Nov 13, 2014 12:41 AM
ZettaiBlog 96: The Sadistic Queen Miko Confronts The REAL Butt Dragon.
Anime Relations:
High School DxD, High School DxD OVA, High School DxD Specials, High School DxD New
WARNING: BECAUSE OF REASONS I MUST TELL EVERYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 TO GET OUT OF MY BLOG! OBEY OR I’LL BE DEFENESTRATED! ALSO BE WARY OF WILD ROAMING SPOILERS! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!
Welcome back. Last week we got a strange illness that made us see hippos everywhere. Then Takane and Sakura had an epic sexy wrestling match and we got better. *waits* No one is gonna snark at me? *notices no other girls are around* Chiaki? Mistress? Ruri? ...Lacus?
(...)
Looks like no one is around and I checked the whole ship... Wait, what’s that? *spots a letter lying on the floor* This wasn’t here before... *reads it* Someone had kidnapped all the girls and is waiting for me in a nearby house! I’m going! *goes*
Voice: I’ve been waiting for you, Zettai...
Hinagiku, I already faced you. Get out from that unlit area.
Voice: Ara ara, I’m not her. *giggles and shows herself* I’m...
Ack, a DxD character! Run for the hills, or rather for the butte!
: Won’t you give me a chance to explain myself?
No!
: Oh my, that’s a problem. Then I might have to do this... *transforms*
Just because I like mikos I won’t stop running for the buttes!
: You don’t need to go to the buttes, the buttes will go to you! *moons Zettai* HOLEY LIGHTNING! *fires a beam of energy out of her ass, zapping Zettai for an unknown amount of HP*
That’s not what moonlighting means... *somehow liked it, but falls to the ground*
: Ufufu♥ *sits her Oneesama ass on Zettai* Will you now be a good guy and listen?
...Fine.
: Figured this would make you listen, though it’s the first time I met someone who favors female asses. *giggles* Zettai, I have caught all your female companions!
WHAT? How?
: A hidden magical warp in front of a cookie jar with “Free cookies” written on it.
Damn it, my team’s only weakness! *hits the ground with his fist in frustration*
: Don’t worry, I don’t plan to hurt them... much. *giggles*
B-But where are they?
: Oh, you want to see them?
Yeah.
: Follow me! *gets up and leads Zettai to another room, where the female cast is all lying in a gigantic bed in their underwear*
: Zettai, you came!
: He probably did, from this sexy sight. *smirks*
G-Girls...!
: Akeno has some sort of magical tech not letting anyone but her leave this bed!
: And on top of that she must’ve done something to Vita and Signum, since I can’t see them!
: If you’re looking for AltEisen and Angelg, they left sometime after Kotori’s blog.
: I think they said something like “Finales are a funny thing” and left...
: Seems they’re still full of energy... I’ll go play with one of them♥. *gets in and starts tickling Cynthia*
: AHAHAHAHA! PLEASE STOP! NO, NOT THE FEET! PAUSE, PAAAAUSE! *squirms and enjoys herself a lot the whole time*
: This was fun♥. *gets out*
You just picked Cynthia because Topaz started her show.
: Maybe, ufufu♥. If you write a blog about me I’ll free them.
For real?
: For real.
Head
Hair
Akeno has black hair. Personally this is her best trait, since it’s my favorite color and it fits her personality and miko-ness very well. Sadly she has a ponytail, but it must be one of the best ponytails ever: It’s long, but not enough to cover her butt in spite of the show she’s from, and in most images her ponytail looks very lively and dynamic, I’m not sure how to describe it but they really like to emphasize the movement of her hair. It looks better than if her ponytail just stuck behind her for sure. She holds it with an orange ribbon and has a double ahoge of sorts framing her ponytail, it’s a little strange but it works well for her. The few times we can see it down her hair still looks pretty nice, the usual for these cases. Sadly her bangs are pretty standard, but they frame her face well so not too bad. In short go Akeno’s long hair!
Grade: A
: Ara, like this? *spins and lets her ponytail dance*
Yes, like that! *approves*
: It’s funny to find a man with non-standard tastes...
Eyes
Almost on par with Akeno’s hair her eyes are great, being a lovely dark-ish pink color. Considering the main girl and the rival one have blue and green eyes this is a real nice surprise. The shape is a tsurime, though not a strong one especially when compared to Rias. It still looks good on her, and like similar girls she’s fond of half-closing her eyes to look sexier! Sadly I don’t think she wears glasses, even though there’s a group of girls with glasses and Rias herself wears glasses when she needs to get pensive. Shame!
Grade: A
: Koneko mentioned opposing a blogger who liked glasses, was it you?
No, that was Topaz. Who would’ve liked talking about you much more than I do no doubt.
: All in due time. *giggles* For now I’ll do this! *puts on thick glasses*
Good job! *thumbs up*
: Ufufu♥.
