Joker

<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 185%;"><em>When super-villains want to scare each other, they tell Joker stories.</em><!--size--></span> <img src="http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/0/9506/276804-844-joker_large.jpg" border="0"><!--center--></div> <img src="http://pixeljoint.com/files/icons/joker.gif" border="0"><span style="font-size: 300%;"><strong>Joker</strong><!--size--></span><span style="font-size: 225%;">, also known as:<!--size--></span> <div class="spoiler"><input type="button" class="button" onClick="this.nextSibling.nextSibling.style.display='block';this.style.display='none';" value="Show spoiler"> <span class="spoiler_content" style="display:none"><input type="button" class="button" onClick="this.parentNode.style.display='none';this.parentNode.parentNode.childNodes[0].style.display='block';" value="Hide spoiler"><br>1. Ace of Knaves 2. The Arch Buffoon of Banditry 3. The Bandit Buffoon 4. The Brazen Buffoon 5. The Brazen Bufoon of Crime 6. The Burglar Buffoon 7. The Caliph of Clowns 8. The Clown Prince of Crime 9. The Clown of Crime 10. The Comic of Crime 11. The Crafty Clown of Crime 12. The Crime Clown 13. The Crime Jester 14. The Cunning Crime King 15. The Cunning Caliph of Crime 16. The Fearsome Fakir 17. The Fiendish Funster 18. The Funny Man of Felony 19. The Grim Jester 20. The Grinning Gargoyle of Greed 21. The Harlequin of Crime 22. The Harlequin of Hate 23. The Hilarious Harlequin 24. The Hoodlum Harlequin 25. The Jaunty Jester 26. The Jeering Jackanapes 27. The Jeering Jester of Crime 28. The Jester of Crime 29. The Jocund Jack of All Crimes 30. The King of Jesters 31. The Leonardo of the Larcenous Laugh 32. The Macbre Master of Mirth 33. The Mad Buffoon 34. The Mad Maestro of Mirth 35. The Madman of Mirth 36. The Maestro of Malevolent Mirth 37. The Mad Master of Mirth 38. The Mad Manager of Menace 39. The Mad Merrymaker 40. The Merry Madcap of Mayhem 41. The Mirthful Mountebank of Mischief and Menace 42. The Mocking Mountebank of Menace 43. The Mogul of Mountebanks 44. The Malevolent Mime 45. The Malicious Mountebank 46. The Man of a Thousand False Fronts 47. The Master of Menace 49. The Mirthful Mountebank 50. The Mocking Mountebank 51. The Prince of Pranksters 52. The Ringmaster of Riotous Robbery 53. The Spinner of Sinister Skeins 54. The Tycoon of Teasing Terror<!--spoiler--></span></div> <img src="http://pixeljoint.com/files/icons/joker.gif" border="0"><span style="font-size: 300%;"><strong>Joker <em>Classic</em></strong><!--size--></span> <div class="spoiler"><input type="button" class="button" onClick="this.nextSibling.nextSibling.style.display='block';this.style.display='none';" value="Show spoiler"> <span class="spoiler_content" style="display:none"><input type="button" class="button" onClick="this.parentNode.style.display='none';this.parentNode.parentNode.childNodes[0].style.display='block';" value="Hide spoiler"><br> <img src="http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm297/1eyedjoker/jokes/jokerjoke2.jpg" border="0"> <img src="http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p219/brad_ellison/JokerStealsreportCard.jpg" border="0"> <img src="http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm297/1eyedjoker/jokes/jokerjoke.jpg" border="0"> <img src="http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm297/1eyedjoker/jokes/paint.jpg" border="0"><!--spoiler--></span></div> <img src="http://pixeljoint.com/files/icons/joker.gif" border="0"><span style="font-size: 300%;"><strong>Quoth the Joker </strong><!--size--></span> <div class="spoiler"><input type="button" class="button" onClick="this.nextSibling.nextSibling.style.display='block';this.style.display='none';" value="Show spoiler"> <span class="spoiler_content" style="display:none"><input type="button" class="button" onClick="this.parentNode.style.display='none';this.parentNode.parentNode.childNodes[0].style.display='block';" value="Hide spoiler"><br> <span style="color:red">"This guy goes into the hospital, okay?...His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the Doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been <em>so</em> worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the maternity ward with his flowers. But its <em>empty</em>. His wife's bed is <em>empty</em>. 'Doc?' He says and turns around, and the doctor and all the nurses wave theirs arms and scream in his face.<em>'APRIL FOOL! YOUR WIFE'S DEAD AND THE BABY'S A SPASTIC!!'</em>"<!--color--></span> - Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth "If they're going to play with the Joker, they'd better be prepared to deal from the bottom of the deck!" - Batman #1 “What's the matter, Batman? No witty comeback? No threat? Then I'll provide the narration... I'll begin with how I peeled back the layers of the boy's mind. Oh, he bravely tried to fight it at first. You would've been proud to see him so strong. But all too soon, the shocks and the serums took their toll, and the boy began to share such secrets with me. Secrets that are mine alone to know... Bruce. It's true, Batsy! I know everything. And kinda like the kid who peeks at his Christmas presents, I must admit, it's sadly anti-climactic. Behind all the sturm and bat-o-rangs, you're just a little boy in a playsuit, crying for mommy and daddy! It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic. Oh, what the heck, I'll laugh anyway. HA HA HA HA HA HAA!” – Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker "All it takes is <em>one bad day</em> to reduce the <em>sanest man alive</em> to <em>lunacy</em>. <em>That's</em> how far the <em>world</em> is from where <em>I</em> am. Just <em>one bad day</em>. <em>You</em> had a <em>bad day</em> once, am I <em>right?</em>I <em>know</em> I am. I can <em>tell</em>. You had a <em>bad day</em> and everything <em>changed</em>. Why <em>else</em> would you dress up like a <em>flying rat?</em>" - Batman: The Killing Joke “Well, hello, beautiful. You must be Harvey's squeeze, hmm? And you <em>are</em> beautiful. You look nervous. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got 'em? Come here. Hey! Look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks... look at me! One day, they carve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She can't take it. I just want to see her smile again, hmm? I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So... I stick a razor in my mouth and do this... to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling!” – The Dark Knight "They could put me in a helicopter and fly me up into the air and line up the bodies head to toe on the ground in delightful geometric patterns like an endless June Taylor dancers routine—and it would never be enough. No, I don’t keep count. But you do. And I love you for it." - The Dark Knight Returns "Ernie, I welcome you with the right hand of friendship! <em>Aww</em>! But too bad the buzzer was in the left hand of deceit. Gotta watch that." - Harley Quinn "All kidding aside, Harl'! I just wanted to take some time and talk about where our relationship is goin. Y'see, over the past few weeks I've felt some changes coming over me since you entered my life. I've been reminded of what it's like to be part of a couple, to care for someone who cares for me. It's the first time in recent memory I've had those feelings [...] And I hate having those feelings! They're upsetting, confusing and worse, distracting me from getting my share of Gotham now that the gettin's good! /Sniff/! I will always treasure our days together, but sadly, inevitably, the time has come for us to part. Farewell, my sweet Harley Quinn. I will mourn you. <em>HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA</em>!" - Harley Quinn <!--spoiler--></span></div> <div style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://www.baddaystudio.com/MotivateJoker1.jpg" border="0"><!--center--></div>