emperortopaz's Blog

Back to emperortopaz's Blog

This is the Three-hundredth-ninety-fifth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

: Welcome back everyone! And as you see I'll be the announcer this week.

Hey, whatever happened to Koto?

: She suddenly had to leave for some reason. Something involving Aldra-sama.

*Meanwhile, up in the VIP room Aldra is sitting on Koto's back.*

: Ufufu... Seems you're really enjoying this punishment.

: Of course, Aldra-sama. Everyone would love such tender care.

: I knew that you'd make the perfect slave. But I'm not as tender a queen as you may think..

*Aldra lifts Koto's skirt and starts smacking her fat butt.*

: AH AH AH!

*She secretly enjoys it.*

: Ufufu, it's so much fun to tease my subjects. But for now I'm going to keep sitting on your back for the WHOLE fight.

: Sounds wonderful, I'm such a lucky minion!

*Back to the main stage.*

: So anyway, I wasn't paying attention to the battles so far. Can anyone clue me in?

You're not as good as Koto, now are you. Anyway, for the past few weeks I've been climbing the tournament ladder.

: Though to be fair it's more like Mortal Kombat as Topaz has to face everyone in the competition.

Exactly. And we've been her at the Forge Arena as I nearly got disqualified because I had trouble finding it. I manage to beat both Setsuna and Centorea, and last week I had to fight Annelotte. It was a rough battle, but I managed to come through. As you can see. This time I have to face Undyne.

: Sup? Pssst, who are we talking to again?

: Topaz has some sort of "blog" where he talks about Anime girls.

: I see then. Reminds me of what Alphys writes then. But why am I here? Besides to defeat the horrible HUMAN!

*Undyne points to Topaz.*

: You will rue the day that you came to face me!

: I still find it silly that Topaz is doing Undyne. She breaks so many common rules. What's next? Some Overwatch girl? Shield Knight? Some other obscure video game character?

: Hey, wasn't her game voted #1 in some poll or something?

To be fair I wouldn't take GameFAQs as a reasonable judge of gamers.

: Just look at all the stupid whiny Americans! And Topaz is only one of those things.

Shhh!

: Who cares about poles, unless they're the kind that I can impale Topaz with!

I disapprove. Besides, we have to do the blog first!

: Why's that?

I'm not sure, but it's been that way since the first blog this month.

: I think Topaz mentioned something about wanting the girl to hear his thoughts and they often go away after the battle.

: Well then, I guess I just won't have a blog! WAHAHA!

: Oh no! Undyne just launched a powerful psychological attack on Topaz! How will he get out of this one?

Why bother?

: Wait, that's not what you are supposed to say! She may be a troublemaker but we still need to do a girl this week!

True, but we obviously can't do one on Undyne.

: Wait, why's that?

Because you're obviously not AWESOME enough to deserve one.

: GRR! I'll show you JUST how awesome I am! Fine then, do your stupid blog! Bet I'll score ALL THE POINTS! Gwahaha!

: I am surprised that worked, but I'm not complaining...

Anyway, since this girl is raring for battle let me introduce her by saying...



: Pssst, does he always say something so odd?

: Usually the links are better, but that's what he gets for using a non-Anime character. I just hope that he doesn't have to put any silly anime relations still...

: What do you say we get this blog on. I'm getting a little hot under the collar. Must be the summer heat.

*Juri tugs at her neckline to get a breeze of wind down her shirt.*

Well then, let's get on with the show!

Head
Hair: Undyne has a really strange hair style. It's pulled back all the way, and looks nearly bald in front most of the time. In fact, at first one could mistake it for part of a plume on her helmet rather than hair. Basically she has her hair pulled back in a ponytail, thought the animation in battle does have a cool bouncy, waving effect. In a certain run through her “powered-up form”, which I'll explain later, makes her ponytail spikier. Her hair is also a bright red, which isn't too bad (that's one of the reasons I thought it was a plume at first). Luckily it doesn't look bad on her, and in battle due to the monochrome enemies it appears white. Undyne does receive some help with a certain date-form, as in Alphys's date she actually styles her hair a bit different. Some of her hair is freed, and she places it over her left eye in a nice feminine style. Though it's completely possible that she's wearing a wig (especially as it's black in that part rather than white). Still, her uniqueness isn't completely bad, and as an aquatic-looking creature having any hair is a surprise.
Grade: C