Body
Build
Guess there’s no avoiding this, huh? Ah, well. Akeno has measurements, but given the show they are less than stellar. Both her height and weight are fine, 168 cm and 54 kg respectively. 168 cm is tall but fits her character well so no complaints. Well, I do have one but not the kind you expect: Despite being a dommy TDB and the oldest girl in the main cast she’s not the tallest girl, in fact she’s not even taller than the appalling main guy if just by 2 cms. That’s how much Rias has on him actually, making her the tallest girl. While Rias is also a dommy TDB senpai she’s not as focused on this as Akeno is, so this choice is feels like the author was winging things out. Speaking of Akeno has wings, but while she has devil wings as other devils have her real ones are fallen angel wings, which are like regular wings but black. Or something, I got lost with the whole wing business. She feels ashamed of them due to plot reasons, but they’re pretty! Her three sizes are sadly mega-lopsided: 102/60/89. Yes, she has breasts THIRTEEN cms bigger than her hips, which sadly isn’t even in the top 3 biggest breast-favoring gaps I’ve seen. Her chest also goes over 100 cm while her hips can’t even break the 90HB, and the show in general only barely crosses it with Rias having 90 cm hips yet her chest is also a massive 99 cm. The sad part is the other girls can be fairer, like Xenovia with 87/58/88 or Asia with 78/55/81, which means these two are like this solely to emphasize the fact their breasts are HUGE.
That makes this a good moment to have my Paragraph of Hate! As always this is the one part you can skip. In case all my jabs all over the blog and previous blogs and any other place weren’t clear: I really, really don’t like DxD. You may remember way back in June I covered Nymph from Sora no Otoshimono and derided her franchise for being mamocentric. Well, DxD makes SnO look like the epic tiny Neuroi episode of Strike Witches. Most of it comes from its main character, Issei, one of my most loathed and scorned anime characters of all time. He’s like all the negative stereotypes and actual bad habits of harem leads rolled into one, but worse. Guy is an overly generic pervert who cares about big breasts and literally nothing else except the few times TNK forgets and makes him act like an adult, with the worst scene being the one where villains will cut everything in the world in half and he only cares about the girls getting half as small breasts. That’s it. Nothing about their butts, or their height, or his penis getting half as small, or anything else. I would say his brain was already reduced to half, but that’s impossible as 0 between anything always gives 0. Somehow despite this he is ALSO the kind of sex-fearing lead that freaks out with nudity and the like and thus has barely got progress with Rias in the nearly 20 volumes the novels have! Oh, and Issei is also an absolute moron who only wins fights because he has an OPPAI dragon, I mean an OP dragon. Sadly in his case both are valid. And other than being generically perverted and generically asexual at once and also an overpowered moron he has nothing else to his personality. Well, he has some backstory and stuff, but it’s nothing special and it comes as an excuse of why he’s this contradictory. It doesn’t work. And yet this dumbass gets lots of love from the fanbase, never mind the more likable Rito from TLR only gets lots of hate for example, and is actually the second most popular DxD character with over 1600 favorites! He’s in the Top 300 and beats infinitely more likable male leads like Kazehaya, Wild Tiger, Shiroe, Haru Yoshida, Alibaba, Ken’ichi Shirahama and many others. He might be my least favorite harem lead ever and in my Top 5 worst male characters of all time, which is saying something.
I could also rant about all the awful mamocentric things the show in general does, but personally Topaz covered it pretty well when he did Koneko’s blog, so I just focused on Issei as he is honestly the worst part of the show. Not that being by TNK made it favors. As for Akeno her body is nice aside from her bust size woes, which are hardly exclusive to her but still lower score. At least her loli-self is cute and doesn’t have cow udders like another similar girl in another poor recent anime.
Grade: B-
: You... don’t... like... big... breasts...?
Exactly.
: But...That’s...Well...Err... *takes a sip of water* Sorry, I didn’t think anyone like that existed.
: Once we get out of here I am SO going to Fujioka Zettai for using the same joke three times.
: For this show three aren’t enough!
Butt
Wait, butts exist in this show!? It appears they do and Akeno in particular likes to show hers in official art, at least comparatively for the show’s low standards. I won’t argue against having the bustiest main girl showing her ass plenty but it sounds bizarre since DxD is, well, DxD. She also gets some nice shots in the show itself, to the point one might think they’re trying to make her a “butt girl” if this show knew men like female butts. There’s even a figure of her as a bunnygirl in all fours, hips on air! Shame she doesn’t get a sexy facesitting femdom scene, but with this show it’d be like asking pears from an elm! In case it wasn’t clear DxD favors breasts a lot.
Grade: C+
: Facesitting sounds fun, I should try it♥.
