emperortopaz's Blog

Back to emperortopaz's Blog

This is the Three-hundredth-fourteenth week of using the "Perfect Anime Girl Sheet". Notice: This Blog may contain Unmarked Spoilers.

*Ririchiyo and Rika are relaxing once again in Topaz's living room. Suddenly Kimiko bursts in, a phone on her shoulder.*

: GUESS WHAT!

: If you're going to say you can save a ton of money...

: No. Plus I already used that joke. My Touhou contacts have finally found Topaz!

& : WHAAAAATTTTT????

: Where is he?

: Uh huh. Yeah. Where is he? *she pauses for the other caller to finish.* He's in the Land of the Dead. *to caller* Wait, really?

*Riri looks concerned while Rika is annoyed.*

: Don't worry, Ririchiyo. Topaz is still alive. He just needs us to go rescue him first! *to caller* And thanks for the news, I'll be sure to keep in touch. *hangs up phone*

: This sounds complicated.

: It isn't. All it will take is a simple teleportation spell. Their Land of the Dead seems to have a lot of leeway.

: Must be a revolving door...

: Wait. Then, if it's so easy to get into why didn't you find him when you searched?

: I can't go to the Land of the Dead. They're making a special exception for the occasion.

: *irritated* And just what did you do to cause the Land of the Dead to kick you out?

: I might have... sort of... Stalked Komachi...

*Rika sighs and facepalms.*

: You'd understand if you saw her! Those great perfect orbs, as if sculped by the heavens themselves...

*Rika kicks Kimiko in the shin.*

: Enough of your dumb fantasies! Is there anywhere else you're banned from going? For future reference, of course.

: I can't go to the underground hot springs any more...

*She remembers the reasons why.*


: Hey, let me guess. It involves breasts in some way.

: Sort of, in a way.

: Pervert...

: That's fine, I just want to find Topaz. Er, because I want to scold him for his thoughtless behavior! (I can't tell them the real reason...)

: It might take a week to get there, or at least until the end of the blog.

: Well then, let's hope that he starts talking about a girl soon!

===Meanwhile===

*In the Land of the Dead, Topaz approaches a desk with a chair rocking back and forth. The chair is facing away from him, and the girl in the chair begins to speak.*

???: So you're the still-living person who arrived in Komachi's boat...

That I am, they call me...

*The girl turns the chair in an epic fashion.*

: Do you think that I, the Yama of this realm, do not know all that pass through it? You're EmperorTopaz, blogger of girls.

Sounds like I'm popular down here. Must be Aya's articles.

: Do not take my power of the Yama lightly. In order for you to leave, I must first judge you.

What a coincidence, I could judge you right back.

: W-what? You do not have such powers!

Well, not to the amount that you have. My numbers are likely more arbritrary, but I'm sure you'd score well.

: Hmmm, although your blog is mostly cosmetic, I cannot say I am not curious to hear your thoughs. Please entertain me. This is a good deed you can do right now.

Well then, I hope it won't send me to hell but-

: I assure you, nothing you will say will change your stay or leave here. My answer will be unchanged.

What? You've already decided what to do with me?

: I have. After years of reviewing I've gotten quite fast at it. Do not think I am sloppy though, I have weighed the options clearly. I am just curious as to what one such as yourself thinks of me.

Well then, it seems that...



(Note: I may be using fanon/personal opinions about Touhou characters)

Also, I'd like to add that her name has many translations. These include "Shikieiki", though it should be two words, and "Sikieiki", as she was first translated as. Japanese can be complex sometimes. So which would you prefer?

: Call me by my title: Yamaxanadu.

That sounds like a long and complicated name. I'll just call you Shiki.

: *sigh* I suppose I did know that you were lazy... I have not qualms with it, though.

Well then, let's get on with the blog!

Head
Hair: Shiki has greenish-blue hair, being more green than blue. It's a cool color, and one that's not too common. Speaking of not too common, she has about two different hair lengths in that the hair on the right side of her head goes past her shoulder while the left side is cut short. The left is nearly boyish as well, showing her ear, but not on the right. It's hard to tell exactly how long her hair is, but in the manga she seems to just be a long side-bang. Speaking of bangs Shiki's are pretty nice. I'm not too fond of the part in the middle though, she deserves a true hime cut rather than two parathesis.
Of course, we can't forget about one of Shiki's most notable features: her hat. Shiki's hat is one of the most ornate and fanciest hats in all of Gensokyo. It looks like a crown, having gold decorations and crown "tips" around a blue fabric. It also has a blue belt around a white cloth. Finally, she has a red-and-white ribbon, with the right being red on top and white on bottom while her left is the opposite. I really like her hat.
Grade: B+

Eyes: Unlike Komachi last week, Shiki has not been in any fighting games. As a result we're mainly stuck with the main game and some manga moments (having a Touhou character get forced to use their game is not a good thing). She doesn't have special eyes, and about the only big thing is that her eye color is a bluish and looks somewhat similar to her hair.
Grade: B-

