Cheetos suck
Personally opinion. Strangely enough, while I'm here sitting and contemplating how much I dislike eating cheetos, I'm eating some cheeto puffs. Just because I don't like eating them, doesn't mean I shouldn't/can't eat them.
I just had a sudden craving for cheetos so me and my lack of willpower broke down to the commands of my body and got me some cheeto puffs. Cheeto puffs suck. >':
school courses
I have lots of homework this weekend. Kinda depressing...
Not to mention, this is just the beginning. Looking at my binders and textbooks- wow what a pile!- is making me feel sad and depressed cause I know, half way through this crap of a grade 11 school year the homework will have doubled, there will be projects served on the side, and the textbooks will spontaniously gain and become the weight of a small elephant determined to distort my backbone by the end of the school year (sooner if I'm lucky! I may be able to get out on some school work I get hospitalized).
Now, what a clever child I was to take a full schedule of academic classes. You'd expect a straight A student to know how freakin stupid that is but nooo, I just had to go and overacheive, or in this case, try to overachieve cause obviously this was not the best choice.
Block A: Biology 11
Block B: Chemistry 11
Block C: Honors Math 11
Block D: Social Studies 11 Online
Block E: Mandarin 11
Block F: Senior Planning 11
Block G: English 11
Block H: Buisness Computer Applications 11
Now don't you guys go and stalk me you, you silly pervy MAL-ers.
Despite the fact you guys don't know the name of my school, it still may be possible considering the frightening limits of technology today. But I trust you guys not to go all Jason the killer on me. Weird that I'd choose the killer who shares the same nickname as me. Maybe that says something about me? Ohh.
Anyway, luckily for me BCA (block H) is a relatively easy course. Or at least that's what the teacher said. Sadly, I have this thing where whenever I say something good about something or get my hopes up on something, I usually tend to be dissipointed or the good thing goes haywire and backfires on me. Strangly, that happens to me alot. Like if I'm telling my mom about how good I am in a subject and the next thing I know, it suddenly becomes my hardest subject. I'm like a walking Jinx record.
I don't even know why i'm taking two sciences. Well...I do. It involves my hopes of travelling around the world and saving medical bills cause I'm expecting I can become a genius doctor by the end of my chem and bio courses in grade 11 and 12. No way I'd go into the science career. Me and a scalpel, no way. You put me in an operation room, I'd faint and just cross your fingers that I don't fall into the patient's open body. God, that'd be awful. More likely, I'd just walk into the op. room then walk straight back out, freak out, run, then proceed to my plan of travelling the world. Anyway, back to the main topic. This dream is far far from a distant dream for me. Why? Because of 2 big fat reasons: (1) I have awful motion sickness. Being in a still care makes me awfully dizzy, that's how bad my m.s. is! and (2) Cold harsh reality has hit me and I now realize, after I have signed up for my 2 science course, I will not learn a lifetime of medical knowledge by the end of my grade 12 school year thus I will not be able to doctor myself on my hypothetical trip around the world. Oh poo.
Imma gonna go to sleep now. Nighty night my invisible readers. Pray for me and the completions of my math, social studies, senior planning, chemistry (project!), biology, and mandarin homework.
Love Buzz
I absolutely love it when people post comments in my blog. Makes me feel like I'm somebody who actually has something important to say- or at least something interesting enough that people can post comments for.
It gives me a wonderful feeling when I see there are comments on my journal entries. Yes, in total I only have two comments but Oh, how I love it. Like how the quote goes, "it's better to be loved then not have loved at all" Well, same thing here except you just replace the lovey stuff with getting comments on your journal entries, "It's better to have comments in your journals, then none at all you stupid loser" Joking. Course the populatrity of your journal does not equal how much people love you in and out of this nice little cyber world.
Oh, btw people who may (or may not?) be reading this entry, I have no expectations that you will be posting a comment on this entry. People usually tend to feel obligated to post comments after they read about how happy I get from such simple acts of typing but seriously, I don't want people to feel FORCED to post. That'll just make me sad so leave this sad little entry alone if you must. But of course, if you want to with like all the desire of your heart to post a nice little comment saying hi and how wonderful jasonbear is, please go right ahead. Who am I to stop a person from expressing their love and undying devotion toward me? That'd just be plain selfish (; Joking again. Lol, i'm just too funny aren't I?
Birthday
3 more days till my big sixteenth birthday and I must say, I'm not excited. No real reason why (I think), I guess I just outgrown my birthday. Or maybe I just no longer see any significance to this supposedly special day.
To be honest, I don't have many friends. I have one best friend who I don't think I deserve (I'm a real mean brat) and I have a couple of "school acquaintances" who I can chat to freely, hang out with in class, and stuff like that. But that's all they are, school acquaintances. I don't hang out with them much out of school, and I don't confide in them with all my deep dark secrets.
Birthdays sometimes depress me. I remember my birthday party in grade 6. I was pretty popular, if I may say so myself, in that grade. I held a birthday party and all my girlfriends came but barely any of the guys invited came. It was a serious slap in the face for me. Rejection and I are not good friends. I suppose from then on, I've been scarred and refuse to have any big birthday bashes unless i'm positive all the people invited will come. In grade 7 again I was pretty popular and I decided to invite loads of people who luckily all came. I was happy. But after my grade 7 year, I graduated from elementary schools, all my elementary school friends grew up and moved on from our previous "kid bonds" and I became a high school student. I'm rather a shy student and like I said before I don't do well with rejection. I know I shouldn't let the fear of being rejected control my life but I'm to scared to change, plus a little bit to lazy and too indifferent (to be honest). So I'm in my 10th grade now. I have aquiantences, a best friend, family, occasional pet dog (shared with another family), a loyal ex-neighbour, and that's about it. I'm not expecting a big birthday bash nor do I really think I want one. I'm obviously not popular this year, so I can't invite my aquiantences due to the fear of rejection (Plus most of them are girls, and inviting the few guys I know will just make the part genderly awkward). My sixteenth birthday will most likely consist of me, cake, bestfriend, and a family who's pitiful stares will burn and most likely scar my delicate (lol) back.