Clothes
Quite a few. As with many girls Akeno’s default is her school uniform, which should be quite solid in theory as it’s a black blazer with a white undershirt and a red skirt. The problem is because this show cares way too much about breasts the blazer only covers until below her chest and adds a weird mantle JUST so the breast zone alone can be left exposed and emphasized to the max. It looks really stupid. Come on, you don’t see guys with a hole on their pants so their testicles can hang out of it! Akeno doesn’t even wear thighhighs or pantyhose for balance, so blah. Her other regular costume is the one she wears when fighting and transforms into, a MIKO COSTUME! Other than her lately so common detached sleeves it’s a regular with a red hakama and everything, but I love mikos so not complaining.
Other costumes she has worn include: A variety of bikinis, lots of sexy underwear included various THONGS and also thighhighs, a fallen angel costume which involves ridiculously tiny unsupportive underwear, a cow print bikini tho bizarrely one image of it focuses on her nearly-bare ass, gym uniforms with navy blue buruma or red shorts but not red buruma, a bunny costume as said above, queen as in dominatrix gear with a G-String, regular dominatrix gear too, a white yukata, tennis costume with the typical frilly underskirt, and others. The official card game also adds nurse, yukata but showing cleavage because DxD didn’t get kimono look better when worn by FLAT girls, cheerleader, exotic dancer of several types, race queen, Santa girl, sexy chef, Chinese dress, and a bunch of other sexy costumes I can’t describe because sadly I’m not very smart. Still, Akeno has a pretty good collection and is only held down by the chest focus of most of them because DxD is extremely mamocentric!
Grade: B+
: Zettai, have you asked yourself why men love mikos so much.
No, but I’ve asked myself why you can be a miko and use holy attacks when Asia can’t touch her Bible any more.
: Breasts.
What?
: The answer to every plothole in DxD is breasts.
I liked it more when a wizard did it.
: Think it was a wizard WITH BREASTS. *giggles*
Mind
Personality
Akeno was born to a miko and a fallen angel, which is kind of wrong since magical crossbreeding is terrible or something. Her mom died when she was very young and she roamed the country helping people with the miko skills she got from her. Her father’s family tried to get rid of her but since she saved a member of the Gremory family they saved her back and let her join them, thus becoming a companion for Rias from now on. That’s where we find her when the series starts, and ever since she remains loyal to Rias and the heroes. I’m not going to recap 17 volumes of a franchise I’m not big in, but the gist of it is Akeno helps kick demon ass, reveals Issei the truth about the wing nonsense, kicks more ass, incomprehensibly falls in love with Issei, kicks yet more ass, feels the saddest when Issei “died” even though that day should’ve been one of celebration and perhaps even turned into a national holiday, kicks ass once he’s back as he’s Manbaby Jesus, and then she kicks ass. So yeah, Akeno is pretty awesome.
Her personality as mentioned before is that of an “Oneesama” character, in fact her and Rias are known as the two big Oneesamas of the school. And this is where Akeno’s main problem resides: Her character overlaps too much with that of Rias the main girl even though the other main girls are all different from each other and from the Rias and Akeno duo. Seriously, both are long-haired tall way-too-overly-busty dommy assertive Oneesamas who love to tease the main guy and are admired by the regular students. Not any of these things save for the overbustiness are bad mind you, but it’s really strange to see two girls so similar for seemingly no reason. Worst part is it hurts Akeno since Rias is the main girl the story revolves around, meaning Akeno ends downplayed and also looking like the copycat. The series does try to give her the Luigi treatment, making Akeno get more emphasis on her sadism and such, but at the end both girls are too similar. I do prefer Akeno to Rias, but still. Furthermore, while Akeno is pretty good originally she gets issues as the series goes, like revealing deep in she needs to depend on others and her borderline NTR attitude towards Issei. It just ain’t cool. Still, that’s all because DxD is a crummy show, shame as I approve of this sadist Oneesama otherwise!
Grade: B
: I’m not Luigi!
Of course, you’re more Waluigi if anything...
: So Rias is Wario? I don’t think she likes being told her farts are deadly. *giggles*
Libido
Kind of all over the place. In one hand she’s a sadist, no, THE sadist of the series. In the other she falls in love with Issei, and sure he’s the main guy of a harem show, but he is also Issei. Issei doesn’t deserve to be with any of these likable girls nor with Koneko, if anything he should go with an equally annoying character like Sena! Hey, this couple is perfect, Issei would be a pathetic loyal worshipper of Sena because of her cow udders while Sena gets someone she can treat as dung and get away with it and meanwhile the better characters of their shows don’t have to deal with them any more. They both also deserve to fall inside a truck full of manure. More on topic Issei is so awful he is also Kaito from AnoNatsu and draws Akeno’s M side out. You know, this is hardly the only show that does this, but it irritates me people think being S also means being M when they are quite literally opposites. People CAN be both, but that is hardly a standard. Seriously, that’s like assuming everyone is bisexual. And she won’t steal Issei from Rias though still comes close at times with her extreme teasing, boo. My point is that while Akeno has a good base way too many issues pile on her and drag on her, shame!
Grade: B-
: So you prefer S girls, Zettai?
