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WARNING: BECAUSE OF REASONS I MUST TELL EVERYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 TO GET OUT OF MY BLOG! OBEY OR I’LL BE DEFENESTRATED! ALSO BE WARY OF WILD ROAMING SPOILERS! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

Welcome back. Last time I covered Miyuki Shiba from Mahouka. The word Oniisama was said often. I also was attacked by ice and “wind” but lived to tell the tale. Now it’s the time to cover the third girl in Black Hair Month.

: So why did we come to a bar to meet her?

So I could say a Spaniard, a Nipponese, and a Russian walked into a bar.

: Those jokes aren’t known in the US, don’t confuse your one reader.

: Context makes the joke easy to understand, don’t be a Spanish translator!

Well said, Mistress. Jokes aside she only accepted meeting us in a public place for security reasons. Sure, whatever.

Girl: Hey!

Huh?

Girl: Yo!

Eh?

Girl: Hm?

Ah!

: Mankind stands strong at the peak of evolution.

Are you...



...per chance?

: That is me.

: YOU! *stands up*

Rika!?

: What are you doing here? You should be helping Topaz! Or at least cheering Riri up because she got dumped again...

: Shilenshe! *hics*

: Have you been drinking, Rika?

: Maybes. *laughs, then shakes her head to straighten herself out* Anyway, YOU! *points at Akame*

: What do you want, familiar-sounding girl?

: How could you let the Yukari Tamura loli die? How could you dare to kill her in the anime first when RAN of all people survived his manga death? How could you not kill her in the manga but send her into a coma that is the same thing anyway? And why do fans hate her so much when she’s adorable and never does anything terrible?

: I-I don’t know what are you talking about...

: Of course, that’s because the world now hates Yukari Tamura girls! *hics* Just look at Hilda, pointing out in the previews how much the show mistreats her! And she’s not the only one! Rito has terrible chest focus, because no one got everyone is watching the show for the loli! Remon is barely on the show and gets left out of fanservice scenes when fans prefer the flat girl who gets crapped on for no reason! Violet made her show end in a poor mamocentric note when it’s about an awesome middle school flat girl! Koruri barely was in her show; at least that one had dozens of girls but still! Isami has little screentime despite being the main girl’s older sister!

Rika, calm down...

: I’m not done yet! *takes sip* Tsukushi got her glorious spats ignored and her cow udders focused on because J-Cup Staff! Tabane only gets to be mysterious and is left out of fanservice scenes, and Pixivpedia calls her a “nauseating existence” because of Yozora haters logic! Mimori is in a show with an annoying trap that sounds like that irritating but sweet-sounding Seryuu girl! Nui had a lame death and fans hate her but adore MAKO! Muromi-san doesn’t have a butt and her show has a terrible sea cow! Jibril has a gross NTR-praise scene ruining the awesome imoutocest, her only proper appearance in the specials was mamocentric, and she’s a masochist!

: Are you done yet?

: Just a bit more! *takes sip* Ringo is awesome yet somehow the lead can’t pick between her and an annoying dairy cow! Kanako is not seen much yet we deal with her annoying model friends a lot! Masuzu is a huge jerk! Mega Neptune Mark-II is in THE Anti-Zettai show! Great General of Darkness picks boogers and is really too young to be appealing, and is also in a show with an awful trap! Tenten is treated terrible even for Kishimoto female standards! Clariosa is cool but only in one episode! Miho was left out of S2 when Misaki the cow got a random cameo! And I probably missed one or two, but nearly all Yukari Tamura girls of the past 3 years or so got screwed out for no reason!

Yeah, you’ve made your point there... One I can’t really disagree with.

: That’s why I want revenge, Akame! *points at her once more* Your show is in fault! And you stole the KDEG of the Year contest with your outsider votes, you Draven!

: ...Zettai, if you don’t mind I’m taking Rika home.

That’ll be for the best, yeah.

: But I-

: Yo Akame, I’m really happy for you, I’ma let you finish, but Homura had one of the best anime movies of all time! *is dragged away*

: Rika, you aren’t in conditions to help fix Amagi Brilliant Park...*takes Rika away*

: What was that all about?

The end result of Japan not casting a good VA as a regular well-treated character of a great series in years.

: I don’t get it.

Me neither, she deserves better!

: I meant I don’t get what you just said *goes jitome*

: Slave, stop wasting time and do her blog!

Right! Akame, mind if I write about you?

: Not sure. What if the Empire finds out my secrets?

: Don’t worry, nobody reads Zettai’s blog. Sometimes it gets negative readership, because Zettai falls asleep writing it.

: That makes me feel a bit better. I guess you can... if you buy me meat.

Is that a euphemism for a drug?

: No, I really want meat.

Fine. Garçon, can you bring us three steaks? *a waiter takes note and leaves*

: Three steaks for me too!

: I guess since Topaz is out Chiaki can raid his fridge or something. *the waiter brings three steak plates*

Ah, thank y- *notices Akame is done* FAST!

: This was nothing! Can I have your plates?