Through all that self-pity and lack of confidence, I'm not too bad. The big problem with my sixteenth birthday is this:
I'm more disappointed in what my family will think of me (sad social reject of a child) rather then having a fun time being 16.
Who am I to even say that my family will judge me? They're not bad people nor do they really seem like the type to judge. Well.. except for my 2nd older sister. I'm just scared that if I don't have a big birthday part with an equal number of popular looking boys and gals then my mom and my sister will be disappointed and me, and worse of all pity me or judge me by being a social reject. I don't care whether I have fun on my birthday or not, just please don't let my family be disappointed in me.
Wow, I can't believe I went through such a long long blabber to get to the main point: me being scared of disappointing my family. I really need to learn on how to get to the point.
Mentionable Characters
Since having an overpopulated 'Favorite Character' list makes the Profile look quite untidy and unattractive, I have decided to make a Mentionable Characters list. Basically this is a list with all the characters that I like, excluding those that are on my Favorite Characters list (found in profile). Those found on the list are my all time favorites. <3
Allen Walker- D.Gray-man
Kokera Kakizaki- Urooboe Uroboros! (Love how he looks like he's related to L, his gloves, and the fact that his style of fighting is crazy)
Nue- Air Gear (Very cute. Totally hot)
Baiken- "Tsuchikaze Kohei" Shishido- Vagabond (Great style- clothes)
Miyuki- Fire Candy (sucker for glasses)
Tatsuma Hiyuu- Tokyo Majin Gakuen Kenpucho Series (Very cute. Love his hoodie, the fact that he loves S.M. and his awesome awesome gloves + hair)
Dieter- Monster (Cute.)
Tripp- Vampire Kisses: Blood Relatives (in my POV, his style is to die for- not saying i would ever dress like that cause I know for a personal fact that I would never be able to pull it off but in my eyes, he has a ridiculously awesome wardrobe for a boy)
Responsibility
What I'm about to blab about in this blurb has no utter resemblance or relationship with anime or manga. This is going to be about a bittersweet coexistence called the relationship between Jasonbear and her mama.
I love my mom. That is a fact without a doubt. She is a wonderful person, and probably one of the nicest moms you'll ever meet. Selfless, trusting, lenient, respectful, all that good stuff. What isn't there to like. Well..one this is that with all this trust and respect it can lead a parent's child to be either (a) a responsible model child, (b) a screwed up baddie, (c) screwed up child with a model facade. There's probably more but i'm too lazy to continue. I for one fall into the lovely category of group C. Screwed up child with a model facade. Not exactly the best description of me but a pretty good general outline. I get good grades, I take out the garbage, I'm polite to strangers and guest (or more like not talkative enough to be insulting), and I haven't done any extreme pranks like setting cats on fire or breaking down my neighbours fence with my lawnmower. Generally, i'm a pretty good kid. Now for the problem. Behind my good student persona, i'm such a perverted little kid. Kind of a yaoi addict, lazy as hell, and at the verge to go blind because of all the time I spend on my computer. Not exactly an okatu but close enough.
So now here's the main conflict boys and girls. Recently I had some trouble with the dentist. Yup, the wretched dentist. Actually, I don't find the big jiff about dentists. It's not so bad. Half an hour stuck in a chair with utensils in your mouth. Like I said, not bad. The real problem is what happens when your teeth don't exactly take their bath everyday. Cavities. Uck. That word gives me the shivers. My more recent teeth checkup led me to find out about my awful unhygienic mouth. Not surprised. Brushing my teeth ain't exactly my favorite hobby but i'm not implying that my mouth is a liveground for cavities and yellow junk. Ew. Now after the checkup, and the fillings, I am stuck with an angry mom and mouth full of...now wait for it people...10 cavities. Yessiry bob. Fillings don't exactly kill me. I'm not going to go suicidal just because now half my teeth are fakes. Pft big deal. What's really killing me is that because of my stupid teeth, about 1.5k is down the drain. BYE COLLEGE. lol, exaggeration but you get the deal. Lots of money gone because I didn't bother to brush and floss my teeth. So on the way back to home from my dentist my mom is yelling at me about responsibility and money. One of the main points is me getting a job. Now see readers, I'm almost the big 1-6. She thinks I should get a job.
Now that I think about it, I probably should. It won't kill me but you try telling a otaku to give up their time watching anime and reading manga to go cook some burgers and fry some fries. Hah, good luck. Okay, wait i'm getting off the point. Never mind forget about me. I'm done ranting. I feel much better. I think i'm going to go and fill out a resume now. No i'm just being sarcastic but seriously, I feel better now. Wow, ranting really does help. I can't do this in my diary cause writing a lot makes me hand cramp. Hand cramps make me angry and grumpy which really doesn't fulfill the whole reason to rant- to help you feel better. Typing's AOK. No cramps here. I feel much better now. Now I can't really remember why I was so pissy about getting a job. Just my lazy ass self complaining unwanted complaints. Silly me. It's a friday. I should go party or something. See ya later non existent readers. ;) Have fun.