YES, I DO! And so does Topaz!
: Will have to remember that... *takes notes*
Age
Unfortunately Akeno doesn’t have an age given, but she’s a third year unlike the rest of the main cast in first or second year which makes her possible age be in a borderline status. I’ll be fair and not take many points off her though. Plus we saw her at around 10 years old in flashbacks, that helps.
Grade: B
Voice
Shizuka Itou is a great VA and oneesan characters are her specialty, so needless to say she does an amazing job as Akeno. No, really, I honestly feel they’re a perfect match! Plus like all good oneesan characters she says “Ara, ara” and “Ufufu” a lot which is really cute and sexy, personally at least. Also I haven’t heard the English dub, but trustable sources say it’s awful. So on par with the show, har har.
Grade: B+
Total: 77 (B)
: Ara ara, what a good score relatively speaking.
Right, in general the girls in DxD aren’t too bad. The problem is Issei. Now will you release the girls?
: No.
No!? You said you would!
: What? I’m evil, I lied.
Fine! Now I’m the only one who can free them, so I will! After all, the title says you will confront me! Even if I'm only the Butt "Dragon" for being born in 1988...
: But would you harm a girl, especially a sadistic one? That would be the aesthetics of a rogue hero, and you aren’t like that.
Grrrr.... She’s got me.
: Zettai...
Blonde Girl: *slams door open* {WAIT!}
: Who is that?
KUCHINASHI!
: {No one told me about the Wookiee cookie jar until now! Tried to grab one and ended here. Then I peared heard everything and had to help.}
You will help us after all? Awesome!
: {This blog isn’t big enough for two girls from shows scored a 1.}
: What will you do, then?
: {I challenge you, Akeno! If I win you Amagi free everyone, if you win Zettai becomes you pet.}
: I accept♥!
Wait, shouldn’t I get a say on this?
: {No.}
: However, we can’t have a straight fight because we’re both bisexuals, so I had a special field set-up in case a girl challenged me.
That’s elaborate.
: It’s better than my original idea of breast sumo, ufufu. *giggles and presses a button to reveal a shallow pool full of water and with “something” inside*
: {Zettai, are those what I think?}
Sea cucumbers. Dozens of them.
: Whoever gets more of these babies out in five minutes shall win♥. However, you can’t pick them with your hands, feet, or mouth! I of course will use my luscious chest that gets me so much praise, but YOU probably can’t do that. *smirks*
: {I will use my Yoshi tushie.}
: Ara ara, you really think that will work?
Should you get changed?
: Right. There’s a changing room on here with a lot of swimsuits. You might want to use Asia’s, mine would be too big...
: *glares at Akeno and follows her into the changing room*
So you think Kuchinashi can win?
: Of course, it’s your blog.
Takane lost to Sakura.
: And Nodoka from Saki lost to some super-player out of nowhere, but she still was overpowered.
Good point. *the changing room’s door opens* Oh, about time.
: Sorry to keep you waiting♥. *comes out in a supportive black bikini*
: {I only could find this...} *comes out in a yellow string swimsuit, the bottom part wedged deep in her ass*
: Your ass is bigger than Asia’s, didn’t expect that♥.
You look great, Kuchinashi!
: *glares, but appreciates it*
So... are you starting?
: Sure, whenever you want.
: *nods*
START!
: Ufufu♥ *dives in and starts pulling out sea cucumbers with her breasts, though they usually splurt when she does that*
: ...! *trips and falls on a sea cucumber ass-first, making it splurt* ... *blushes and starts pulling them out with her cheeks*
Wow, both of you are fast and skillful!
: *flusters a bit and keeps cheeking the cucumbers out*
: Thank you, I’m sure Topaz will appreciate this♥ *busts out the cucumbers faster*
Let me check the time... *does so* Five, four, three, two, one... STOOOOOP! *both girls stop* Now go count all the cucumbers you’ve pulled out, please!
: Sure thing! *counts them up* ...And twenty-one! Wow, that’s my new record!
: *counts them in her notepad, then shows it to Zettai and Akeno*
: It can’t be....
With twenty-four cucumbers Kuchinashi is the winner! Congrats!
: *shows off her ass and smacks it on pride*
: I-I lost? Does that mean at the end butts are better than breasts?
No, butts were better than breasts regardless of which of you had won.
: {Toupee Topaz.}
Right, right. Still, Akeno, you put an impressive fight and I’m sure someone enjoyed it!
: I did! *pats Akeno on the back*
: Thank you... Wait, how did you come out?
: It was easy. While you were catching sea cucumbers...*flashbacks*
: And that’s how it went.
: Hey, you didn’t need to tell them about the last part!
: I blame Zettai somehow.
: Should’ve been paying more attention to you...
: {Zettai, I reluctantly join the party.}
Really?
: {You owe me one, so I’m not leaping leaving.}
Welcome aboard then!
: Ara, do you have room for one more?