Eh, sure. *hands over his steak, Katja too*

: Thanks. *devours them*

...Wow, you should’ve asked for a boar.

: Can I have a boar? *licks lips*

No!

: Boo. *pouts* But I guess you can write about me anyway.

Hooray!

: Why are these intros so needlessly long...?

Head

Hair
Akame has black hair. It’s also really long, reaching her knees. This is bad because it screws up an early buttshot, yet nothing blocks her freaking chest. Oddly this is only in the anime since the manga used a better “camera angle” to show her butt, once again showing White Fox is not a very good anime studio. She has long sidebangs like in a hime cut, but they look a bit weird. Sadly she doesn’t have a hime cut as she’s missing the blunt bangs; instead she has the generic “bunch of small bangs with a big bang on middle” ones a lot of anime girls do. She also has two big bangs in front of her two sidebangs, probably the reason they looked weird for me earlier. She occasionally puts it up in a low ponytail; it actually looks good on her. All in all Akame’s hair is pretty good, but could be better.
Grade: A

Eyes
Akame has red eyes, not surprising since her name means “Red Eyes” after all. Her sister is Kurome or “Black Eyes” even if they’re more dark grey. Amusingly Akame is one of the few main females whose hair and eye color don’t match if not the only one, but that’s fine since personally black hair and red eyes are an ideal match! The shape is a sharp tsurime; it looks great on her and her cool personality. Her pupils are cute as well. Pretty much the only way Akame’s eyes could be better is if she wore glasses! Well, there is a notable issue: She randomly gets black sclera in the last battle as part of a power-up, and while I’m not as bothered by that as Topaz it still felt a bit unnecessary; if you want to show she got stronger just make her hair spikier or something.
Grade: A

: Why are you named “Red Eyes” anyway?

Yeah, it reminds me of cartoon characters that are named after their jobs. If your name is Joe Pill, you’re doomed to be a doctor.

: Or a drug dealer.

: ...Why do you keep talking about drugs?

We’re trying to appeal to the gangsta crowd.

: Gangsta? If we’re going to deal with mafia I’m out.

Not that kind of gangster!

: Ah, good. My name is “Red Eyes” because the people who found me weren’t very creative.

: At least they didn’t call you “Ginko” for your silver hair.

: My hair is black.

: Totally the same thing.

Body

Build
Akame has measurements! Her height is 164 cm, a bit tall for my tastes but not too much. She is only 1 cm shorter than Tatsumi the lead, a thing that doesn’t help. Her three sizes are 81-56-83, so a bit bottom-heavy, cool. In fact bottom-heavy seems to define most of the cast as nearly all girls have hips 1-2 cm bigger than their breasts, with the assiest being Sheele at 86-55-88. Yes, they killed the assiest girl first; Japan really hates butts in case you haven’t noticed yet. There are only two top-heavy girls: Esdeath, who has a fairly reasonable 87-54-85, and Leone, who fucks everything up thanks to her horrible 90-57-86. As always a show runs straight into the 90HB thanks to one dumb apple-shaped girl spoiling the bunch. Again Japan really really hates butts. Not surprisingly Akame also run into problems thanks to this childish mentality as the anime adaptation was handled by White Fox, a manbaby studio, and thus her chest was bigger in the anime for no adequate reason. I mean, she’s not FLAT or anything in the manga, but looking at Leone or Esdeath or Sheele or Najenda it was clear that bustiness wasn’t Akame’s main selling point. She’s otherwise not bad at all, having a flat stomach and nice but not epic legs. Akame wishes the anime wasn’t handled by little kids, but she has a nice body otherwise.
Grade: B

Butt
Sadly not shown that much AND even less so in the anime that removes a nice early shot from her. The show is cool, but great at fair fanservice is not as seen by how they quickly killed the assiest girl. Considering the author also created legendary assman Yamato no doubt his creation must be feeling ashamed at his creator! Akame’s butt isn’t bad at least, but Yukie she is not sadly.
Grade: C-

: Yukie?

A girl from MajiKoi. She has a great ass and Momoyo wants it to grow. I, too, want your butt to grow large, Akame!

: That’s rather embarrassing...

Does that mean your butt is bare?

: What? No, I’m wearing spats. *gets up and lifts her skirt to show her spats derriere, making several customers choke on their food*

Whoa! *nosebleeds slightly*

: Bold, aren’t we?

: ...Come to think of it, I am trying to not stand out... *quickly sits down*

Don’t worry; I don’t think anyone looked at your face.

: That is a relief, I guess.

Clothes
Akame’s main costume is BLACK AND RED, just like her hair and eyes! The costume itself is good but not great though: A black dress with a red tie, a red belt, a red pouch, and red vambraces. Basically she emphasizes her chest while hiding her butt, what a surprise. She doesn’t have thighhighs or anything either sadly, but we do see her wear an apron over it. She has a few other costumes too: A white bikini she seems to use as underwear too, a red bikini from official art, her white and red uniform from the prequel WITH BLACK THIGHHIGHS, and a frilly dress from said prequel. Her best costume is actually her underwear from said prequel and some flashbacks: A black sports bra and matching black spats, a perfect combination! Sadly by the current times she switched to a light grey sports bra and matching panties, lame. So while not the best her clothes are still pretty good. Maybe if she wore a black and red apron only.
Grade: B

: An apron only... Sounds breezy.

