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Baman's Blog

June 10th, 2010
Finally it is time to answer what many of you no doubt have wondered and pondered about during many a sleepless nights; how to pronounce Baman.

The first mistake here is confusing the name with Batman, Banman, and similar.
The most striking difference in the pronunciation of these and Baman is the A.
Rather than uttering the As in bAmAn like "Æ", as you would in bAtmAn, the As are here pronounced like they would in Armour.
That is, AA as opposed to Æ.

Now let's try saying it out loud, B-AA-M-AA-N.
Now repeat that ten times every time you chant the litany of Good Taste in front of your Baman shrines, and before long, you will have mastered the fine art of pronouncing my glorious name, and will be ready to hail and salute my coming as the emperor of the world.
Posted by Baman | 06-10-10, 5:09 AM | 15 comments
January 8th, 2010
Anime Relations: Code Geass: Hangyaku no Lelouch, Code Geass: Hangyaku no Lelouch R2
Since this topic comes up so often, I might as well post a little rant here so I don't have to explain it all every time it's being discussed.


First of all, let's look at what CG tries to do and how well it does it.
Code Geass basically have elements of several different genres mixed into it.
Perhaps the most obvious is the apparent desire to reproduce Death Note's thriller/mystery aspect with some dude with a special power working in secrecy in pursuit of some goal.

Death Note was all about the protagonist working out schemes and plans to kill people whit his power while avoiding to reveal his identity. Okay, so the skulduggery did get a bit convoluted and silly at times, but the main attraction was how Light managed to carry out his goals while under the several restrictions of the Death Note rules.

In Code Geass, Lelouch's power is simply too powerful. It can only be used once per person, and can only be used if the target looks into one's eye, but how hard can that be? From there on, it can be used to make people carry out specific tasks at any time or even make them obedient slaves that carry out one's every command.
And then, finally, when the Geass suddenly becomes uncontrollable, and we hope to finally see a weakness and some interesting developments, all it does is influence one event before being covered by a contact lens and conveniently forgotten.

One begins to wonder why he could not simply use his Geass to infiltrate the Britannian Royal family and kill off Charles right off the bat, but no, he choose to start a long and dragged out rebellion as if in a childish attempt to gain the recognition of the father that ignored him.
So no, I don't see how this is similar to Death Note, other than being a terribly failed attempt at copying it's premise.


And then there is the war drama aspect. Is Geass a good war drama?
The most obvious thing here is likely the old "friends on opposing sides" cliché. Another typical example of this is Gundam SEED. In SEED, Athrun and Kira were childhood friends, and ended up on opposite sides due to Athrun being having a family and for some reason being a soldier on the one side while Kira was swept up on the opposite sides in the old Gundam style.

In Geass however, both Lelouch and Spinzaku share more or less the same ultimate goal, but for some reason, the latter inexplicably ends up becoming the test pilot for some advanced new supermecha. Why a random foreign auxiliary soldier with no actual mecha piloting experience would be chosen as the test pilot for such a important project in a empire where foreigners are discriminated upon is anyone's guess. However, despite the discrimination, Suzaku wants to change Britannia from the inside (Wouldn't being a politician perhaps have been a better idea?) rather than fight against it. More than likely, he could have been persuaded by his old friend Lelouch, had this friend been smart enough to reveal his identity to him, but of course, this does not happen, Sunrise NEEDS Lelouch and Suzaku to fight.

Until they suddenly don't need to anymore, and despite having caused the death of Suzaku's love interest, Lelouch suddenly gets his old friend back on the team towards the end. Suzaku's convictions suddenly weren't so strong after all were they? Brilliant character writing there, oh yes.

Then we have the case of the supposedly brilliant strategist Lelouch. Oh, so he is good at chess, well of course he must be a genius, right?
For some reason, Lelouch keeps antagonizing everyone. He hardly even tries to get his old friend to join him, he decide to fight against the already existing terrorist and guerrilla groups instead of allying with them like any sane strategist would, and he even kidnaps the Chinese empress and end up mired in a completely unessecary battle rather than simply supporting the already dissident faction against the current regime. He ends up fighting the regime and allying the rebels either way, of course, so for some reason, he must have felt some burning need to waste time, troops and resources by fighting them both first. Still, he's a genius, right?