Eh, sure. We beat you so we’re buddies now. That’s what Shounen Jump taught me at least.
: Ufufu, thank you♥.
: Now let’s get back to the Nadesico and keep looking for enemies...
Welcome back. Last week we got a strange illness that made us see hippos everywhere. Then Takane and Sakura had an epic sexy wrestling match and we got better. *waits* No one is gonna snark at me? *notices no other girls are around* Chiaki? Mistress? Ruri? ...Lacus?
(...)
Looks like no one is around and I checked the whole ship... Wait, what’s that? *spots a letter lying on the floor* This wasn’t here before... *reads it* Someone had kidnapped all the girls and is waiting for me in a nearby house! I’m going! *goes*
Voice: I’ve been waiting for you, Zettai...
Hinagiku, I already faced you. Get out from that unlit area.
Voice: Ara ara, I’m not her. *giggles and shows herself* I’m...
Ack, a DxD character! Run for the hills, or rather for the butte!
: Won’t you give me a chance to explain myself?
No!
: Oh my, that’s a problem. Then I might have to do this... *transforms*
Just because I like mikos I won’t stop running for the buttes!
: You don’t need to go to the buttes, the buttes will go to you! *moons Zettai* HOLEY LIGHTNING! *fires a beam of energy out of her ass, zapping Zettai for an unknown amount of HP*
That’s not what moonlighting means... *somehow liked it, but falls to the ground*
: Ufufu♥ *sits her Oneesama ass on Zettai* Will you now be a good guy and listen?
...Fine.
: Figured this would make you listen, though it’s the first time I met someone who favors female asses. *giggles* Zettai, I have caught all your female companions!
WHAT? How?
: A hidden magical warp in front of a cookie jar with “Free cookies” written on it.
Damn it, my team’s only weakness! *hits the ground with his fist in frustration*
: Don’t worry, I don’t plan to hurt them... much. *giggles*
B-But where are they?
: Oh, you want to see them?
Yeah.
: Follow me! *gets up and leads Zettai to another room, where the female cast is all lying in a gigantic bed in their underwear*
: Zettai, you came!
: He probably did, from this sexy sight. *smirks*
G-Girls...!
: Akeno has some sort of magical tech not letting anyone but her leave this bed!
: And on top of that she must’ve done something to Vita and Signum, since I can’t see them!
: If you’re looking for AltEisen and Angelg, they left sometime after Kotori’s blog.
: I think they said something like “Finales are a funny thing” and left...
: Seems they’re still full of energy... I’ll go play with one of them♥. *gets in and starts tickling Cynthia*
: AHAHAHAHA! PLEASE STOP! NO, NOT THE FEET! PAUSE, PAAAAUSE! *squirms and enjoys herself a lot the whole time*
: This was fun♥. *gets out*
You just picked Cynthia because Topaz started her show.
: Maybe, ufufu♥. If you write a blog about me I’ll free them.
For real?
: For real.
Head
Hair
Akeno has black hair. Personally this is her best trait, since it’s my favorite color and it fits her personality and miko-ness very well. Sadly she has a ponytail, but it must be one of the best ponytails ever: It’s long, but not enough to cover her butt in spite of the show she’s from, and in most images her ponytail looks very lively and dynamic, I’m not sure how to describe it but they really like to emphasize the movement of her hair. It looks better than if her ponytail just stuck behind her for sure. She holds it with an orange ribbon and has a double ahoge of sorts framing her ponytail, it’s a little strange but it works well for her. The few times we can see it down her hair still looks pretty nice, the usual for these cases. Sadly her bangs are pretty standard, but they frame her face well so not too bad. In short go Akeno’s long hair!
Grade: A
: Ara, like this? *spins and lets her ponytail dance*
Yes, like that! *approves*
: It’s funny to find a man with non-standard tastes...
Eyes
Almost on par with Akeno’s hair her eyes are great, being a lovely dark-ish pink color. Considering the main girl and the rival one have blue and green eyes this is a real nice surprise. The shape is a tsurime, though not a strong one especially when compared to Rias. It still looks good on her, and like similar girls she’s fond of half-closing her eyes to look sexier! Sadly I don’t think she wears glasses, even though there’s a group of girls with glasses and Rias herself wears glasses when she needs to get pensive. Shame!
Grade: A
: Koneko mentioned opposing a blogger who liked glasses, was it you?
No, that was Topaz. Who would’ve liked talking about you much more than I do no doubt.
: All in due time. *giggles* For now I’ll do this! *puts on thick glasses*
Good job! *thumbs up*
: Ufufu♥.