Eyes: Undyne does not have great eyes for my tastes. One of the first things you'll notice is that she has an eyepatch over her left eye. I don't mind it too much as it makes her seem intimidating, and when in her “improved form” it starts to shoot out lasers! It fits with her personality well, is what I'm saying. What's less interesting is the fact that she has reptilian-like eyes, meaning that she has yellow sclera and vertical pupils. They do not look great, and I really dislike different colored scleras (and she eventually gets black sclera as well). She also wears heavy red eyeshadow, though in battle it's not detailed. Problems aside Undyne's eye shape isn't too bad; she does have a strong tsurime and her thick eyebrows don't look bad either. Overall she does have some problems I have trouble getting over, so she doesn't score too well here.
Grade: C-

Face: Undyne also has a pretty poor taste, though I blame some of that being in a sprite-based game. As you should be able to tell, she has blue skin and fins on the sides of her heads (where ears usually are). They're also blue with red markings, if curious. She does not have a nose, which is a good thing for my tastes, and her mouth is really big. Well, maybe not “really” but it's still large due to having big, yellow, and pointed teeth. Unfortunately her mouth and teeth are a big problem. For one, her upper lip is defined but as a result her side-profile makes her goofy-looking. Her teeth also look buck in both the sprite and most of her battle images. I think that they were trying to make it look like her mouth is constantly a bit open, but it's not a design choice I'd approve of.
Fortunately, the fact that the speaking boxes have character images-and the fact that they're well-emoted-helps Undyne out quite a bit. She has a lot of various emotions that are seen through there. Some of my favorites include a big toothy grin and a laughing version that's really humorous to look at. She also has a more reserve cat mouth-like one too. Overall these help her a bit, but Undyne really doesn't do too well due to her unusual looks.
Grade: C+

Body
Build: Undyne doesn't do too well here either. When we first see her, her body is mainly hidden by the large suit of armor she's wearing. That said, when we see her in a more relaxed outfit it's surprising to see she's so thin. Not in a bad way or anything, but I was expecting her to be more muscular. I guess that's due to the sprites not showing too much detail as she seems to be strong. Also, Undyne doesn't have too much of a feminine figure either. Her hips are a bit wide, but other than that she's skinny. As a plus she does seem to be fairly tall, easily taller than any of her love interests by at least a head or so. I'll also add that she's a fish-like humanoid monster, and Monster bodies in Undertale are somewhat unusual but that's not too important.
Grade: C

Breasts: Undyne has a very slight curve to her upper body, but I imagine that she's more muscular than anything.
Grade: C

Clothes: Finally we get to something Undyne doesn't completely bomb out on! But really, she does have some cool and interesting outfits. We first see her, as said before, in a cool suit of armor. It's black and due to how the location we see her in is she's well-shadowed. In general it's a heart-pounding escape sequence and she's made out to be extremely intimidating. Her helmet also has a glowing eye. In battle it sort of reminds me of armor from a certain long-running shounen anime, which kinda makes sense if you think about it. When in her upgraded “Undying” form her armor becomes spikier (especially on the shoulders and gauntlets). It also gains a heart decoration on the torso and smaller ones on the hands. Undyne also can create and throw big blue spears, presumably made out of energy.
When not in armor Undyne wears a lot of casual outfits. Her main one consists of a black tank top and blue pants with red shoes. It's hard to tell the details of the clothing due to the sprite work, but a lot of games are like that. For a date she also wars a white turtleneck and a black presumably leather jacket. In the ending at the beach Undyne wears a yellow two-piece bikini though the bottom looks more like shorts than a bikini bottom. Overall not too much, but more than I'd expect from a sprite-based RPG like this.
Grade: B-

Mind
Personality: As said, when we first see Undyne she's extremely intimidating. This is helped by having other characters build her up for you. During the chase scene there's a lot of goofy moments as well, with a running joke where Undyne gets interrupted by Monster Kid. She's also a fairly difficult battle no matter what, as in the route where you kill things she becomes Undyne the Undying. Other than a silly pun with her name this form shows how determined she is and how much willpower she has. She's extremely hot-blooded as well, which is awesome. Undyne is also honorable, refusing to attack those on the phone and trying to make excuses for hunting the human. She's also extremely passionate about things, always throwing her whole self into something. She even gets egged into becoming the Human's friend through taunting. She also helps out other monsters as well, and is the captain of the Royal Guard. In general she's a cool battle-loving girl. As more information, she doesn't like hot or cold weather (she even has a warm fridge), she may dislike sweet or sugary foods and soda, and she seems to dislike puzzles but enjoys Papyrus's japes. There's also a funny part where she wonders if Anime is real as she was told it defines human history. Luckily you can assure her that it is.

: Why? Is anime NOT real?

I think it is.

: How can you be sure?

Besides all the girls around that are from anime, you mean? Let's see... Personally I've ridden in a mecha, rescued an alien princess from the clutches of a demon king, and seen gigantic swords and magical girls.

: That sounds AWESOME!