He also show Zero (haha) aptitude for strategy by blowing up valuable strategic resources (as well as other guerrillas he should have allied himself with) just to take out a handful of measly enemy units. In the very beginning of the series, he also kills Clovis rather than turning him into a long term puppet like he does with countless other people later on, while failing to kill Suzaku on multiple occasions, even when he is clearly a threat. Some genius.

And then of course, you have his inability to make backup plans in case a certain white Knightmare shows up to ruin his day. At some point, he even makes a point out of spending a buttload of time talking to his sister just so that Suzaku in said mecha can get a chance at ruining the masterful kidnapping plan. Honestly, we can see these plot twists from miles away, how about writing properly and make the plot flow like it should rather than lag like a broken record whenever some contrived twist has been thrown in to create drama?

Then we have the mecha element. Okay, so the story takes place in a more or less present day earth setting with a little different backstory. And there's mecha. Everyone is using them. Why? Would it be that hard to at least try to explain? Oh, so there's some magical phlebotium here that somehow allows them to be constructed, but that still does not explain why they waste it on mecha rather than a actually useful weapon that isn't a several stories high machine that can be effortlessly raped by aircraft and a blind man can spot coming from miles away.
And the mecha aren't the worst part, suddenly there are flying battleships and floating castles that fire antimatter weapons too.

The technology progression is also quite ridiculous, as you see them go from using big cluncky mecha with Votoms-ish wheels to suddenly produce brokenly overpowered supermechas that assrape everything with beam spamming. And they can fly. Not that it is a big deal, as everything ends up flying in the end. Of course, how this abnormal technology progression occurs is never explained. And neither do we get any explanation why Lelouch does not simply wipe out all enemies with his antimatter beam of death when he clearly is able to do so. He could win the battle alone. If he didn't suddenly need to rescue his incompetent sister.

And then you have the question of supplies. How can a small scale terrorist organization that starts out by stealing enemy machines suddenly have enough resources to be able to fight the world's only superpower while still leave room for their incompetent leader to waste pilots and mecha in meaningless side battles against people that should have been his allies?


Finally, there is the school harem/romcom part. Thankfully, the most minor part, but for some reason, they insist on having more or less filler episodes with boobs, boobs, boobs and boobs. Now, I don't have anything against boobs, I like boobs in my anime, if there is a reason for it, like say, it is a hentai or a ecchi series whose whole point it fanservice. What I don't like is fanservice haphazardly thrown into a series that wasn't supposed to be about fanservice in the first place.

And when we're on the topic of fanservice, I do believe the protagonist's ridiculous theatricals to go under this. And let's not forget his Yandere shota "brother" that suddenly appears. Oh and a certain green haired girl whose only role is to laze around uselessly with alluring clothes while knowing everything but saying nothing. And while Kallen occasionally do stuff, I would still question how on earth a kid (even if she has huge knockers) happens to be such a splendid mecha pilot, and how her underdog terrorist organization even got the training required to use mecha anyways. The same question arise when Britannia's elite pilots for some reason include a amnesiac girl that's 12 or something. One would think the world's greatest superpower wouldn't need to resort to child soldiers, especially when any older and more experienced soldier would do the job much better, and without the emoness and melodrama. But hey, they need some more loli girls in it, don't they? At least some series like NGE try to excuse the use of child pilots in some way, but apparently, that was too much work for Sunrise this time.
Of course it doesn't help much that when you finally think the whole school farce is over, you get a almost unbearably idiotic repeat of the whole thing.

And then you have all the obvious flaws, like Charles' ridiculous and completely unforeseen NGE Instrumentality project ripoff, miles of plot armour, "battles" consisting of mook and redshirt armies doing nothing until the main characters appear to resolve the situation, Spinzaku dodging bullets while no one else does and basically acting like a broken balanced martial arts god, Kallen leaving her leader to die at the hands of the enemy, Lelouch traveling impossible distances in no time at all, a bunch of characters inexplicably surviving what should have been instant death, a bunch of seemingly important characters that get about a minute of screen time before dying or disappearing completely, characters that just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time no matter how ridiculously unlikely in order to induce drama, and even amnesia that conveniently disappear the moment it is no longer needed by the plot.
Really, the whole cast of characters are little more than plot devices in themselves.

Now, I complain about the realism a lot. Lack of realism is not a problem in itself, not when we are talking about a fictional universe. What is a problem is when said fictional universe breaks it's own "realism", which Code Geass does time and again.

All in all, Code Geass ends up being driven by it's own ridiculous plot devices and contrived twists.