Body
Build
Guess there’s no avoiding this, huh? Ah, well. Akeno has measurements, but given the show they are less than stellar. Both her height and weight are fine, 168 cm and 54 kg respectively. 168 cm is tall but fits her character well so no complaints. Well, I do have one but not the kind you expect: Despite being a dommy TDB and the oldest girl in the main cast she’s not the tallest girl, in fact she’s not even taller than the appalling main guy if just by 2 cms. That’s how much Rias has on him actually, making her the tallest girl. While Rias is also a dommy TDB senpai she’s not as focused on this as Akeno is, so this choice is feels like the author was winging things out. Speaking of Akeno has wings, but while she has devil wings as other devils have her real ones are fallen angel wings, which are like regular wings but black. Or something, I got lost with the whole wing business. She feels ashamed of them due to plot reasons, but they’re pretty! Her three sizes are sadly mega-lopsided: 102/60/89. Yes, she has breasts THIRTEEN cms bigger than her hips, which sadly isn’t even in the top 3 biggest breast-favoring gaps I’ve seen. Her chest also goes over 100 cm while her hips can’t even break the 90HB, and the show in general only barely crosses it with Rias having 90 cm hips yet her chest is also a massive 99 cm. The sad part is the other girls can be fairer, like Xenovia with 87/58/88 or Asia with 78/55/81, which means these two are like this solely to emphasize the fact their breasts are HUGE.
That makes this a good moment to have my Paragraph of Hate! As always this is the one part you can skip. In case all my jabs all over the blog and previous blogs and any other place weren’t clear: I really, really don’t like DxD. You may remember way back in June I covered Nymph from Sora no Otoshimono and derided her franchise for being mamocentric. Well, DxD makes SnO look like the epic tiny Neuroi episode of Strike Witches. Most of it comes from its main character, Issei, one of my most loathed and scorned anime characters of all time. He’s like all the negative stereotypes and actual bad habits of harem leads rolled into one, but worse. Guy is an overly generic pervert who cares about big breasts and literally nothing else except the few times TNK forgets and makes him act like an adult, with the worst scene being the one where villains will cut everything in the world in half and he only cares about the girls getting half as small breasts. That’s it. Nothing about their butts, or their height, or his penis getting half as small, or anything else. I would say his brain was already reduced to half, but that’s impossible as 0 between anything always gives 0. Somehow despite this he is ALSO the kind of sex-fearing lead that freaks out with nudity and the like and thus has barely got progress with Rias in the nearly 20 volumes the novels have! Oh, and Issei is also an absolute moron who only wins fights because he has an OPPAI dragon, I mean an OP dragon. Sadly in his case both are valid. And other than being generically perverted and generically asexual at once and also an overpowered moron he has nothing else to his personality. Well, he has some backstory and stuff, but it’s nothing special and it comes as an excuse of why he’s this contradictory. It doesn’t work. And yet this dumbass gets lots of love from the fanbase, never mind the more likable Rito from TLR only gets lots of hate for example, and is actually the second most popular DxD character with over 1600 favorites! He’s in the Top 300 and beats infinitely more likable male leads like Kazehaya, Wild Tiger, Shiroe, Haru Yoshida, Alibaba, Ken’ichi Shirahama and many others. He might be my least favorite harem lead ever and in my Top 5 worst male characters of all time, which is saying something.
I could also rant about all the awful mamocentric things the show in general does, but personally Topaz covered it pretty well when he did Koneko’s blog, so I just focused on Issei as he is honestly the worst part of the show. Not that being by TNK made it favors. As for Akeno her body is nice aside from her bust size woes, which are hardly exclusive to her but still lower score. At least her loli-self is cute and doesn’t have cow udders like another similar girl in another poor recent anime.
Grade: B-
: You... don’t... like... big... breasts...?
Exactly.
: But...That’s...Well...Err... *takes a sip of water* Sorry, I didn’t think anyone like that existed.
: Once we get out of here I am SO going to Fujioka Zettai for using the same joke three times.
: For this show three aren’t enough!
Butt
Wait, butts exist in this show!? It appears they do and Akeno in particular likes to show hers in official art, at least comparatively for the show’s low standards. I won’t argue against having the bustiest main girl showing her ass plenty but it sounds bizarre since DxD is, well, DxD. She also gets some nice shots in the show itself, to the point one might think they’re trying to make her a “butt girl” if this show knew men like female butts. There’s even a figure of her as a bunnygirl in all fours, hips on air! Shame she doesn’t get a sexy facesitting femdom scene, but with this show it’d be like asking pears from an elm! In case it wasn’t clear DxD favors breasts a lot.
Grade: C+
: Facesitting sounds fun, I should try it♥.
Clothes
Quite a few. As with many girls Akeno’s default is her school uniform, which should be quite solid in theory as it’s a black blazer with a white undershirt and a red skirt. The problem is because this show cares way too much about breasts the blazer only covers until below her chest and adds a weird mantle JUST so the breast zone alone can be left exposed and emphasized to the max. It looks really stupid. Come on, you don’t see guys with a hole on their pants so their testicles can hang out of it! Akeno doesn’t even wear thighhighs or pantyhose for balance, so blah. Her other regular costume is the one she wears when fighting and transforms into, a MIKO COSTUME! Other than her lately so common detached sleeves it’s a regular with a red hakama and everything, but I love mikos so not complaining.
