren't there so I figured that they had took a break and grabbed a quick snack.A nurse had walked in to check my chart and saw that I was awake and sitting upright,"O no dear please lay back down,it's much too early for you to be siting up"
"Oh",as I felt my chest I noticed that my locket was missing."Um,excuse me..nurse.Have you seen my locket.It's purple and has a gold chain,and-"
"Oh that's right,I almost forgot,"she felt around in her pockets for a while until finally she pulled out my locket,gold chain and all,"Your mom had us locate this in your possessions box.She said it was very important to you and that we were to return it to you as soon as we found it."
She placed the locket in my eager hands and before she left the room she turned around and said,"You know,it's not really important but the doc told me that if it weren't for that clunky necklace right there,that bullet would've passed straight through you."After that she left, smiling.
I took a closer look at my locket and sure enough there was a big hole in it.Though my locket was damaged I was in someway happy,relieved almost...Anthony remained by my side til the very end...

The End

Sep 5, 2009 12:52 AM

Fatal1078

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May 2008

367

*sob* Although its kinda sad its great T_T

I found some typos:
*without any thought i took the money and began to walk away,yet in my mind i kept thinking that something didn't feel right.
*i finally left my room only to attend anthony's funeral,after that i went back to my isolation.
*i tried to ignore it at frist but then someone started calling out my name.
*eh,sorry about your brother,we uh,knew him well right tyrone?" they both seemed very amused by the remark which told me they weren't my brother's friends at all.
and a wrong grammar:
*They both stared at me for a moment before i spoke,"what do you want."

tnx for the great story

Sep 5, 2009 7:18 AM

removed-user

Offline

Jul 2018

564612

Fatal1078 said:
*sob* Although its kinda sad its great T_T

I found some typos:
*without any thought i took the money and began to walk away,yet in my mind i kept thinking that something didn't feel right.
*i finally left my room only to attend anthony's funeral,after that i went back to my isolation.
*i tried to ignore it at frist but then someone started calling out my name.
*eh,sorry about your brother,we uh,knew him well right tyrone?" they both seemed very amused by the remark which told me they weren't my brother's friends at all.
and a wrong grammar:
*They both stared at me for a moment before i spoke,"what do you want."

tnx for the great story

Thnx Fatal.I was typing at night so I couldn't see right.

Sep 8, 2009 2:31 AM

Fatal1078

Offline

May 2008

367

yeah i know what you mean
happens to me a lot...

Nov 28, 2009 11:02 AM

paigy_loli

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Jul 2009

589

I liked it, it reminds me of a short story I wrote about a year ago about a ghost and a man. (it has no relation however, but it just reminded me of it.) "Shot Through the Heart" was a sad story indeed. Touching almost. Wished it was longer. But I think this made a very good short story. Nice going. *thumbs up

If I'm no longer replying back, means my life is busy. As simple as that. Will get back as life settle down.

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Shot Through the Heart

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