Rather than writing a story that flows naturally along with characters that act like biological components to the story and seem to interact with it realistically, CG runs like a jumbled rollercoaster ride over poorly constructed tracks full of holes, and only really keep going because the cart goes so fucking fast that one doesn't notice the massive gaps in the track or that the girders are glued together by chewing gum.

You get vapid characters that display all sorts of ridiculous behavior including personality changes and making obviously retarded decisions simply to suit the plot in it's quest for shallow melodrama and flashy crap to throw at the viewers. And more Dei ex Machinis than you can shake a stick at.

Then it all finally ends on a ridiculous note with the protagonist suddenly deciding to become an hero, which laughably enough appears to lead the world to peace and unity. Really, pretty much any other ending would have been more clever and thought out, even the "It was all a dream" ones.

Without a doubt, the worst piece of animated pooh I have ever had the misfortune of watching (R2 most of all), worse than most other crappy series simply because Code Geass started out with a interesting concept and I actually had some hopes for it.

Rant over.

*Also, do note that due to the thoroughly pretentious and melodramatic air through the entire show, I had no choice but take the various failings as serious as the show tried to present them.
This would naturally be different if it was a clearly less serious and pretentious work from the start, like, say, TTGL.
Posted by Baman | 01-08-10, 10:59 AM | 87 comments
December 8th, 2009
In this day and age, the word "Blog" rings many bells (Though arguably most commonly medium sized brass ones) in people's heads, as opposed to previous days and ages, when it usually carried little meaning for anyone without a morbid fascination for Sauropod genitalia or sour milk.
But what are these "Blogs", where do they come from, how are their grandmothers doing and where are they going out this afternoon?
Join me in this riveting quest as I traverse wasted time and procrastination in search for the secret of the Blogs.

Blogs are usually trite creatures, deadly boring as they slither through the virtual bogs and swamplands of the internets in drab and dull colours while waiting for unsuspecting prey, primarily humans, to stumble upon their links.
Despite their ultimately mundane and unexciting nature, people are still drawn to them. The leading theory in the field states that this happens due to the Blogs abusing mental gaps in the human mind, leading them to assume that nothing that looks so boring can possible be that boring.

Ensnaring and trapping it's hapless prey, the Blog mercilessly siphon away at their vitality, stealing precious seconds, minutes or even hours from the life of their unsuspecting catch.

Devious as they are, Blogs can lurk anywhere (Though usually not in jars of strawberry jam. Other kinds of jam maybe, but not strawberry. We have yet to find the reason behind this.), and often trap bypassers with what appears to be alluring pictures, funny keywords or intriguing titles. Even if the prey feels enlightened or amused by the slithery creature, the result will be the same.
It should be noted though, that Blogs have evolved especially to fit today's environment, where bored prey willing to waste their precious lifetime is in ample supply (As opposed to the old days when young people preferred to spend their time dying in muddy fields, making large circles of stones or taking dumps in forests).
In a way, it can be said that the Blogs and their prey form a perfect symbiotic relationship, as some humans even keep Blogs as pets of sorts, saving their links and return to be entertained or enlightened, even at the expense of their own lifetime (Well, time at any rate).

There is much yet we do not know about Blogs, and many mysteries that may be solved with future research. Why are some Blogs so radically different from each other, and how have various blogs so perfectly adapted to various human groups? How have some Blogs evolved specifically to cover topics like clothes, games (Another life stealing creature closely related the the Blog), mammaries and even people's breakfast habits? The mind boggles.

I will continue to pursue the secrets of this mysterious creature, and I hope you will follow my journey into the mysterious world of the Blogs.
Posted by Baman | 12-08-09, 3:12 PM | 2 comments
September 24th, 2009
HR-2004-666-A - (Rt-2004-610)

I love reading things like this. The number only made it that much funnier.

I don't see the reason for all the fuss though. The dead guy wasn't likely to be needing his head. Alas, ye moralists.
Posted by Baman | 09-24-09, 10:54 AM | 5 comments
April 27th, 2007

Hello there blog. I don't like you >:(

Blogthis, blogthat, well how about you just run onto some highway and play a nice little game of blog and go fuckyourself? eh? That's a rather good idea i'd say? EH? EH? EHHHHEHHHHH???

CURSE YOU BLOG!!!

I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME!!!

YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!!

Posted by Baman | 04-27-07, 3:28 PM | 8 comments
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