Other costumes she has worn include: A variety of bikinis, lots of sexy underwear included various THONGS and also thighhighs, a fallen angel costume which involves ridiculously tiny unsupportive underwear, a cow print bikini tho bizarrely one image of it focuses on her nearly-bare ass, gym uniforms with navy blue buruma or red shorts but not red buruma, a bunny costume as said above, queen as in dominatrix gear with a G-String, regular dominatrix gear too, a white yukata, tennis costume with the typical frilly underskirt, and others. The official card game also adds nurse, yukata but showing cleavage because DxD didn’t get kimono look better when worn by FLAT girls, cheerleader, exotic dancer of several types, race queen, Santa girl, sexy chef, Chinese dress, and a bunch of other sexy costumes I can’t describe because sadly I’m not very smart. Still, Akeno has a pretty good collection and is only held down by the chest focus of most of them because DxD is extremely mamocentric!
Grade: B+
: Zettai, have you asked yourself why men love mikos so much.
No, but I’ve asked myself why you can be a miko and use holy attacks when Asia can’t touch her Bible any more.
: Breasts.
What?
: The answer to every plothole in DxD is breasts.
I liked it more when a wizard did it.
: Think it was a wizard WITH BREASTS. *giggles*
Mind
Personality
Akeno was born to a miko and a fallen angel, which is kind of wrong since magical crossbreeding is terrible or something. Her mom died when she was very young and she roamed the country helping people with the miko skills she got from her. Her father’s family tried to get rid of her but since she saved a member of the Gremory family they saved her back and let her join them, thus becoming a companion for Rias from now on. That’s where we find her when the series starts, and ever since she remains loyal to Rias and the heroes. I’m not going to recap 17 volumes of a franchise I’m not big in, but the gist of it is Akeno helps kick demon ass, reveals Issei the truth about the wing nonsense, kicks more ass, incomprehensibly falls in love with Issei, kicks yet more ass, feels the saddest when Issei “died” even though that day should’ve been one of celebration and perhaps even turned into a national holiday, kicks ass once he’s back as he’s Manbaby Jesus, and then she kicks ass. So yeah, Akeno is pretty awesome.
Her personality as mentioned before is that of an “Oneesama” character, in fact her and Rias are known as the two big Oneesamas of the school. And this is where Akeno’s main problem resides: Her character overlaps too much with that of Rias the main girl even though the other main girls are all different from each other and from the Rias and Akeno duo. Seriously, both are long-haired tall way-too-overly-busty dommy assertive Oneesamas who love to tease the main guy and are admired by the regular students. Not any of these things save for the overbustiness are bad mind you, but it’s really strange to see two girls so similar for seemingly no reason. Worst part is it hurts Akeno since Rias is the main girl the story revolves around, meaning Akeno ends downplayed and also looking like the copycat. The series does try to give her the Luigi treatment, making Akeno get more emphasis on her sadism and such, but at the end both girls are too similar. I do prefer Akeno to Rias, but still. Furthermore, while Akeno is pretty good originally she gets issues as the series goes, like revealing deep in she needs to depend on others and her borderline NTR attitude towards Issei. It just ain’t cool. Still, that’s all because DxD is a crummy show, shame as I approve of this sadist Oneesama otherwise!
Grade: B
: I’m not Luigi!
Of course, you’re more Waluigi if anything...
: So Rias is Wario? I don’t think she likes being told her farts are deadly. *giggles*
Libido
Kind of all over the place. In one hand she’s a sadist, no, THE sadist of the series. In the other she falls in love with Issei, and sure he’s the main guy of a harem show, but he is also Issei. Issei doesn’t deserve to be with any of these likable girls nor with Koneko, if anything he should go with an equally annoying character like Sena! Hey, this couple is perfect, Issei would be a pathetic loyal worshipper of Sena because of her cow udders while Sena gets someone she can treat as dung and get away with it and meanwhile the better characters of their shows don’t have to deal with them any more. They both also deserve to fall inside a truck full of manure. More on topic Issei is so awful he is also Kaito from AnoNatsu and draws Akeno’s M side out. You know, this is hardly the only show that does this, but it irritates me people think being S also means being M when they are quite literally opposites. People CAN be both, but that is hardly a standard. Seriously, that’s like assuming everyone is bisexual. And she won’t steal Issei from Rias though still comes close at times with her extreme teasing, boo. My point is that while Akeno has a good base way too many issues pile on her and drag on her, shame!
Grade: B-
: So you prefer S girls, Zettai?
YES, I DO! And so does Topaz!
: Will have to remember that... *takes notes*
Age
Unfortunately Akeno doesn’t have an age given, but she’s a third year unlike the rest of the main cast in first or second year which makes her possible age be in a borderline status. I’ll be fair and not take many points off her though. Plus we saw her at around 10 years old in flashbacks, that helps.