Face: Like with eyes we don't have a great source for Shiki's face. At least she faces forward, which is sort of special compared to other characters. As with most Touhou characters she does have fairy small features, though it's possible that Shiki is somewhat pale (at least to me). One notable thing is that she'll keep a patient smile when scolding people, unlike some fan sources where she's quick to anger.
Grade: B-

Body
Build: Like a lot of Touhou characters, Shiki doesn't have a set way for people to draw her. Shiki herself may be one of the biggest differences. You see, a lot of the time she's portrayed as a short girl, and that's the way I see her as well. However, this is a product of sprite limitations (her hat takes up some of the area) as she seems to be as tall as Komachi. Considering Komachi is quite tall I was surprised by this, even going against canon to think of Shiki as still being a short girl. Nothing wrong with lolis, after all. I like the extra contrast. Her height also appears a lot shorter in the Grimore of Marisa as well. Of course, either way we don't have much to go on. She does seem somewhat stocky, but I blame that on a possibly thick outfit. For some reason, Shiki DOES have one unique feature in fanart: she's a leg girl. I'm sure at least one of my friends will appreciate that...
Grade: C+

: Hmmm... Seems that writing this blog is difficult.

Well, I don't have much to go on. Perhaps if you show me your body...

: *Blushes and covers herself* W-WHAT? HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING!

I don't mean you have to get naked or anything. I meant you should get out from behind that desk. I can't see your lower half, and your height could be hidden by a high seat in that chair.

: High... chair... Are you calling me an INFANT?

No no no. Even if I think you're short you're not THAT bad. I just mean that it's hard to get your sitting height from this position. And if you're not coming out, I'll just look back there and-

*Shiki holds out her Rod of Remorse to prevent him from going further.*

: That's enough. No one is allowed at this seat other than ME! Blog or not!

Fine then. I guess it'll be a great mystery like with Patchouli's bust size.

: Oh, I know that.

REALLY?

: Not telling you though.

Dawwwww....

: Just get back to the blog.

Breasts: B-but I don't want to talk here next. I plead the fifth!

*Topaz get struck with the Rod of Remorse.*

: Stop that this instant! There's no reason for you to stop the blog here. Do your job!

*Topaz sighs* I suppose it would be unfair to skip this. Alright. Again, this area is a flexible. However, it's pretty given that she has a modest if not flat chest. This is how I see it, and it plays up the contrast between her and Komachi well. That said it's also gone so far as to make Shiki jealous of Komachi and wanting large breasts herself. However, this is more the fanon personality rather than the more accurate one. It's hard to tell officially, but I imagine she has a flat chest.
Grade: D

So how was that?

: A bit more depressing hearing about it from you, but I have no problems with my chest size. You may continue with the blog.

Clothes: Despite not having a lot of outfits I do like Shiki's. It's a military-like dark blue vest with red buttons and gold decor on the shoulders over a white shirt and a short black skirt. She also has ribbons on her forearms, which are red and white. Her alternate outfit makes her hat and dress be red while her white shirt is purple. She also always carries the Rod of Remorse with her as well, which she uses to punish people by writing their sins on them. She also has a cleansed crystal mirror, which reflects past deeds and is tiring to use, but it's not shown in her sprites. Hers takes the form of a hand mirror. Finally, as said before, Shiki is a leg girl. As a result of this, or maybe her short skirt, she became known to have zettai ryouki. No, not the other blogger, I mean she had thighhigh socks. It's strange though, considering that after that her OFFICIAL leg wear was shown and she seems to have extremely low socks as to mock that idea (though it does show off more of her legs, so who knows).
Grade: B+

Mind
Personality: Shiki is the Yama in charge of Gensokyo. For those who don't know, a Yama is the person who judges the deceased on where they go after death. As a result, she can see into a persons past deeds and scolds them if they misbehave. Her lectures are so well-known that Yukari, probably the strongest character in Gensokyo, is afraid of Shiki. This may just be because she's avoiding the lectures, but still. However, she's just trying to keep people from going to hell, rather than sending them for no reason like Fanon tends to think. If anything her motto of "Hell does not exist to punish sinners. Hell exists to ensure that no-one sins." is more supportive of the opposite. She also doesn't discriminate between youkai and humans, telling both Reimu and Yuuka (who is a youkai) to do their jobs better. Shiki does preach a lot to the characters, but to be fair they're not exactly the most righteous and she's doing it with patience. Most of the time, at least. She's a bit harsher with Komachi, but this is more a case of a boss getting mad at a lazy employee rather than Shiki being jealous of Komachi's chest (or anything else the fanon could come up with).
Shiki's ability is to establish something as good or bad (basicaly black and white). While this doesn't seem like a powerful ability, do realize that you can't overturn her opinion. Even a popular "OBJECTION" would have no effect against this judge! She's also the final boss as well, so you can imagine she's pretty powerful. In the Touhoumon games her "Judgement" is the only OHKO attack in the game and only she can learn it. She's also a Steel/Psychic type, though sadly she doesn't have a mega evolution (this was in Gen III). Overall I really like Shiki. She's one of my top Touhou characters still, and in general I like "lawful" girls like her. It would help if fanon stopped taking her lectures to the extreme. Though I do like her "Danzai Yamaxanadu" fan video, but that could be because her song (Fate of Sixty Years) is so good. Also, while I haven't heard anyone else think of it, her odd choice of Kanji for her name makes me think of chuunibyous for some reason.
Grade: A