That it is. But overall Undyne is a really great, well-defined character that I wanted to blog about. While I probably forgot some things, she's a great battle-loving hot blooded girl with both humorous and caring sides.
Grade: A-

Libido: Undyne has pretty good libido, even if she's more innocent. She's too scared to give her meganekko girlfriend Alphys a note for a date, which leads to confusion. She then interrupts said date when Alphys thinks the main character wrote it instead. In the end scene they nearly kiss, but another character tells them not to kiss in front of the Human. Fortunately Undyne still gives Alphys a kiss in the good ending credits, showing both their love and that Undyne is in the lead. Undyne also goes on a date with the racially-blank Tumblr-gendered Human, giving the Human a lesson in cooking. The cooking becomes so hot and intense that Undyne's house burns down! Wait, perhaps I should have put that better... Oh, and because her house is on fire Undyne goes over to her friend Papyrus's house. While friends they don't seem to have any romantic feelings and are purely platonic.
Grade: B-

Age: Undyne's age is unknown. I'd say that she'd be in the late teens or twenties (considering she's the captain of the Royal Guard), but I can't be sure. Monster ages are strange, as are their romances, in this game. Apparently she also followed a currently-aged turtle on his adventures when she was younger.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 57
Average score: 6.3
Final Grade: C+

And that's the blog for this week!

: FINALLY! Now we can actually fight!

You don't have an opinion on the score?

: No. Why, is it really low or something?

: It's on the low side, yes.

: TOPAZ! Now I have another reason to destroy the likes of you! Now, prepare to take my spears!

*Undyne summons spears in various patterns on the ground, spiking them up. Topaz has to roll around, but he avoids them.*

: Looks like the battle has finally started, with Juri sending out a flurry of attacks!

*Crowd cheers.*

: Thank you for the cheering, I'm glad to be considered your champion!

You won't be the champion much longer, as I'll dethrone you! Then I'll face off with Aldra and get her to stop her plans!

: Don't think it will be as easy as you are thinking. Especially if I do THIS!

*Undyne swipes Topaz with a green-colored spear. He is unharmed, but he gains a green heart symbol on his chest.*

Oh no! My hitbox!

: Gwahahaha! Now I have you!

*Topaz attempts to move, but cannot.*

Now I'm stuck!

: She SLASHED you and now you can't move? Man, it's like that one jungle-based robot master in seven all over again! But I thought that green meant you were good at DODGE-ing!

Maybe, but I sure couldn't teach it!

: I blame Gohan being a poor student, perhaps...

: Seems like Topaz is in quite a pickle! Pun unintended. But without his high evasion skills how will he EVER be able to avoid Undyne's spears now?

: Ufufu... I have you now!

*She creates a floating spear and sends it flying in slow motion at Topaz.*

: Hopefully a plumber will leap at it and redirect it! (Hopefully I haven't been making too many references this blog...)

*As the spear is about to hit Topaz he remembers the girl from last time.*



*A shield is created just in time, knocking the spear away.*

: WHAT THE GARBAGE?!

: Looks like Topaz has finally used his Mimicry powers. As a result Undyne's powerful spear attack was blocked by his great shield!

: Seems that Topaz has a few more General abilities than I thought... Wait-that joke w-wasn't intentional!

Looks like I thwarted your attack, Undyne!

: That's right, I should just give up and-NOPE! Don't think that a simple SHIELD will get you through this! En GUARDE!

*Undyne surrounds Topaz with spears, attacking one by one. As a result of the floating shield seeming to move how he wants he's able to block all of them.*

That's not how you spell that.

: You must be joking if you think I CARE!

*Undyne starts using odd attacks, redirecting the spears at the last moment. Still, Topaz seems to be blocking them. His heart beats heavily, as if his demon form is trying to get out.*

I can block all day!

: Be careful! Remember that you were able to break through Annelotte's shield with Centorea's strength. Undyne might be the same!

Don't worry, I'll just leave the screen. That way I can get all the dragon's treasures!

: This isn't Shadowgate!

: Plus if you leave the arena you are disqualified.

Holy glasses, forgot that part! Guess I'd better think of a better idea-and QUICK!

*Undyne's attacks continue, though they seem slower for some reason. She pants as she speaks.*

: I'll... break through... this shield! Or my name is not UNDYNE!

*With a burst of power Undyne breaks through the sheild with a charge. However, at this moment Topaz's green-heart status runs out and he barely evades.*

Phew. That was a close one. I nearly got kabobed!

: I have a feeling that's not a real word. And don't be too careless, Undyne may be planning something!

: T-that's.. right... oof.

*She falls face-first to the ground.*

: What the?!

: HOW?! Did you see that folks? Topaz just defeated Undyne. I think. He didn't actually attack at all, but somehow she fell to the floor!