Grade: B
Voice
Shizuka Itou is a great VA and oneesan characters are her specialty, so needless to say she does an amazing job as Akeno. No, really, I honestly feel they’re a perfect match! Plus like all good oneesan characters she says “Ara, ara” and “Ufufu” a lot which is really cute and sexy, personally at least. Also I haven’t heard the English dub, but trustable sources say it’s awful. So on par with the show, har har.
Grade: B+
Total: 77 (B)
: Ara ara, what a good score relatively speaking.
Right, in general the girls in DxD aren’t too bad. The problem is Issei. Now will you release the girls?
: No.
No!? You said you would!
: What? I’m evil, I lied.
Fine! Now I’m the only one who can free them, so I will! After all, the title says you will confront me! Even if I'm only the Butt "Dragon" for being born in 1988...
: But would you harm a girl, especially a sadistic one? That would be the aesthetics of a rogue hero, and you aren’t like that.
Grrrr.... She’s got me.
: Zettai...
Blonde Girl: *slams door open* {WAIT!}
: Who is that?
KUCHINASHI!
: {No one told me about the Wookiee cookie jar until now! Tried to grab one and ended here. Then I peared heard everything and had to help.}
You will help us after all? Awesome!
: {This blog isn’t big enough for two girls from shows scored a 1.}
: What will you do, then?
: {I challenge you, Akeno! If I win you Amagi free everyone, if you win Zettai becomes you pet.}
: I accept♥!
Wait, shouldn’t I get a say on this?
: {No.}
: However, we can’t have a straight fight because we’re both bisexuals, so I had a special field set-up in case a girl challenged me.
That’s elaborate.
: It’s better than my original idea of breast sumo, ufufu. *giggles and presses a button to reveal a shallow pool full of water and with “something” inside*
: {Zettai, are those what I think?}
Sea cucumbers. Dozens of them.
: Whoever gets more of these babies out in five minutes shall win♥. However, you can’t pick them with your hands, feet, or mouth! I of course will use my luscious chest that gets me so much praise, but YOU probably can’t do that. *smirks*
: {I will use my Yoshi tushie.}
: Ara ara, you really think that will work?
Should you get changed?
: Right. There’s a changing room on here with a lot of swimsuits. You might want to use Asia’s, mine would be too big...
: *glares at Akeno and follows her into the changing room*
So you think Kuchinashi can win?
: Of course, it’s your blog.
Takane lost to Sakura.
: And Nodoka from Saki lost to some super-player out of nowhere, but she still was overpowered.
Good point. *the changing room’s door opens* Oh, about time.
: Sorry to keep you waiting♥. *comes out in a supportive black bikini*
: {I only could find this...} *comes out in a yellow string swimsuit, the bottom part wedged deep in her ass*
: Your ass is bigger than Asia’s, didn’t expect that♥.
You look great, Kuchinashi!
: *glares, but appreciates it*
So... are you starting?
: Sure, whenever you want.
: *nods*
START!
: Ufufu♥ *dives in and starts pulling out sea cucumbers with her breasts, though they usually splurt when she does that*
: ...! *trips and falls on a sea cucumber ass-first, making it splurt* ... *blushes and starts pulling them out with her cheeks*
Wow, both of you are fast and skillful!
: *flusters a bit and keeps cheeking the cucumbers out*
: Thank you, I’m sure Topaz will appreciate this♥ *busts out the cucumbers faster*
Let me check the time... *does so* Five, four, three, two, one... STOOOOOP! *both girls stop* Now go count all the cucumbers you’ve pulled out, please!
: Sure thing! *counts them up* ...And twenty-one! Wow, that’s my new record!
: *counts them in her notepad, then shows it to Zettai and Akeno*
: It can’t be....
With twenty-four cucumbers Kuchinashi is the winner! Congrats!
: *shows off her ass and smacks it on pride*
: I-I lost? Does that mean at the end butts are better than breasts?
No, butts were better than breasts regardless of which of you had won.
: {Toupee Topaz.}
Right, right. Still, Akeno, you put an impressive fight and I’m sure someone enjoyed it!
: I did! *pats Akeno on the back*
: Thank you... Wait, how did you come out?
: It was easy. While you were catching sea cucumbers...*flashbacks*
: And that’s how it went.
: Hey, you didn’t need to tell them about the last part!
: I blame Zettai somehow.
: Should’ve been paying more attention to you...
: {Zettai, I reluctantly join the party.}
Really?
: {You owe me one, so I’m not leaping leaving.}
Welcome aboard then!
: Ara, do you have room for one more?
Eh, sure. We beat you so we’re buddies now. That’s what Shounen Jump taught me at least.
: Ufufu, thank you♥.
: Now let’s get back to the Nadesico and keep looking for enemies...
Posted by
ZettaiRyouiki
| Nov 13, 2014 12:41 AM |
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