But Tatsumi would love it! Girls cook for the guy they love wearing only an apron.

: That’s how I do it, too bad Chiaki doesn’t follow my lead.

: Hmmmm... Will try it once it’s not as cold.

Mind

Personality
Akame and her little sister Kurome were part of the children raised to be soldiers of the Empire that rules the world. Both Akame and Kurome were part of the top 7 children from their promotion, but they didn’t want siblings together so Kurome was quickly demoted even though the two sisters objected. Akame was obviously down, but she nevertheless would follow her missions and even befriended her teammates. At some point she got disappointed with the Empire from the constant deaths of her teammates and joined Night Raid, the rebels. That’s where she met Tatsumi the main character and befriended him. Ever since the two have fought many battles together, meeting once again Akame’s imouto Kurome but in opposite sides and approaching their goal: Defeating the Empire. No, there is no Darth Vader character, Esdeath sorta.

Personality-wise Akame is slightly kuudere, but not emotionless. In fact Tatsumi thinks she is because of her lack of reaction to their companions dying, but she’s just holding in because she has seen her allies die too many times. She ends crying in Tatsumi’s arms as a result, aww. She also strips him down after his first mission to make sure everything was fine and he didn’t have injuries. That’s also the first time Akame is shown smiling, how cute. Overall you can see Akame is serious, especially in battle, while also being warm and caring inside. Speaking of battle Akame uses an Imperial Weapon or super-awesome weapon of the past because progress is for dummies. Jokes aside her sword is named Murasame and not only is REALLY sharp but also inflicts a deadly poison on surviving targets. In spite of Poison being poor offensively she is a very effective fighter. She can also fend herself off unarmed fine, and she can avoid being detected by hiding her presence DBZ-style. In the prequel she has a different weapon, and in the anime she uses the Murasame’s hidden ability to make herself stronger and faster but also gives her horrible black sclera. And I can’t end the blog without mentioning, like the story says, Akame is a big eater and loves meat and other similar stuff like fish the most. I love hungry girls so that makes Akame cuter! But she stays in shape, Shounen logic of course. She’s also a good cook, a nice change from the typical “women can’t cook har har” overused gag today. All in all Akame is good at the important things, not flawless but quite awesome in general.
Grade: A-

Libido
Sadly, Akame doesn’t have a lot of libido. She is casual enough to strip into a swimsuit in front of Tatsumi or strip him down to look for injuries, but also gets a bit annoyed at an X-Ray Goggles Imperial Weapon. The main problem is she doesn’t have a lot of romance focus, since despite her main heroine status the romance plot goes mostly to Mine and Esdeath. Mostly Mine really, Esdeath has a one-sided crush on Tatsumi; the author better doesn’t force him with her because of his bias preference to busty dommy older sister girls, no offense to fans of these. Still, Akame lacks enough scenes to get a good reading on this and it shows.
Grade: C

: Hey, I like busty girls! But not dommy, no one outdoes the Empress.

: Hey, Zettai, is this little girl related to Esdeath?

She’s no tree, but she causes me plenty of wood.

: ...What?

Age
Unknown, somewhat unfortunately. Officially 1X years old. I assume she’s about the same age as main guy Tatsumi to balance loli Mine and Oneesan Esdeath, but who knows. She’s also an older sister herself, which isn’t too bad but doesn’t help with perceptions. So I’m scoring her with a bit of wariness.
Grade: B

Voice
Sora Amamiya has a nice voice for Akame, not too serious or too cute. The only issue if anything is she’s a fairly minor VA with no other roles I favor; nothing wrong with that, but when you’re starring in the same show as Yukari Tamura, Mamiko Noto, and Kana Hanazawa it kinda leaves you overshadowed. Still, that’s more of a footnote if anything.
Grade: B

Total: 73 (B)

: This score isn’t that great...

Well, it’s not bad either. Even if you lose to Saraswati by one point.

: And you can do much worse than Saraswati.

Oh yes, you can.

: Well, I guess if you don’t want me to get rid of an evildoer I will be going.

What about the bill?

: I didn’t ask for duck! *leaves*

: That will be 40.80€, sir.

What, are you crazy?

: I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested!

...OK, fine then. *pays*

: Hah! *gets a LINE message* Oh, Chiaki says she’s coming back.

About time, silly drunken Rika...

: She also asks me to remind you of the hint for next week’s blog.

So responsible. Well, next week’s girl has big GUNS.

: Wait, I thought she had big GRAPES instead.

That was the original plan, but I changed mind at the last second. The blog goes up in the fourth anniversary of the day Topaz and I became friends, so I thought doing a girl he likes was the least I could do to homage that.

: And meanwhile he does your second least favorite Cure from your least favorite season.

That’s just how plot happens, so I don’t mind. Besides, my homage blog is close!

: You really are looking forward to this, huh... Idiot.