I imagine it's because of the Forge Arena. Aquatic bodies such as Undyne and Juri seemed to be sensitive to the blazing flames and molten metal.

: I was just thinking this land was fairly HOT.

: True. I'm sweating and I wasn't even fighting! Even my BUTT is sweaty!

: Too much information.

I'm sure SOME reader will enjoy that. But it looks like I won this one.

: Don't say that yet. This is a battle to the death, so there's no count down!

I remember Koto saying something like that. But even when the girl obviously can't fight more?

: I want to do something, but those are Aldra's rules. She even mentioned something like...


You know, that impression was spot-on...

: Mmmbbb-blkkk...

This is no time to be impressed, Undyne needs my help! But what do I have that can quench her thirst?!

: This is beginning to sound like sponsored content. But I doubt it as Topaz didn't bring home another bag of money.

: Looks like you only have a few more minutes left! What will you do, Topaz? Leave your opponent to die, or forfeit and save a life?

NEITHER!

*Topaz gets under Undyne's body and tries to pull her away on his back.*

I'll help her-URK! Back... breaking... words... difficult to get out-KYA!

*However, she seems to be too heavy and he falls to the ground. He is able to get out of under her and stand back up.*

What can I do?

: What about one of your many items?

I don't think a picture of lolis or a rabbit's foot will be much use, Ririchiyo. If only some sort of refreshment would fall from the sky!

*Suddenly a vending machine falls from the sky and into the arena. Everyone is shocked.*

: D-did that REALLY just happen?

I WISH ATTRACTIVE MEGANEKKOS FELL FROM THE SKY! No dice? Figured as much.

: Stop joking around and do something!

Fine then... Hmmm, let's see here.

: Why are you even taking so long?

Well, the Fresh Water is more economical but the Lemonade heals more overall...

: We don't have time to go shopping, Topaz. Just pick one!

Fine then!

*Topaz kicks the machine and a can comes out. He then pours it on Undyne.*

Wow, I'm lucky that this was water and not, say, coffee.

*Undyne coughs but picks herself up.*

: Just like the other human... Perhaps humans are not as cruel as I had expected.

: There are plenty of cruel humans, but Topaz certainly isn't one.

: And from those dishonorable rules it seems Aldra is a cruel one. Seems like I have a SPEAR to pick with her. But for now, it seems that our battle is over.

*Undyne hops down from the arena.*

: You can't, like, just GIVE UP like that!

: I'm not “giving up”. Topaz outlasted my attacks, and I don't want to be in this blasted place for one more minute.

*She leaves, only to be confronted by three other shadowy figures backstage.*

: Who are you two?

???: Our names are not important.

???2: All that matters is that you, like us, have a dislike for Aldra.

???3: We are going to strike after Topaz has weakened her in battle. Can we count on you?

: You mean get back at the one that made me fight in such a warm place, knowing I might faint? Then LEAVES me for dead? YEAH I'm going to want to face her!

*The four of them slink back to the shadows.*

: Congratulations, you've finally won the Colosseum matches for once!

Hurray! Though I do wonder how that vending machine came flying through...



I guess that's a matter for another day though. Looks like I'll finally be battling Aldra!

*In the VIP room*

: MENACE! Nothing you've done has gone right! Each of these “Honor blades” have fallen without Topaz even breaking a sweat or into his demon form. I mean sure, that Annelotte form did have a bit more power and I could feel his demon side trying to come out, but we need physical proof! And it's all YOUR fault!

*Aldra turns and points, but sees Airi standing next to her instead.*

: My apologies. *looks around.* Where did Menace go? I have to have a TALK with her.

: Is it like my punishment “talk”? Because it was enjoyable!

: Shut up, you SLAVE!

*Aldra kicks Koto in a sexy dominant fashion.*

: OHH!

*She secretly enjoys it.*

: Ah-HEM. It seems that Menace has left. She's right THERE!

*Airi points to the arena.*

: Hmmm, seems she's going to face Topaz herself. Fine, I'll let her mistakes slide if she makes him use his demon form.

*Back on the arena floor, where Topaz is surprised to see Menace.*

: What's this? Another competitor?

: I am not a competitor. But I have come in place of Aldra-sama.

You can't just change the prize like that.

: Do not worry. You shall face Aldra-sama, but first you shall have to get through ME!

: ANOTHER battle?! Man, if we're going to stay here I'll have to get some type of refreshment.

: Koto will be joining us again next time, and the battle is switching locations.

Not again!

: At least they're telling you ahead of time this time!

Fair point. Where is it?

: We shall face each other in the Terrain Arena. And we shall battle next week, as is natural for your blog.

Seems we've got a girl for next time. I'll be seeing you readers then!