Libido: Like with Komachi last week, there's no official sources for her libido. Probably the closest to her would be Komachi, hence one of the reasons I pair the two. To be fair Shiki is the tsundere one in their relationship, but I don't hold it against her.
Grade: C

Age: As a yama Shiki is immortal, and her actual age is unknown. Due to her size she's sometimes portrayed as a child, but I just assume she's sort (as said before). Komachi also says that she was originally a jizou statue who came to life after receiving enough faith.
Grade: B

Total Grades: 64
Average score: 7.1
Final Grade: B-

And that's your blog. What do you think about it?

: I did enjoy it, though I'm surprised that I scored the same as my lazy employee. How did that happen?

Well, let's just say that, while you're one of my favorites, there are certain areas where you're lacking. Komachi, on the other hand, has those but I'm not as big a fan of hers in other places.

: I see. Well, it's time to make my judgement... Topaz, you are-

*Topaz gulps, but Shiki's door swings open.*

???: Let Topaz go!

: Who keeps me from my business!

*Riri, Rika, and Kimiko all walk forward.*

: See, I told you we'd make it in time.

: That you did, though no thanks to Kimiko...

*Kimiko turns towards her, showing a red hand-print mark on her face.*

: Hey, it's not my fault Komachi was just sleeping there...

: You were staring at her! No wonder she slapped you!

: But....

: CALM DOWN EVERYONE!

*The three girls stare at Shiki, who clangs her Rod on the desk.*

: I'm not a fan of monkeying around in my room. If you have something to say, tell me then leave. I have a judgement to give.

: Alright then, please let us take Topaz back!

: Oh, you're vouching for him? Perhaps you'd like to remind me of his past deeds, and I'll see if they sway my opinion. After all, I do know you're a pervert...

: (P-pervert? What was Topaz doing with her) Uhm, He stopped Kanon, Tsukiko, and Hayate just this year. The latter was also a worldwide problem, from what I heard.

: Before that he defeated Maho who was attacking in a giant ship. He also defeated her minions of Iria and Chinatsu.

: Even before that he beat Dokuro-chan, Hinagiku, Quattro, and Tae as well as the space loli Riro who was planning on stealing all glasses for herself.

: Weren't all those battles BECAUSE he was doing his job?

Er... uhm...

: No matter, your words refused to change my opinion. Topaz, for entering the Realm of the Dead without dying, I sentence you to... Leave.

NOOO! Wait, what?

: You can just go. I knew about all these things before thanks to my mirror. Hearing your assistants talk so highly of you is commendable, though. I can't fault you for doing your job either.

: Topaz is.. free?

*She starts to tear up and hugs Topaz, quickly joined by the other two.*

: Wow, it's like she was able to read our minds!

*Kimiko coughs and blushes a bit.*

: Something wrong?

: I-I'm just so relieved that Empry is finally saved! Thank you, Yama!

: I approve of you upholding my verdict. BUT! I will have you return with the help of a shikikami. I can't have you walking back and forth through the threshold of death at will.

*Komachi peeks her head out of the doorway.*

: I don't know who you're getting to do it, but do remember that I'm not a valid target.

*Kimiko feels glares from Komachi.*

: That's fine, I luckily have a loaned one from another Yama. I hope you don't mind.

As long as I'll be alive, I don't mind!

: Good! Especially as I want to see at least one more good deed by the end of the year.

I'm sure that I'll find a way.

*A blue haired kimono girl flies through the door on an oar. She's wearing a pink kimono.

: You wanted me, Shiki Eiki?

: That I did, Botan. I want you to escort these four out of here. Maybe watch over them a bit, to make sure nothing funny happens.

: *salutes* On it!

*Botan escorts the four of them out. As they leave Komachi rushes in.*

: What is it? Looking for another excuse to get out of work?

: No, it's THIS!

*Komachi pulls an envelope out of her cleavage, which Shiki opens and reads. Her mouth opens in shock.*

: WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOW ME EARLIER!

: You know I don't like that Kimiko girl!

: But still, I can't believe that remnants of that book were somehow sensed in this area! They must have been brought here by some sort of spirit. Close down the doors, make sure it doesn't escape!

: ON IT!

*Topaz and others are outside of the castle as the portcullus shuts behind them.*

Well, that was a close one. Everyone out?

: Yeah.

: We're all here.

: I wonder what happened to make them close it down. That shouldn't happen.

I'm sure they just want their privacy...

*Suddenly a shooting pain is sensed in Topaz's body. He grasps his chest and falls to one knee.*

: ARE YOU ALRIGHT?

*She goes and checks.*

Y-yeah, I'm fine. I just probably have a bit of a headache from staying in there so long...

*He stands up and continues, unaware at the remnants stuck in his chest pulse slightly with demonic power...*